The string of balls - Chapter 2

Episode 16: I Loved You First

“…………Yeah?”

“Oh? Are you awake?”

A soft voice echoed in my hazy head.

I sat up exhausted and turned towards the voice, and a kind-looking, beautiful woman in her twenties wearing a white coat was looking at me.

“This place is…”

The smell of disinfectant and a hard bed…

That’s right, I went to see Koto…and then…

So this person was a teacher. Has there ever been a teacher like this? I’ve never seen one, but…oh well.

“It’s the infirmary. You’re only slightly anemic, so there’s no need to worry. It doesn’t look like you’ve hit yourself on anything, so you should be thankful to your friend sleeping there.”

The teacher shifted his gaze from me to his hands, then pointed to the side of the bed with his pen, while looking at some documents.

Ah, Koto… she’s asleep. I wonder if she’s been with me ever since.

Koto’s sleeping face… it’s been a while since I last saw it… It hasn’t changed at all since the old days… hehe…

Won’t you hurt your neck if you sit in a chair with your face in the bed?

“And to those beautiful girls. They brought you here.”

“Thank you both…um, thank you very much…”

“You’re welcome. Well, this is my job, so don’t worry about it.”

The teacher waved his hand and continued speaking.

“Also, sorry for just waking up, but I’m going to be away for a bit. I got called in, so… a cigarette would be fine, right? I’m still at work, after all… sigh…”

“Eh, well, yes…”

“For now, please stay put. If anything happens, use that extension line, there’s a note on how to use it. The vice principal is responsible, okay?”

“Ha, haa…”

“Well, I’ll be back in less than an hour. Leave it to me.”

With that said, the teacher left the nurse’s office muttering to himself.

She was a stormy person…I’m not a health committee member or anything but…

Oh yeah, I have to thank Kawasaki-san later. He’s not here, so maybe he’s gone back to the classroom.

I’m sorry for making you two worried…

“yeah……”

The sound of her voice escaping from her sound sleep soothed my mind.

Hehe… this brings back memories. We used to sleep together often after getting tired from playing…

“Text…?”

Oh, I woke up.

What a shame… I wanted to see your sleeping face a little longer.

“Good morning, Koto. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Are you okay to get up now? Does anything hurt?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just anemic. And…thanks for looking after me, right?”

“…I was worried.”

The usual… those kind, warm eyes. The ones I love…

Good, it wasn’t that he hated me.

I’m so happy and my heart feels warm. I’m especially happy because he’s been looking at me with a somewhat cold gaze recently.

Things haven’t changed after all. They’re still the things I like.

“Was it heavy? I heard two people carried it for you.”

“No… I was just there with them.”

“Eh? But the nurse just said that it was just Koto and Kawasaki-san…”

Koto shook her head in denial and began to speak happily.

“Kotone carried it for me. It was amazing, wasn’t it? She carried Fumie in her arms like a princess with ease…it was so cool…Ah…maybe I’ll ask her to do the same for me later…hehe…”

…Ah…I see, that’s what it was…

The way you look at someone you love…that’s why they looked so kind…so warm…

The reason he no longer looked at me with those eyes was because he fell in love with Kawasaki-san.

The only reason I felt he was cold was because of the distance between us as friends…

I was worried about you so I looked at you with kind eyes, but does that mean I’ll go back to looking at you with those cold eyes…? From now on…?

“Fumi? Are you still spacing out? You should lie down. I’ll keep an eye on you, okay?”

…No.

I can’t stand that. When I said I wanted to be with you forever, I didn’t just want you to be by my side. I wanted you to look at me with those gentle eyes.

Those eyes make me feel warm and happy.

I thought that you would always be by my side. Even if I had a boyfriend or Koto had a girlfriend, nothing would change, that’s not how it works…

The throbbing pain in my chest I felt at that time…why didn’t you tell me earlier…I…it was like that from the beginning…

“Fumi? No way.”

…No, it’s not too late.

After all, Koto said that he’d liked me since we were little. There’s no way he could forget that easily… He still likes me. Even this morning…

I won’t hand this over to anyone.

“Fumi…? What’s wrong?!”

“Hmm…”

I hugged Koto, who was looking into my face and kissed her on the lips.

My heart is pounding… hahaha… I guess I did love Koto.

I was so close that I didn’t notice, and I was relying too much on Koto’s kindness. I have to tell him that I love him properly too. It’s not easy to convey my feelings just by thinking them.

“Koto, I love you.”

“What are you saying…?”

“Not as a friend, but as a girl. …Huh? But it’s not like I like girls…”

The kiss felt good, but…

Is this what it means to like a woman? I don’t get it.

“…You’ve only just woken up, so it’s best to rest. I’ll forget about what just happened, so go lie down and get some sleep.”

Koto… He looks a bit complicated…

Maybe she didn’t like the kiss…

“I’m not half asleep, you know?”

“No matter how you look at it, it’s weird… It’s okay, look at that.”

Hmmm… how can I make him believe me…

I love Koto.

He really wants to get me to sleep… That’s it! This will do…

I took Koto’s hand that was holding my shoulder and pressed it hard against my chest.

“Ah, Fumie?!”

Hahaha, his face is bright red and he’s looking around… so cute…

I guess Koto still likes me after all. Otherwise he wouldn’t be so flustered…

…I did! It’s not like I didn’t like the kiss. Maybe I was so surprised that I made that face. Next time, I’ll do it slowly, not suddenly… Just thinking about it made my heart pound even more… I wonder if my face is red too…

“Right? You know? I’m so excited because I like you.”

It’s so loud that I can hear it myself, so I know it’s getting through to them.

“I, uh, l, let go!”

“Ah… it’s fine if you touch me…”

The hand I was holding was pulled out easily.

Being touched by Koto… felt good…

It was over my shirt, but the place where he touched me felt a little hot.

“Are you making fun of me? You don’t like me at all.”

While looking away from me, he muttered weakly to himself.

He grabbed Koto’s face, who was looking down, between his hands and pulled her up so that their faces were facing each other.

Those unsure eyes…timid, and just made me want to protect them…for the first time, I understood the meaning of the word “heart-pounding.”

” It’s nothing. I like it. I like it.”

“Fumi is mistaken… She thinks that because I’m friendly with Kotone, she’s taken away her friend. She’s lonely and thinks that she likes me… That’s all…”

“No, that’s not it. At first, I thought the same thing… but it’s not the case.”

I want you to understand that I like you.

“When you were talking about Kawasaki-san, you know? I noticed. You looked happy. You had kind, warm eyes. You’ve always looked at me with those kind eyes since we were little, right?”

“Even if you say eyes… I don’t know what that is…”

Even her troubled face is cute…

I wonder if he’d always had that look on his face… What a waste.

“I… loved being looked at with those gentle eyes. It made my heart warm and made me happy. But recently he hasn’t looked at me like that. Now he only has those eyes when he’s looking at Kawasaki-san.”

“…Because…I love Kotone…”

It’s not Kawasaki-san ‘ga’, it’s Kawasaki-san ‘mo’, right?

You like me more than Kawasaki-san, don’t you?

“Yeah… I know. That’s why I realized. She could look at someone she liked. Koto had loved me since we were little, and had always looked at me with those eyes.”

“…That’s an old story.”

“Hehe… isn’t that right? I’m the one who knows the details best.”

When I smiled at him, Koto flinched.

That’s true. Do you think I don’t know?

“No… what are you trying to say?”

He brushed my hand away and glared at me.

It’s not scary even if you glare at me with a sulky look on your face.

Even though I’m dating Kawasaki-san, my feelings for me won’t go away.

I’m sure you were looking at me with cold eyes, desperately trying to maintain a distance as a friend, but the kind eyes you showed me when I woke up…they weren’t eyes of concern for a friend, were they?

“You were trying to fudge it this morning when you asked me if I wanted to touch my br3asts.”

“…It wasn’t something we should be talking about in the morning.”

Again, look away and run away.

I definitely won’t let you get away though…hehe…

“You seemed happy when I told you it wasn’t disgusting?”

“That’s because… well… I was happy because I didn’t think you hated me… just as a friend… so it’s not like I like you or anything…”

“I said, ‘No, it’s not that,’ but I never asked you if you liked it or not.”

“…That’s the nuance I was trying to convey. That’s what I thought, so I just answered.”

That’s pretty tough.

It seems like it’s not all a lie…

I could point that out, but maybe it’s time to stop. I want to tease her a bit more. And it’s cute how she tries so hard to make excuses.
Kawasaki returned to the classroom just in time for homeroom to start, her face as bright and satisfied as ever.

He just walked over and sat down in the seat at the back by the window, and then he was resting his chin on his hand and smiling again…I was staring at him, and when his eyes met, he waved lightly and smiled at me.

I know it’s not Kawasaki’s fault, but… I waved back feeling a bit confused.

Even during the ten-minute break between classes, when we’re not in the classroom, it seems like the two of us sneak off somewhere together. We just started dating, after all… I want to be alone with her, right?

…He was upset when I went to the classroom, but…Kawasaki-san is fine with it.

After all the morning classes were over and it was lunchtime, I suddenly realized that Kawasaki-san had disappeared.

Koto and I still eat lunch separately. We don’t go out together much on our days off anymore… I know it can’t be helped because I’m in a relationship, but I feel a little lonely.

I thought I’d never see you again, so I’m just happy to be with you…

“Fumi-san? Are you okay?”

“Oh… sorry, it’s okay…”

Recently, I’ve been having lunch with him in the courtyard.ShinobiShinobu

Kawasaki-san’s twin brother, a boy in class C. He confessed his love to me at the middle school graduation ceremony, and I rejected him, but then he confessed to me again when we got to the same high school…and I ended up going out with him.

She said it was for a limited time, and that if she still didn’t like me, she would give up completely, but…

“I’m sorry, Fumie. It seems like those guys spread it around and everyone cheered on them…”

“…No, don’t worry about it. We’re dating after all.”

I don’t want to tell you the truth, but I feel bad for Shinobu-kun, who dared to confess to me so many times.

Maybe if I start by looking at the shape, I’ll end up liking it. Right now, though, I’m not feeling that way at all…

“That’s a good thing to say. I’ll explain it to you later.”

“You didn’t mean any harm, did you? You were happy for me as if it were your achievement. You’re a good friend.”

“Hehe, she does have a soft spot for words. The two of us have been friends since childhood, or should I say, we’ve been friends for a long time. Isuzu and I have been together since elementary school, and we became good friends in middle school.”Subaru Subaru

Um… it was Isuzu-san and Kun, right?HinoHinoToyotaToyodaSubaruSubaru

“Subaru-kun, you’re in the same club, right? Were you in the soccer club in middle school too?”

“Yeah, we decided to go to the same high school… Ah, it was a coincidence! I didn’t follow Aya-san or anything…”

“I know. I’ve never told you which high school I was going to go to.”

I was friends with Shinobu, but we weren’t that close.

So I was shocked when he confessed to me.

“That’s true, but… There are various ways to do this, like asking Fumie’s friends, right?”

“…Did you hear?”

“No! I didn’t hear that! I swear to you!”

“Hahaha, you’re saying something similar to Kawasaki-san.”

Maybe because they’re twins? But you said they’re fraternal twins, right?

Strangely, they look that similar. Their faces aren’t the same, but… Shinobu-kun has a cool face too.

“And you too, big sister? It’s complicated… I don’t hate it, but I’m also not happy about it, it just makes me feel uneasy.”

“You don’t look very alike, Shinobu-kun and Kawasaki-san.”

“Even though we’re twins, we have different personalities and genders. I know I say it myself, but I’m good at sports and I’m good at studying, so I guess that’s about the only similarities we have.”

The way they talk is completely different too…

Kawasaki-san seems old-fashioned. He talks like a samurai…

I don’t know what you’re saying sometimes.

Shinobu-kun is… normal, or should I say. He seems like a boy.

“I’m not good at studying, so I’m jealous. If Koto hadn’t helped me with my studies, I might have had to repeat high school.”

“Ummm… during the final exams… if you don’t mind, why don’t you study together? I can help you if there’s anything you don’t understand, and we don’t have to be alone or anything, we could do it in the library or something!”

“Thanks. But it’s okay, Koto will tell me.”

If it weren’t for Koto, I would have failed all the midterm exams.

Unlike middle school, I don’t join any clubs, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be smarter.

After all, I can only do a little bit of exercise…

“…You and Honda-san are good friends, aren’t you? I often saw the two of you together in middle school.”

“Yeah! Our houses are next to each other and we’ve been together since we were little. We were in the same class all through elementary and middle school…that’s amazing, right? We ended up in different classes after entering high school, but…we’re still together in the mornings and after school, and on our days off we go out together.”

I haven’t been able to go out and play lately…

“…I see. Isuzu and I get along well, too. We weren’t always in the same class, but she would come to cheer me on at soccer games, make me lunch, etc…”

“Oh? Hino-san, you can cook. I can’t do it at all, so I admire you.”

Koto, if I cook you food, will you eat it?

I’ve heard that sweets are difficult, so I don’t think I could make them. Ah, but the chocolate you made for Valentine’s Day was delicious, and making them together seems like fun…

“It was so delicious! I think whoever marries Isuzu will be happy… I’m glad she cooks such delicious food for me…”

“That’s a big compliment. I’m sure Hino-san doesn’t know how happy Shinobu-kun was. You have to tell him properly, okay? I won’t know unless you tell me.”

If you just think about it, it won’t get across and you’ll end up missing each other.

You two are childhood friends, so I don’t want you to fight like we did.

“…Ah, yeah. That’s right…

“What’s wrong? Did I say something weird?”

Huh, are you kind of disappointed?

“No, it’s nothing. I just thought I had to keep trying.”

“Really? I don’t really get it, but… I’ll do my best, okay?”

“Haha… you’re tough…”

“Yeah?”

What have you been saying all this time?

Shinobu sometimes says things I can’t understand. Unlike Kawasaki, he doesn’t use difficult words or anything, but… he’s a little strange.

“What… is that?”

“Fumi-san? What’s wrong?”

At the edge… that’s right, I’m sure it’s over there… that empty classroom…

Hey, our eyes just met, right? So why are you ignoring me? Why are the curtains closed?

“…Thank you for the meal. Sorry Shinobu-kun, I’ll be back first.”

“Um, ah, Fumie?”

I quickly packed up my lunch box and walked quickly back to the classroom.

I quickly stuffed it into my bag and headed toward an empty classroom.

On the way, some friends called out to me, but I apologized and ran down the hallway, saying I was in a hurry.

That’s not true… Koto wasn’t ignoring me or anything… It was just my mistake that I thought our eyes met…

“Koto? Kawasaki-san? You’re there, right? Open up.”

After knocking on the door, I called out to the two of them and waited for a response.

Taking a moment to catch my breath, I tried to calm my impatient feelings, but it was no use.

What if he ignores me? What if I’m just mistaken?

There was a click and the sound of the lock opening and the door slid open.

“What’s wrong? You’re so out of breath…”

“Koto… Kawasaki-san… Koto, you’re here, right?”

“Ah… Kotonoha, you have a visitor.”

Kawasaki turned around and called out to Koto, who came out from the side.

The fact that you came out means… you’re not avoiding me, right?

But why didn’t you answer when I called?

“I can hear you. What’s wrong?”

“Well… that’s… it’s…”

I’m afraid to ask…I can’t get the words out properly.

But…if I don’t ask clearly, I’ll be left feeling uneasy.

So you have to listen carefully.

“A sentence?”

“Just now, from there…”

Even though I thought that my heart was pounding so much that I just couldn’t hear any more.

I’m scared. I’m afraid that Koto hates me.

No. Don’t ignore me. I said we’d be together forever.

“…? Fumie?! Are you okay?! You look pale… Nurse’s office! Kotone!”

I wonder what’s wrong… Koto… he looks desperate…

As soon as I had that thought, everything went dark before my eyes.