The string of balls - Final Chapter

What are you talking about…?”

It’s not that I couldn’t hear a word.

It’s not that I didn’t understand the meaning.

It is because I understand it that I am confused.

“That’s exactly what I meant. I asked you to kiss Hayama Aya in front of me.”

…My ears weren’t messed up, and I wasn’t going crazy.

My lover just asked me to kiss him, in front of him, and with someone who is not his lover.

Is this a punishment?

“…No. I don’t want to. I’ll never do it again.”

I made a vow.

Even if it’s Kotone’s order, I can’t listen.

“Well… I said it was okay…”

I forcefully divert my attention from the words that are clinging to me and try to find out what Kotone really means.

“Kotone… have you grown to hate me after all? Don’t you need me anymore?”

He asked, looking into her eyes and not looking away

He said he forgave me for cheating on him and betraying him so many times.

He loved me like that and hugged me when he was near me.

I wasn’t lying when I said I was happy. I truly felt that I loved this person.

And yet I still find myself thinking about Fumi. I want to forget, I have to forget.

Kotone is also shocked. He used Kotone to hurt Fumi, and he can see through how hurt he is.

And yet…the eyes that looked at me were still the same loving and gentle eyes.

“Hehe… That’s quite a roundabout way of asking, isn’t it?”

He said, grinning, and then he pulled me to him and kissed me.

The moment our lips touched, my head became even more confused, and when I thrust my arms out to push Kotone away, a sexy voice shook my eardrums.

“Hmm… you’re pretty bold…”

It feels soft and rounded in the palm of your hand.

When I dropped my gaze, I saw that my hands had scooped up Kotone’s br3asts and were grabbing them.

…….
“Tch, it’s not that! I didn’t do it on purpose! I’m sorry!”

I tried to explain to Kotone, who was covering her mouth and acting shy like a young girl, but for some reason, she was laughing when she saw how flustered I was.

It looks like so much fun.

I was completely astonished at myself. I wonder how many times Kotone has helped me.

I wonder why Kotone loves me so much.

Why can’t I just love Kotone?

“I love you, Kotonoha.”

Your smiling face is too dazzling for me.

Stop it. Don’t be happy. Don’t be happy.

I have no right to be happy or to be loved.

Even though I tell myself it’s no good, my heart won’t listen to me.

I was so happy I could jump for joy, but at the same time in pain, I ended up crying like a baby.

“There there… hehe… you’re such a crybaby…”

As Kotone embraces me and strokes my head, tears begin to flow like a dam has broken.

I know I shouldn’t be so dependent on him, but I can’t resist this sense of security.

I want to forget the sins I’ve committed and give myself over to her. I’m sure she’ll forgive me even though I’m like this. I’m sure she’ll love me for who I am, ugly and all.

That’s why I have to stand alone.

So that I can stand next to Kotone without feeling embarrassed.

“Hiiigh… It’s okay now. Thank you, Kotone.”

As I pulled away, I thanked him.

“Thank you. I enjoyed it.”

…What?

I won’t ask. I know it’s pointless to ask.

“I remember the first time we kissed. You were crying then too.”

“That’s right. After that, Kotone was crying too.”

“A lot has happened, but… I’m happy. Kotonoha.”

“…Yeah. Me too.”

I felt it was wrong to apologize here.

As I told Kotone my honest feelings and we smiled at each other, my heart became calm like a lake bathed in soft sunlight. I think I will spend the rest of my life with this person. If others heard me say this, they would probably laugh at me as a childish romance. But that’s what I thought.

I ended up having to be comforted for a long time, but it helped me calm down a little.

We can converse, and for some reason Fumie, who had been crying along with us, has stopped crying.

I can’t ignore her forever. I sit down on the floor and look Fumie, who is clinging to my feet, in the eye as I speak to her.

“I’m sorry, Fumie. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I like you.”

Don’t lie about your feelings, tell them all honestly.

Kotone believes in me and watches over me.

“Me too… I’m sorry for saying I was going to die… *sniff* I’m in pleasure… I like it too… I love it…”

“But… I like Kotone more than Fumi. So I can’t be your lover. Shall we go back to being friends?”

Because I love it, I have to end it.

Even Fumie will find someone she likes someday. Because she has the ability to fall in love with someone. It would be wonderful if we could laugh together and say, “That happened in the old days.”

I don’t want to cut ties with Fumie. I want to be with her as a childhood friend and as a friend.

“Sniff… No… I want a lover… I don’t want to be just friends…”

“…Which do you prefer, to go back to being friends or to break up?”

“I don’t want either! I want to be your lover! Why are you being so mean? I will never break off our friendship! I will never go back to being friends!”

“Fumi… don’t make things too difficult…”

Sentences that make someone upset are not so easy to understand…

They say you can’t win against a crying child or a clever person, but it’s tough work…

“Koto said she likes me too! Kawasaki-san also said he wanted to kiss me! Why can’t I do that!?”

I guess they think I’m weak and can’t bear to lose my sentences.

If I can prove that I can get through it with Kotone there, then I won’t have to kiss her.

“I swore I wouldn’t betray you. I won’t kiss anyone other than Kotone.”

“You’re a liar! I know it! You want to kiss me!”

I wish I had noticed it sooner.

It’s too late to tell her now. It doesn’t matter if she knows it’s a lie. Kotone knows it too.

“Kotonoha, you see… I am confident that I can captivate you. I am happy that you are faithful to me, but it would be humiliating to be chosen by society’s common sense and ethics. I want you to choose for me .”

Kotone, who had been watching quietly, suddenly interrupted the conversation, pointing at me.

To be shameless, I got annoyed because it hit a sensitive spot.

But I’m trying to be right too. Please don’t criticize my efforts.

Because I want to be someone I can be proud of, because I want to be by your side…

“…Kotone, what do you want to do with me?”

“Hehe… even your angry face is cute.”

He brushed away the hand that was extended to his cheek and stated decisively.

“Don’t mess with me. I’ll get really angry.”

“Hmm… I’m not kidding…”

This only made him more annoyed as Kotone pouted her lips to show her dissatisfaction.

Anyone would be angry if they were being made fun of when they were talking seriously. They may feel guilty, but they will get angry when they get angry. But that is a different story.

Kotone tends to get arrogant, so if you don’t scold her every now and then, she becomes uncontrollable.

“So?”

He crosses his arms and glares.

Seeing my attitude, he must have read the mood as he cleared his throat lightly, tightened his expression, and opened his mouth.

“You’re lying… No, there’s something you’re not telling me. A secret you’ll take to your grave, I think?”

I was sure Kotone knew everything about it anyway.

He really knew everything and told me to kiss Fumie.

…It pisses me off. He acts all smug like he knows everything about me.

“I’m trying to face you, but… do I seem that weak? Do I have to carry you on my back? Don’t you… trust me?”

“…Because I know you.”

She looked away from me and spoke in a sad, almost resigned voice.

I can’t believe it. It was as if they were implying that things would be a mess without Fumie.

It would be better if she suspected me of cheating again. My efforts were in vain, Kotone… she didn’t believe me.

*Snap* I heard the sound of something breaking inside me.

“Yeah… I don’t care what happens. Kotone said it was okay, right?”

“Oh, I won’t hesitate to ask .”

No matter what happens, you’ll be by my side.

The oath was meaningless.