The String of Balls -

Episode 9: Let’s Show It

“I was approached in the same way just recently…”

“Um… that’s…”

“Kawasaki-san, what do you mean…?”

“I’m sorry, Fumie, let’s just talk between Kotone and me.”

“Things…”

　I don’t know if he copied her after hearing about her successful experiences, or if Kotone planned it.

　Maybe everything I’ve said up until now was a lie… Even when Kotone said she liked me. Was it just a light-hearted attempt to tease me…?

　If that’s the case, then I…

“Were you…deciding me?”

“No! It’s a coincidence! I had no idea at first that my younger brother liked Hayama-san! He came to me for advice because we’re in the same class… but…”

　It’s not a lie, right?

　Yeah, that’s right… because, um… we had that kiss…

“When were you consulted?”

“…It’s been less than a week since I started school…”

　That’s a lie!　

　By “at first,” I mean just at the very beginning!? So you already knew when you met me!?

“What about junior high school?”

“My brother and I go to a different…private school…”

“What did you keep quiet about from me?”

“…I didn’t want you to suspect me…I’m sorry…”

　Hmm… I’m regretting it…

　It seems so true…I can’t believe that everything Kotone has said up until now has been a lie.

　I don’t want Fumie to ask me if he likes me, so maybe I’ll ask him later.

“What else are you hiding?”

“……do not have”

　What was that all that time…his eyes were wandering…there must be something going on.

　Well… I guess I’ll forgive him, it’s not like he’s planning anything bad or anything.

“Haa… I get it. That’s fine.”

“R-Really…? Kotonoha…!”

“Whoa! Don’t hold back! I’m not done talking yet!”

　I slapped his arm and shook him off.

　The suction power was weaker this time… Maybe he read the mood?

　That’s not the main topic here. It’s about Fumie and me.

“Fumi, I’ve digressed from the topic, but… It’s hard for me to be with you. Just hearing that you had a boyfriend was enough to put me at my wits’ end, and I’m not sure we can stay together in the future. So–“

“Not!!”

“Text…”

　Of course, I want to be with you too, but…

“I… I don’t understand that sort of thing yet, but… I don’t want to be separated from Koto!”

　Not yet…? That’s what you mean…huh?

　No… Eh? Indeed, I’ve never heard of anyone ever floating around before…

　You used to get together with your friends and talk about love, right? Even in middle school…huh?

“Ummm… Fumi…?”

“Kotonoha!”

　Ignoring the pervert beside him, he asked the question directly.

　Does that mean… you don’t understand romantic feelings? Or homosexuality?

“Um… can I… kiss you? Isn’t that weird?”

“It’s not weird! Did you want to kiss me? You should have said so! Why are you saying you’re leaving?”

　Eh…ah…what?

　So… I don’t have to give up, okay?

　What was the point of worrying about it for years…? Was it all for nothing? If I’d just confessed honestly from the beginning, maybe he would have accepted it.　

“That scum… can’t even seduce one woman properly… tch!”

“Kotone? I can hear you.”

　He has such a foul mouth…

　I can’t believe it’s the same person. Where is Kotone who ran over to comfort me?

“Koto… well, do you not like being with me?”

“Kotonoha, don’t be fooled.”

　The noise from the pervert next to me is so annoying!

“Kotone, just be quiet for a second. Got it?

“You understand, don’t you? There’s a big gap between being able to kiss and wanting to kiss.”

　That’s… I don’t know why I would do that…

　It’s not that Fumie likes me and wants to kiss me…he just thinks he can do that much as a friend…

　…What am I hoping for? Having false hopes will only deepen the wounds.

“…I want to be with you too, Fumie.”

“Koto!”

“Kotonoha? You’re not the kind of lowly person who would openly cheat on your lover right in front of him, are you?”

　Fumie and Kotone have polar opposite expressions…Fumie has a bright and happy face, while Kotone has a sad, and gloomy face.

　I don’t want to say it, but I have to.

“I listened to you to the end… but… I’m sorry. I just can’t bear it.”

“What…? What does that mean…?”

“Kotonoha…”

　I can’t just cling to the answer I’d agonized over for so long, trying to take the bait that was dangled in front of me, something I don’t even know exists. I feel sorry for my past self.

　My relationship with Fumie has already changed. They say first love never comes to fruition, yeah.

　…This is good.

“We can’t be together anymore… in the mornings, after school, or on holidays. I’m sorry…”

　Even if things go back to normal, I’ll be a mess with joy and pain.

　I wondered if he was just making me go along with it, and if he found it disgusting.

　I’m not strong enough to endure that. There’s a limit to what love alone can overcome.

“No… no… I… I’ll do anything…”

“…Bye-bye.”

　I’m sorry for making you put up with my selfishness until the end.

　Thank you for being with me until now.

　I’m going home now. I can’t attend classes.

“Kotonoha… me too…”

“…I’m sorry, please leave me alone.”

　He only relies on Kotone when it’s convenient for him…how pathetic.

　But for now, I just want you to leave me alone.

　I don’t want to take my anger out on Kotone. I don’t want to be the only one who has to cry and cling to her for help after I hurt Fumi.

　The moment I put my hand on the door and put my strength into opening it, my hand was grabbed tightly.

“No… Koto, you’ll always be with me…”

“Fumi…let go.”

“What should I do? What can I do to get you to be with me? I’ll do anything… anything you want, I’ll do it for you…”

　I… wanted Fumie to tell me she loved me.

　I want to kiss you. I want to be naughty someday.

　I thought it would be nice if we could both feel that way, not just me.

“Let go.”

“Things…”

“Let go!!”

　He shook his hand with all his might and forcibly pulled Wen’s hand away.

　Glancing sideways at Moon, who had a stunned look on his face, he slowly opened the door.

“…I’m sorry.”

　Unable to look Fumie in the eye, the words he spat out drifted through the air and vanished into thin air.

　Moving my legs that felt heavy like lead, I somehow managed to step out into the hallway and close the door, when I heard a cry like that of a child having a tantrum echo from behind me.

　…It’s my fault. I made Moon cry because of me, because I fell in love with her.

“I’m sorry… Fumi… I’m sorry… uuh… sob… Fumia…”

　Even if I tried to walk away, my feet wouldn’t move any further.

　The crying voice echoed in my ears, pinning me to the spot. It dug a hole in my heart deeper than when Fumi told me she had a boyfriend. Every time the high-pitched voice rang out, my heart tightened and my breathing became heavy.

　That’s right… I damaged the sentence.

　Of course, it’s more painful to hurt others than to hurt yourself.

　In truth, I want to go and hug you right now. I want to be by your side until you stop crying. I want you to laugh next to me again. …Hehe, what a ploy… There’s no way I’m qualified to do that.

　Even though I had been holding it in, the moment I heard Fumie’s crying, tears started to overflow from the depths of my eyes. No matter how much I wiped them away, they wouldn’t stop. Even though I had cried until I was completely worn out.

　Text…Text…I’m sorry, I’m sorry…

　As I was curled up in front of the door and crying, I heard the door open loudly from behind me.

　Kotone, perhaps…

“Kotonoha, come here.”

“…Kotone…I…”

“It’s fine!”

　I was grabbed from behind and forcibly taken back to the empty classroom where Fumi was.

　I have no chance to face him now… What kind of face should I make now?

　Unable to lift my face, I was staring at the floor when a dull shock ran through me.

　Something heavy jumps onto me from the front, causing me to lose my balance and fall on my bottom.

“One…”

“Thud! Thud! Thud… Thud…”

　She presses her head against my chest, rubbing her body fluids and makeup onto me so much that it changes the color of her uniform.

　His arms were wrapped around my back and locked tightly, leaving me unable to move.

“Fumi…um…”

“No! Not! I won’t let you go! Don’t go anywhere!!”

　That’s…unfair.

“Even I… I didn’t want to leave you either! I wanted to be with you forever! But Fumie did it! It’s your fault! You got a boyfriend! It’s your fault for leaving me!”

“I told you we were going to break up! You were the one who ran away, weren’t you?! You worried about it on your own and decided on your own…but you never said anything to me! If you’re worried, you should have told me! I wouldn’t know unless you told me! I…I…!”

「I was worried because I couldn’t tell you! I couldn’t tell Fumi! So I am!」

“It’s not fair to be the only one to say what you want to say and then run away! I want to be with Koto!”

　As we were hurling words at each other, both of us covered in tears and snot, someone suddenly thrust a thin arm in front of me.

“You two, calm down.”

　After being interrupted, I calmed down a little and took a breath.

　I didn’t want to have a fight and break up, but I lost my temper. I was in the wrong, but I blamed Fumi… I…

　As I followed her arm and moved my gaze upwards, Kotone looked from one to the other with a complicated look on her face.

　It’s causing trouble even for Kotone, there’s nothing I can do.

“I have a brilliant idea that might prevent you two from breaking up… but if you want to fight and break up, I won’t stop you. It’s better for me that way… ha…”

　There’s no way I could believe a story like that…

　If that were the case, then this wouldn’t have happened…