A Love Longed for the Tiger Lily (GL) - Chapter 15
I woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed.
Stretching my curled-up body toward the ceiling, I took in a long breath of air.
Whenever I drink, I tend to sleep like the dead—and wake up feeling totally clear.
That’s my routine with alcohol.
But today, despite how good I should be feeling, there’s a lingering fog in my mind.
“…I messed up.”
Yeah. I totally blew it.
Asking Sayo that question was fine. That part went okay.
Everything after that—not okay.
It’s pathetic, but I got scared.
Scared to ask whether she really wasn’t that uncomfortable being touched by me.
Scared that if I was wrong and she said no, my pride would be shattered.
Maybe that fear is just part of being an adult.
And so, I turned to alcohol.
If I hadn’t had a drink, I probably would’ve just asked my question, gotten an answer, and gone to bed.
But instead, I went and made a huge, reckless claim:
“I’ll cure your fear of women.”
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
I tossed and turned under the covers, my thoughts spinning without direction.
The clock leaning against the wall read eight a.m.
It’s rare for me to wake up this early after drinking.
Then again, ever since Sayo moved in, I’ve gotten into the habit of waking up early on weekends too.
Our cat’s probably hungry by now—I need to make breakfast.
I peeled myself off the futon and dragged my heavy legs to the living room, one slow step at a time.
I’m the adult here.
I need to act like one.
When I opened the door, the lights were already on in the living room.
Just that alone made my heart thud faster, my breathing a little tight.
“Morning.”
“Good morning.”
I forced myself to put on my usual expression and spoke to her.
Sayo responded like nothing was out of the ordinary—which was both comforting and frustrating.
Am I the only one who’s this affected…?
Shaking the thought out of my head, I started preparing breakfast.
“Can I help with anything?”
Her voice startled me, and I flinched without meaning to.
She saw my reaction, and her expression clouded over.
I couldn’t help it. After everything that happened yesterday, there’s no way I could act normal.
“…Could you wipe the table, and get the cups, chopsticks, and tea?”
I had no idea how she was feeling, but I couldn’t ignore her offer to help.
I handed her a dish cloth, and her expression eased just a little—returning to her usual, unreadable face.
“Itadakimasu.”
The morning was so painfully normal, I began to wonder if everything that happened yesterday had just been a dream.
Maybe I drank too much and imagined it?
No… I only had one highball. That wouldn’t be enough to make me hallucinate.
The memory kept circling in my mind, refusing to leave.
“You said you’d cure it. So… how, exactly?”
“Cough, cough!”
I choked on my warm milk.
Why was she asking something so serious with such a deadpan face?
I scrambled to regain my composure—how uncool.
I grabbed my fleeing calm and dragged it back to the table.
“…I mean, the quickest solution would probably be s3x, right?”
“You’re the worst.”
Yeah. That was truly the worst.
What kind of adult says that to a high schooler?
I’ll just blame it on my half-awake brain.
“Okay, jokes aside, I think the only way is to gradually get you used to being around me.
Like… maybe once a day, we set a time where I sit close to you, just so you can get used to it?”
“…”
She didn’t say “yes,” but she didn’t say “no,” either.
So I took it as a maybe.
Is this really okay?
Is this the right way?
I don’t know what the right answer is.
But I do know I have to figure it out alongside her—step by step.
Even though it’s my day off, I can’t relax.
I put those unanswerable thoughts aside and tried to shift the mood with some casual conversation.
“So, what’s the plan for today?”
“Studying for exams.”
Right… she’s in the middle of entrance exam season.
She’s using my room, but I don’t think there’s a proper desk in there.
“There’s no desk in that room, right?
You haven’t been able to study properly, have you?
Sorry. Want to go shopping for one sometime?”
“I’m not going to be here long enough for that. It’s fine.”
“…Right.”
She’ll be gone by the end of September.
I understood why she’d say that.
And I wasn’t meddlesome enough to insist on buying one anyway.
Not wanting to think about anything anymore, I stepped out onto the balcony.
It’s filled with the flowers that bring me peace.
There’s even a chair out here, so I sat down and stared at them for a while.
In summer, many flowers need daily watering.
But if you water them too much, even in summer, some will wilt.
The balance is tricky.
…Maybe taking care of Sayo is kind of like that too.
She lets her guard down when I spoil her…
Then bares her fangs the next moment.
But if I stopped engaging with her entirely, I know the distance between us would only grow.
Mmm… this is hard.
Are relationships always this difficult?
No matter where I am, my head ends up full of thoughts about Sayo—and I’m getting sick of it.
The “cat” who claimed to be studying for exams kept glancing my way.
This had happened before—maybe she actually is interested in the flowers?
If she is, she should just say so.
But of course, she never tells me those kinds of things.
“Wanna come over here?”
At the sound of my voice, she looked startled, then promptly ignored me and plopped onto the sofa.
Since I was done watering and had nothing else to do, I decided to sit beside her.
If I could help her get used to having someone close, even a little, then maybe that was enough.
The moment I sat beside her, her shoulders gave a visible jolt.
“Still scared?”
“…I’m fine.”
Sayo’s eyes were fixed on the TV.
She never says what she really feels, so I can never tell what’s on her mind.
That’s why we so often misunderstand each other.
And it was in that same moment of miscommunication…
that I made the wrong move.
I gently reached out and took her hand.
It was smaller than mine, and I could feel the tension in it.
It reminded me of a frightened little animal—it was kind of cute.
“Stop it.”
She tried to pull away, so I quickly offered a reason not to let go.
“This is part of helping you get over it, remember?”
I smiled as I said it, but she shot me a sharp glare in response.
And yet, even angry, her beautiful features didn’t lose their shape.
She’s got the face of someone favored by the gods, I thought absurdly.
“…Pervert.”
“Seriously? This counts as perverted now?”
I smiled at her again—on purpose.
Yeah, it was immature of me.
But it was the only way I knew to keep the frightened little creature beside me from bolting.
The hand I held began to feel warmer and a little damp with sweat.
I started to worry she might find it gross—but I still didn’t want to let go.
Maybe she realized I wasn’t planning to release her,
because she stopped glaring at me and stared down at my hand instead.
…Looked like she’d given up.
Or so I thought—until she suddenly lifted my hand.
What is she—?
Before I could even finish the thought, I immediately regretted holding her hand.
She bit me.
Harder than last time.
“Ah—!”
I tried to pull away, but she grabbed my wrist, trapping me.
Her teeth dug in deeper, and the pain flared.
I yanked harder, trying to escape—but now her nails were digging into my arm.
The pain spread throughout my entire left hand, pulsing.
“It hurts… Let go…”
My voice came out low and strained from the pain.
Gradually, her grip loosened, and I was freed.
“You seriously bit me that hard? Are you stupid? And don’t dig your nails in. It really hurts.”
“I figured that’s the only way you’d let go.”
Sayo glared at me even more fiercely than before.
I was the one who should be glaring, honestly.
Even if it were my own pet cat, I’d be pissed if it did this.
But Sayo didn’t even give me a chance to be angry.
She stood up from the sofa, and her sudden movement shifted the cushion beneath me, making it harder for me to follow.
And just like that… I was left alone in the living room.
My left hand still throbbed with heat and pain.
I sat there, the air around me thick with uncertainty and sighs,
wondering how the hell we were supposed to keep living like this.