A Love Longed for the Tiger Lily (GL) - Chapter 19

Things are normal between Sayo and me today.

Nothing unusual is happening.

This month is quietly coming to an end, just like that.

At the beginning of summer, I was desperate for this whole arrangement to be over.
But now… I can’t deny it—I don’t want it to end.

I remember something Koharu said to me recently.

“Why don’t you just take care of her, Wakana?”

Honestly, it might not be such a bad idea to consider.
But I don’t have a reason to.
If I asked Sayo to stay here without one, she wouldn’t agree.
She’d just look at me and say no.

Even though I’ve spent more time with her, I feel like I understand her less than ever.
I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do at this point.

And I said I’d help her get over her fear of women…
but all I did was touch her awkwardly.
I haven’t solved anything, and it’s eating away at me.

If Sayo goes back to her family’s house, we’ll hardly see each other anymore.
And if that happens, she’ll leave without having changed—without me having helped her at all.

I need a reason.
Something that justifies staying by her side.

But the truth is—I don’t even know why I want to stay with her so badly.
She doesn’t like me.
If I keep clinging to her, it’ll only make her hate me more.

I curled up in my warm bed, questioning myself over and over.

Today and tomorrow will probably be the last holidays I spend with Sayo.
Not that I have anything planned.

Still… I regret not doing anything fun for her since she came here.

“Maybe we should go out and do something… just for a change.”

I grabbed my phone and started scrolling for ideas.
Shopping was the obvious choice—but it felt a little too dull.

As I squinted at the bright screen with sleepy eyes, I found the perfect spot.

And just like that, my mind was made up.

I jumped out of bed and hurried to the living room.

“…Good morning,” she greeted me, her voice flat—neither cheerful nor annoyed.

But I smiled and responded in the brightest tone I could manage.

“Sayo, let’s go to a hot spring!”

“…Huh?”

※ ※ ※

I drove us toward a well-known hot spring resort in the prefecture.

Just thinking about finally getting a chance to relax had my heart fluttering.

But unlike me, the girl in the passenger seat looked like she had a storm cloud hanging over her.

It had taken nearly an hour to convince her.
In the end, I got tired of waiting and dragged her out the door.

She still looked unconvinced.

“Taniguchi-san, why a hot spring?”

“Because I want to relax.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to just stay home and rest?”

“Hot springs are better for that, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know…”

“You’re so young.”

“You’re not that much older than me…”

“There’s a seven-year difference.”

And just like that, the conversation died.

I glanced at her while driving.
She looked a little upset.
Did I say something wrong?

When we got out of the car, the familiar scent of sulfur hit me.

We’d arrived at the hot springs.

“Sayo, give me your hand.”

“Why?”

“Let’s hold hands.”

I said it hoping that, in our limited time left, even a little bit of physical contact might help her get used to it.

“This makes no sense.”

“You need to get used to this kind of thing, right?”

“But I won’t be seeing you anymore, Taniguchi-san.”

As soon as I heard her say that, I felt a tight squeeze in my chest.
It wasn’t like I’d forgotten—Sayo is only staying until the end of the month.
But still, a part of me kept hoping… hoping she might just stay forever.

“All the more reason to do this now. Come on—give me your hand.”

Maybe it’s not right, doing something like this with a cousin much younger than me.
But this is supposed to be practice for her, right?

So… that makes it okay. Doesn’t it?

Why do I want to touch her so badly?

At first, I thought it was just the loneliness after breaking up with my girlfriend.
That maybe I was just craving human warmth.

But it’s not that.

There are plenty of ways to meet new people these days.
If I just wanted to fill that empty space, I could do it easily.

But no. I don’t want just anyone.

I want Sayo.

Here, beside me.

The truth is… I’m the worst.
I’m using her condition as an excuse just to touch her.

Sayo mumbled something under her breath and, just barely, reached out her hand.
Before she could change her mind, I grabbed it tightly.

“This is so confusing.”

“I know. I don’t understand it either.”

I slid my fingers between hers—her soft, pale fingers.

She tried to pull away, but I held on tighter.

“Don’t hold my hand like that. It’s weird.”

“What’s so weird about it?”

I looked at her like I was doing nothing unusual.

She pouted in silence and didn’t say another word.
But she didn’t pull away.
She just walked beside me.

And somehow… that was enough to make me feel at ease.

The summer heat had finally started to ease up, but it was still warm enough to make our hands sweaty.

Was she disgusted?
Was she grossed out?

I was the one who asked to hold hands—so why was I so nervous?

As we walked through the town, I noticed Sayo staring at a store.

The sign was covered in photos of cute cats.

“Do you want to go to the cat café?”

“No. I don’t.”

She answered right away and started walking again—even though she didn’t really know where she was going.

She said she didn’t want to go, but I could’ve sworn her eyes lit up just a little when she looked at the shop.

“Do you like cats, Sayo?”

“They’re okay.”

“Then let’s go.”

“What?”

Sayo never tells the truth, so I still don’t know if she really likes cats.
Maybe she’ll enjoy it, maybe she won’t.
But we won’t know unless we try.

I’m glad I was holding her hand.

Without giving her a chance to resist, I tugged her inside.

The place was packed with cats—so many that walking around was tricky.
Some were friendly and came right up to us, while others darted away the moment you got close.
A few only approached if you were holding snacks—classic opportunists.

At some point, our hands must’ve slipped apart,
but when I looked over, Sayo was completely absorbed in the cats.
I was glad I brought her, even if I had to force it a little.

From a bit of distance, I watched her.
She reached out to pet a cat, only for it to run off.
Then another cat approached her, and she flinched in surprise.
It was like watching two cats playing together.

Eventually, Sayo seemed to settle into a spot of her own.
A few cats wandered over to her, and she began quietly playing with them.

I walked over and sat nearby.

“Are they cute?”

“…Yes.”

Her voice sounded annoyed when she answered me,
but her hands, gently stroking the cat curled up on her lap, were calm.
Her expression was soft—kind.

It surprised me, seeing that side of her.

Just as I was quietly admiring it, our eyes met.

“Do you like cats, Taniguchi-san?”

The sudden question made my heart jump.
I wasn’t expecting it.

If I had to answer, I’d say I feel neutral.
But if being with the cats made Sayo even a little bit happy,
then maybe I do like them—because of that.

Still, I didn’t want to sound weird,
so I covered up with a joke like I always do.

“Maybe I like them because they’re kind of like you.”

It was a corny line, and I cringed at myself.
Worried I’d creeped her out, I glanced at her—
but her cheeks were just a tiny bit pink.

“You probably say stuff like that to everyone.”

“No way. But seriously—when you first came to my place, you looked just like a stray cat.”

I chuckled, remembering it clearly,
but Sayo’s expression darkened with a pout.

I must’ve annoyed her again.

“Wait… did you take me in because you thought I was a cat or something?”

I wanted to say “yeah” without hesitation,
but I knew it would only make her mood worse.
So I just stayed quiet.

“Do you like cats, Sayo?”

“…Probably. I think I do.”

So she does like cats.
That’s one of the very few things I’ve figured out about her during these past few months living together.

Sayo likes cats and fried rice.
She doesn’t like women.

That’s about all I know about what she likes and doesn’t.

She looked like she didn’t want to leave the cats just yet,
so I leaned back against the wall and watched her quietly,
until I drifted off without realizing.

“…guchi-san… Taniguchi-san!”

I woke up to Sayo shaking my shoulder.

“Don’t fall asleep in a place like this.”

I opened my eyes and looked around.
We were surrounded by cats, sprawled out lazily across the floor.

“Sorry. You’ve had enough?”

“Yes. I’m satisfied now.”

“Okay, let’s go then.”

I reached out for her hand again—
but just like that cat from earlier,
she slipped away before I could catch her.

“I won’t let you catch me again.”

And just like that, Sayo walked briskly out of the shop.

The hand that had just been petting cats…
was a little bit colder now.