A Love Longed for the Tiger Lily (GL) - Chapter 20

—Tomorrow is the last day.

I’ve known that for a while now, but the thought of this life—one I’ve come to like more than I expected—coming to an end tomorrow…
It makes me feel something I didn’t want to admit.

And on top of that, my issue with being around women still isn’t fixed.
I’ve gotten a little more used to being touched by Taniguchi-san, but to say I’ve been “cured” would be a stretch.

Still… I think it’s been a good start.

Even if it’s slow, I want to keep trying—
To open up more, to heal, even just a little.

But with so little time left, Taniguchi-san suddenly announces a hot spring trip.
I didn’t even get a chance to refuse.
Before I knew it, I was in the car.

Honestly, that’s practically kidnapping.

And then she holds my hand without asking.
Takes me to a cat café without warning.
Her unpredictable actions always throw my heart off balance.

Yet… watching her sleep soundly, surrounded by cats—
I found myself thinking, Maybe it’s okay to be dragged along like this.

It was such a ridiculous thought, I almost laughed at myself.

“She’d be beautiful if she’d just keep her mouth shut…”

I reached out to gently touch her cheek—
but pulled my hand back at the last second.
I got scared.

When she’s awake, I somehow manage to act braver than I am,
but when she’s asleep, I feel like a coward.

Maybe it’s because I’m immature.
Maybe it’s because I’m easily swayed by her words.
Or maybe it’s because, in her own way, she’s been helping me all along.

I couldn’t let her keep sleeping in the café.
It’d be rude to the staff.

When I woke her up and we were leaving, she tried to grab my hand again—
but this time, I dodged her like one of the cats from earlier.

She always manages to catch me off guard with her words,
so just once, I wanted to be the one who slipped away.

Her face looked genuinely disappointed…
and I couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied by that.

“This is where we’re staying tonight.”

The place she led me to was a fairly famous hot spring inn.

“What about the cost…?”

“You don’t need to worry about it. This is my selfish plan, so just enjoy it.”

“I feel bad…”

“Then let yourself lean on me a little.
And if you really feel bad—hold my hand?”

There she goes again.
Touching hands is supposed to be part of my therapy.

But if she’s paying for the entire trip too, it feels like I’m just taking and taking.
I don’t like that.

“There’s no reason to hold hands inside the inn.”

“Then pay me back when you’re rich someday.”

She gave me a smile and walked away toward the front desk.
I made a silent promise:
When I start working and saving money, I’ll pay her back.

I want to grow up. I want to be independent.
That thought lit a little fire inside me.

While she was checking in, I looked around.

Have I ever even been to a hot spring before?
This might actually be my first time.

Everything I saw felt unfamiliar,
but also… kind of exciting.

“Let’s go to the room.”

She led me there, and when we arrived, my eyes widened.

It looked just like something out of a TV drama.
Traditional yet cozy.

I’d never stayed at a place like this before.
It threw me off a little.

Maybe she noticed me glancing around nervously,
because she gave a gentle smile and said:

“Dinner will be here soon. Let’s relax until then.”

She poured us some tea and I sat down on the tatami.
And then… she moved next to me and sat way too close.

“Sit on one of the cushions, will you?”

“But I wanna sit next to you.”

She could’ve just sat across from me.
We’d still be close enough to talk.

I was already on edge just being near her, and now she was making it worse.
And she sat there like a statue—completely unbothered.

The room had a traditional Japanese style,
but instead of futons, there were beds.

A little farther in was a door to the open-air bath.
Through the window, you could see it—quiet and beautiful.

“It’s kind of weird seeing a bed in a room like this.”

“Places like this do it a lot now.”

“You’ve gone on a lot of hot spring trips?”

“…Yeah.”

Something pricked at my chest.
She probably came here with her ex-girlfriend.

“Did you bring me here just to forget your ex?”

I didn’t even know why I asked.
It was none of my business.
But the words came out before I could stop them.

Her face clouded over instantly.
I regretted it the moment I saw her expression.

I must’ve touched something fragile—
a part of her she wasn’t ready to face again.

I tried to apologize, but she gently stopped me.

“It’s not like that. I wanted to come with you, Sayo.”

“Why…?”

“Because ever since you came to my place,
I felt like I haven’t done anything for you.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Taniguchi-san has always gone out of her way to be kind to me.
And I’ve been the one pushing her away.

She’s brought me all the way to this amazing place—
and even now, I’m still just taking from her.

I want to give something back.

“Taniguchi-san… I don’t want to be the one always receiving.
Is there anything I can do for you?”

I didn’t want to owe her forever.

“Then… kiss me.”

“…What?”

Her request caught me completely off guard.
My reaction came out sharper than I meant.

But she didn’t seem bothered in the slightest.

“Okay, then at least sleep in the same bed with me tonight.”

I stared at her, confused and suspicious.
She just smiled and reached out to gently pat my head.

I flinched without meaning to,
and she quickly pulled her hand back, looking apologetic.

“I just want to help you. But I won’t force anything.”

Her unexpected words and actions always throw me off.
I know she’s trying to help…
But I’m not good at dealing with emotions like that.
I’m not ready to accept it so easily.
And most of all, I’m still scared.

“Dinner is ready. May I bring it in?”

Saved by the perfect timing.
A hotel staff member entered and started setting the table.

The conversation with Taniguchi-san faded into the background,
as the sight of the beautiful dishes pulled all my attention.

Today has been full of surprises.

“How is it? Pretty amazing, right?”

Taniguchi-san said that with a proud look on her face,
even though she didn’t make any of the food herself.

I ignored her and took a bite.

All of it was sparkling, elegant food—
the kind I’d never really eaten before.
Flavors bloomed in my mouth in ways I never would’ve expected just from looking at them.

It really was delicious… but still…

“It’s really good… but for today, I kind of wanted to eat your cooking, Taniguchi-san…”

I glanced up, trying not to make eye contact.

Her eyes widened in surprise.
Then she smiled softly, her expression melting into something kind and gentle.

As soon as I saw her face, I realized how embarrassing my words were.
If I could rewind a few minutes and erase what I said, I would.
I couldn’t even look at her anymore.
And of course, at times like this, she never says anything to make it easier.

We quietly continued eating dinner, wrapped in that awkward atmosphere.

After the meal, we headed to the highlight of the day—the hot spring.

It wasn’t until we were halfway there that I realized something major:

I’d be going into the hot spring… with Taniguchi-san?

“I’ll wait in the room. You can go in first.”

“Why? Come on, let’s go in together!”

“No thanks.”

“Aww, are you shy at your age?”

She laughed and covered her mouth, clearly teasing me.

Right. What was I even saying?

It’s not like there’s anything weird about going into a hot spring together.
As long as I wrap a towel around myself, it’s not that big of a deal…
Right?

I decided to just go in.

“This hot spring is amazing,” she said.

“Yes… it is.”

I focused on washing myself and avoided looking in her direction.

Even though I tried to keep some distance, she wandered right over to me anyway.

“The water feels so nice, doesn’t it?”

“…Why did you want to come to the hot spring today?”

“Because hot springs help you relax, and they’re good for relieving stress.
You always look so tense, Sayo.
I thought maybe this could help you feel a little better.”

Her cheeks were flushed from the heat.
Her hair was wrapped in a towel, and the elegant curve of her neck was exposed.

There was something about her—calm, graceful, even a little sensual.
My gaze dropped before I could stop it.

As soon as I realized what I’d done, guilt surged through me, and my heart started pounding so loudly it echoed in my head.

“Stop staring, you perv.”

“I wasn’t! It’s just hot, so I’m getting out.”

She halfheartedly tried to cover herself with her hand,
but it didn’t seem like she was actually trying to hide anything.

I hated where my thoughts were going,
so I hurried out of the bath.

Even though I had a towel wrapped tightly around me,
the idea that she might’ve seen me made my body burn with embarrassment.

After I got out, I tried putting on a yukata, but I fumbled with it.
I’d never worn one before.

Taniguchi-san came out of the bath and watched me struggle.

“Want me to help you put it on?”

It was humiliating not even being able to dress myself,
but being half-naked was worse.
So I reluctantly nodded.

Her arms wrapped around me as she helped with the yukata.
The closeness made my heartbeat spike again.

Maybe it was from the heat of the bath,
but I felt lightheaded, overwhelmed.
I wanted the moment to end quickly.

Even though I was still wearing underwear,
just knowing she was seeing this much of me made my whole body feel like it was on fire.

“All done. You wear cute underwear, huh.”

She gave me a sweet smile.
If she hadn’t said that, I might’ve actually thanked her.

As my body temperature rose, my mood took a nosedive.

“You’re the worst. Total pervert. Idiot.”

“Wow, harsh.”

No matter how cold I was being, she looked happy.

She was probably just a pervert who enjoyed being insulted.

If I kept talking to her, she’d completely mess with my rhythm again.

It was still early, but I decided to get ready for bed.
If I was asleep, I wouldn’t have to deal with her.

“Which bed do you want, Taniguchi-san?”

“Which one do you want?”

“Either’s fine.”

“Okay, then I’ll take this one.”

I crawled into the opposite bed from the one she pointed to.

She turned off the lights, tossed the remote on a chair,
and then—without hesitation—climbed into my bed.

“What are you doing…?”

“You said we could sleep together, remember?”

“I didn’t say that.
And my heart’s going to explode if you stay here,
so go sleep in the other bed.”

“But it’s just for tonight… please?”

Her voice turned soft, almost pleading.

She’s definitely used to relying on people like this.
And I hated the idea of playing right into that.

“No.”

“Please?”

She grabbed my wrist gently.

Her hand should’ve felt firm… but it didn’t.
It was trembling a little.

Maybe I need to get stronger at resisting people like her.

“…Fine.”

“Really?”

“You’re going to ruin all the warmth I got from the hot spring.”

She slipped in beside me, quietly.
My heart pounded. My breathing turned shaky.

Maybe she noticed, because she didn’t move any closer—
she just lightly poked my back with her finger.

“Sayo, I promise I won’t do anything weird. Just turn around?”

“…Why?”

“I have something important to say.”

Something important?

Curious despite myself, I turned to face her.
As soon as I did, she grabbed my hand tightly.

Her grip only grew stronger,
and my heartbeat kept racing with it.

“You said you wouldn’t do anything weird…”

“This isn’t weird. Just listen, okay?”

Her hand was trembling slightly.

If I ignored her now, I’d feel like the bad guy.
So I stayed quiet.

Her eyes were fixed on mine—so honest, so deep and brown, I could almost fall into them.

She took a deep breath.

“Sayo, stay with me until you’re no longer afraid of women.”

“…Huh?”

What… did she just say?

“Let’s keep living together.”

My heart pounded harder.

Warmth started to slowly spread through my chest.

Could I really go back to her house?

Would I really not be a burden?

She said “until I’m better”—but I don’t even know how long that’ll take.
Or if I’ll ever get better.

“Wouldn’t I just be in the way?
What if you meet someone and want to bring them home…”

If that ever happened, I’d have to leave—
But I couldn’t help hoping she’d pick another option.
That maybe… I wouldn’t have to leave at all.

“I won’t get a girlfriend until you’re better.
But in return—you have to promise to keep trying, okay?”

She tightened her grip on my hand.

I looked up at her again, and she was smiling.

Something inside me finally felt safe.

“You’re not in the way.
I’m just taking responsibility for what I said.
So you don’t need to worry about anything.”

She gently pulled me into her arms.

I should’ve hated it.
I should’ve wanted to run.

But it felt… comforting.

I grabbed the fabric near her shoulder and held on tight.

“Can I really keep coming back to your place… from now on?”

I looked up at her and asked, my voice shaking.
I hated that it trembled, so I gripped her shirt even harder.

“Yeah. Come home, Sayo.”

She stroked my hair gently.

Knowing I had a place to return to—even just for now— filled my heart with warmth.

Even if it was only until I was “better,”
the fact that I had somewhere to belong… that was enough for me.

And most of all— the fact that she said she’d take responsibility and help me heal…

That made me happier than anything.

Even though I was wrapped in her arms—unable to escape, unable to resist— I didn’t hate it.

That night, I fell asleep in her warmth.