A Love Longed for the Tiger Lily (GL) - Chapter 8

A cute package adorned with floral patterns was handed to me.

“What’s this?”

“It’s your lunch, Sayo.”

“I didn’t ask for this.”

“If you don’t want it, feel free to throw it away.”

“Why…?”

“Is today one of those days when I’m allowed to talk too much?”

The woman in front of me gave a sly smile as she asked.

Right. I’m the one who told her not to speak unnecessarily. And yet, when she wants to know something, she just goes ahead and asks. It’s unfair, really.

I knew I was being unreasonable. But seeing Taniguchi-san looking so smug made my mood sink to the floor of the house.

Somehow, I managed to peel my emotions off the floor and began getting ready for school, just like any other day.

“I’m heading out.”

In the end, I spent the morning with a furrowed brow—from breakfast through getting ready. In contrast, Taniguchi-san had tension in her cheeks and a cheerful expression on her face.

As I walked the usual route to school, a voice called out from behind me. Hearing it brought a sense of relief.

“Good morning, Sayo! Another week starts, huh?”

“Good morning, Kaede.”

Walking beside me was a girl with long, straight, light-brown hair—likely a violation of the school rules.

She was Akizuki Kaede, my childhood friend and the only girl I didn’t suffer gynophobia around.

Kaede was always there for me when life became so painful I wanted to disappear. No matter how many times I said, “Stay away,” or “Don’t get involved,” she stayed by my side with kindness.

Thanks to her, the fear and disgust I once felt toward her gradually disappeared. Now, she’s my irreplaceable childhood friend and only true confidant.

With Kaede, I feel no aversion to her as a girl. At first, I was scared, but now—even if she gets close—I don’t get anxious or feel unwell.

She’s the person I trust most, yet I can’t completely shake the fear that she might leave me one day.

“So, Sayo, how was your weekend?”

A lot happened.

But I could never tell her I went out with my cousin. Much less that we’re living together now. Kaede would ask questions, and I’d have to make up all kinds of excuses. It’s not like I wanted to live there, anyway.

“Nothing much, really.”

“I see. What did you do, Kaede?”

“Studied for entrance exams. Have you decided where you’re applying, Sayo?”

“Not yet…”

We’re both preparing for our college entrance exams in a few months. I wasn’t planning to attend university.

Since my mother raised me alone, I had intended to start working right after high school. But after she remarried, my stepfather—apparently quite wealthy—told me I could go to university if I wanted.

It’s not like I had a strong desire to attend university, but with no reason to start working and no dream job in mind, I figured I could use college as time to explore what interests me.

Whether I start working after high school or go to university, I know Mom’s not coming back to me…

That sad thought lingered as I sat through yet another mundane class in our unchanging classroom.

Even though we hadn’t done anything wrong, we students were forced to endure lessons in this sweltering heat. Despite the poor conditions, we were still expected to focus.

I envied the students sitting near the fan in the corner of the room. Unable to concentrate, I stared out the far window, wishing for a breeze.

I’ve had more days like this since Mom left—zoning out during class. Back when it was just the two of us, I studied seriously.

I believed I had to attend a school that didn’t cost money, and I thought I needed to start working right after graduation. Every day felt like a struggle.

It was hard, but when Mom was around, I felt more alive.

Now, I’ve lost my reason to go to school—my reason to try.

“Mom…”

“Igarashi-san!”

The teacher’s voice made me flinch.

I had spaced out during class and got scolded for it. Still, even after the reprimand, that fuzzy-headed feeling lingered in my mind. I didn’t plan to shake it—it helped the day pass more quickly.

After the long morning classes ended, lunch break came. Kaede came over and started eating with me.

“Sayo, you were spacing out again, weren’t you? Are you okay? If something’s bothering you, I’m here to talk.”

Even though I was the one who hadn’t been paying attention, Kaede showed me nothing but kindness. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her I was just unmotivated and mentally checked out.

“I’m Okay. Thank You.”

I pulled the cute, floral-patterned package from my school bag—the one Taniguchi-san gave me this morning.
I don’t like Taniguchi-san, but I do like eating, so I’ll eat it. That’s all.

But the moment I opened the lunch, I regretted it.

“…Did you make this yourself?”

Kaede’s reaction was completely justified.
I hadn’t prepared an answer at all, so I hesitated awkwardly.
I usually just buy something random for lunch, so it must’ve seemed strange to Kaede.

“…Someone made it for me.”

Saying that would obviously prompt more questions. The tension in me made my voice come out clumsy and unnatural. I regretted it even more.

“Hmm. Anyway, want to study together in the library after school?”

Kaede didn’t press further about the lunch, much to my relief. I nodded quickly to steer the conversation away and silently promised not to let it come up again.

As I talked with Kaede and gently untied the wrapping, I noticed a small note attached to the lunchbox.

“There are lots of vegetables, but for your health, make sure to eat it all.”

The handwriting was neat—surprisingly so, considering it came from Taniguchi-san.
Why is she, of all people, worrying about my health? It’s none of her business.

It annoyed me.
I didn’t want to admit that a small warmth had bloomed somewhere deep in my chest.

The small wooden lunchbox was packed with vegetable-based side dishes. The rice was brown rice—clearly a health-conscious choice.

Even though it had gone cold, the rice was still just as delicious as when freshly made.

It’s good.

Taniguchi-san’s cooking reminded me a little of my mother’s.
Not that it made me feel anything in particular… but I couldn’t deny that I was starting to look forward to mealtimes with her.

…

No, I’m not looking forward to eating with Taniguchi-san. I’m just looking forward to eating. That’s it.

I finished the entire lunch and wrapped up the empty box in the same cute furoshiki.
The note that had come with it—I tucked it secretly into my pencil case.

After school, as planned, I studied with Kaede, then headed back to Taniguchi-san’s house.

The lights were off; she wasn’t home yet.

The quiet, still house was somehow both calming and unsettling.

“Phew…”

I sank into the couch and stared straight at the blank, black TV screen.
I don’t know how long I sat like that, zoned out, but eventually I heard the front door open.

“I’m home! Sorry for being late. I’ll get dinner started right away.”

She came in wearing a flawless, wrinkle-free suit, even though she’d just returned from work. One arm carried large shopping bags.
Her face, compared to this morning, seemed a little more tired.

“…Is there anything I can help with?”

I couldn’t believe the words came from my mouth.

Taniguchi-san kept a smile on her face, but I knew. She had just come home from work.
She was going through far more than a student like me.
Someone like her cooking meals for me while I sat around doing nothing—that felt wrong.
I didn’t want to be the kind of person who turned a blind eye. I think I only spoke up because I didn’t want to feel like the bad guy.

Maybe she hadn’t expected me to say that. Taniguchi-san blinked a few times, looking surprised.

“Then… can I have you handle the cleanup afterward? For now, just take it easy.”

“…”

She was being considerate. She was kind.
But that kindness didn’t sit well with me.

As long as I’m living in this house, I want to have something to do.
Doing nothing makes time crawl—and I hate that.

“Ah—could you clean the bath and start the hot water?”

“…Yes.”

I wasn’t sure what made her suddenly ask for help, but she did.
I responded in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.

Even though there was no rush, I found myself heading to the bathroom in a light jog.
I scrubbed silently with the sponge, focusing on the task.

I didn’t like cleaning the bath, but I followed Taniguchi-san’s instructions and did it more thoroughly than usual.

For someone like me—just drifting through school and life—being trusted with even a simple task felt strangely rewarding.

When I finished and returned to the room, the once-empty table was now lined with a variety of dishes.

I sat down, brought my hands together, and quietly said, “Itadakimasu,” before taking a bite of the warm food.

“You washed the lunchbox, didn’t you? Thank you.”

She said it so casually.
But I hadn’t done anything that deserved thanks.
It was our unspoken deal—she cooks, I clean up.
If anything, I should’ve been the one saying thanks.

“…Thank you for the meal.”

Just saying something that simple made my heart pound. I hesitated.
Even now, saying basic human things was hard for me.
It made me feel like I truly wasn’t cut out for interacting with others.

“I’ll make lunch for you every day—”

The woman sitting across from me said it with a smile, looking genuinely happy.
She must’ve been exhausted from work. I didn’t want to add to her burden.

“That’s okay. I don’t want it to be a hassle.”

“Was it not good? Do you not want to eat it anymore?”

That way of asking was unfair.
Sure enough, she gave me that mischievous, bratty look again.

“I just don’t want to be a bother.”

“Then, if it’s not a bother for me, it’s okay, right? It’s really no trouble at all—making one or two lunches doesn’t make a difference. I’ve already prepped a bunch of side dishes over the weekend, anyway.”

She said it so easily, but I still hesitated.
Maybe because I didn’t answer right away, she continued.

“Then how about this—if I make lunch every day, will you talk to me normally?”

The mischievous look had disappeared. Her expression was serious now.

“…Why?”

I didn’t understand why she wanted to talk to me.
This life wouldn’t last forever. Eventually, we’d go back to being people who only saw each other occasionally.
So what’s the point in making small talk with me?

“Like I said before—I only know the Sayo from when you were little.
I want to know who you are now.”

Maybe it wasn’t that deep.
Maybe she just felt awkward having someone like me in her house and wanted to make it less uncomfortable.

Still…
Maybe it’s time I stopped hiding behind my fear of women.

If it’s with Taniguchi-san…

“…Okay.”

“Huh?”

“If it’s too much, you don’t have to.”

“No, no! I just… didn’t expect you to say yes!”

She looked genuinely surprised.

If I weren’t like this, she probably wouldn’t have to try so hard.
That’s why—little by little—I want to do what I can to make things easier for her.