After Being Watched by My Paranoid and Gloomy Deceased Wife - Chapter 20

Is it reasonable that my own hallucination isn’t on my side?

Forget it, since it’s a hallucination, what is and isn’t reasonable?

Right now, even if army ants battling a giant alligator appeared before me, it would be reasonable. Although I’ve never had mushroom poisoning, it doesn’t stop me from guessing what kind of fantastical visions I might have.

The shadow is different from me. It might be a projection of some inner thought or shadow of mine. The auditory hallucination’s voice is so beautiful, which further proves I’m craving beauty.

I have a rough understanding of psychology—

I’ve seen little psychological tips promoted by marketing accounts while scrolling on Douyin (TikTok). In the past, when I randomly borrowed books from the library, I blindly read a few psychology books, whose authority and reliability I’m unsure of, and I also have a friend who used to work in psychological counseling.

Rounding up, I am a Master of Psychology, and a Master’s thoughts cannot be wrong.

I pretended to accidentally glare at the shadow and saw the shadow stop curling its hair and watch me with its arms crossed.

Hiss, it feels a bit cold, no wonder Xi Rong is happy to live on the first floor, it’s fine even without turning on the air conditioner.

This natural breeze is so cool.

“Why are you just standing there?”

Xi Rong suddenly came closer, frowning with worry in her eyes. “Are you feeling unwell again? Don’t force yourself. If you need to see a doctor, just go. We’ll all go with you.”

A wisp of cool wind wrapped around my calves, moving upwards, like being entwined by a cold snake.

I repented for my lack of tact. I’ve learned my lesson; next time, I’ll definitely suppress my little temper.

Stiffly pulling the corners of my mouth, I pushed Xi Rong away with one hand and waved to Zhang Ruo’an, who was looking at me with concern.

“I’m fine, what could possibly be wrong with me? I was just spacing out. I’m going inside now, private area, no entry allowed.”

I quickly slipped inside the door, still hearing Xi Rong complaining to Zhang Ruo’an.

“She’s got this weird temper now. Ever since she woke up last time, her whole personality changed. She doesn’t want to go anywhere, stays cooped up in the room all day. With the curtains drawn, she’s practically growing mushrooms in there.”

“She found a job for a while, which was okay, but now she quit for some unknown reason, and she’s started again…”

Then I heard Zhang Ruo’an’s unique, gentle, and melancholic voice.

“It’s normal for Lulu not to like going out when she’s not feeling well. She used to stay in the dorm whenever she felt bad while in school, she insisted—” Zhang Ruo’an’s voice abruptly cut off.

Xi Rong sounded a little flustered, “Shh!”

Her voice was so loud that I heard it clearly inside. I didn’t know what Zhang Ruo’an said that warranted a ‘shh.’

Later, she added, as if trying to cover up, “She might be asleep. She must be tired today. Let’s not talk outside her door. Come on, let’s go to the living room.”

I know Xi Rong too well. There must be a problem with her suddenly saying this.

The cold wind, like an invisible snake, wrapped around my legs inch by inch, moving upwards. I was freezing, so I walked to the window and closed it, then checked the air conditioner.

There was no temperature display, so it shouldn’t be on.

So cold. I rubbed my hands and checked my forehead with my hand.

I don’t seem to have a fever, so why is it so cold?

Xi Rong thoughtfully placed a first-aid kit in the room for me, fully stocked with medicine for bruises, colds, fever, and flu.

I was a bit tired, so I took off my clothes and hung them upside down on the coat rack nearby, planning to go to the bathroom to wash my hands and then put on my pajamas.

My phone vibrated with a buzz. I took it out and saw I had new messages from three contacts.

[Xi Rong: Lulu, Ruo’an is staying here too recently, is that okay?]

No problem at all. What problem could there be? It’s not my house. Xi Rong can let whoever she wants stay. I don’t have that strong a sense of possessiveness.

The cold wind, like an invisible snake, was coldly and slimily climbing and wrapping upwards. Just as I turned on the faucet, a part of my memory belatedly returned.

I shouldn’t turn on the faucet!

As I was about to press the faucet switch, the transparent water had already turned into boiling bl00d.

See? The bathroom faucet seems to trigger my psychological suggestion, randomly popping up new horror hallucinations. This is more thrilling than playing a horror game.

I regretted it and reached out to turn it off, but a slender hand and half of an arm had already reached out from the basin full of bloody water, stopping my action.

It’s hard to compare whether one arm is more terrifying than a person completely molded from bloody water.

People can never avoid fear of the unknown, even though this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this scene.

The bloody water was boiling like lava, bubbling up and bursting, making peculiar ‘gurgle’ and ‘glug’ sounds in my ears.

Even stranger, these ‘gurgle’ and ‘glug’ sounds seemed like countless faint whispers.

Fear made my senses extremely sharp. I heard them say—

“Lulu.”

“I love Lulu.”

What the heck? Oh, excuse me, I’m just thinking nonsense, no offense intended, rest in peace.

I made a praying gesture in my heart, hoping It wouldn’t hold my minor transgression against me.

“Lulu, Lulu.”

Sister, it’s not appropriate to have an episode with such a seductive voice, really.

I covered one ear, but the sounds were still pervasive.

As the bubbles boiled, they densely drilled into my ears, as if whispering softly right next to me.

“Lulu can only be mine.”

“Mine! Mine! Lulu is not allowed to go near them!”

“Lulu, my beloved Lulu, you are mine, you can only belong to me.”

These words gave me more goosebumps than seeing the eerie scene. I swallowed hard and looked up at the mirror in a panic.

In the mirror was me, and a shadow as dark as thick ink, almost solidifying on the wall behind me. The shadow’s long hair billowed, and its slender fingers lightly lifted its hair. The figure in the mirror leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“I really want to eat Lulu, so we can be together forever and ever.”

“Lulu, Lulu… my Lulu.”

Faint, tiny sounds were dense and numerous, born with every swelling bubble, and reluctantly extinguished when they burst.

Auditory hallucinations to this extent mean I’m truly losing it. I stepped back, wanting to distance myself from the basin of bloody water, but the arm that grabbed me seemed to be pulled out, revealing the upper arm, and then the delicately defined shoulder and collarbone.

I inappropriately marveled at the hallucinated beauty, a fusion of horror, gore, and aesthetics.

The faucet was still ‘whooshing’ out a sweet-smelling, bloody stream of water. A head of seaweed-like long hair emerged from the small washbasin. It looked up at me, still the exquisitely beautiful face with hollow eye sockets.

At first, there was only the head, then It reached out with the other arm, propping itself on the edge of the basin, and incredibly, half of Its body, with a slender waist, emerged from the narrow water surface.

The dense, smooth, bloody long hair, like seaweed, covered the crucial area of Its chest, making the scene not inappropriate even if shown on all-ages television.

But I wasn’t wearing anything, which affected the terrifying artistic quality of the picture.

It leaned forward and embraced me. Its body temperature was icy cold, just like the climbing wind.

I dared not think. The hallucination seemed to be super-enhanced.

The cold wind, like a snake, wrapped around my chest, and the ink-like shadow in the mirror reached out to me.

The bloody beauty made of water in front of me also parted Its lips, silently calling out to me.

“Lulu.”

It was like a demon from hell, inviting me to fall into the abyss of pleasure.

Under the impact of a scene far beyond my cognition and tolerance, I actually regained my sanity amidst my uncontrollably shaking body.

Since I woke up from the car accident, I have always felt the world was a chaotic gray, with a constant haze hanging over my heart.

That heavy dark cloud didn’t dissipate as my body improved; instead, it tended to worsen.

Before the hallucinations started, I often woke up with a start from dreams, yet couldn’t remember what I dreamed, only feeling a tight oppression in my chest.

I woke up crying several times. It was Guan Lan’s constant attention, rushing over from her room to give me water and sleeping pills, that allowed me to get through that period.

This is also why I suspect I have mental health issues.

The bloody beauty approached me. The hollow eye sockets made me afraid to look too closely.

I turned my face away, wondering why I thought of Ai Jiaxin’s eyes at this moment.

The dark, overly deep pupils seemed to match this face better.

It placed a light kiss on my cheek.

I saw the vague bloody figure in the mirror, and the particularly noticeable bloody lip print on my cheek.

“Lulu.”

I heard Its voice, which first appeared in my brain, and then was transmitted to my ear canal.

My stomach churned, and I suddenly remembered the water I impulsively drank.

I should have known that not everything should be eaten or drunk casually. Now look? The hallucination has deepened.

It must be because drinking that water intensified my own psychological suggestion.

The ink-like shadow in the mirror also reached out a hand. It was just a black shadow, with no facial features, only an outline.

It emerged from the mirror, and the ink-like hair overlapped with the bloody figure. They merged into one and reached out to me.

I heard the wind say.

“Lulu.”

“I miss you so much.”

I felt a chill on my back. I didn’t know if I had been splashed with water, or if it was the wind, or perhaps I was sweating profusely out of fear.

“Lulu.”

Its hollow eye sockets stared at me. Because of the shadow’s addition, the bloody color was deeper, almost ink-red.

The voice came from inside my brain. I felt my breath grow cold and my limbs become numb.

“Don’t go.”

It looked down at me, yet it seemed like a devout believer kneeling in supplication.

I only felt absurdity.

“Don’t leave.”

The voice in my mind was almost bleeding with grief, mournful and lingering.

“Lulu.”

The voices layered one over another.

It seemed afraid that I would forget, repeating itself over and over.

“You must think of me, love me.”

The bloody beauty lowered Its head, holding my face.

I was speechless from excessive terror, and the hairs on my arms stood on end.

“You mustn’t forget me.”

Bloody tears flowed from Its hollow eye sockets, tugging at my heart. I couldn’t explain why I felt so sad.

It kissed my lips, but the voice in my mind didn’t stop.

“Lulu, Lulu…”

The voice that once seemed alluring was now desolate and despairing, like a person at the end of the road with no way out. It called my name repeatedly, the intense and heavy emotion almost drowning me.

“Don’t forget.”

“Love me.”

It reached out, trying to wipe away my tears. I didn’t know when I had started crying.

“Lulu, don’t cry.”

I heard the voice coming from inside my head, sorrowful and heartbroken.

“No more crying.”

“You mustn’t, mustn’t forget.”

The voice was mumbling in confusion.

“Forget, don’t forget.”

In the mirror, bloody droplets fell onto my face, merging into Its vague reflection in the mirror.

It was still the same voice. It suddenly became gentle and sad.

“Lulu, forget me, forget me.”

“Don’t remember me.”

My brain was tangled into a mess by these voices, and the needle-like pain blurred my vision with tears.

The headache made me too muddled to remember what I had just heard.

The bloody beauty closed Its eyes at this moment. With the eyelids covering them, It looked quiet and beautiful, like a statue carved from bl00d jade.

The chaotic and noisy voices in my mind suddenly disappeared. I saw Its bloody lips lightly part.

The mouth shape was easily recognizable.

“I love you.”

A tear escaped from my eye. I lowered my head and saw the tear dissolve into Its bloody body.

“Lulu.”

This time, the voice came from It above me.

The pitch was identical to the one in my mind.