After Being Watched by My Paranoid and Gloomy Deceased Wife - Chapter 25

“She wouldn’t have said that I was obsessed with you, loved you but couldn’t have you, and then turned to pursue her, would she?” Zhang Ruo’an’s tone carried a cold sarcasm.

Her guess was so accurate that I didn’t know how to respond.

Zhang Ruo’an looked at me, her anger slightly subsided. She pinched the bridge of her nose, her lips moved, and finally turned into a sigh.

“I apologize, I shouldn’t be so emotional.”

She looked into my eyes, her tone sincere, “I know Lu Lu doesn’t remember many things from the past…”

After a silent pause, she slightly pursed her lips. Through the transparent lenses, I saw the sadness filtered in her eyes, and my heart was suddenly touched.

“I’m sorry, I…”

I spoke, feeling a bit apologetic, as I truly couldn’t remember her.

Zhang Ruo’an, however, gently shook her head at me, comforting me, “It’s not Lu Lu’s fault. It’s probably for the best that you don’t remember.”

I frowned, feeling that they were hiding something from me.

But the most urgent matter was to clarify the origin of the misunderstanding between her and Guan Lan.

Zhang Ruo’an also noticed my confusion, and she proactively explained to me.

“Guan Lan and I… our first meeting was very unpleasant. It’s impossible for me to harbor such feelings for her.”

She emphasized to me, “It’s absolutely impossible!”

Perhaps their conflict was sown from the moment they met, I thought.

“As for how we met… my story with her is a long one.”

Zhang Ruo’an hesitated for a moment. I saw her lower her eyes, her expression heavy. Recalling the past seemed to cause her a lot of pain.

However, since Zhang Ruo’an mentioned it was a long story, could it be that they—

“It’s not what you’re thinking.”

Zhang Ruo’an frowned. She seemed eager to avoid such speculation.

“Guan… Guan Lan and I are essentially childhood friends. When I was in middle school, her mother passed away. Her biological mother brought her to Lishan and bought a house. It was from then that we had any interaction.”

Speaking up to this point, Zhang Ruo’an fell silent again. For her, every subsequent sentence seemed to require immense courage to utter.

“I don’t like her. After she arrived, she constantly used this to gain the attention of that person… but I couldn’t see how much she was genuinely grieving for her deceased mother.”

Ah? Which person? That sounds complicated.

I was a little confused. For someone who doesn’t understand their interpersonal relationships, this question is beyond my scope.

But seeing Zhang Ruo’an’s somewhat sad expression, I didn’t want to interrupt at this moment.

Fortunately, Zhang Ruo’an was willing to explain for me.

“Although there’s a two-year difference between me and her stepsister, because we grew up together, our relationship is very good.”

Given that my previous random thoughts were seen through, I chose to turn my brain into a blank sheet of paper, only receiving information and not making my own deductions.

However, Guan Lan has a stepsister?

I remember she’s an only child, and I’ve never heard her mention any other sisters… Could it be that they didn’t get along, so even though we’re close friends, she wasn’t willing to tell me?

Zhang Ruo’an glanced at me again. Her gaze was too insightful and transparent, as if my current thoughts were all seen by her. So, I chose to stop thinking and protect my brain’s privacy.

She very sincerely warned me again, “Lu Lu, Guan Lan is very good at disguising herself. I don’t want you to be hurt by her. Xi Rong and I… we wouldn’t possibly harm you.”

About this matter, I think I’m an adult.

Firstly, I have my own judgment. Secondly, if I truly misjudged someone, then I deserve it.

I recalled Guan Lan’s kindness to me in the past, feeling hesitant and guilty, because I was somewhat shaken by Zhang Ruo’an’s words, compounded by Xi Rong’s stance.

For a moment, I also wondered, if Guan Lan is so good to me, could she really have other motives?

The moment this thought arose, a dense sense of guilt overwhelmed me.

Without any evidence, how could I think this way about a friend who genuinely treats me well?

Guan Lan’s past thoughtfulness was not fake. If she really wanted to harm me, she could have done it many times already.

For Xi Rong and Zhang Ruo’an, this is where my stubbornness lies. I know this clearly, but I really don’t want to maliciously speculate about a close friend.

There must be some misunderstanding between them.

I avoided Zhang Ruo’an’s gaze and made myself focus on the Shadow again.

The Shadow moved a little closer to Zhang Ruo’an. I always felt like It also seemed very sad, complicated emotions turning into an impenetrable black shadow on the floor.

Huh? Is the Shadow a bit clearer than before?

I glanced at Zhang Ruo’an’s shadow and noticed that under the same light, her shadow was much lighter.

It seemed that she felt helpless about my silence. In my brief glance, I saw Zhang Ruo’an’s worried expression. She mumbled with her lips, seemingly wanting to say something to me, but was timid to speak.

“Lu Lu.” She seemed to have made up her mind, her brows knotted tightly, her eyes firm, and even her tone was extraordinarily solemn.

I blinked, unable to continue avoiding the topic, “Uh… I’m listening.”

I’m listening, go ahead. I silently thought in my mind, tell me why you two fell out.

Seeing my attitude, Zhang Ruo’an sighed wearily, making me feel quite unforgivable.

I felt guilty, but I didn’t change my mind.

“She’s not a normal person, Lu Lu.” Zhang Ruo’an held her forehead, seemingly organizing her thoughts to make herself sound more credible.

“Do you know?” she said to me, looking like a new topic was about to unfold.

She looked really hopeful that I knew something, but what could I possibly know? I only know how to eat; Xi Rong knows that very well.

I could only look back innocently.

Zhang Ruo’an’s heightened emotion clearly paused for a moment. Then she turned her face away from me, her smile bitter.

“I’m sorry, I forgot. Lu Lu no longer remembers these things.”

I heard her sigh and lament very softly again.

“That’s good.”

I didn’t think it was good. All my curiosity was piqued now, and she was still playing the riddle game.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. Before I completely lost it, Zhang Ruo’an continued to tell me Guan Lan’s story as she knew it.

“She likes her stepsister.”

I was momentarily confused, then I mentally tried to recall the laws, thinking, is this legal?

It’s not illegal, but it’s not strictly legal either. Marriage is impossible when there’s a familial relationship, even a stepsister.

Unless their mothers divorce, but that would be too great a sacrifice for their mother.

If there really was such a forbidden love, it’s normal that she wouldn’t tell me. But Guan Lan has been staying with me these past two years, so they didn’t succeed, did they?

The Shadow started fiddling with Its long hair again, the slender fingers turning and winding the hair, like my jumbled thoughts.

“Her stepsister doesn’t like her.”

Zhang Ruo’an glanced at me with an expression that was hard to describe, and continued to speak.

“Guan Lan’s stepsister had a crush, and later that person became her lover. She never had any thoughts about Guan Lan; everything was just Guan Lan’s unrequited affection.”

Oh, I see. No wonder I hadn’t heard Guan Lan mention having a stepsister. So, it was unrequited love.

Such things happening in reality, especially so close to me, is still a bit of a challenge to my acceptance level.

Forget it, my acceptance level is challenged daily, so let’s not dwell on this.

“Guan Lan never gave up her feelings for her stepsister, Lu Lu. She is not a normal person.” Zhang Ruo’an’s expression was very serious.

I quietly defended Guan Lan, “Well, she hasn’t done anything wrong, has she? Just liking someone, that’s both legally and morally acceptable—”

“She has.”

Zhang Ruo’an said decisively to me, “Lu Lu, her thinking is not normal. She studied psychology only to better disguise herself as a normal person. She was a lunatic from the start.”

“Guan Lan kept trying to sabotage the relationship between her stepsister and her stepsister’s lover, but she never succeeded. They are very much in love, and their relationship is excellent. And Guan…

And when her stepsister discovered that the stepsister she had always cared for and looked after had such intentions, she initially couldn’t bear to completely cut off contact, but she had already started to distance herself from Guan Lan to protect her lover and her love.”

“Because of her estrangement, Guan Lan became even more possessed and obsessive.

Later, some things happened. With the support of her lover, her stepsister decided to completely break free from that pathological family, and Guan Lan was helpless about it.

She is a despicable rat who should have stayed in the dark sewer, observing others’ happiness from afar.

Judging by what she did to her stepsister, Guan Lan doesn’t deserve any happiness.”

Zhang Ruo’an’s eyes were full of nostalgia. Her calm gaze made me wonder in my heart that the person must have been very good for a genius like Zhang Ruo’an to take a stance and speak so highly of her.

“I’m not deliberately speaking highly of her,” Zhang Ruo’an told me.

Her sharp intuition made me feel guilty, “Mhm, mhm, she must be a very good person.”

Well, based on what Zhang Ruo’an said, it’s normal for Guan Lan to like such a good person.

Adoring a dazzling person is a very normal thing in youth, and young people are prone to extremism. It’s okay as long as she’s not like that now, right?

Making some small to medium-sized mistakes in the ignorance of youth is forgivable. In this world, besides the death penalty, there are also life imprisonment and fixed-term imprisonment. If she hasn’t reached the level of murder and arson, how bad can she be?

My naive thought did not receive Zhang Ruo’an’s approval. She looked very helpless with me.

“Lu Lu, Guan Lan has never changed. She just got better at hiding herself.”

I seriously thought about it. For many things, we judge by action, not by intention. If we judge by intention, no one is perfect. As long as one can control oneself, that’s a very qualified adult.

You know, even among the mentally ill, most are just sick, not brainless. As long as they don’t pose a social danger, it’s quite acceptable.

With so much pressure in modern society, who doesn’t have a little something wrong?

Otherwise, I wouldn’t have to get up early to rush for an appointment and still fail to get one. Psychiatric appointments are in such high demand.

Based on what Zhang Ruo’an has told me so far, I can’t yet see what heinous mistakes Guan Lan has committed. Instead, Zhang Ruo’an’s words seem a bit too harsh.

“Lu Lu… I don’t know what to say to make you believe me, or to make you cautious of Guan Lan. For some reasons, it’s not convenient for me to tell you the details.”

“But I can tell you that when she was in school, to monopolize all of her stepsister’s attention, she scared and intimidated all of her stepsister’s friends, trying to make her stepsister only see her.”

“Later, she even sent threatening letters and bloody, violent messages to her stepsister’s lover, but that person was big-hearted… well, like Lu Lu, she treated it as a prank and didn’t believe it.”

I saw the Shadow put down the strand of hair It had twisted who knows how many times, and was surprised to find that the Shadow’s world could actually have a curling effect due to this motion.

This is too unscientific!

However, hallucinations should be based on my thoughts, so it’s quite scientific then.

Noticing my distraction, Zhang Ruo’an sighed again, making me feel deeply guilty. But in my impression, Guan Lan is not the kind of person who would do such things. She is so gentle even when she speaks…

“I was close to Guan… Guan Lan’s stepsister. She sent the same thing to me, and even put a skinned dead snake in my backpack, with a letter warning me to stay away from… her stepsister.”

“Otherwise, that snake would be my fate.”

I was a little taken aback, never having expected this to be the reason for Zhang Ruo’an and Guan Lan’s feud.

I wanted to plead for Guan Lan, but for such a malicious act, even I, who is tolerant of my friends, couldn’t defend her against my better judgment.

“That’s not the only thing Guan Lan has done. Once, she abused and killed… a frog in front of me.”

“Lu Lu, you cannot imagine her disregard for life, for moral and legal regulations. If it weren’t for the constraints of the law, she would probably have already laid hands on ordinary people.”

“She previously worked in psychological counseling. Although there’s no evidence, I suspect… were those patients really not messed with by her?”

Oh dear, we shouldn’t practice guilt by suspicion.

The phone buzzed. I glanced at it and saw it was a message from Guan Lan.

[Guan Lan: There’s a very good dish at today’s dinner party. I asked the chef for the recipe. I’ll make it for Lu Lu when I get back.]

Zhang Ruo’an’s words made me unsure how to face Guan Lan for a moment. My best friend (one of them) had committed such malicious acts in her youth. I…

[That’s too much work! Just rest well for a while when you get back.]

“Guan Lan sent you a message?” Zhang Ruo’an asked me.

I blinked at her, “Mhm… it’s her.”

It’s hard to describe my current mood. The last bit of wishful thinking was wondering, what if Zhang Ruo’an was lying to me? How could Guan Lan possibly do those things?

What if someone else framed her using Guan Lan’s name?

“It’s not someone else. Xi Rong also knows about this. She was also warned by Guan Lan because she was… Guan Lan’s stepsister’s friend.” Zhang Ruo’an ruthlessly shattered my wishful thinking.

Feeling awkward, I had to let out a few dry laughs, “Haha… so, that’s how you met. I, I didn’t know.”

The doubt in my heart made me secretly message Xi Rong on my phone.

[Rong Rong, is your relationship with Guan Lan so hostile because she scared you?]

Xi Rong wasn’t in a meeting at all, or perhaps she wasn’t paying attention to it, she replied instantly.

[Xi Rong: Zhang Ruo’an told you? Didn’t I tell her not to mention these things to you?]

[Xi Rong: These things happened a long time ago. It’s between us, Lu Lu. Don’t think too much about it. Your health is important. You absolutely, absolutely must not overthink. The doctor said the most important thing for you now is to relax and take care of your body.]

I looked up and saw Zhang Ruo’an’s hurt expression. She was too sensitive. She couldn’t be fooled about what I was doing by typing on my phone.

“I…”

“I’m sorry.”

A heaviness weighed on my heart. Xi Rong’s words repeated in my mind. Tears quickly filled and spilled from my eyes. The confusion made me unsure of how to react.

Everything Zhang Ruo’an said was true?

So Xi Rong has endured so much hardship? Why didn’t she tell me? If she had told me, what should I have done? What… what could I have done?

Guan Lan, how could Guan Lan be that kind of person?

She clearly… we even rescued stray puppies together. It was her who picked out the maggots growing in the rotting flesh one by one.

The colors on the scenes in my memory were overlaid with a different hue. The former seriousness suddenly seemed too cold. My mind was in a mess, and I looked at the Shadow for help.

Truly desperate, I actually subconsciously sought help from my own hallucination at a time like this.

Sensing that Zhang Ruo’an still wanted to say something, I shook my head at her in a daze, “I’m sorry, my mind is a bit messy right now.”

After saying that, I left the restaurant and returned to the bedroom alone, sitting blankly by the window.

A flower was blown in by the wind outside the window. I thought it was a coincidence. While staring at the flower, I saw another flower being blown by the wind, landing next to the previous one.

I followed the direction the flowers came from and vaguely heard someone say.

“Lu Lu, I am here.”