After Being Watched by My Paranoid and Gloomy Deceased Wife - Chapter 27

The voice was like a Siren from the deep sea, enchanting and beautiful, yet also like a lost traveler, desperately calling out for a separated companion in the darkness.

The auditory hallucination lasted for a while. The layers of overlapping sounds made my head feel tight. I covered my head because of the dizziness, and the bizarre sound quickly disappeared.

My phone was still receiving messages. The cold wind blew, making my lips feel cool and numb. Even the air I breathed in and out had dropped in temperature.

I tucked my feet up onto the chair, hugging my legs, trying to warm myself up.

It’s clearly summer, so why is it this cold?

The window was closed by me, yet the wind, coming from nowhere, still lingered around me.

I sat there, zoning out for a while, and remembered the shadow under the bed. I didn’t really want to go back to bed.

The soft quilt couldn’t warm the chill that arose from my uncertainty about people’s intentions.

Guan Lan, Zhang Ruo’an, whose words were true and whose were false?

If Zhang Ruo’an’s words were true, how much subjective judgment was there due to their different positions?

What about Guan Lan? Hiding one’s true self is not easy. I’m certainly not smart, but I can still perceive that she had some genuine affection for me.

Why did she lie to me about Zhang Ruo’an?

As for Xi Rong, I never doubt her.

In that car accident, if the transfer of injury truly exists in this world, she would rather suffer in my place.

When I groggily left the restaurant, Zhang Ruo’an gave me a brown envelope.

She said: ‘Lu Lu, no matter what, I should return this to you. This originally belonged to you.’

The cold air climbed along with the wind, from my calves to my waist, and then around my chest. There was a faint icy touch, like a hand stiffened by the deep snow of midwinter, deliberately touching something soft.

Finally, the chill traced down my spine, making me shiver.

This wind is too cold. Did I forget to turn off the air conditioner?

Then I picked up the remote control from the table and looked at the screen.

Nothing was displayed. I couldn’t hear the slight operational whir of the indoor unit.

The air conditioner was not on.

I took a deep breath and chose to pull down the hem of my clothes that had been lifted by the wind.

Forget it, I should see what Zhang Ruo’an gave me.

No matter how much I reflect on and review these matters right now, I won’t get a result.

Tearing open the brown paper file envelope, I only pulled out the document inside, and when I saw the bold, capitalized words at the top, I was stunned for a moment.

This was a property transfer and gift contract.

I don’t have a good memory, but I still remember that the one-room apartment I urgently sold was located in the community specified in the contract, down to the exact apartment number.

My phone was still “buzzing” noisily. I was originally going to look up the detailed address of that sold property, but I ended up unlocking it and clicking on the messages.

Even though I’m currently distressed by my interpersonal relationships, it’s impolite not to reply.

Although I don’t want to see messages from Guan Lan and Zhang Ruo’an for the time being, if I keep giving them the cold shoulder, Guan Lan will notice something is amiss, and Zhang Ruo’an… her melancholic eyes and brows appeared in my mind.

Sigh.

Fortunately, the messages that jumped to the top after unlocking were not from them, but from the university student I had met a few times.

Ai Jiaxin had sent me many messages. Out of courtesy, I should reply to her messages.

[Ai Jiaxin: My roommates all went out to play this week. Friends are traveling abroad, and those who stayed in the country are also wandering around.]

[Ai Jiaxin: Only I’m left behind in Xizhao…]

She sent me several pitiful emojis in a row, then followed up with a few attractive photos of food.

[Ai Jiaxin: Sister Xin, do you want to come and try it with me?]

[Ai Jiaxin: It looks really delicious. I’m already drooling just looking at the pictures!]

[Ai Jiaxin: Can we go?]

[Ai Jiaxin: Is Sister Xin busy?]

The troubles brought by old acquaintances haven’t been sorted out yet. I actually don’t want to have too much contact with new acquaintances, but the young girl is so enthusiastic—

She sent an emoji made from her own photo. Her dark eyes quietly gazed at the camera, the corners of her eyes drooping, looking very pitiful.

My gaze fell on those eyes, and my heart suddenly softened.

[Okay.]

The young girl replied very quickly. The “typing…” indicator in the upper left corner hadn’t even shown for a few seconds before she sent several messages in a row.

[Ai Jiaxin: Aaaaaahhhhhh!

[Ai Jiaxin: Thank you, Sister! Sister Xin, you are so kind! Your heart is as beautiful as your appearance!]

[Ai Jiaxin: Can we go for dinner tonight? This place is reservation-only, but we can pay extra to get an earlier table.]

[Ai Jiaxin: Thank you so much, Sister Xin, boo hoo. Otherwise, I would have to wait a long time to eat at this restaurant!]

…

[Ai Jiaxin: Sister Xin]

[Ai Jiaxin: Is it tonight or another day?]

[Ai Jiaxin: Whenever you are free, Sister, I can go, I’m free all the time.]

Then she sent a few more cute emojis. I don’t really understand the fashion of young people. I roughly know that this cartoon animal image is called Capybara, but I don’t know much else.

Just reading her messages makes me feel how lively she is.

My eyes felt a little blurry. I blinked and saw the hand-shadow fall to the side. Judging by the motion, It seemed to want to touch my phone.

That’s certainly not allowed. A smartphone belongs to personal privacy. Even if It’s not a person… but a hallucination, we should still respect each other. I’ve never done anything rude.

After a small complaint in my mind, I chose to move my phone aside and constantly watch the Shadow’s subtle movements from the corner of my eye.

[How about tomorrow afternoon? Today is not very convenient for me.]

Although I don’t have plans for today, my mind is a mess, and the veins on my forehead are throbbing, making it impossible for me to process more information, let alone go out to dinner with a stranger I’ve only recently met.

[I have something to attend to soon and won’t be able to reply to your messages promptly.]

Actually, I just don’t want to reply to messages.

After sending it, I put the phone aside, walked around the room, rummaged through the drawers, and then pulled open the closet door. My mind was blank.

I forgot what I was originally going to do.

The Shadow followed me, like an inseparable lover. Its hair was blown up by the wind again, and I saw Its elegant nose casting a shadow on the floor.

I wondered, would a scimitar in the desert carve out such a sharp yet rounded curve?

‘The lonely smoke straightens in the great desert; the long river rounds in the setting sun.’ (A classic Chinese poem line)

A voice vaguely asked me with a smile, “Does Lu Lu like it?”

Then the scene before my eyes actually changed. I saw yellow sand being stirred up by the wind, and a lonely bonfire rising straight to the sky, indeed as straight as the poem describes.

As far as my eye could see, there was only golden sand. “I” got up and looked into the distance. The dunes shimmered brightly in the sunlight.

“Wow, the desert is so special, so beautiful!”

This was my voice, but to me, it sounded a little too soft, even with a hint of petulance that I could detect.

Impossible! It’s definitely a hallucination. In reality, except when I’m annoying Xi Rong, I rarely act spoiled or overly charming with people.

“As long as Lu Lu likes it. I knew you would like it.”

That person said with a smile.

She reached out to help “me” smooth back the unruly strands of hair, a gesture both natural and intimate.

This action made me frown, but the “me” in the hallucination slightly raised my head to facilitate her action, my eyes still fixed on the wisp of smoke, as if I could never get enough of it.

Without looking directly, “my” peripheral vision caught the embroidery on the collar and shoulder of the person next to me.

Large patches of pink and purple small flowers spread from the shoulder to the neckline. I hadn’t expected there to be such an embroidery pattern of Forget-Me-Nots, delicate and vivid. It didn’t look like machine embroidery, but rather manual craftsmanship.

I subconsciously wanted to calculate how much this area of embroidery would cost, but fortunately, I remembered in time that this was a hallucination, so there was really no need to be too serious.

Although everything was false, because this is my favorite flower, under the emotional transfer, I couldn’t help but develop a little goodwill towards the stranger in this hallucination.

She also likes Forget-Me-Nots. She must have good taste.

Based on “my” line of sight, I estimated that this person was taller than “me.” So, when she turned toward “me,” she always cast a rare, cool shadow in the desert over “me.”

“Being with Lu Lu always feels very happy.”

This person’s speaking tone and cadence are always gentle. This reminds me of Guan Lan, but compared to her, Guan Lan is much stiffer, not so natural and soft.

She sounds satisfied and happy with the current situation. “I” subconsciously turned my body to find the eyes of the person next to me, the muscles on my face were stretching, and a smile was about to break out.

“Are you scared again? Don’t worry! Our future is still very, very long…”

“I” didn’t fully turn my gaze, but took the other person’s hand, speaking in a comforting tone, so lively and happy that I felt very distant from it.

So, I could be this lively? It was so natural, unlike the disguise I put on in front of Xi Rong and the others, without any “corporate stench” of an adult who had gone through work.

Before I could see that person’s face, the scene abruptly returned to reality.

I was stunned for a moment. My about-to-be-satisfied curiosity was forced to stop. The feeling of being suspended in mid-air was very uncomfortable.

Last time was a green lawn, this time it’s a great desert. I secretly thought my brain was amazing, using hallucinations after getting sick to take me to many places I’ve never been to.

In this way, it’s quite money-saving. Free travel in first-person perspective, and the scenery is excellent, even the NPCs are beautiful.

Xizhao Sixth Hospital, it seems, is not an absolute necessity. It’s too difficult to rush for an appointment early in the morning, and opportunities to travel everywhere without leaving the house are rare.

I pondered over many things, just unwilling to continue the headache over Guan Lan.

If she really lied to me, what could I do?

Should I turn a blind eye to her past contributions?

My chest felt suffocated by the heavy emotion. I saw the Shadow pointing at me, and then pointing at Itself.

What is It planning to do?

Perhaps because I couldn’t change it, I gradually got used to the Shadow’s existence and was no longer as panicked as in the beginning.

It’s one day being scared, and another day not being scared. If It’s here, what can I do?

I might as well adapt to It.

Except for the situation that happened in the bathroom. I can never adapt to that, not matter how many times it happens. It’s not a matter of adapting. If this keeps happening, my kidneys won’t be able to handle it.

I still want to live a few more years and temporarily have no intention of dying young from kidney failure and weakness. I won’t have such thoughts in the future either. I don’t want to die suddenly, with “overindulgence” on my autopsy report…

If that happened, even though I would be dead, I wouldn’t rest in peace, because I’m really not that kind of person!

I haven’t even held the hands of many pretty girls, and I haven’t had the chance to kiss a beautiful sister (hallucinations don’t count, thank you). To die from kidney failure like this, I feel so unwilling no matter how I think about it.

Forget kissing, at least let me go on a date with the beautiful woman I admire before saying goodbye to the world!

I took a deep breath. A thought flashed across my mind, so fast that I didn’t manage to catch it.

Following my intuition, I returned to the desk, unlocked my phone, and opened the search.

[Search: Lishan City Tianwai Mountain pictures]

Many links and pictures popped up together, each dominated by eye-pleasing green colors. A few had their filters pulled too much, the high-saturation green almost blinding me.

I frowned, scanning through the pictures one by one. Something guided me to click on one of the camping pictures.

A lake shimmering with light in the sun, a lush green lawn, a barbecue grill full of life, and a few people with blurred faces in the distance.

I recognized Xi Rong. Although her face was almost pixelated due to the shooting distance, I still saw her pointing at the swans in the center of the lake.

One black and one white, their necks intimately entwined, casting two blurry shadows on the water.

Someone was next to Xi Rong. I could vaguely recognize Zhang Ruo’an’s features in that person. There were two other people between them.

One of them was all too familiar.

It was me, leaning on another person’s shoulder. That person’s long hair fell down. The moment the shutter clicked, she happened to be looking down at me.

Tianwai Mountain, Xi Rong, Zhang Ruo’an, me, and who is the last person?

Long hair… I do know a few friends with relatively long hair. Without exception, their jobs were related to performing arts, but due to different circles and too few shared topics, we had gradually drifted apart after they became busy with work.

Could this be one of those beautiful friends?

But I remember, I wasn’t that close to them, was I?

In terms of physical contact, I maintain a strong sense of distance. I’ve never liked linking arms with people since I was a child, even Xi Rong.

Hiss—

I really don’t remember those friends knowing Xi Rong.

Earlier, when we were having skewers, Xi Rong even pointed at a video and exclaimed to me that so-and-so’s beauty was truly enduring, still holding the position of the most beautiful face in the entertainment industry after all these years.

Then she subconsciously added, “But her looks aren’t the best among the people I’ve met. Speaking of stunning beauty, it has to be…”

She suddenly stopped before she could say the name.

At the time, I was troubled by hallucinations and didn’t have the chance to press her about which great beauty could surpass a friend who had made a name for herself in the appearance-focused entertainment industry with her looks and acting skills.

I originally wanted to ask Xi Rong, but when I opened the original link of the picture, I found that this webpage was already twelve years old.

It’s been so long. Given Xi Rong’s “good” memory, she probably forgot long ago. I shouldn’t make things difficult for her. There’s no need to trouble a person who is thirty-seven but whose memory is already as good as a seventy-three-year-old’s.

[The green lawn of Tianwai Mountain is still so beautiful, just like when we had a picnic together back then.]

Zhang Ruo’an’s social media post appeared in my mind once again.

After hesitating for a while, I still chose not to ask her.

The farewell in the restaurant wasn’t pleasant. My evasive attitude was too obvious. My every action was hurtful to the well-meaning Zhang Ruo’an.

I, I still can’t face the reality that Guan Lan might have always treated me with a false face.

Zhang Ruo’an’s sincere and sorrowful eyes, Guan Lan’s past gentleness and thoughtfulness towards me… The balance, just as it was about to tip, was pulled back by Xi Rong’s understated remark.

“That’s between Guan Lan and me, Lu Lu, don’t overthink it.”

“Lu Lu, listen to me. Keep your distance from Guan Lan.”

“Guan Lan, she’s not normal.”

“Lu Lu, Zhang Ruo’an is not a good person.”

Their voices echoed in my mind, turning into a cacophony. I closed my eyes, trying to find some peace.

A breeze came, slowly wiping away the tears at the corners of my eyes.

The light perceived through my eyelids was too dim. I opened my eyes and realized that the sky had already darkened.

The Shadow’s hand fell on the document on my desk. Noticing my gaze, It pointed at the document, and then suddenly made a heart shape with Its index finger and thumb towards me.

Its sudden playfulness completely confused me.

After thinking about it, I decided I must have misseen. How could a hallucination understand how to make a heart sign?

Although It knows my weaknesses like the back of Its hand, but…

I always feel that this kind of expression of love and affection is different from the hard fact of precise manipulation. Perhaps the manipulation doesn’t necessarily require emotion, and it’s normal to have some sudden, strong emotions arise during the act.

Even a hallucination shouldn’t be able to do something like this.

It’s probably just a coincidence, right?

Its hand-shadow returned to the property transfer contract Zhang Ruo’an gave me, pointing strongly at a specific spot on the paper.

Without thinking much, my gaze followed the spot Its fingertip pointed to.

Room 1203, Building 8, Jinghua Court, Shuiyue Street, Xiangxi District, Lishan City.

The one-room apartment I sold in Xiangxi District was also in Jinghua Court. I can’t recall the specifics, but I haven’t forgotten the general location.

That house was bought by our mothers as an investment when they were young, and it only became my personal property when I attended Lishan University. It was precisely because I didn’t have many memories or special sentimental value attached to it that I sold it directly.

However, I genuinely forgot which building and which floor that property in Jinghua Court was on.

After thinking for a few seconds, I stopped to cut my losses.

Relying on my memory is worse than just opening the chat history with Xi Rong and searching for keywords.

Although I mock Xi Rong’s memory, we are two peas in a pod; neither of us is capable in this regard.

When Heaven opened the window of beauty for us, it quickly closed the door of memory.

Is this the principle of gaining something and losing something?

Anyway, these are things that will devalue with age. Technology has benefited me. Compared to my relatively undiminished beauty, the issue of memory hasn’t caused much trouble for now.

So, I still came out ahead!

I quietly rejoiced in my heart. I entered “house” into the chat history search bar.

Skipping over the recent nonsense I talked about with Xi Rong, with my persistence and effort, I finally scrolled back several years.

I didn’t realize until I scrolled that I had discussed so much with Xi Rong about the word “house.”

Many of the messages were sent by Xi Rong.

[The housing prices in Xiangxi District have risen again. It truly is the capital city.]

I strongly agreed with this message.

It truly is the capital city. Selling a single apartment could immediately fill my medical shortfall, and the house sold quickly. I almost confirmed with Xi Rong that I wanted to sell it one day, and the next day, a buyer was found, and the price was successfully negotiated.

[Shuiyue Street is a quiet location in the middle of the bustle, and Jinghua Court is the best in all aspects among apartment communities…]

[Lu Lu, are you sure you want to sell this house?]

I located this message.

[The one-room apartment in Room 1203, Building 8, Jinghua Court, Rong Rong, please handle it for me.]

My gaze fell back onto the contract, confirming it repeatedly.

Xi Rong didn’t tell me who the house was sold to back then. Waiting for surgery, I didn’t have the energy to learn too much. After I recovered, it was even less likely for me to specifically ask Xi Rong.

It wasn’t until Zhang Ruo’an came to Xizhao that Xi Rong, to prevent me from having a bad impression of Zhang because of Guan Lan, specifically told me that after she bought it, she took very good care of the house.

Zhang Ruo’an bought this house back then, and now she is unconditionally gifting and returning the house to me.

Why?