After Being Watched by My Paranoid and Gloomy Deceased Wife - Chapter 33

I was a little unable to distinguish between dream and reality, as if I had returned to the time shortly after being discharged from the hospital and coming home, where dream and reality intersected, and closing my eyes meant being captured by a nightmare, sinking into absurd and bizarre hallucinations.

After a moment of hesitation, I took off my shoes and placed my foot next to the footprint for comparison. Maybe I had walked on it in my sleep, and forgetting that I had gotten up to use the restroom in the middle of the night was a common occurrence for me.

The damp footprint on the floor was narrower and longer than my foot; in short, it wasn’t a footprint I could make. I quietly withdrew my foot and glanced at the shadow. It truly didn’t sleep; perhaps It was awake twenty-four hours a day. Is the world after death this competitive? There’s a saying, “Why sleep long when alive, you’ll sleep forever when dead,” but it seems even death doesn’t guarantee peace. If it were me, I’d probably just sleep the days away inside someone else’s shadow.

Sensing my gaze, the shadow looked at me… I shouldn’t put it that way. It seemed to always be looking at me, and only at me. In the world of shadows, are there other shadows? I have never seen It with a companion, even in the bathroom… those boiling, noisy bloody waters, and the other figures that split into two, were ultimately just parts of It. So, is It… lonely? This question suddenly arose in my heart, but it was destined to remain unspoken.

It was idly wrapping Its long hair around Its finger. I noticed It often made this gesture. If only I could see It, and I was so afraid of It, then It would indeed be lonely. But no matter how lonely… It shouldn’t do those things to me! The salty, damp smells, the soaked sheets, and the nervousness of fearing being discovered all rushed back with the memory. Oh no. I shamefully realized that my underwear probably needed to be changed again.

I pressed my lips together and glanced guiltily at the shadow. This kind of thing is so private; It shouldn’t notice my abnormality. I secretly let out a sigh of relief. Following Xi Rong’s habit, I found the mop on the small balcony of the guest room and wiped up the damp footprint on the floor. This mop was specifically used for this long-unused room. The white mop head was slightly yellowed, and after cleaning up the trail of footprints, it was stained with a bloody color. The color was faint and mottled, like a stain of rust on the heart. I moved my nose, taking a light sniff, and only then did I notice the faint scent of bl00d in the air.

This made me instinctively pull down my pants and look at my private part. Clean and dry, except for a translucent dampness due to the small detour into memory. It hasn’t arrived. My period has been irregular these past few years, sometimes not coming for half a year, sometimes lasting half a month. When I got checked, they said my hormones were fine and my body indicators were generally normal, so I shouldn’t worry too much.

Since my body was healthy, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but it had been somewhat regular in recent months, so I thought it would arrive these few days. So, it hasn’t arrived. Then where did the bl00d on the floor come from? My gaze drifted to the shadow nearby, but I ultimately didn’t have the courage to ask It. Seeing It tilting Its head in confusion at me, I awkwardly cleared my throat. “This mop seems to be rusting.” Hearing my words, the shadow looked at the mop.

A plastic handle, an acrylic buckle, a cotton cloth—there was no metal to be found. What’s the deal with Xi Rong? Using such a cheap mop in such a big villa? No, she doesn’t do much housework and doesn’t like having outsiders living in the house; cleaning is done by professional cleaners who come regularly. The mop in my room was just for emergencies, just in case, since the cleaners usually bring their own tools, only occasionally using the host’s appliances like the floor cleaner or vacuum… I’m done for. It seems my brain is rusty.

I silently cleaned the mop in the sink on the small balcony, making sure the shadow had no fondness for dirty water, before secretly wiping the sweat from my brow. At least the water from the shower was relatively clean. The tap water at Xi Rong’s house is filtered to a drinkable standard. It’s just that I don’t have a fondness for drinking raw water… being forced doesn’t count. In short, even if it went inside, it should be okay. I’ll just consider it a cleanse. How else could I comfort myself?

After hanging up the mop, I returned to the room and turned back the floor-length mirror that I had deliberately faced away earlier. Having not looked for too long, I was startled by my own beauty upon first glance. A white face and red lips, with a nose, eyes, eyebrows, and ears—truly all features were present. It would be hard to find another person this beautiful in the world. Just kidding. A red mark appeared on my fair neck, like a red plum blossom on snow, impossible to ignore.

I examined the red mark in the mirror, rubbing it with my fingertip, finding that it wouldn’t rub off. It seemed it wasn’t a stain. The red mark was vivid and obvious. I thought for a moment and scratched it, trying to turn the hickey into a mosquito bite that I had scratched. Unfortunately, it wasn’t very successful. It’s the middle of summer, and I don’t have high-collared clothes! How am I supposed to cover this? I have to go out tomorrow to eat at the restaurant Ai Jiaxin mentioned.

With this mark, it will be hard to avoid misinterpretations, won’t it? The red mark on my neck was clearly visible, and I was helpless against it, so I could only turn the mirror back around and lean it against the wall. Out of sight, out of mind. Not seeing it means it doesn’t exist. I don’t know if I’m being narcissistic or just overthinking, but I always feel that something is a bit off with that young girl Ai Jiaxin towards me.

But we have such a big age gap… it shouldn’t be possible, right? Even if I look young, I’m thirty-seven, not twenty-seven. If I had dated and gotten pregnant early back then, I’d be old enough to have her. With my mind racing, I didn’t know when I had walked back to the desk. I was still worried about having dinner with Ai Jiaxin tomorrow, and remembering that I had just asked her before bed if we could meet in the afternoon, I quickly opened my phone to check. [Ai Jiaxin: Okay, okay, being able to eat with Sister Xin, any time is the best arrangement~] Hiss, young girls nowadays talk so mushy.

I was about to reply when a chill wrapped around my ankles, and a cold wind swept across my back. My thin summer clothes billowed out, then quickly clung to my back, as if someone was crouching there. Sensing something, I looked towards the window, and in the reflection of the glass, countless black shadows surged. The shadow condensed into a twisted, inky entity, making me lose the courage to turn around. My shoulder felt cold. In the reflection, the inky color climbed onto my shoulder, and I didn’t dare to make any movement, sitting frozen in the chair.

I seemed to hear that voice again, gentle yet obsessive, containing a shocking, deranged madness. “Lu Lu, my Lu Lu.” “You are mine, you belong only to me.” I swallowed hard, absolutely certain that this was an auditory hallucination caused by extreme fear. In reality, my ears only heard the whooshing of the wind circling and patrolling this small room. Is there any way for me to appear busy? My mind was blank. In the end, I chose to pick up my phone and randomly scroll, my fingertips so cold that the screen actually felt hot.

I refused to look or think. I didn’t want to know what the gradually descending cold sensation was. The wind circled me, like an invisible giant python, trying to coil and bind me, consuming me from head to toe. My focused gaze unintentionally landed on the app icon I frequently opened recently. After a moment of hesitation, I lightly tapped it and opened the order history with ease.

The dream… in that chaotic dream, I did the same thing, stubbornly searching for the order from Kumul City, but a dream is ultimately— Just as I was stunned, an order information popped up on my phone. Kumul City -> Lishan City. It was almost exactly the same as the dream. My trembling hand tapped to open the order details. This was a single-person order, and a one-way ticket. Only a return trip, no departure.

Everything matched the details of the dream. My heart felt cold, my nose was cold, and I was a little lost. Is it a dream? Is it real? I… I can’t tell the difference. The wind was causing trouble, seemingly unwilling to let me think properly. I held my phone, my eyes unfocused. Did I really go to the Tengger Desert? Where are the photos? There must be photos, right? A thought flashed through my mind.

I remembered that my cloud drive automatically saves photos from my phone. Biting my lip, I decided to look for photos from the year of the order. “Screech, creak—” The window suddenly opened. I was startled. My phone fell onto the desk, and I abruptly backed up a step with the chair. The chair scraped against the floor, letting out a sharp screech, but I didn’t have time to notice. The wind blew the papers on the desk, scattering them. A piece of paper was caught by the wind and hit my face, blocking my sight.

I pinched this piece of paper, and the raging wind suddenly stopped at this moment. Detailed address for the transferred house: Room 1203, Building 8, Jinghuayuan, Shuiyue Street, Xiangxi District, Lishan City.

I stared blankly at this line of text for a while. Is the dream foreshadowing something for me? Or, does It want to tell me something, and that’s why It made me experience all that in the form of a dream? What did I do in the dream? I looked up at the reflection in the glass window. The black shadows that had been surging behind me disappeared. The scene was no longer terrifying. Only I… and It were left in the reflection.

Long hair cascaded like a waterfall, and a white dress billowed. The falling hair covered Its eyes, allowing me to only see Its superior nose bridge and delicate chin, pale and colorless, with only Its red lips vivid as bl00d. I couldn’t see Its eyes, but I knew It was watching me, observing my every move, like a voyeur parasitic in the darkness.

A cool breeze brushed my face, bringing the faint fragrance of flowers from the garden, and also diluting the strong bloody smell that the chaotic shadows had brought. I opened the chat history with Xi Rong, and just like I did in the dream, I entered the search term “house.” My gaze passed over the messages that had also appeared in the dream, and then froze on one particular message.

[Lu Lu, are you sure you want to sell this apartment?] My finger long-pressed to locate the message, and the next one was— [The studio apartment in Room 1203, Building 8, Jinghuayuan. Rong Rong, please help me handle it.] It was a dream, and yet not a dream. “Buzz, buzz—” At that moment, my phone vibrated in my hand, nearly making me drop it from shock. A thin layer of cold sweat broke out on my back because of this.

[Zhang Ruoan: Lu Lu, I’ve kept all the things in that apartment safe. Nothing has been touched.] [Zhang Ruoan: Other than cleaning, I have never touched anything inside.] [Zhang Ruoan: The key is still with me. I’ll drop it off to you shortly.] [Zhang Ruoan: Is it convenient for you, Lu Lu?] [Zhang Ruoan: If not convenient, I can give it to you when we eat later?] I didn’t know how to reply. This gift was too valuable… even though Zhang Ruoan said it was returning the original owner’s property, where is the logic in taking back a house you sold without paying a single cent? [Me: Can you give me your card number? This is not appropriate.] [Zhang Ruoan: This is your property.] Room 1203, Building 8, Jinghuayuan. The answer to all the mysteries seems to be there, waiting for me to go and unlock it.