After Being Watched by My Paranoid and Gloomy Deceased Wife - Chapter 34

At this critical juncture, I drew back.

I was afraid of all the variables that could overturn my peaceful life, and I didn’t want to change my current live-and-let-live attitude.

The Guan Lan matter hadn’t been resolved yet, and I hadn’t figured out how to face her. The first part of the dream came true, so what about the later content regarding Guan Lan?

Could that also be true?

The me in the dream was not very lucid, and a bit unintelligent. That “Lanlan” clearly wore the cotton and linen clothing deliberately, and clearly said those things in front of me on purpose.

Showing off her relationship with her sister, constantly highlighting how much her sister cared for her, and how much she liked that sister. A nineteen-year-old girl, no matter how hard she tried, couldn’t completely conceal her malice…

These were things that the twenty-five-year-old Xin Lu in the dream setting couldn’t see through, but I am thirty-seven. The extra twelve years have slightly sharpened even a dullard like me to understand people.

Yet, in my memory, Guan Lan was clearly kind and considerate. Knowing my allergy to flax, she would rather break out in heat rash than wear any linen clothing.

She said, “It would be terrible if my clothes touched Lulu. I wouldn’t bear to see you suffer.”

“Lulu is my most important friend.”

My thoughts flashed like lightning, and I noticed details I hadn’t realized at the time.

Why would Guan Lan know I was allergic to linen?

The blue-phase green tree python, the snake carcass that was skinned and chopped, the gloomy and bizarre smile… every single thing would overthrow my understanding of Guan Lan. I didn’t dare to think further.

Life seemed like a gorgeous curtain. If I pull it back, I would see a desolate theatre, and the people I know would be there as directors and supervisors, mockingly pointing and arranging the stage.

I mustn’t think about it anymore. I shouldn’t maliciously speculate about people. Whether it’s Xi Rong, Guan Lan, or Zhang Ruo’an, the goodwill each of them released toward me never felt the slightest bit fake.

I picked up the scattered documents one by one, stacked them neatly, and secured them with a paperweight.

What should I do next?

My life has lost its direction. I am like a small boat at the center of a storm, watching helplessly as the oars drift away, and the long-damaged rudder cannot control the direction of travel.

What can I do?

Just when I was feeling lost, my phone vibrated “buzz, buzz” again. I saw the incoming call name displayed—

Guan Lan.

This call… should I answer it?

I hesitated, watching helplessly as the phone shifted position on the desk due to the vibration.

The phone was still ringing “buzz, buzz.” My heart was thumping incessantly, one beat after the other, with no gap. My breathing started to become unstable. I averted my gaze, but the “buzz, buzz” sound uncontrollably drilled into my ears.

I resisted accepting it, yet every cell in my body was mobilizing its capabilities, forcing me to direct all my senses toward the vibrating phone.

In a trance, facing the constantly lighting screen, I saw again the owner of that sinister and resentful gaze at the end of the dream, with a face identical to Guan Lan’s, and the subsequent angry reprimand.

‘Guan Lan!’

How could it be Guan Lan?

It couldn’t be her, it shouldn’t be her!

She is clearly my best friend, the first person, besides Xi Rong, to drop everything and rush to me after my car accident. She also cared for me so meticulously.

If such hatred existed between us, how could she have treated me so well?

But then I recalled the conversation with Zhang Ruo’an at the restaurant: Guan Lan had a history of using snake carcasses to frighten people, not just once. She had even done the same excessive thing to Xi Rong.

But, she was so good to me.

Should I draw conclusions about her based on a dream and her past actions?

Reason and emotion argued in my mind, trying to sway me to one side, but I wavered, unable to make a decision.

When everyone says a person is evil through and through, yet no matter who she is, she is exceptionally kind to you, making it impossible for you to believe her true face.

Yet, the facts are laid bare, unable to lie.

I didn’t answer the call. Zhang Ruo’an sent me many, many messages. They were screen recordings; she sent me the chat history between her and Guan Lan.

Perhaps fearing I wouldn’t believe her, or perhaps wanting me to recognize Guan Lan’s true nature, she provided this evidence, trying to convince me.

I received these screen recordings but didn’t open any of them to watch.

Guan Lan was still calling me. Usually, she is always very measured and good at managing the sense of distance between us, which always makes me feel secure and relaxed.

Even when worried about my health, she wouldn’t keep calling to bother me. After all, she linked my wristband and could check my status at any time, having query access to my heart rate and bl00d oxygen data.

I glanced at the wristband, confirming that the battery was still plentiful and the sharing permission hadn’t been disabled. There were no abnormality alerts for heart rate or bl00d oxygen either.

So why is she so persistent today?

I tried to exit the chat page but accidentally touched the answer button. When the call connected, I felt my entire body tense up.

“Lulu, was something holding you up just now? Or did you not have your phone with you again today?” Guan Lan’s voice was gentle and smooth, with a hint of helplessness, similar in tone to the other voice that appeared in the dream.

In a moment of distraction, I actually felt like she was an inferior imitator, a painted skin with form but no spirit.

I shouldn’t think that way. I mustn’t. This is Guan Lan, my best friend.

At this moment, I was also thankful that I hadn’t linked my wristband to the phone notification function, so I still had a chance to equivocate.

“Hmm… I was sleeping just now. My state hasn’t been good lately.”

I didn’t offer more explanations. Guan Lan studied psychology, and her perception has always been sharp. I recalled how I might have reacted in the past and gave a reply, trying my best not to show any emotion.

On the other end was her familiar tone of concern, as gentle as ever.

“Did Lulu have a nightmare again? Don’t rush to get up. Take a deep breath. Slowly sit up after your heart rate slows down. Take your time with everything…”

In my ear was her gentle guidance, just like every time I woke up from a nightmare before.

Guan Lan used to stay at my place often, but sometimes she would be at the company or out of town, making it inconvenient to rush to my side.

But no matter what she was doing at the time, she would specifically put things down, call or video me, using a gentle tone and a caring voice to guide me step by step, allowing me to relax my nerves.

It was her thoughtfulness and her serious attitude towards me that made me spoiled, forgetting the appropriate boundaries between friends. Every time I woke up from a nightmare, I would complain to her and seek comfort, and I would always receive her calming call.

I didn’t think much of it in the past. Looking back now, if everything was a lie, the cultivation of this habit is terrifying.

Would someone truly be able to go to such lengths for revenge or other malicious purposes?

I… I don’t believe it.

“Is Lulu feeling better now?” she asked again, her voice still so patient and soft that it was impossible to harbor any suspicion.

Biting my lip, I hesitated and replied, “I’m much better now.”

I heard her end seemingly shuffling documents, the crisp sound of paper opening and folding.

Guan Lan seems very busy lately. Every phone call we have has this background noise. In the past, she would usually put things down and focus on talking to me.

But I’ve never cared about these things, and I care even less now. I don’t even know what I want.

If Guan Lan didn’t lie to me, then she is such a person yet is so good to me—what should I do? And how should I face her?

And if what happened between her and me… was just a complete scam, then what should I do?

“Didn’t we agree? Lulu can tell me directly if you’re not feeling well. With me, you don’t have to hide anything.”

“Lulu, we are the best of friends.”

Guan Lan did hear my perfunctory tone. I was relieved she couldn’t guess the reason for my change in attitude.

Even knowing she couldn’t see it, I forced a strained smile. “Yes, I will.”

That long-familiar nickname circled my tongue a few times, but it was held back by the memory of the dream and failed to come out smoothly.

I noticed I was being a bit cold. I moved the phone away, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. Only then was I able to call her name affectionately, as I usually would.

“Lanlan.”

My tone was natural, carrying just the right amount of dependence, just like when I used to call her on countless nights when I was troubled and saw her.

The constant supply of hot water in the cup by the bed, the timely comfort that appeared every time—I remembered Guan Lan’s company, and my wavering heart softened a little.

“I miss Lulu a bit. I really hope the time flies to the 23rd so I can see Lulu.” Guan Lan’s voice was very soft, carrying a clear laugh.

Right now, listening to her words, my mind unsuitably recalled the bl00d-soaked snake carcass that had been skinned, the snake tail that was still twitching when it hit my face, and the last scene of the dream: the girl holding the snake head, staring at me resentfully.

Before that voice appeared, the tone of “Lanlan” in the dream was always light and mischievous, and the laughter in their voices felt vaguely similar.

The 23rd… is not far away.

I have never wished for time to pass slowly, even slower, giving me more opportunity to escape.

“Mhm, I miss Lanlan too. I’m curious what kind of gifts Lanlan has prepared.”

In the past, I never cared about gifts. While I was always pleasantly surprised to receive them, this was the first time I actively brought it up.

Guan Lan chuckled, rare for her, with a hint of playfulness. “Then Lulu has to keep this curiosity. Hmm… it’s a surprise for Lulu. A surprise is a surprise; of course, I can’t let Lulu know.”

I never knew I had such acting talent. I clearly found the shadow of the dream’s “Lanlan” in Guan Lan’s playful tone, and goosebumps rose on my body, yet I was able to respond without any abnormality.

“Hmph, then Lanlan better make sure what you prepared is a surprise, not a fright.”

I desperately needed something to distract me. Being so insincere toward my friend was not only a test of my acting skills but also a stress test on my mental state.

My gaze shifted to my side, watching the shadow on the wall.

He seemed a little restless, repeatedly tucking His hair behind His ear. Even when He noticed my gaze, He continued the action.

I saw His hair, uncharacteristically smooth and drooping, but He seemed somewhat listless.

Could the hair possibly be His main body?

Why does His hair seem like a cat’s or dog’s tail, allowing one to judge His mood through the state of His fur?

Perhaps the recent pressure is too great; I didn’t feel afraid. Instead, I found Him somewhat cute.

Indeed, no matter what it is, as soon as you make it a cat or dog analog, it instantly becomes endearing.

Guan Lan was still flipping paper on her end.

I remember her company implemented paperless office policies long ago, didn’t it? Except for necessary hard-copy contracts and documents, other work basically doesn’t require printing.

I tentatively asked, “Is Lanlan working? So hard. Is this business trip so busy?”

Actually, the communication between Guan Lan and me has always been somewhat unequal.

After the car accident, perhaps because my brain was affected to some extent, I didn’t talk much most of the time. It was almost always Guan Lan, Xi Rong, and the others who were accommodating and tolerant of me.

Therefore, when I rarely took the initiative to ask a few more questions, I could feel the happiness in Guan Lan’s tone.

“No, I’m looking at… some past letters.” Her voice sounded very happy.

Past letters?

I checked the time. Guan Lan has always been very career-driven. This is the first time I’ve heard of her reading letters during working hours.

Letters, such things, have been extinct in my world for many years.

However, I vaguely remember writing letters and having a pen pal. I even dragged Xi Rong to the bookstore to buy stamps and choose stationery, but… for some unknown reason, I lost contact with that pen pal later.

My post-accident memories often start without an ending. Lacking curiosity, I never had the idea to seek answers.

Moreover, all meetings end eventually.

It is normal for communication to be lost and letters hard to send.

I didn’t have the intention of pressing Guan Lan for specific information about those letters, but she proactively revealed it to me.

“These letters, Lulu will be curious about them too.” Guan Lan’s tone was very certain.

Hmm? How is that possible?

Unless they are related to me, why would I be curious about letters sent to Guan Lan by others?

She guessed my thoughts and said slowly with a smiling voice, “Yes, they are related to Lulu~”

My brain was as white as goose feathers. I’ve always hated watching crime and suspense genre entertainment because I simply don’t have the brain for tracking clues.

How could Guan Lan not know my personality? She chuckled and said intimately, “Lulu is still so cute.”

I shivered at this tone, which was almost identical to “Lanlan” in the dream.

Fortunately, even at a time like this, I remembered to hold the phone a little further away, lest the sensitive microphone record my abnormality.

“They are the letters we exchanged in the past,” she said.

I was momentarily confused. So that pen pal didn’t disappear, but—

Oh, right, it all makes sense now. I met Lanlan through letters. Otherwise, how would I have met someone from Lishan?

I’m not the type who loves socializing. Perhaps only something like writing letters would make me proactively socialize.

Something seemed off, but I couldn’t figure out the problem. I mumbled, “Lanlan still kept them, those letters.”

How long ago were those letters written? I was only in junior high when I wrote letters.

Wait!

I was in junior high. How old was Guan Lan then?

There’s a full six-year age gap between us.

She would have been single digits back then. Did I have a pen pal who was a primary school student?!

The shadow suddenly turned around. His long, dense, seaweed-like hair flew, resembling a frenzy of snakes, revealing sharp venomous fangs.