After Being Watched by My Paranoid and Gloomy Deceased Wife - Chapter 35

Honestly, the shadow’s appearance right now is truly a bit frightening, like someone has deeply angered It.

I was startled by the shadow’s sudden change, forgetting what I was originally going to ask Guan Lan.

Guan Lan, however, didn’t stop talking, her voice laced with laughter.

“Of course, I kept them. They are such important things.”

I was initially a bit moved, as someone was able to properly preserve letters from so many years ago.

However, the scene before my eyes suddenly darkened and darkened again. The curtains were violently pulled shut by the wind. The room was plunged into gloom. I sat rigidly, not daring to move carelessly.

Long black shadows crept out from under the bed, condensing into an exceptionally rich inky black. I saw even the shadow cast by the pen holder on the desk stretch into a straight black line. All the shadows in this room were connected to It, as if they were part of Its skirt…

In the reflection of the window, I saw Its expression for the first time—so angry, Its red lips tightly pressed together, yet It still remembered not to open Its eyes and scare me.

Those shadows began to writhe behind It, one after another, twisting like underwater algae.

The chair was turned around, and It was directly in front of me. It was standing, and I was sitting, so I had to look up at It.

“Lu Lu.” A gentle voice, suppressing fury, sounded.

I was momentarily stunned, because this voice was not from Guan Lan, nor was it an auditory hallucination produced by my own brain.

Just like in the dream, It had condensed into a human form, not merely confined to a shadow cast on the ground.

An unsettling black, like thick ink.

“Lu Lu.” It urgently reached out, but only pinched a small piece of fabric at the hem of my shirt.

On the phone, Guan Lan asked me, “Is Lu Lu very tired? Why are you so quiet today?”

“No, I just suddenly remembered something from the dream and haven’t snapped out of it yet. I should be fine in a bit,” I replied, distracted by the shadow, and just randomly making something up.

The shadow’s long, seaweed-like hair flew wildly as if blown by a powerful fan. It was so dark that I couldn’t clearly see Its expression, but I knew It was furious. So furious, yet so… careful.

It was like a child, Its anger so visibly externalized, yet It still tugged at the hem of my shirt to complain, both angry and wronged.

I muted the phone microphone on my side, ensuring Guan Lan couldn’t hear my voice.

Then, facing It, I asked, “Can you tell me, who are you?”

The truth is, I was still afraid. Even if the dream was realistic, seeing such a scene in reality, and losing the excuse of hallucination, as an ordinary person, I couldn’t help but be terrified.

My body was trembling. The panic from the incomprehensible world crawled out from the seams of my bones. Cold air surged out from my body in all directions.

Although my reason kept emphasizing how safe It had been so far, the primal fear still made my scalp tingle, my lips numb, and even the soles of my feet were permeated with chill.

Despite all this, I still asked the question I most wanted to know.

“Could you tell me your name?”

In response to my question, Its wildly flying hair momentarily drooped with a resigned look, before it began to fly menacingly again.

“Lies, she is lying.”

It avoided my gaze, tugging at the hem of my shirt. Its voice was much weaker, and the tone was extremely wronged.

At the same time, Guan Lan instructed me.

“When I’m not by your side, Lu Lu must remember to rest properly.”

I didn’t know which one to respond to first, but since the shadow wouldn’t answer my question, I didn’t want to pay attention to Its inexplicable words.

What lies? Who could be lying?

I suddenly remembered that although there were only It and I in this room, how could Guan Lan and It possibly…

Could they know each other?

Even though I couldn’t clearly see Its face, I still looked towards the area where Its eyes should be.

Only to find that the area was still empty. I could look directly through the void to the scene behind It.

Even in Its shadow form, when condensed into a solid entity, does It still not have eyes?

Whenever this happened, I would think of the eyes Ai Jiaxin received from the donation, but the world couldn’t be that small.

Thinking about these things didn’t delay the questioning. My tone was hesitant. “Do you… know Lan Lan?”

It suddenly released the corner of my shirt. The shadows under Its skirt quickly retracted, seemingly wanting to hide back into the darkness.

How could I allow that? I absolutely would not. So, I hardened my heart and reached out to grab Its wrist.

Eh?! I actually managed to grab It.

I was a bit surprised, but I couldn’t afford to think too much right now. I asked It, “You know her?”

It turned Its head away, afraid to meet my eyes, and stopped responding.

This kind of passive resistance was truly infuriating. Which of the things It had done to me before wasn’t outrageous?

Whether in front of Xi Rong or at the KTV, if It could read hearts, It surely knew I was drowning in embarrassment and social death emotions at the time. What if I hadn’t held back? What if Xi Rong or Zhang Ruoan had noticed something was wrong with me? Even I dared not assume such a contingency.

“Why won’t you answer me?” I knew my tone was harsh, and It clearly had the strength to break free, yet we were in this strange deadlock.

No one spoke again. It was Guan Lan’s voice on the phone that broke the thickening atmosphere.

“Oh, right, Lu Lu, is Zhang Ruoan at Xi Rong’s place now, too?”

“After you met, did she say anything bad to you?”

I’m tired. Let the world be destroyed. I closed my eyes. There were too many mysteries waiting for me to solve, to the point that I felt the urge to slack off.

As if in a pique, I let go of the shadow’s hand, coldly reopened the phone microphone, and I don’t know where I got the courage to glare at It.

On what grounds? Not telling me anything, yet having the audacity to tell me It loves and misses me over and over, even demanding that I reciprocate this inexplicable love and longing.

And doing those things to me that I was ashamed to tell anyone about.

Yet, I don’t even know Its name.

On what grounds? I took a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions, before answering Guan Lan.

“Hmm… she’s here too. But she and I don’t see eye to eye; even half a sentence is too much. And Xi Rong took the day off, so it’s been the three of us together all day.”

I knew my expression was cold, yet my acting skills had somehow made a qualitative leap. My tone was as usual, without a hint of abnormality.

“I don’t know how long she plans to stay here. She keeps looking at me with a long face.”

Why would Guan Lan know Zhang Ruoan came to Xi Rong’s place?

In the two years we’d been close, not only was Guan Lan well-aware of my smallest actions, but even I, who wasn’t skilled at guessing people’s thoughts, could sense the tension in her tone.

What was Guan Lan anxious about?

In my peripheral vision, the shadow tentatively poked my arm.

I gave It a bland look, still choosing to ignore It.

Humans are like this: they fear everything when it’s unknown, but when they discover the other party won’t harm them, they start to push their luck.

Even if I still don’t know Its name, I understood one thing—

It won’t hurt me.

As soon as this realization formed, I was no longer so afraid. After all, humans fear the unknown because they are afraid of being harmed without being able to cope.

Compared to It, I now needed to perk up and deal with Guan Lan.

In the past two years, I had never imagined that one day I would need to be wary of my best friend, even repeatedly analyzing and pondering every word and sentence she said.

“Lu Lu, I know you’ve always had a good nature and a soft temper, always thinking there are no bad people in the world.”

I listened quietly, knowing what Guan Lan was going to say next.

“But there are people in this world like Zhang Ruoan. If I hadn’t been afraid of you being deceived, I wouldn’t have shown you those chat records before.”

“Lu Lu, if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t say anything, but Zhang Ruoan is very good at disguising herself. Even Xi Rong was fooled by her. I don’t want you to be hurt by her lies.”

What could Zhang Ruoan deceive me about?

I thought about the contract, with its black and white text and its bright red stamp.

Deceive me with a fake contract?

Or, to deceive me, did she go to great lengths to buy my house, help me gather the funds for treatment, and then return the house to me for free?

Could all these actions be just to make her later deception more believable?

“I know you usually listen to Xi Rong, but Zhang Ruoan is someone you absolutely cannot get close to. You are too naive and easily trust others…”

Guan Lan continued her earnest advice. “In short, Lu Lu, if Zhang Ruoan tries to tell you anything, you must not believe her. And because of what happened before, she and I have completely fallen out. She will definitely speak ill of me to you.”

She paused. Perhaps seeing that I hadn’t responded, or perhaps noticing that I wasn’t joining her in condemning Zhang Ruoan as before, her tone carried a hint of grievance and probing.

“If Zhang Ruoan and Xi Rong gang up to speak ill of me, Lu Lu wouldn’t believe them, right?”

Listening to Guan Lan’s gentle and caring words, yet detecting the subtle inquiry in her tone, my smile felt a little bitter.

“Of course not,” I answered her.

Guan Lan seemed to believe it. She smiled proudly, “I knew it. To Lu Lu, I am the most important person.”

The shadow suddenly grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding the phone, forcefully embedding Its fingers into the spaces between mine, as if declaring ownership.

I tried to shake It off, but It didn’t release its grip. Instead, It clasped my hand, preventing me from breaking free.

How nonsensical.

But Its strength was too great. When It decided to do this, there was nothing I could do.

Then Guan Lan told me a piece of gossip, generally about a couple where one, thinking they were acting for the other’s good, concealed something, which resulted in a more serious misunderstanding and conflict, almost leading to a break-up.

The shadow’s small actions never ceased. It was either holding my hand, poking my arm, or conjuring black butterflies and flowers in front of me, proudly displaying Its offerings.

The intention to deliberately capture my attention was very obvious.

I had already noticed that, like Xi Rong and Zhang Ruoan, It held hostility towards Guan Lan.

It wasn’t until Guan Lan finished the gossip that I heard what she truly wanted to convey to me.

“Lu Lu, if I were like her and was hiding something from you, would you be angry? Would you… stop talking to me because of it?”

I could tell her tone was deliberately fabricated to be calm and soft, and I also knew that when she asked this question, it was far from casual.

So, what was Guan Lan hiding? To the extent that she had to worry that once the secret was revealed, we would part ways.

I looked down at my phone, aimlessly scrolling through the past chat history.

There were many call records there. All those calls initiated by her were made when I was trapped in the dream, unable to break free. She would observe the abnormal heart rate from the shared device and hurriedly put aside her work to call me.

The few times I initiated the calls were all because she was busy with work and failed to notice in time.

I thought we had no secrets between us, just like Guan Lan and I had promised each other—that I would share everything about myself, every emotion, with her.

Until that day, when I, with my short hair, saw the shadow with Its long, flowing hair turn and look at me.

It felt like everything different started from that day. We had our own secrets.

No, perhaps only I had my own secrets, and Guan Lan… I remember her companionship, and I remember her gentleness.

Could her kindness to me be false?

I actually started to feel uncertain.

“Why would Lan Lan think that?” I knew my smile must have looked terrible, but my tone gave away no sign of abnormality.

“Oh, you. You’ve been a psychological counselor for too long. You like to associate everything with yourself.”

“How could I be angry with Lan Lan?”

I would just… be sad, that’s all. After all, Guan Lan is my best friend besides Xi Rong, and I never thought we would completely cut ties one day.

With a dull ache in my heart, and with anticipation, I said in a casual tone, “But Lan Lan knows that I hate it the most when people use the excuse of doing something for my own good to hide things from me. No matter what it is, isn’t there a possibility of the two of us talking it out and seeking a solution together?”

“Lan Lan and I are good friends. We’ve always had no secrets, and we should continue to be honest with each other in the future.”

I heard a slight tearing sound of paper on Guan Lan’s end, but her tone was the same as before, without the slightest change.

“Of course. How could I bear to let Lu Lu worry alone.”

She paused, then asked with a laugh, “So, between Lu Lu and me, there are no secrets, right?”

The rhetorical question in the last two words was very playful, but recalling the “Lan Lan” from the dream, my heart suddenly sank.

My lips subconsciously curled, but there was no smile on my face.

“Of course,” I said.

After that, Guan Lan skipped the topic, no longer probing, and instead started to care about my three meals a day, sleep quality, and mental state, just as she used to.

Her tone was so gentle, so gentle… so similar to the shadow’s.

I muted the microphone and clasped the shadow’s hand.

“If I’m not mistaken, you are Guan Zhi, Guan Lan’s stepsister.”

“Am I right?”