After Being Watched by My Paranoid and Gloomy Deceased Wife - Chapter 8

I can’t very well say I was crying from pleasure, so I could only grit my teeth and play dead. But Xi Rong’s worried expression was also painful to see. I wanted to comfort her, but as soon as I opened my mouth, my breathing became unstable, and I almost gasped.

I swallowed, forcing my voice steady: “It’s fine. Give me the thermometer.”

I could barely suppress a heavy breath. I heard a very faint “rip” sound, and I suspected I might have torn Xi Rong’s quilt.

Before I spoke, I never thought my voice would be so hoarse, even with a nasal tone, making it truly sound like I had a cold or a fever.

The “wind” stopped but didn’t relinquish the zero-distance contact.

But I could finally speak a full sentence.

“Whether I have a fever or not, we’ll know after taking my temperature.” My hand shook as I took the thermometer from Xi Rong.

Perhaps my crying had frightened Xi Rong. Although reluctant, she finally sighed and complied with my suggestion.

“I’m afraid of you. What stubborn temper. If you don’t want to go to the hospital, then don’t. Is there any need to cry?”

She grumbled, but she still tucked the corner of the quilt for me. A section of the quilt was wet, and I wondered if it would smell…

My nerves were taut. I twisted my legs and shifted inward, terrified of her discovering anything amiss.

“If you have a fever, don’t try to power through it. When you had your accident before, your body was fundamentally damaged, and you haven’t taken good care of yourself these past few years. You are not allowed to tough it out, understand?”

She really is worried about me.

I sniffled, a little touched. “Thank you, Mama Xi.”

Xi Rong laughed and cursed me: “Get lost. If I ever have a child, I certainly wouldn’t raise them to be like you.”

The hallucination was quiet, but my body still reacted.

I felt like I was standing on a cliff, ready to be pushed into the abyss by the wind at any moment. The fierce wind on my face surrounded me everywhere, while also drilling violently and mischievously into every crevice. With each breath and contraction, there was a feeling of soreness and swelling, along with an unspeakable awkwardness.

Xi Rong was still here. I didn’t know how to face my friend in this situation. I buried my face back into the quilt, leaving only my burning ears exposed to the circulating air conditioning, alternating between hot and cold.

“I… feel a bit unwell.” I held back before letting the almost-leaked gasps retreat from my lips.

At this moment, I was really afraid of Xi Rong’s stubbornness. In high school, when we lived in the dorm, she swapped beds with a roommate because I was sick, making it easier to take care of me at night.

She has always been someone who says few kind words, has a difficult personality, but is the most gentle and meticulous person.

I was really afraid of this hallucination going crazy, deciding that one wasn’t enough and wanting two. I was also afraid that the current situation would spiral out of control. If that happened, I would truly be too ashamed to ever face Xi Rong again.

As I flinched, the wind filling the deepest part suddenly moved, grinding inch by inch, making it impossible for me to remain calm. Tears fell incessantly.

“Wuwu…” My face was buried in the quilt. I was biting down so hard that I tasted a faint metallic tang of bl00d in my mouth.

Xi Rong sounded extremely anxious, but my condition was very bad right now. Her voice felt like it was coming from the edge of the sky through a thick fog.

“Lu Lu, are you really okay? Does your stomach hurt? Damn it, I shouldn’t have been soft-hearted and let you drink that glass of iced Coke…”

She was pacing anxiously. All I knew was that a wildfire of pleasure was burning from deep inside my body, almost scorching me completely.

I wanted to tell her not to worry, not to look at me, but aside from gripping the quilt tighter and burying my face deeper, I dared not make any other move.

The wind didn’t leave.

It squeezed in bit by bit.

Xi Rong didn’t leave. She moved closer, trying to check on me.

Inside the quilt, the icy wind swirled into the hottest part. My body shivered inappropriately. I really couldn’t control it. I bit the quilt, and the accumulating sensation of fullness brought more and more tears.

“Lu Lu, if you’re feeling really uncomfortable, should we call an ambulance?”

No.

I couldn’t speak, only manage a labored shake of my head. Even this small movement pulled other muscles, and I couldn’t help but suck in a sharp breath, “Sss.”

Through my blurry tears, I clamped my legs together, feeling the dampness inside the quilt. My body was trembling, and I couldn’t calm down for a while, but the “wind” also temporarily stopped its movements.

I was finally able to speak properly, steady my breathing, rescue my face from the quilt, and hoarsely urge Xi Rong to leave.

“I’m fine. If the thermometer shows a fever later, I’ll go to the hospital.”

The icy wind swirled around the wet precipice. I wrapped the quilt tightly, worried that Xi Rong would notice any abnormality, and also afraid and ashamed to see her at a time like this.

“Rong Rong.” I couldn’t help but want to cry out loud, but I was afraid my whimpers would change pitch, which would only be more humiliating.

“What’s wrong, Lu Lu?” Xi Rong looked helpless. When she tried to touch me and pull me out of the quilt, I completely wrapped myself inside.

I muffledly lowered my head, my voice still carrying a nasal tone. “Can you go out first, please?”

At a time like this, I didn’t want any physical contact with anyone, especially Xi Rong, my best friend.

Our friendship is as pure as can be.

I buried my head in the quilt again, adopting an attitude of non-cooperation. I knew Xi Rong would compromise.

Just as I thought.

“Lu Lu, since you’re uncomfortable and don’t want me here, I’ll go back next door first. If anything happens, just call me or text me. I’ll come over as soon as you call.” Xi Rong was rambling, truly sounding like a mother.

I didn’t dare to look up at her. My voice was muffled and distorted by the quilt.

“Mhm, I know, Mama Xi, go back quickly.”

Under my urging, Xi Rong left, looking back three times, and thoughtfully closed the door on her way out.

“Click,” the sound of the lock re-engaging.

I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief, inhaling deeply.

With no one else present, the swirling “wind” became even more unrestrained.

The bedsheets were a mess from my extreme thrashing. I never knew I could cry so much.

But I still didn’t dare to make a sound. Xi Rong’s house doesn’t have such great soundproofing. Right now, I can hear the sound of her opening her bedside cabinet.

I quietly sucked in my breath, trying my best to muzzle my sounds with the quilt.

It’s already stained, so I guess I’ll wash this quilt myself later?

The guest room bathroom is also equipped with a washing machine and dryer. I’m quite familiar with the setup here.

The “wind” circled with interest, occasionally provoking my fragile nerves, and sometimes prying open a gap in the quilt to find a warm and moist dwelling place.

My back was sweating profusely. The light sleepwear clung to my back. With every breath, I smelled a strange, moist odor.

The quilt was steeped in a dampness that felt like the arrival of the plum rain season. An excessive accumulation of moisture and steam made the wet stickiness on the sheets very embarrassing.

I couldn’t quite describe the smell. I don’t have much enthusiasm for self-exploration, and in my memory, my past self never considered this aspect of things.

That’s right. Perhaps I just have an abnormal mental state. Maybe I’ve been suppressed for too long, which is why I’m having these desires, delusions, and hallucinations.

Under all the suppression, a changed, drawn-out moan still escaped from my nose. Wetness spread at the corners of my eyes, and heat burned like a prairie fire, obscuring my vision.

I covered my face, feeling helpless.

When will this sort of thing ever end? Do hallucinations last this long?

I even almost forgot I had a thermometer tucked under my armpit. It was the icy “wind” blowing across my shoulder blade that made me flinch violently, suddenly remembering the thermometer.

I definitely don’t have a fever. I know this without checking. I took it out with a shaking hand.

I squinted at the light.

$36.8^circ C$

Sure enough, no fever. I was a little disappointed with the expected result. I’d rather everything happening right now be a hallucination caused by a high fever.

“Sss—” I bit my lip and sucked in a cold breath, regretting my greed at this moment.

The cold air that had infiltrated the gap seemed to add another wisp, gently pressing against the spot where the moisture rose and gathered.

The collision of cold and heat was unbearable.

The objects in front of my eyes began to blur. I opened my eyes wide, but I couldn’t see anything.

No way? Do I really have low bl00d sugar?

People really shouldn’t make up excuses.

I heard someone laughing at me: “After all these years, you’re still so shy; you won’t even let me turn on the light.”

And that “me” pouted and turned her face away.

I seemed to see a small boat floundering amidst the waves, rocking back and forth in the water. The soft, sheer fabric hanging down blurred my vision.

Wait, what is this doing? This hallucination is a bit X-rated! Mom, I want to get off!

The sounds and sensations in the hallucination were unusually clear.

I could even hear this “me” letting out a drawn-out sob, begging for the storm to stop.

This storm was born and climbed from the illusion, layer upon layer, submerging me, who was trapped in the hallucination.

It was quite embarrassing and made my face feel hot.

It’s too scary. I’ve never spoken in that kind of voice. I want to collect royalties and sue it for infringement!

“Bad baby, I’m going to punish you for stepping on the floor barefoot today.”

The “me” complained softly, sounding like she was acting spoiled and wronged, “Mind your own business.”

In the darkness, there was the sound of packaging being torn open again. The “me” immediately grew tense and stopped the other person: “W-What are you doing?!”

The other person laughed and said, “Taking care of things I can take care of.”

The hallucination ended. My vision returned to brightness and clarity. I felt like I was almost dehydrated, with sweat steaming hotly from my pores.

Perhaps there truly exists an infinite spring that never dries up in this world.

Under the mischief of the cold “wind,” the soft quilt was almost saturated with moisture, pressing heavily on me.

My eyelids fluttered, and I couldn’t help but really cry out loud.

“Wuwuwu…”

I really feel so wronged. Why do I have to have hallucinations? Why does the hallucination keep clinging to me?

Psychiatric consultation fees are more expensive than general practice, after all, I’m very serious about my health and always book specialist appointments. A visit isn’t cheap. Although my savings are sufficient to cover most of my living expenses for this lifetime, who knows if the numbers in my bank account can outrun inflation?

Thinking of my money, grief surged over me, relentless. I wished I could cut ties with the hallucination once and for all.

But that is clearly impossible.

Perhaps I was crying too sadly and too grievously. The “wind” that had been provoking my emotions finally stopped, and instead, a cool breeze swept across my tear-stained face.

The tears were miraculously wiped away by the “wind,” not given time to dry on my face.

I was finally able to pull my legs back, curl up into a ball, and sadly continue to cry for my money.

Afterward, I experienced temporary calm and was able to go to the bathroom to wash and handle my mess.

The “wind” circled by my side as if to appease me.

Sigh, hallucination, it’s all a hallucination. Look how sick I am; I even feel like the wind has emotions and personify it.

The washing machine was washing the sheets and duvet cover. I relaxed slightly in the hot water.

A wisp of cold “wind” passed through the glass door separating the wet and dry areas. A very strange sense of danger. I quickly turned off the showerhead.