After Breaking the Ice-Beauty's Heart - Chapter 11

Chapter 11: When a Person is Sad, Their Words Always Grow Feelings.

After finally finishing the cleanup, it was past midnight.

Zhou Nianzhi wiped the sweat from her brow, bagged all the garbage, piled it by the entrance, and asked, “Should I go down and throw this away now?”

“I’ll go with you,” Song Yuli turned off the air conditioner and followed her.

Seeing that Song Yuli’s lips were still pale and she looked weak, Zhou Nianzhi politely declined: “You’re not feeling well, so you should rest. I can go by myself.”

Song Yuli said honestly, “You’re afraid to go alone.”

The statement was blunt and true.

Zhou Nianzhi remembered that night when the streetlights were out on her way home. The mere sight of Song Yuli walking by had startled her.

She had wanted to confidently say, “The streetlights are all fixed, what’s there to be afraid of when throwing out garbage?” But then she remembered the conversation between the young people with colorful hair, who had mentioned seeing someone sitting on the stairs in the middle of the night. If Zhou Nianzhi had run into them, she might have been scared out of her wits.

So, Zhou Nianzhi could only squeeze out a “Fine.”

The late-night breeze, infused with the moisture from the rain, was both warm and refreshing.

Zhou Nianzhi walked ahead with the garbage, and Song Yuli followed leisurely behind.

In the silent night, their footsteps echoed around them.

Her heartbeats and the sound of the wind seemed to blend together. Zhou Nianzhi couldn’t hear or distinguish them clearly.

She blamed the sound of raindrops hitting the leaves for being too loud, preventing her from calming down and asking herself what her heart truly felt.

After throwing away the garbage, Zhou Nianzhi and Song Yuli went back upstairs together.

Song Yuli walked very, very slowly.

Zhou Nianzhi could only slow her pace to match.

But the path was too short.

No matter how slowly they walked, there would always be an end.

The elevator door opened.

Stepping out of the elevator meant they were about to part ways.

Zhou Nianzhi stood at her door, watching Song Yuli slowly take out her key. Her feet, without her permission, moved forward, and she asked, “Are you feeling better?”

“I…” Song Yuli opened her mouth.

And at the same time, Zhou Nianzhi’s phone rang.

Zhou Nianzhi awkwardly took out her phone and showed it to Song Yuli. After a nod, she looked at the incoming call. It was an unknown number from her hometown.

Without thinking much, she answered it.

A voice came through the phone.

Suddenly, her face became paler than the wall.

Perhaps her life had been too stable recently, making Zhou Nianzhi almost forget the reason she had left her hometown and completely disappeared from Song Yuli’s life.

How could a person like her deserve happiness?

How could she deserve to enjoy this brief moment of happiness?

She turned her head to look at the somewhat confused Song Yuli.

The tip of her nose stung.

How could she deserve to stand next to such a wonderful Song Yuli?

The phone call finally ended.

Zhou Nianzhi remained in the same posture, holding her phone.

Her eyes were empty. The heart she had painstakingly mended was now being torn apart again. Zhou Nianzhi lowered her head, her gaze fixed on the floor. For a fleeting moment, she felt as if she wasn’t standing on the floor at all.

But on the edge of a cliff.

Ready to jump at any moment and fall into the river.

She wanted to fall.

She was falling.

She deserved to fall.

Song Yuli bent down slightly to meet Zhou Nianzhi’s eyes, her words coming out a little faster than before, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Zhou Nianzhi forced a smile, pretending that nothing had happened.

She turned, went back to her own apartment, took out her key, opened the door, and left Song Yuli with a single sentence: “The apartment is all cleaned up. I have to wake up early tomorrow, so you should go to bed early.”

Clang—

The sound of the door closing echoed around them.

It was a huge noise, yet it felt as if Zhou Nianzhi had shut herself off from it.

Now, her mind was buzzing. Only the words from the person on the phone remained, lingering in her ears.

Zhou Nianzhi moved like a soulless shell, letting her limbs carry her wherever they wanted.

Her sadness had no outlet.

She could only pick up a pen.

Tear open the faintly visible wound Wait for the surging waves The fish suffocates in the water I drown on the shore Loneliness devours me Telling me not to make a sound Just as I wish to exist forever in the darkness I chase forward Chasing the never-ending tide I fall downward Falling into the endless black

Why is it that when a person is sad, their words always grow feelings?

Zhou Nianzhi looked at the dense words on the paper, her peripheral vision catching sight of the guitar Song Yuli had once given her.

It was all because she had watched a music variety show and casually said, “I really want to learn guitar, too.” Song Yuli had then done all the research and bought her a 40-inch guitar. If Zhou Nianzhi hadn’t politely declined later, Song Yuli would have probably bought her a whole set of guitar lessons.

The old her didn’t know the taste of suffering, so the things she wrote had no feeling.

The current her was sensitive and vulnerable, weak and powerless. Every word she wrote became a tool for her to vent, a silent roar against fate.

Zhou Nianzhi dejectedly rested her head on the table. The fan was off, and the room was stuffy and hot, but her heart felt as cold as ice. Just as she was feeling miserable, the little figures in her head jumped out again.

Figure #1: “Song Yuli is in so much pain! How could you just leave? What if she’s really not feeling well?”

Figure #2: “What’s the point of you going to her now? She clearly doesn’t love you anymore. You just keep clinging to her. Maybe she doesn’t want to see you.”

Figure #1: “But she asked us to help her clean her apartment!”

Figure #2: “She said she came to you because she couldn’t find anyone else! You’re overthinking again!”

Figure #1: “Nonsense!”

Figure #2: “You’re the one talking nonsense!”

Ahhhh, stop arguing!

Zhou Nianzhi suddenly covered her ears, trying to stop the two figures from fighting in her head.

She sat up and walked to the bathroom to take a shower, listening to the sound of the water from the showerhead to calm herself down.

She didn’t really like rainy days.

Because she and Song Yuli had broken up on a rainy night.

That day, it was a holiday, and she had specially gone to wait outside Song Yuli’s university.

Song Yuli was naturally happy. When she heard that Zhou Nianzhi had arrived, she canceled her part-time job for the day and took her to stroll around the area.

“What do you want?” Song Yuli, who only had three T-shirts to rotate in college, could always produce money when Zhou Nianzhi came, and she didn’t even blink when paying. “I’ll buy you anything.”

Zhou Nianzhi didn’t answer her. Her mind wasn’t on the various shops they were passing. After walking for a bit, she turned her head to look at Song Yuli and said flatly, “You walk ahead of me today.”

Song Yuli was stunned.

When their eyes met, she opened her mouth but said nothing. She only nodded and walked two steps ahead.

Along the way, their personalities seemed to switch.

Song Yuli, who was always quiet and preferred silence, became more talkative. She took Zhou Nianzhi’s hand and pointed to every new and interesting thing she saw: “Zhizhi, look, there’s a new bubble tea shop here. We had one outside our high school, too.”

Zhou Nianzhi sighed.

“Zhizhi!” Song Yuli said, raising her voice. “Look, that’s your favorite boutique. Do you want to take a look? Maybe they have hair clips you like. I really loved the one you had in your hair before.”

Zhou Nianzhi shook her head.

Song Yuli replied with a “Fine” and didn’t show any disappointment. Instead, she led Zhou Nianzhi toward a movie theater, muttering all the while: “Are there any good movies out lately… Let’s go to the movies together… If I had known you were coming… I would have bought tickets in advance… My bad…”

“Song Yuli.”

Zhou Nianzhi’s footsteps halted.

Song Yuli also stopped, a barely concealed look of panic on her face. Her hand, holding Zhou Nianzhi’s, began to sweat.

Zhou Nianzhi wanted to pull her hand away.

Song Yuli refused, gripping her hand even tighter.

Tighter and tighter.

A little girl next to them cried out, probably because the wind had come and she felt her balloon was about to fly away. She held the string tightly, unwilling to let it go.

Zhou Nianzhi bit her lower lip and said in a trembling voice, “Song Yuli, it hurts.”

Instantly, Song Yuli let go of her hand.

It was at that moment that the little girl’s balloon also flew away.

The surroundings were filled with cheerful noise. A laughing, bustling crowd pushed past them. Cars honked incessantly. Vendors were in a frenzy, competing with each other to sell their goods. The hum of an air conditioner mixed with the sound of distant construction.

Suddenly, a little rain mixed in with the noise.

The balloon was hit by the raindrops.

Song Yuli’s eyes were filled with tears, but she still tugged on Zhou Nianzhi’s sleeve, leading her under an awning to shelter from the rain. They didn’t say a single word the entire time.

The awning was narrow. Song Yuli let Zhou Nianzhi move further in, while she stood on the outer edge, letting the raindrops from the side and the water dripping from the roof hit her.

Zhou Nianzhi took a deep breath, her fingertip touching the T-shirt stuck to Song Yuli’s shoulder. Her gaze moved up. Despite the chaos around them, her vision was only focused on the silent Song Yuli with her head bowed. A single drop of water slowly slid down her fair cheek.

It was impossible to tell if it was rain or tears.

In that moment, Zhou Nianzhi desperately, desperately wanted to kiss that tear away.

She pinched her own flesh hard with her fingers, but she couldn’t feel any pain.

Summer downpours are always sudden, just like her inexplicable emotions.

Desire grew in the rain, slowly sprouting.

The evening wind brought no coolness. Perhaps because summer was too stuffy, Zhou Nianzhi didn’t have the energy to think much.

Nor did she want to stay sober.

Before we part, please let me love you one more time.

My willfulness and my stubbornness.

I don’t expect your forgiveness.

My runaway emotions won’t let me be sober.

I will sink into the late night.

Before that, I just want to love you.

Zhou Nianzhi stared intently, her eyes fixed on the person in front of her. The beautiful face was full of hurt, making her heart ache. She tried her best to suppress her emotions, making her voice steady as she said, “Song Yuli, is there a hotel nearby?”

Before they went in, Zhou Nianzhi looked at Song Yuli’s back, still feeling hesitant.

“I took the day off,” Song Yuli said from ahead, without warning.

Zhou Nianzhi naturally understood what she meant.

Swish—

The curtains were drawn.

The damp summer rain and night spread from outside to inside. Rainwater slid down the glass windowpanes, and sweat, flowing from her neck down her back, soaked her clothes.

She didn’t see the sunset today.

At this moment, the sunset was right in front of her.

Her hot earlobes were hidden by her messy hair, and her flushed cheeks were constantly warm. Her busy lips occasionally blew out pink bubbles.

Pop!

Large and small bubbles burst, leaving pink marks on her fair, clear skin.

The warm yellow light cast two shadows, intertwining and merging into one.