After Breaking the Ice-Beauty's Heart - Chapter 30

Chapter 30: No Talk of Forgiveness, Only of the Night.

Zhou Nianzhi turned her head and saw that Song Yuli had already put down the water cup and run to close the door.

“So you do know you’re supposed to ‘say something’?” Song Yuli stood by the door, a smile absent from her face.

Zhou Nianzhi was speechless.

She knew that Song Yuli said this to remind her of how she had so abruptly left without even giving Song Yuli a reason for the breakup.

“Song Yuli,” Zhou Nianzhi inhaled sharply, asking the question that had been on her mind all night. “Are you trying to get revenge on me?”

A period of silence.

Only the sound of the fan’s oscillating head remained.

After a while, Song Yuli let out a soft laugh, her voice filled with bitterness. “Is that the kind of person you think I am?”

“Isn’t it?” Zhou Nianzhi felt angry, and the emotions she had suppressed for so long were finally released. Her defenses went up again, and every word she uttered was sharp. “Then what’s with all this random kindness toward me? Whether it was here or in the north, why were you so nice to me?”

Song Yuli didn’t say anything.

“Weren’t you very talkative on the way here?” Zhou Nianzhi wanted to say everything that was on her mind. The worst that could happen was that Song Yuli would kick her out, but if she didn’t say it, she would burst. “Why are you so quiet now?”

Song Yuli still didn’t speak. She just slowly walked away from the door, the scars on her face becoming more prominent under the light.

Zhou Nianzhi saw it all.

“You got hurt yourself, but you still came to find me. Do you think I’m touched?” When emotion overtook rationality, Zhou Nianzhi couldn’t even say the word ‘sympathy.’ “No, I’m not. I just think there’s something wrong with you.”

Song Yuli stopped walking and stared intently at Zhou Nianzhi.

Zhou Nianzhi avoided her gaze, looking somewhere else.

She was afraid to make eye contact with Song Yuli, afraid that everything she was pretending to be would be seen right through by those eyes.

“Song Yuli, let me tell you,” Zhou Nianzhi said, her voice catching in her throat. She swallowed to hold back her tears and continued, “I will not get back together with you.”

Song Yuli finally spoke. “I know.”

“What do you know?” Zhou Nianzhi was both angry and on the verge of tears.

Song Yuli replied, “I know you’re tired of talking. Drink some water.”

In her state of being both angry and tearful, Zhou Nianzhi was amused by Song Yuli. She accidentally laughed out loud, and all her momentum was gone. But she didn’t want to lose face, so she bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. She pretended to still be angry. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you, and you’re telling me to drink water.”

Song Yuli nodded. “After you drink some water, you can continue.”

“Oh, my God,” Zhou Nianzhi was truly at a loss whether to cry or laugh. Looking at Song Yuli, most of her anger dissipated. “It’s all your fault. With just one or two sentences from you, I don’t even know what to say next.”

Song Yuli said, “It’s okay. Take your time to think.”

“Please, I’m trying to talk tough. Can you at least respect my anger?” Zhou Nianzhi put her hands together and waved them in front of Song Yuli.

“Is that so?” Song Yuli nodded slightly, looking like she was in deep thought.

Zhou Nianzhi thought Song Yuli was finally realizing how hurtful her tough words were.

But to her surprise, Song Yuli actually looked pained and distressed.

“Ah, my heart hurts,” Song Yuli said, clutching her chest. She slowly slid down the wardrobe and crouched on the floor, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

What bad acting.

Zhou Nianzhi laughed. “Stop pretending. I can tell.”

Song Yuli didn’t react at all.

She remained crouched in front of the cabinet, even breathing heavily, looking genuinely distressed.

“Wait.” Zhou Nianzhi suddenly felt that something was wrong. She saw the scar on Song Yuli’s face and remembered what her grandma had said. She quickly walked over, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

Song Yuli still didn’t answer and looked even more pained.

Zhou Nianzhi hurried over, her steps quick. The feeling of worry was truly disorienting. She didn’t care about saving face anymore. All she wanted was to quickly check if Song Yuli was really in pain.

The more you panic, the more likely you are to make a mistake.

It’s like playing a video game; the more you panic, the more you lose your sense of direction. You might even drive your car into the ocean.

Like now.

Zhou Nianzhi really just wanted to walk over and check on Song Yuli.

She didn’t know how she managed to trip over her own feet, displaying a spectacular fall right in front of Song Yuli.

“Ah—”

Zhou Nianzhi was suspended in the air, falling right toward Song Yuli.

While suspended, a million thoughts flashed through her mind—

Am I going to get my pajamas dirty?

What if I break the floor?

Is time travel real?

Am I going to fall into a parallel universe?

But none of the above happened.

Before she could travel through time, Song Yuli caught her.

Their heartbeats blended into one.

Thump.

Zhou Nianzhi blinked, her mind fuzzy.

Thump.

Zhou Nianzhi’s nose brushed against Song Yuli’s shirt.

It smelled so good.

Why did the scent of ordinary laundry detergent and shampoo smell as intoxicating as an expensive perfume on Song Yuli?

Thump.

Zhou Nianzhi could feel Song Yuli’s hands wrapped around her back. They weren’t holding her tightly, but maintaining a slight distance.

Thump.

The fan behind them was working hard, as if it wanted to push Zhou Nianzhi closer to Song Yuli.

She swallowed nervously, wondering why Song Yuli hadn’t let go yet.

Thump.

It’s so loud.

It’s all heartbeats.

Zhou Nianzhi looked up, and her eyes met Song Yuli’s, who was looking down.

Those eyes were still bright and clear.

They were so beautiful.

And at this moment, her eyes were only on her.

Right now.

She didn’t back away, and she didn’t let go.

“Song Yuli,” Zhou Nianzhi heard her own voice amidst the pounding of their hearts. “I think a hug is more touching than a kiss.”

Song Yuli first replied with an “mhm,” then asked, “Why?”

Zhou Nianzhi answered, “Because with a hug, you can feel each other’s heartbeat up close.”

Song Yuli said, “You can hear my heartbeat.”

“Song Yuli,” Zhou Nianzhi lowered her head, no longer looking at Song Yuli. Her gaze moved past her shoulder and stopped at the cabinet behind her. In a flash, love surged, and desire sprouted once more. “Do you remember the night we broke up?”

Song Yuli was silent for a few seconds, then gave a muffled “mhm.”

That “mhm” was light and airy, as if the wind could blow it away.

But to Zhou Nianzhi, it felt very heavy, so heavy that it pressed down on her heart, making it hard to breathe.

She still took a step back.

She stepped out of Song Yuli’s embrace.

She tucked her loose hair behind her ears, picked up her water cup, and took several big gulps. When she put the cup down, she was no longer hesitant.

Zhou Nianzhi stood in front of Song Yuli, tugged at the corners of her mouth, and forced a smile.

“Let’s do it one more time,” Zhou Nianzhi’s nails were almost digging into her flesh, but her heart still wanted her to say these words. “Tonight, we won’t talk about ‘love’ or ‘forgiveness.’ We’ll only talk about the night.”

Song Yuli didn’t say anything, clearly not expecting Zhou Nianzhi to say something like that.

But Zhou Nianzhi had no intention of giving up.

To be honest, she wasn’t even sure what she was doing anymore.

But her heart was guiding her to walk toward Song Yuli.

“Little Song,” After so many years, Zhou Nianzhi called Song Yuli by that intimate name again.

She took a step closer, and just like before, Song Yuli didn’t back away.

Zhou Nianzhi took the initiative to open her arms and hug Song Yuli.

The person across from her didn’t hug her back.

It’s okay.

She wasn’t expecting it.

“Little Song,” Zhou Nianzhi rested her head on Song Yuli’s shoulder and said slowly, “Just like that time, let’s do this, and then we’ll never see each other again, okay?”

After getting no response, Zhou Nianzhi let go of Song Yuli, cupped her face, and forced her to look at her. “We live close to each other, so if we can’t avoid seeing each other, can you just pretend I’m a stranger?”

“Little Song, Songsong, you’re the best. Can you promise me?” Zhou Nianzhi was relentless, shaking Song Yuli’s arm playfully.

She was crazy.

She wanted to go crazy.

If the world insisted on her being rational, then she was willing to be a sober madwoman.

“Little Song… mmm…” Zhou Nianzhi couldn’t speak anymore.

The moment Song Yuli’s kiss landed on her lips, it meant that in this love, both of them were crazy.

Their lips collided. Pain and sweetness merged into one. Love was mixed with hatred, intertwined and inseparable, pulling between love and hatred, in a life-and-death struggle.

Zhou Nianzhi was the first to push Song Yuli away. She stared intently at the person in front of her and said seriously, “Song Yuli, I told you, we are not getting back together.”

“I know,” Song Yuli said softly, with no emotion in her voice, as if it were a perfectly normal thing to say.

“Then you…” Zhou Nianzhi was about to say something else, but she saw that Song Yuli’s eyes were still on her lips and hadn’t moved for a second.

Song Yuli’s long eyelashes didn’t hide the lingering desire in her eyes.

“Song Yuli, listen to me carefully,” Zhou Nianzhi said, her rationality returning. She recognized the full-on aggressive look in Song Yuli’s eyes. It was as if she was staring at her prey, ready to pounce and tear at any moment. “What I just said was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. We’ve already broken up, and we shouldn’t be doing things like this anymore.”

Song Yuli still replied calmly, “I know.”

“Then you should go to sleep,” Zhou Nianzhi said, waving her hand and turning around, afraid to meet Song Yuli’s gaze again.

Song Yuli sighed. “You told me to sleep here.”

Zhou Nianzhi let out an “ah,” patted her forehead, and said, “I’m sorry, I forgot. You can sleep here. I’ll go sleep on the sofa.”

Zhou Nianzhi turned back again, trying to walk past Song Yuli and leave this place with her in it.

“You’re lying to me again,” Song Yuli said, lowering her head, her voice low, as if complaining.

Zhou Nianzhi crouched down, staying a short distance behind Song Yuli. She buried her head and said, “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t accept it,” Song Yuli’s voice held a hint of grievance.

Zhou Nianzhi suppressed the surge of sympathy and pursed her lips, saying resolutely, “This is all we can be.”

“Why?” Song Yuli suddenly turned around and hugged her from behind. “You’re always the one making the decisions. You can have me when you want me, and you can throw me away when you don’t.”

“Zhou Nianzhi, this time, I don’t want to listen to you.”

Song Yuli held Zhou Nianzhi tightly, her grip firm, as if she was afraid that if she let go, the person in front of her would disappear again.

The distance became zero.

Rationality flew away with the wind.

Tonight, there was no moon, but at this moment, the moonlight was in her arms.

Click.

The lights went out, but there was still light in their eyes.

The curtains were drawn tight. Not a single night breeze could get into the room. The fan blades seemed to be working even harder, and the sound of the fan whispered in the darkness, silently covering up other sounds. But the small fan couldn’t blow away the heat in the room.

In the end, only one sentence remained—

“Song Yuli, my back hurts.”