After Filming A Lesbian Movie With The Straight Girl I Like - Chapter 19

Chapter 19: “I Thought You Cared About Me”

Xu Ling felt like every part of Qin Cong’an’s body was cold—except their mouths, which were warm. But she didn’t want her to speak. Her voice, too, was cold. Even though her tone had a certain warmth to it, it always felt icy.

Xu Ling felt like she was dying of thirst, but thankfully, the water source was abundant—she could drink her fill.

Each time felt like one less chance, so Xu Ling tried hard to make every encounter with her unforgettable.

She really wanted to know what Qin Cong’an was thinking when she kissed her—why she kissed with such care, like she was handling something precious. Was their relationship really worth that kind of tenderness?

Their fingers were tightly interlaced, gripping each other hard. Xu Ling was panting, her toes curled tightly.

They were both exhausted. Still, Xu Ling pulled Qin Cong’an’s hand over and kissed it, then leaned in to kiss her lips again. The grapefruit taste had faded, but there was still a lingering sweetness in both their mouths.

Qin Cong’an reached over and wiped the sweat from the tip of her nose. “Want to take a shower?”

There it was again—this fixation with showering together. Did she really enjoy doing things in the water that much? Had she done it with someone before and loved it?

Xu Ling rolled over, too tired to move.

Qin Cong’an leaned in and bit her ear gently, suckling on her earlobe—not really with any intention, just like a kid who likes to put random things in their mouth.

But Xu Ling suddenly felt like crying. Her heart skipped irregular beats. Every time the pleasure subsided, the hidden feelings—along with guilt—would come rushing back.

“Stop messing around,” Xu Ling muttered, annoyed.

“Hm?” Qin Cong’an pressed her shoulder gently, coaxing her to lie on her back.

Xu Ling turned her face away immediately, but Qin Cong’an still caught a glimpse of her eyelashes damp with tears.

“What’s wrong?” Qin Cong’an asked. “Are you in pain somewhere?”

Why was she even pretending to care? Xu Ling turned to her side again. “No. I’m just crying ‘cause it felt too good. So stop already, or my eyes will be swollen tomorrow and I won’t be able to shoot.”

“I wasn’t messing with you. Just kissing.” Qin Cong’an rubbed against her neck, and softly confirmed again, “Really not hurt anywhere?”

“Really, really, really.”

Qin Cong’an didn’t say anything else. She didn’t kiss her again either, just held her for a while.

Xu Ling was too tired and drifted off. Half-asleep, she could vaguely feel Qin Cong’an doing something.

She was gently stroking her head. Xu Ling became aware of it, tried to open her eyes but didn’t. She wondered if Qin Cong’an would say something—she could hear her take a breath, like she was about to speak.

But all Xu Ling heard was a sigh.

What the hell. Under the steady stroking, Xu Ling fell asleep again.

…

The alarm blared suddenly in the morning, startling her awake like her soul had flown out.

Xu Ling checked the time, stretched, and naturally curled into the arms of the person next to her. Qin Cong’an was already sitting up, leaning against the headboard. Xu Ling climbed onto her; from that angle, she could see her phone screen, but Qin Cong’an didn’t hide it or switch apps.

She was watching cat videos. When she noticed Xu Ling looking, she even tilted the screen toward her. “His name’s Mo Yun.”

Xu Ling squinted, trying to make out what was cat and what was just a dark mat—this cat was really hard to see. She remembered Qin Cong’an’s WeChat profile picture and asked, “That cat in your profile pic? It’s yours?”

“Well… not exactly mine.”

When the video ended, Qin Cong’an exited the screen, revealing her WeChat chat list. At the top was a conversation with “Xie Jing”—the video had been sent by him.

Xu Ling suddenly felt like she’d swallowed a fly—utterly disgusted.

She got up, pulled on some clothes, and returned to her room to shower. She even wanted to strangle Qin Cong’an. How could she so casually show her a video of her boyfriend’s cat? Was she insane?

After showering and changing into clean clothes, Xu Ling checked her phone. A message from Yi Huai reminded her that today was the day they were heading to the mountains. She scrambled to pack her bags.

Beauty was a distraction! So were feelings! She had almost forgotten!

Today, they were going up into the mountains to shoot the body-burying scenes. They’d be there for several days. It was a remote location, and there would definitely be lots of bugs. Xu Ling was the type that bugs loved, so she had to prep medicine.

The crew would provide basic necessities, but she still brought her own topical ointments and anti-inflammatory meds—stuff she was used to.

Just as she slung her backpack on and opened the door, she saw Qin Cong’an standing outside.

“What?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Qin Cong’an asked.

“What do you mean ‘what’s wrong with me’?” Xu Ling shut the door behind her and walked toward the elevator.

“You told me if I had a problem, I should speak up. Why don’t you speak up when you have one?”

“I don’t have a problem?” Xu Ling blinked at her with innocent confusion. “Oh, you mean why I suddenly went back to my room? Because I didn’t shower last night and I needed to pack.”

She wanted to say something. But could she? What right did she have? What qualifications? If she was the “other woman,” she should have the self-awareness to match.

She shot Qin Cong’an a subtle glare. You’re worse than me. Completely shameless. Don’t even know how to hide it.

“Why are you glaring at me?” Qin Cong’an caught the reflection in the elevator door.

“…” Xu Ling fluttered her lashes. “Dry eyes. You misunderstood.”

The elevator doors opened. Inside stood Yi Huai—he had just come to fetch Xu Ling.

They stepped in without another word.

Yi Huai looked at her bag. “Got everything?”

“Should be.”

He nodded, then gave Qin Cong’an—who was glancing at Xu Ling—a curious look. Something felt off between them.

When they reached the ground floor, Qin Cong’an stepped out first.

Yi Huai tugged Xu Ling’s arm. “What happened with you two?”

“Nothing.” Was it that obvious?

“Nothing? I told you to get along with her—what’s going on?”

“Sis, getting along with her is too hard.”

Yi Huai could sort of understand that.

…

Everyone piled into the car. The ride was long and bumpy.

Xu Ling got carsick easily—short trips were fine, but over thirty minutes meant she had to take meds in advance. She took her motion sickness pill and fell asleep on the ride. But it wasn’t a peaceful sleep—she dreamt a lot.

When they arrived, Yi Huai had to shake her a few times to wake her up.

She looked out the window. Damn, where had they brought her? She knew it’d be remote, but not this remote.

If someone told her she was about to be murdered and buried here, she’d believe it.

She sprayed herself all over with repellent before getting off the bus.

Director Chang Ning loved filming on real locations. She had scouted this place well in advance—it was perfect for a burial scene. Remote, spacious, scenic in the distance, perfect for sunset shots. There was even a sparse forest nearby.

The sun was setting, casting a bleak light over everything. Xu Ling couldn’t help but worry they might run into a real murderer dumping a body here.

Luckily, the crew was large. Some had arrived yesterday, so it didn’t feel too desolate.

They’d set up a few tents for rest.

She and Qin Cong’an sat in chairs while stylists worked on their looks.

They’d be filming multiple scenes involving corpses: the mission target, Ku’ai, and the final male victim—all at once.

Wen Xi would be driving. Jian Yu couldn’t get a license, but Wen Xi had taught her to drive. Usually Wen Xi drove, but she insisted Jian Yu needed to be able to in an emergency.

Jian Yu never believed there would be such a situation.

When they first got out of the car, they looked fairly clean. But after dragging bags around for a bit, they became disheveled.

Oddly enough, that look gave the scene intensity.

Jian Yu was stronger, so she was in charge of lifting.

The bags were filled with stuffing—not as heavy as real bodies, but still weighty enough to feel realistic on camera. If they were too light, it’d look fake.

Xu Ling was exhausted. She had decent stamina—she’d trained for modeling and even boxing—but she was still nearly fainting.

The heat in Wucheng hit hard once spring came. Even with the sun setting, it was still oppressively humid—like the air itself wouldn’t let you breathe.

It felt like rain was coming, but never actually fell. The worst kind of weather.

Xu Ling sat nearby, drinking water and resting, watching Qin Cong’an dig a hole in the ground.

She looked stunning even doing something as unglamorous as digging—with just a headlamp on, her movements fluid and confident, sweat dripping down her forehead…

Xu Ling forgave herself, just for a second. If Qin Cong’an looked like this, even as someone’s fourth or fifth side-piece, people would line up for the role. Morality? Pfft. Illusion. The only thing real was holding her close.

Sigh. Xu Ling sighed. Nope—still not okay.

“Jian Yu’s up,” Liang He called.

“Got it.” Xu Ling shook off her messy thoughts and got into character. Do the job, go home with her wife and eat dinner.

She stood at the edge, reaching down to pull Qin Cong’an up. They tossed the bag into the pit and buried it together.

Director Chang Ning wanted a close-up of their hands.

She shot from several angles, used different lighting setups—she cared a lot about these details. Each take required multiple retakes.

Their hands were beautiful—slender yet strong—clasped tightly together. Veins popped under the skin, stirring the imagination.

They shot the wide angles too. Qin Cong’an went up and down several times before they finally wrapped the scene.

“Break time,” Chang Ning announced.

Qin Cong’an patted the dirt off her clothes—no point in getting fully clean, so she just did a half-hearted job. Luckily, the humidity kept the dust from flying around.

Lin Xinnuo helped brush some off and gushed, “Sis, you look so cool.”

Qin Cong’an glanced over at Xu Ling—she was busy choosing ice cream, not even looking at her.

She walked over and noticed mosquitoes swarming above Xu Ling’s head. She waved them away.

Xu Ling looked up. “Want this lemon flavor?”

“No. Don’t like it.”

“…Such a picky eater.” So she liked the scent but not the taste? Xu Ling had been debating what to eat, but now she was definitely getting the lemon one.

Qin Cong’an couldn’t decide either and ended up just drinking cold water.

“You don’t like sweets, do you?” Xu Ling remembered her rejecting the cappuccino earlier for being too sweet—even though it wasn’t.

“Mm.” Qin Cong’an sipped her ice water and stood beside her.

Xu Ling didn’t know what she was doing there. Why stand so close?

Mosquitoes were drawn to Xu Ling but repelled by her insect spray—so they angrily turned and bit Qin Cong’an instead.

She hadn’t finished half the water bottle before she started scratching her arms from all the bites.

“Hiss…” Xu Ling took one look and was shocked. “Why are you so prone to mosquito bites?!”

She dragged her to the car and dug through her bag for medicine.

“This has steroids—just a tiny bit, it’s fine. Works really well. But don’t touch your face or eyes after, okay?”

She frowned deeply as she applied the cream. “You know you’re a magnet for mosquitoes. Why didn’t you spray yourself?”

Qin Cong’an didn’t answer. Instead, she lowered her gaze, watching Xu Ling’s focused face. Her voice was low and steady: “Why are you so angry?”

“…,” Xu Ling wanted to look up but resisted. “Because I know how awful it feels. Seeing it makes me relive it—I can’t even look without wincing.”

“Oh.” Qin Cong’an said quietly, “I thought it was because you cared about me.”