After Filming A Lesbian Movie With The Straight Girl I Like - Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Weren’t You Just Roommates?

 

Gao Quan was woken up in the middle of the night by a phone call. When she saw that it was from Qin Cong’an, her heart skipped a beat. Never mind at this hour—even during the day, Qin Cong’an rarely called her.

 

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Gao Quan asked, a bit panicked.

 

“Xu Ling just left, I think. Does her manager know?”

 

“Huh?” Gao Quan thought she was still half-asleep, but she sat up. “Wait, I’ll go ask. Don’t hang up.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Gao Quan left her room and knocked on Yi Huai’s door. It was quickly opened, revealing a sleepy face.

 

“Do you know Xu Ling left?”

 

That question snapped Yi Huai wide awake. “What!?”

 

She’d just gotten Xu Ling settled—not that it took much effort. Xu Ling wasn’t that drunk and still had some awareness. Most of the time was spent comforting her for crying over something unknown. Yi Huai had just gone downstairs to sleep, and it felt like she had barely rested before hearing this news.

 

Where could Xu Ling have gone, especially in the middle of the night?

 

Yi Huai immediately called Xu Ling. The call connected, which brought her some relief. Then she started scolding her on the spot.

 

Gao Quan returned to her room and told Qin Cong’an, “Her manager reached her… You really seem to care about Xu Ling?”

 

“Do I? I was just afraid she’d end up dead on the road.”

 

“That so? I thought you two were pretty close.”

 

Gao Quan heard a soft chuckle from the other end.

 

“Not really. We’re not close. Good night, Quan-jie.”

 

“Alright, night.” After hanging up, Gao Quan sighed. Not close? Honestly, she really thought Qin Cong’an had finally made a friend on set.

 

Last night, they rode the motorbike together, the atmosphere seemed great—didn’t look like people who’d call themselves “not close.”

 

…

 

Xu Ling, riding in a speeding taxi, deleted Qin Cong’an’s alt WeChat account.

 

She figured Qin Cong’an would delete her eventually, so she might as well do it first.

 

Just after deleting it, she received a call from Huai-jie—probably because the actor she bumped into had told her.

 

Huai-jie began yelling immediately. Xu Ling already felt nauseous, and this just made it worse.

 

“Were you this undisciplined when you were a model? Leaving in the middle of the night without saying a word—Xu Ling, I’ve never managed such a difficult artist!”

 

“I told you I was flying to Tokyo today,” Xu Ling said, clutching her stomach.

 

“What time’s your flight? Isn’t it at 8:30? Where are you running off to now?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep. I was afraid I’d fall asleep and miss the flight, so I thought I’d just head to the airport early.”

 

Yi Huai was furious. Although Xu Ling hadn’t caused any major problems yet, she had a strong feeling she’d be in for a “big surprise” from her one day.

 

“Fine, fine. Just be safe and call me if anything happens.”

 

“Got it, Huai-jie.”

 

“Send me the license plate number!” she shouted before hanging up.

 

Xu Ling sent it, then leaned against the car window. Outside, only the streetlights were lit. There were no people, and few buildings had lights on. It was lonely—completely different from the lively daytime or the vibrant 9-10 PM hours.

 

Xu Ling thought she had no more tears left, but they still fell. How did this day come so quickly?

 

Three months sounded like a long time—long enough to rehearse a proper goodbye—but no matter how many times she practiced, nothing could prepare her for the flood of emotions that came with the real thing.

 

She told her to leave. It wasn’t unexpected. By the time she made the call, she was already halfway gone.

 

Still… it hurt so much.

 

“Girl, can I play some music?” the driver suddenly asked.

 

Xu Ling was so lost in thought that she didn’t catch the dialect at first. It took her two seconds to understand. She nodded. “Sure.”

 

The moment the intro started, Xu Ling froze. It was a song by Jiang Ruzhi—a song about parting.

 

She suspected the driver did it on purpose. Maybe he could tell. He looked rough, but seemed to have a sensitive heart… A stranger playing a song that matched her feelings exactly—it stunned her and even made her want to laugh.

 

“Uncle, great taste. I’m a fan of hers,” Xu Ling said, trying to make conversation and distract herself.

 

“Ah! Me too! I even went to her concert recently!”

 

Trying to shift her mood—yes, she went to that concert too. With her.

 

“I went too!” Xu Ling said, trying to forget. Anyway, Qin Cong’an wasn’t that engaged that day.

 

“What a coincidence! I went with my wife—so happy!” the driver said, getting excited. He even started singing along, out of tune enough to make Xu Ling almost forget the original melody.

 

Xu Ling wanted so badly to say that line too: I went with my wife.

 

But the uncle’s terrible singing was so funny that she burst out laughing.

 

By the time she got out of the taxi, her voice was hoarse. The ride felt like a mobile karaoke room—they sang the whole way. It was unexpectedly cathartic.

 

At the airport, she found a relatively comfortable spot to lie down. Other than sending Yi Huai a message saying she’d arrived safely, she didn’t check her phone. She didn’t want to.

 

She just stared up at the high ceiling in a daze and never fell asleep—though she was exhausted.

 

She only truly slept the moment the plane lifted off—deep and dead to the world. During the layover, she only half-woke, and only came fully awake after landing at Narita Airport.

 

Meng Bai saw her puffy eyes and was shocked. “What happened to your face? Did you cry? Why? Because it wrapped filming?”

 

Xu Ling nodded. It really was because of that.

 

“Tsk tsk, you’re really sentimental. But yeah, your first movie, and you were the lead actress.”

 

Xu Ling nodded again. It was because of her first lead role in a movie.

 

“Say something!”

 

“My throat’s hoarse,” she rasped like a saw against wood.

 

Meng Bai gasped. “Then shut your mouth already.”

 

Back in Tokyo after a long time, their first stop was the hospital. Xu Ling had tonsillitis and was prescribed anti-inflammatories.

 

Soon, they met up with Li Yan and Naoko. It had been four years since the four of them hung out together.

 

Li Yan had long left the fashion industry and was now an architect. She was in Tokyo for work but was dressed up. Xu Ling knew that was just her style—even when they lived together, Li Yan dressed up even when staying home all day.

 

Naoko was decked out in a trendy designer brand. Add a bold necklace, and she could be on the cover of ELLE.

 

They went to a dessert café. The décor and pastries were beautiful—perfect for photos. Xu Ling wasn’t very into it and hadn’t worn makeup, so she only let her hands appear in the pictures.

 

She didn’t want to talk—luckily, her inflamed throat was a good excuse. Too bad she couldn’t eat the desserts—what a shame.

 

Naoko’s Chinese was limited, so they spoke in English. They even quietly critiqued the shop’s desserts as not being as tasty as advertised—just flashy.

 

“Too bad Ling can’t eat.”

 

“How is that a pity? She escaped a disaster.”

 

“This matcha cake isn’t bad, though. There’s kuromitsu inside—it’s well-balanced. Ling should like it; it’s similar to the ones I made.”

 

Xu Ling swallowed. Watching Li Yan speak stirred temptation.

 

Her swallow was so obvious that Meng Bai burst out laughing. “You still love Yan-zi’s food that much? All these years, and you haven’t forgotten?”

 

Xu Ling shook her head. She hadn’t forgotten at all.

 

Li Yan leaned in, smiled charmingly, and asked, “Is it just the desserts you can’t forget?”

 

Xu Ling looked at her pretty, mixed-heritage face and tilted her head. “?”

 

“Nothing,” Li Yan said casually and took another bite of her cake.

 

Xu Ling didn’t think too much of it and sank back into her layered sadness. At least they were here—if she had gone home alone, she’d have suffocated in silence.

 

But Meng Bai and Naoko exchanged glances, clearly picking up on something in Li Yan’s words. Meng Bai, a gossip-lover, immediately asked, “What do you mean? What else can’t she forget?”

 

Li Yan just repeated, “Nothing,” which almost drove Meng Bai crazy.

 

Li Yan deflected. “Didn’t you say you were heartbroken, Naoko? You look better than Ling. Share your tips—she looks worse than someone going through a breakup.”

 

Naoko beamed. “I got back together.”

 

Xu Ling looked up in despair. Her heart shattered.

 

She thought Naoko’s heartbreak would match her mood, but now it made her feel worse.

 

Fine. As long as you’re happy, just let me wither away.

 

Li Yan was surprised too and smiled. “And yet you still had time to come out with us.”

 

“Of course. It’s rare for all of us to be together,” Naoko said.

 

“You too,” Meng Bai pointed to the ring on Li Yan’s finger. “What’s this? You seeing someone?”

 

Li Yan fiddled with the ring. “This? Just for show—doesn’t mean anything. I’m in Tokyo for work. Today was the only time I could spare.”

 

Meng Bai remembered what Li Yan said earlier and teased, “You freed up today because of Xu Ling, didn’t you?”

 

“Yeah, you said she was coming, and we hadn’t seen each other in forever.” Li Yan looked at Xu Ling with a calm expression. “Too bad she can’t talk.”

 

Meng Bai wavered between thinking they were just friends and something more. She knew if Li Yan didn’t want to talk, she wouldn’t get anything out of her. Xu Ling was clueless. But she wasn’t giving up on this gossip.

 

“So you’ve been single?” she asked.

 

“Dated someone. Broke up.”

 

“Why?”

 

“She said I was too busy and always flying around.”

 

“She?”

 

Li Yan shrugged, like what else did you expect?

 

Sure enough, Meng Bai had her suspicions but never confirmed Li Yan dated women.

 

Xu Ling finally croaked out, “What? Yan-zi, you’re not straight?”

 

Li Yan laughed and said to Meng Bai, “Now you see why I didn’t say anything earlier? It’s pointless. She never even knew I liked her.”

 

“Whoa.” Meng Bai leaned back. “I didn’t see it coming… but also, I kind of did.”

 

Naoko pumped her fist. “I knew it!”

 

Only Xu Ling was a confused mess. Huh?

 

Li Yan sipped her melon soda and enjoyed watching Xu Ling’s dazed expression.

 

“But… cough,” Xu Ling choked, overwhelmed, “you brought a guy home before! I even told you not to do that!”

 

“Who? Oh, right. He’s gay.”

 

Xu Ling was speechless. She always thought that guy was Li Yan’s boyfriend.

 

“I thought it was obvious. He was really obvious.”

 

“No, he wasn’t!” Xu Ling said, suddenly remembering something. She had later seen that guy being overly affectionate with another guy, but since she thought he had dated Li Yan, she assumed it was just close friends. So…?

 

Meng Bai understood. “Xu Ling’s like that—once she believes something, she never changes her mind. Like when she thought the Naoko we were talking about was the girl in her class—even though they were nothing alike except their name and nationality. It took her two months to realize.”

 

Xu Ling cringed at the memory.

 

She always thought her classmate was introverted, not like what they were describing—but figured everyone had multiple sides. So she convinced herself they were the same person.

 

Meng Bai asked curiously, “How did you show her you liked her?”

 

“I made the desserts she liked—for two years straight.”

 

“That’s subtle.”

 

“Subtle?” Li Yan didn’t think so. Who does that for two years straight?

 

Xu Ling looked dumbfounded. “But you like baking, don’t you?”

 

“I don’t hate it. But not enough to do it three or four times a week. I hardly bake now—maybe once a month.”

 

“You… were busy later on, right?”

 

“I wasn’t busy in junior and senior year? I had thesis, graduation project, brand events, and I still baked for you, cooked for you on weekends.”

 

As Li Yan listed all the little things she had done for her, Xu Ling continued to look stunned. She had always thought of Li Yan as a great senior—someone she was lucky to meet when she studied abroad… But now she was saying it was because she liked her?

 

Li Yan wasn’t angry—maybe she had already been angry once and gotten over it. “I realized you never saw me that way, and I got tired. Then I got an offer from a professor I liked at TUM, so I left.”

 

Meng Bai watched the drama unfold. “So now…?” Now she finally understood why Li Yan asked if Xu Ling only liked the desserts.

 

“Already gave up. Look at her—still clueless. Let her go confuse someone else.” Li Yan smiled at Xu Ling. “I’m joking—don’t be mad.”

 

“Oh… huh?” Xu Ling was totally lost. What joke? Why would I be mad…? Her brain wasn’t keeping up.

 

Li Yan got a call—her boss needed her. She’d taken time off for this, but she still had work.

 

Before leaving, she told Xu Ling, “It was great seeing you again. Don’t worry about what I said. Don’t feel guilty. Also, I’m looking forward to your movie.”

 

Xu Ling’s brain took forever to respond. “Thank you.”

 

Meng Bai said, “Wait! We haven’t taken a photo yet. Xu Ling wasn’t in the last ones. Let’s take one, just for us, no posting.”

 

The four of them took a group photo—beauty next to beauty. Even without makeup, Xu Ling still looked good. The swelling in her eyes had gone down, though she still looked dazed.

 

Li Yan looked at the picture and shook her head. She almost reached out to pat Xu Ling’s head, but just said, “Told you not to feel guilty. Look at your face. I’m off. Bye.”

 

After Li Yan left, the remaining three didn’t go anywhere else. Xu Ling still felt awful and returned to the hotel to rest.

 

She lay around all day, finally feeling a bit better when Meng Bai came to chat and ask if something was bothering her.

 

“You were never the sharpest tool in the shed, but this is another level. It’s like a zombie ate your brain.”

 

“…Did hear that insult.” Xu Ling drank some water, but how was she supposed to answer? She could only say, “Filming was exhausting.”

 

“Not easy.” Meng Bai leaned on the couch, casually retouching photos. “What about Qin Cong’an? Isn’t she tired too? Didn’t you ask her for tips?”

 

Xu Ling didn’t answer. Why bring her up now?

 

Meng Bai looked up. “I asked you something.”

 

Xu Ling pointed at her throat.

 

“Still hurts? You really are miserable.” Meng Bai showed her the edited photo. “I kinda want to post this. It’d look like we excluded you if I only post three people. I edited you nicely.”

 

“It’s fine. Post whatever.”

 

Meng Bai squinted. “Are you sure your throat’s still bad?” She felt like Xu Ling was being selective in her responses—her voice didn’t sound as bad as yesterday.

 

“….” Xu Ling downed her water.

 

…

 

Qin Cong’an returned home. A few days ago, Gao Quan had someone clean the apartment, which had been empty for months. As soon as she got back, she flopped on the couch and turned on the TV—just like always.

 

Usually, she felt like her battery was recharging when she got home. But this time, she couldn’t relax. It felt like something was missing from her arms.

 

She grabbed a throw pillow and hugged it, but it didn’t fill the emptiness.

 

She took a sleeping pill to fall asleep but still didn’t rest well.

 

In her dreams, Xu Ling told her she was too naive—for believing their relationship was real.

 

Days passed in a haze. Qin Cong’an couldn’t help herself—she opened social media to see if Xu Ling had posted any photos in Tokyo.

 

Xu Ling hadn’t posted anything, but Meng Bai had.

 

A photo of the four of them, Xu Ling standing next to Li Yan. Though Xu Ling was looking at the camera, her face was angled slightly toward Li Yan. There was something strange about the atmosphere between them—something hard to describe.

 

Xu Ling said they were just roommates. Qin Cong’an had believed her then.

 

But now… she wasn’t so sure. A question mark hovered in her mind.

 

She was starting to get scared—scared to keep believing Xu Ling’s words and the image she’d presented.