After I Lost My Memory, My Wife Started To Chase Me - Chapter 26

Chapter 26: The Love Letters

Discovering this person’s existence was a complete accident. Or rather, it was the inevitable conclusion of a long search.

In the autumn of Beige’s fourteenth year, her mother quit her job and took Beige back to their hometown’s provincial capital to attend high school. For over a decade, she had been a migrant worker, saving up a sum of money to provide Beige with an education and a chance to succeed. At that time, they couldn’t support themselves and had no say in their parents’ decisions. No matter how painful or unwilling they were, they were forced to part ways.

Weishu was too young to understand romantic feelings, but Beige already considered Weishu to be her own person, secretly wanting to protect and dote on her for a lifetime.

Beige left her contact information and an address, telling Weishu to come and visit her. But Weishu never came. Under the heavy academic pressure of high school, Beige tried to find her a few times, but Weishu’s family was already showing signs of decline. The two only met three times, and each time was rushed. When Beige returned during her sophomore summer, she discovered that the Weishu family’s villa had been sold, and the house was empty.

It wasn’t until after her college entrance exams that she got news of Weishu from Chen Xiaoqian.

Beige had no idea what Weishu had experienced during that year and a half, but she remembered the day they reunited. Weishu was lying on the grass in a garden, sunbathing. There was no expression on her pale face. She couldn’t hear others calling her, and her eyes were unfocused, like a beautiful doll with no soul.

Even though she was bathed in sunlight, a sky full of snow was falling silently in her eyes. Her spirit was sealed inside her frail body, and she was in a daze.

Chen Xiaoqian had never liked Beige and had sent people to drive her away many times. On one occasion, Beige was pushed down the stairs. Her head hit the ground, and bl00d streamed down her face. She called out Weishu’s name.

She had finally found the person she had been looking for. Even if Weishu was now covered in wounds, like a stained crystal doll, immersed in her own world without a word, Beige wanted to pick up every shattered piece of crystal and put them in her own treasure chest, locking them away. Beige wasn’t afraid that Weishu wouldn’t recognize her, and she wasn’t afraid that she would stay like this forever. She was only afraid that Weishu would leave and that when she came back, the place would be empty again and she wouldn’t be able to find her.

Perhaps Beige’s obsession had reached Weishu. Weishu’s eyes cleared for a moment, as if she recognized her. She walked down, touched Beige’s head, and whispered, “It doesn’t hurt.”

This moment of clarity ripped open a hole in Weishu’s illness. She gradually got better, recognizing people and starting to talk. Beige thought she could stay with Weishu and watch her get better, bit by bit. But she never expected Weishu to suddenly suggest going abroad.

Chen Xiaoqian was not well-educated and had a blind faith in studying abroad. She fully supported Weishu going overseas. A week after Weishu had landed, Beige found her in Yu Qing’s朋友圈 (friends’ circle) on social media. It was a country in Europe, a day and a night away by plane.

Beige missed Weishu to the point of madness, but Weishu had deactivated all her domestic social media accounts, leaving Beige with nowhere to look. Weishu’s actions were like a final farewell to everything in the past.

Beige could only beg Yu Qing for help. Fortunately, Yu Qing was a good person and their relationship was decent. Knowing that Beige truly cared for Weishu, she didn’t hide anything.

“- The social media we use are Facebook, Instagram, Telegram… I don’t like that last one anyway.”

“- Weishu, I’m not sure. She’s old school; she uses phone calls and text messages.”

“- Her phone number? I’ll ask her for you. If she’s willing to give it to you, I’ll send it.”

Beige didn’t know what Yu Qing had said to Weishu, but when she finally got the phone number, Yu Qing’s reaction was very strange. “What’s going on with you two?” Yu Qing asked Beige.

Beige was puzzled. “Did she say something?”

Yu Qing said, “When she hears your name, she cries without any expression on her face, but she doesn’t seem to notice it herself.”

Beige never expected that she would be associated with sadness and pain in Weishu’s mind. It was a complete shock. At the time, Beige could only give a vague guess. “Perhaps the people and events of the past are all a kind of pain for her.”

Beige started to register for foreign social media accounts, setting her location to near Europe. At first, she just wanted to use the photos shared by these people to understand Europe and see Weishu’s environment, so she would have more to imagine when she missed her in the middle of the night.

As time went on, perhaps Big Data had a mind of its own, because Beige started seeing many people from Yu Qing’s neighborhood, and could even spot Yu Qing’s garden in their photos. Did Weishu walk past this park? Did that Maine Coon on the bench pass by her? It’s autumn now, and it’s raining frequently in Europe. Does she use an umbrella or a raincoat?

But before she could feel happy about it, one day, a love letter with handwritten words leaped into her eyes. It was a new account, registered only two months ago, with a default avatar and a random username. It was the kind of account that no one would stop to look at.

But this barren account posted a love letter with elegant handwriting and poignant content. Beige only glanced at it, and she couldn’t look away. It was Weishu’s handwriting. Beige recognized it. She had once held Weishu’s hand and taught her how to write a beautiful “F” that wasn’t so flashy, with a slight downward stroke and a short upward tail, with a perfect angle of 47°.

Weishu used the script Beige had taught her, one stroke at a time, to write a love letter to Doris. In the letter, Doris was a girl she had just met, who was brave, gentle, and kind. Weishu had fallen uncontrollably in love with her and began to write about her secret feelings, using the letters to talk to her.

Beige broke every word and every letter into pieces and stuffed them into her eyes. Her vision turned bloodshot with jealousy, and she felt like she was going crazy. Weishu could leave them and everything from the past to heal on her own, but why did she turn around and fall in love with someone else?

Later, the account would update with a new message every few days, mostly her own private thoughts. Weishu used this account to talk about her unrequited love for Doris and even gave her a Chinese name, “Ah Shui.” It was a reference to the phrase “the highest good is like water.” She loved this D to this extent. Later, Weishu wrote in a letter that the two of them were finally together.

Beige’s worst fear had come true. She took a flight to Europe that very night, but Weishu ignored her completely, treating her like she was invisible. She didn’t question Weishu; she just followed her, watching her go to class, to parties, to eat, searching through the crowds for any sign of a “Doris,” but she found nothing.

Beige felt like a lowly and despicable peeping tom, spying on someone else’s privacy and twisting herself into a knot in the darkness. The account continued to be updated until the year Weishu returned to China. After that, there was no more news.

Beige had once thought that they had broken up and that Weishu had finally come back to her. But the years of longing she couldn’t see or touch, combined with the jealousy from prying into Weishu’s secret love, made it impossible for Beige to look at their relationship in an honest way. She no longer dared to hope for Weishu’s true feelings.

She was unable to attain the love she wanted, and she was also so jealous and twisted that she refused to mention this part of the past to Weishu. She pretended that nothing had happened, allowing the pure and beautiful feelings in her heart to turn sour and rotten.

For so many years, that name had been like a curse, one that should have disappeared completely. But the moment it came back to life years later, it struck the most fragile part of Beige’s heart.

Beige almost crushed Weishu’s phone case.

“Darling, can you hand me a face towel?” Weishu called from the bathroom.

Beige barely snapped back to reality. Her eyes were red as she stared at the conversation between Weishu and Yu Qing. Fortunately, Weishu had absolutely no memory of Doris at this moment.

And she would absolutely not let Weishu remember this person. She would make Doris disappear completely between the two of them.

Beige went to the shelf, grabbed a new pack of face towels, pushed open the bathroom door, and squeezed inside. Weishu’s face and hands were covered in water droplets. “Thanks, darling,” she said, reaching for the towel.

Beige avoided her hand, personally tearing off a piece, wrapping it around three of her fingers, and pressing it onto Weishu’s face with a little force. The towel was thick and fluffy, instantly absorbing all the water droplets. Weishu’s skin, now moist, looked fair and translucent, like a delicate milk jelly that could be broken with a touch.

Beige’s fingers pressed down on Weishu’s red lips, her grip unknowingly tightening. Weishu blinked. A sting came from her lips. Just as she was about to speak, her mouth opened, and a dark shadow loomed over her.

Weishu’s lips parted slightly, and she closed her eyes in surprise.

But Beige stopped an inch from Weishu’s face. In the dim light, Beige’s voice seemed to come from a distant sea, carrying a salty, moist scent. She murmured in a low voice, “You are mine, right?”

Weishu’s eyes widened. The sense of oppression made her unable to speak.

Beige pinched her chin, commanding, “Say it.”

Weishu’s heart pounded. A shy, pink flush crept into the corners of her eyes and eyebrows. She looked away. “Uh… yes.”

The deep emotions in Beige’s eyes trembled the moment she saw the red on the corner of Weishu’s eye. She slowly released her hand, and her body slowly moved away, but she was still in a looming position.

“Children can’t lie,” Beige’s palm wrapped around Weishu’s lower back, moving down, then patted it. “If you lie, you’ll get spanked.”

Beige rarely spoke to her like this. Weishu was so embarrassed she couldn’t speak, and she didn’t have the mind to distinguish the deeper meaning in Beige’s words. She could only nod frantically.

“I got it… You, I’m going to get ready!”

Beige suddenly smiled and patted her head. “Good girl.” Her fingers brushed lightly against the side of Weishu’s face, a touch as cool as silk. “Come out when you’re done.”

Weishu stood there, dazed for a long time. Her cheeks were still burning. Beige was just… so bold. She was already taller than her, and when she leaned in, she could completely cover her. Weishu thought Beige was going to start a passionate kiss scene in the bathroom, or at least a French kiss against the wall. Her intuition was absolutely right. Beige definitely had that idea, but she hit the brakes at the last second. The sense of oppression was so strong that Weishu still felt like she was in a dream when she recalled what had just happened.