After Marrying the Aloof Beauty, I Totally Fell for Her - Chapter 42

Chapter 42: Love and Desire

The woman’s lips were as soft as cotton candy. There was no need for a deeper kiss—just the light touch of her lips against hers was enough to make An Ning feel like two-thirds of her soul had floated away.

Her heart pounded violently, yet the bl00d it pumped was still not enough to keep her mind clear. She felt intoxicated, dizzy and unfocused—not from tears, but from the sweet scent that filled her nose.

At such close range, Mu Yan’s fluttering lashes brushed against her cheek, tickling like a feather stroking her heart.

 Teacher Mu’s lips are so soft.

Instinctively, she stuck out her tongue and lightly licked that thin pair of lips.

Sweet.

The next moment, the woman jerked back like a startled little animal, leaving An Ning sitting there, dazed and wide-eyed, her gaze unfocused.

“Didn’t you ask for a reward? That was it,” Mu Yan blurted out quickly, then immediately started the car.

She must have planned that excuse ahead of time, because there wasn’t the slightest hesitation in her words.

In fact, her face had already turned completely red in the few seconds it took to say it.

An Ning couldn’t see her own face, but judging by the woman’s, she knew they were probably in the same state.

 Teacher Mu is not doing any better than me.

“Oh. Oh.” Her voice came out hoarse and blank, like a malfunctioning robot.

Turning stiffly to look at the slowly changing scenery outside, An Ning raised a hand to touch her lips.

Of course her lips were soft too—but no matter how she touched them, they didn’t feel as soft as Mu Yan’s.

 Teacher Mu kissed me?

 Teacher Mu kissed me.

 Teacher Mu kissed me!

For the rest of the car ride, An Ning’s mind could only repeat that one sentence on loop, until the car finally stopped at the entrance of the porcelain factory’s residential compound.

“Get out,” Mu Yan said without looking at her. After such a long time, the red had finally faded a little from her face—but she still looked more flushed than usual.

“Mm…” An Ning fumbled for the door handle in a daze but stopped halfway, turning to Mu Yan and calling softly, “ Teacher Mu.”

“Hmm?” The woman turned instinctively, only to see the girl suddenly lean forward—and kiss her.

The kiss was meant for her lips, but whether from nerves or poor aim, it landed on her cheek instead.

As the girl pulled back, she bumped her head on the car ceiling with a loud thud.

“Hiss—!” An Ning winced, clutching her head as she scrambled out of the car. She turned to the stunned woman in the driver’s seat and shouted, “That was a return gift!”

She must have thought that up long ago too, because as soon as she said it, she bolted away without a backward glance, like a rabbit fleeing from a wild beast.

Mu Yan: “……”

The woman sat frozen for a moment before slowly raising her hand to cover her eyes.

The spot where the girl’s lips had landed still burned. And earlier, when that warm, wet tongue had swept across her lips, her lower abdomen had involuntarily tightened.

A secret desire had stirred inside her like a monster, extending its tendrils and taking root in her heart.

Truly… shameless.

An Ning didn’t stop running until she reached the stairwell. She stood there catching her breath, throat dry as if all the moisture in her body had been evaporated by that lingering heat.

She placed a hand over her chest, feeling her heart pound as she slowly climbed the stairs, one step at a time.

She knew she hadn’t really been satisfied with just a simple kiss just now. She had backed down in the end because she got scared.

Love and desire are inseparable.

The deeper the love, the more natural the desire.

And desire is often accompanied by greed.

Even if your nature is pure and your heart innocent, it’s hard to resist the instinct to want more.

Just that kiss wasn’t enough. She wanted to hold that slender neck, to carefully taste every corner of those soft lips, and then…

Taste what was inside.

What would  Teacher Mu’s reaction be? Anger? Struggle? Or indulgence?

An Ning tried to imagine the possible expressions on the woman’s face—and in the end, realized helplessly that any of them would only make her more excited.

I can’t keep thinking like this.

Standing at her front door, An Ning gripped the cold doorknob and took two deep breaths. Then she opened her phone’s front camera to check her face.

Her cheeks were still red. Thankfully, she wasn’t as pale as  Teacher Mu, so it wasn’t too obvious.

But her eyes—they were dewy, with a faint blush at the corners. It was a look she’d never seen on herself before… a look full of springtime yearning.

The word alone startled her, sending a shiver down her spine. She quickly grabbed a wet wipe and rubbed her eyes.

If her parents saw her like this, they’d definitely ask questions—and she really wasn’t in the mood to explain.

She was afraid that the moment she opened her mouth, she’d say,  Teacher Mu’s lips are so sweet.

After wiping her eyes again and seeing that she looked a bit better, An Ning finally opened the door.

To her surprise, her parents weren’t home. They must have gone to visit friends.

That worked perfectly for her. An Ning breathed a sigh of relief and drifted to the bathroom like a deflated balloon, where she splashed cold water on her face.

The chill sobered her up a little—

But she immediately started regretting her cowardice from earlier.

It wasn’t enough. The more she thought about it, the more it wasn’t enough.

She felt a bit hungry, but she couldn’t even tell if it was real hunger, or just a compensation for the taste she hadn’t gotten.

She made a bowl of noodles and devoured it in big bites. The full stomach helped settle her restlessness.

Then she pulled out her phone and checked the time. Mu Teacher should be home by now.

I’m Not Jealous: Mu Teacher, are you home yet? (puppy_confused.gif)

This time, the reply came quickly.

MY: Mm.

I’m Not Jealous: Good. I just had dinner. You should eat too—it’s dinnertime. (puppy_checking_watch.gif)

MY: Okay.

An Ning stared at those two words for a long time, trying to imagine Mu Yan’s face through them.

She really wanted to call her on video—but she was worried that would be disturbing.

Her stomach was full, but her heart still felt hollow, like a child sulking about unmet needs.

Let  Teacher Mu rest.

An Ning scratched her head, exited WeChat, and opened a document.

At the top, she wrote:

Your kiss was far too short. I wish I could stop time.

As days passed and the New Year approached, Yun City finally welcomed a heavy snowfall. The bare old tree in the residential compound was now covered in a layer of sparkling white, looking like a scenic ornament.

An Ning went to the supermarket with her mom to buy supplies for the New Year. The ceiling was decorated with colorful New Year posters, and the familiar sound of festive music played as people crowded around shelves filled with goods, selecting their favorite treats in a lively, joyful atmosphere.

“This year, why don’t you invite Yan Yan to spend the New Year at our house?” her mom asked casually, while scooping large handfuls of milk candy into a bag.

An Ning’s hand trembled slightly as she held the bag open. She looked at her mother’s face but saw nothing unusual—it really did seem like a casual suggestion.

Does Mom know I’m with  Teacher Mu?

She’d actually thought about inviting Mu Yan home for the New Year a few days ago, but she didn’t know much about her family situation.

Teacher Mu had never mentioned her parents, and from what An Ning had learned, they hadn’t treated her well. So she never dared ask, for fear of upsetting her.

The New Year is a time for family reunions. Visiting someone else’s home for the holiday meant either being alone—or being married…

Well, they did have a marriage certificate, after all.

That thought made An Ning blush.

But her mother’s next words made her heart clench painfully.

“Your Aunt Mu passed away this spring. She wasn’t very kind to Yan Yan, but… she was the girl’s only family.”

There was a trace of complexity on her mother’s face—part regret, part sorrow.

She took the candy bag from An Ning’s hands and gently patted her shoulder. “Actually, I already invited her a few days ago, but she said she couldn’t come. That child carries a lot in her heart—probably afraid of intruding on our family time. You go ask her again.”

 Teacher Mu’s mother passed away?

An Ning looked at her mother’s back as the bright and festive supermarket scene around her blurred into the lonely image of a woman sitting alone at her easel.

They chatted every day, but Mu Yan had never told her anything about this.

It was as if, in front of her, the woman deliberately hid all her wounds, only showing her a calm, reliable image.

Humans are social creatures. The instinct to share is written into our bones—we share joy to amplify it, and pain to ease it.

But with An Ning, Mu Yan seemed to only receive joy, never offering up her own pain.

Was it really like Mom said? That she was afraid of ruining her happiness?

But if that were true—it still made An Ning’s heart ache.

Unable to wait until they got home, An Ning pulled out her phone right there.

I’m Not Jealous:  Teacher Mu, come spend New Year’s at my house this year, okay? (puppy_bringing_gift.jpg)

MY: Why did you suddenly think of that? I’ve got work over New Year’s, so I won’t be able to make it.

An Ning stared at the screen, trying to figure out if that was the truth.

Forget it. I don’t care.

Wasn’t it said that lovers had special privileges?

Time to be unreasonable.

I’m Not Jealous: I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care! If you won’t come, I’ll come find you! Wherever you’re working, I’ll go spend the New Year with you! (puppy_rolling_on_floor.gif)

MY: What are you, a little kid who throws a tantrum when she can’t get candy?

An Ning imagined the woman’s helpless, teasing smile as she read the message.

Let her laugh. Today, even if she had to roll on the supermarket floor, she’d make  Teacher Mu agree.

She snapped a photo of the candy pile and sent it over.

I’m Not Jealous: Who says I can’t get candy? My mom bought tons of delicious ones! If you don’t come, then you won’t get to eat them!

MY: ……

An Ning ignored her speechlessness and launched a barrage of emojis.

I’m Not Jealous: Say yes, say yes, say yes! (puppy_begging.gif) ×6

MY: Okay. I’ll see if I can make time in the next few days and come over.

Yes!!

An Ning grinned at the screen, pumping her fists in celebration, drawing curious looks from other shoppers.

If she weren’t still in the supermarket, she probably would’ve jumped for joy.

I’m Not Jealous: Then it’s settled! No take-backs! Is there anything you want to eat? I’ll make it for you! (puppy_proud.gif)

MY: Anything is fine.

Mu Yan stared at the screen full of puppy emojis and chuckled for a while, then turned to look out the floor-to-ceiling window at the night sky.

In the days leading up to the New Year, the building’s property management set off fireworks every night at 7:30, lighting up the quiet night sky with brilliant bursts of color that added cheer to the otherwise empty complex.

Mu Yan walked to the window and looked out. Most of the windows in the distant buildings were lit.

At this hour, every light probably meant a happy family gathered below.

She didn’t envy them.

As a child, she’d once wondered why she couldn’t have a home like An Ning’s. Why her mother didn’t love her.

But as she grew older, those faint dreams faded quickly, like a drop of ink in the ocean—leaving no trace.

If you don’t have it, you don’t. No point begging. Better to keep your dignity.

In her entire life, she had only ever insisted on two things:

One person—An Ning.

One pursuit—painting.