After Marrying the Aloof Beauty, I Totally Fell for Her - Chapter 46
Chapter 46: Put Me to Sleep
In the dark, only the woman’s ragged breathing could be heard. It took a long while before it finally calmed down.
“Take your hand off.”
Her voice was laced with gritted teeth.
“O-oh, right.”
Only then did An Ning realize her hand was still resting on Mu Yan’s waist. She reluctantly pulled it back.
Another moment of silence passed. An Ning felt a pair of cool, soft hands cup her cheeks.
Then, without mercy, they started pinching.
“Teacher Mu ” An Ning tried to beg for mercy, but her words came out garbled and slurred.
“You’ve got some nerve, huh? Where did you learn all that…” Mu Yan’s voice was still hoarse. An Ning could practically picture her puffed-up cheeks, full of irritation. “Those tormenting tricks, hmm?”
An Ning could only shut up and let her vent her anger on her face.
But deep down, she felt sweet.
Teacher Mu was so cute.
“Hmph.” Only when her face felt like it was about to swell from all the pinching did Mu Yan finally let go, her anger slightly appeased.
She didn’t say another word. Just turned her back to her, clearly giving the cold shoulder.
Unfortunately, this kind of silent tantrum had no effect on An Ning anymore.
“Hehe…” She let out two sheepish laughs, scooted over, and hugged the woman’s slender body from behind.
Mu Yan’s body tensed for a moment, and her cold voice followed, “You’ve kissed me. If you still don’t stop, go sleep on the floor.”
“I won’t, I won’t,” An Ning quickly promised, nuzzling the back of Mu Yan’s head affectionately. “Just hugging, okay? Hugging’s allowed, right?”
“Hmph…” Mu Yan gave a soft snort but didn’t respond.
That… sounded like permission?
An Ning thought about it and decided she’d better answer the question Mu Yan had asked earlier, in case she misunderstood. “I didn’t learn it anywhere. I just… lose control whenever I’m around you…”
“No need to explain,” Mu Yan snapped, cutting her off before she could finish. She sounded like she was flustered and annoyed. “You kiss like a dog gnawing on a bone.”
“Uhh…” Being criticized for her kissing skills made An Ning feel wronged. She mumbled defensively, “That was my first time, okay? If you practice more with me, I’ll definitely get better at it.”
Turns out, reasoning withTeacher Mu at a time like this was a terrible idea.
“You say one more word and I’m going upstairs to sleep.” Mu Yan started struggling to sit up as she spoke.
“Okay, okay! I’ll shut up!” An Ning quickly tightened her arms and pulled her back. “It’s cold out there. Don’t catch a cold.”
Mu Yan sneered, “Now you’re worried about me?”
She wanted to say, Then why didn’t you stop when I told you to earlier? But thinking that would only circle the conversation back again, she held her tongue.
Earlier, her mind had been hazy during the kiss, with only one thought: We can’t do this here, or we’ll have no way to explain in the morning. But now, after calming down, a wave of shame came crashing in—belated but overwhelming.
She had actually been kissed to the point of tears.
She had even begged her to stop—while crying.
That coquettish, pleading voice… Mu Yan wanted to stab her own ears remembering it.
Even if neither of them had experience… Even if An Ning had better lung capacity… Even if she really was easily moved by An Ning…
Seven years of age difference couldn’t be ignored.
Embarrassing was still embarrassing.
Mu Yan stewed in her frustration but didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t exactly turn around now and say, Let’s do it again, but this time you cry.
And anyway, that kiss was far too soul-shaking. She had no intention of reliving it anytime soon.
An Ning was afraid of upsetting Teacher Mu again, so she didn’t say anything. The two of them stayed quiet for a while.
But after such a kiss—and still holding each other—there was no way either of them could fall asleep quickly.
An Ning stared into the darkness at Mu Yan’s back for a long, long time.
Was Teacher Mu asleep?
Her heart was still restless. She kept replaying the details of that kiss over and over in her mind.
Those soft lips, the warm mouth, the sweet-tasting saliva, and Mu Yan’s uncontrollable gasps…
Kissing such a Teacher Mu —it was only natural that she’d lose control, right?
But something still felt off.
Her thoughts wandered aimlessly, and An Ning realized something was wrong with the way she’d felt earlier.
Mu Yan’s rare vulnerability seemed to have triggered something… darker inside her—a possessiveness.
An Ning thought hard, but eventually could only describe herself with that unflattering word.
Because no matter how she looked at it, that feeling wasn’t a positive one.
To love someone so much that you want to pry into their pain, even against their will—wasn’t that a form of violation?
But earlier, she had been lost in the thrill of that very violation.
She had always thought of herself as a pretty laid-back person… At least not someone prone to extremes.
And looking back on her relationship with Mu Yan—even if they weren’t as tender as other couples—it was generally happy.
These emotions couldn’t have appeared out of nowhere. If they didn’t come from the present, then they must’ve come from the past.
No… She still couldn’t remember.
An Ning massaged her temples, which had gone numb from overthinking. Just now, she’d tried to dig through those emotions in search of a memory fragment—but found nothing.
Same as before. She could sense traces of the past, but not recall any specific event.
What exactly happened in the past?
Her eyes turned again toward Mu Yan.
Her vision stung from staring too long. But in the darkness of the room, she couldn’t see a thing.
Fear crept in quietly.
She no longer felt jealous of her past self—because now, she had something even her past self never had.
Being with Mu Yan. As her lover.
Everything was so seamless and perfect—it felt more like a dream than reality.
And now she feared that the unknown past would break that dream.
Because suddenly, she realized—most of what she couldn’t remember was related to Mu Yan.
She remembered her parents clearly. Remembered childhood friends. Remembered so many other things.
But memories of Mu Yan? Every last one was shattered into indistinguishable dust.
It was like a perfect cake, with the most important piece carved right out of the center.
Only because that missing piece was so significant—and connected to so many other memories—had she failed to notice until now.
What exactly happened before?
She asked again and again. But no answer came.
There was one thing she was sure of, though: if it had been a happy memory, Teacher Mu wouldn’t have kept quiet about it. And she wouldn’t have forgotten it so completely.
Just like today—Mu laoshi didn’t avoid the topic of the sketchbook.
And if there hadn’t been some conflict between them in the past… then why hadn’t Mu Yan ever reached out to her all these years?
If the past was painful—what if remembering it now… ruined things between her and Mu Yan?
What if remembering changed how she saw her, and she lost her all over again?
At that thought, even nestled under a warm blanket, An Ning couldn’t help but start trembling.
She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to lose Mu laoshi.
She rubbed her face into Mu Yan’s hair, letting the silky strands slide against her cheek. The comforting scent that filled her nose calmed her nerves—if only slightly.
“What are you doing now?” To her surprise, Mu Yan—who had seemed fast asleep—suddenly spoke, her voice laced with barely suppressed annoyance.
“Teacher Mu … Did I wake you?” An Ning’s heart clenched in panic. She didn’t want to explain what she’d been thinking. She was afraid Mu Yan would overthink it—or worse, explain it all just to reassure her.
Everything now was perfect. The past was in the past.
If remembering it would change anything… she’d rather never remember again.
Mu Yan hadn’t been asleep. She’d only been pretending, worried that An Ning would cling to her again. But the girl hadn’t just clung—she’d trembled, rubbed up against her, and made the perfectly normal blanket feel unbearably hot. So she opened her mouth to warn her off.
She thought An Ning would laugh and deflect like usual—but instead, her voice came trembling, with the faintest hint of tears.
Mu Yan’s heart clenched.
She’d seemed perfectly fine earlier—what happened now?
The shadow of that kiss still lingered in her mind. She didn’t really want to engage, but she couldn’t bring herself to ignore it. In the end, she sighed, turned over, and reached to touch the girl’s face.
“What’s wrong?”
Her voice was soft. And in that moment, the softer she was, the more terrified An Ning became.
She couldn’t bear the thought of losing this gentle version of Teacher Mu . Just thinking about it made her chest go cold, her eyes start to burn.
“It’s nothing… I just can’t sleep.” She tried her best to steady her voice, hoping Mu Yan wouldn’t catch on.
Please don’t ask, Teacher Mu .
The other woman didn’t say anything. An Ning worried she was upset, and quickly added, “You go ahead and sleep, don’t mind me. I’m just too wound up.”
After a moment, she heard a soft sigh.
That sigh made her heart sink. Just as she was about to say more, she felt the woman in her arms shift—pushing upward slightly.
Before she could react, a pair of slender arms wrapped around her.
Their positions reversed—now it was Mu Yan hugging her.
An Ning’s face was suddenly pressed against something soft and full.
That was…
Her cheeks flamed. All her chaotic thoughts vanished in an instant.
But Mu Yan didn’t seem to care about being taken advantage of. Her hands patted her back rhythmically.
“Go to sleep. Stop overthinking.”
Her voice was deliberately cold, like issuing a strict order.
But her actions were so gentle—like coaxing a child who didn’t want to sleep.
An Ning’s fear was soothed in that warm embrace. She obediently rested against the woman’s chest, with no thoughts of mischief, and asked in a small voice, “Teacher Mu… did you used to put me to sleep like this too?”
“What do you think?” Mu Yan replied impatiently, as if the question was too dumb to bother with. “You’re so grown up and still this much trouble.”
Her tone was full of exasperation, but her hand never stopped patting.
“Oh…” An Ning dared not say more. She just curled up in Mu Yan’s arms like a small beast that had found the perfect den, finally at peace. Drowsiness slowly crept over her under that steady rhythm, and at last, she drifted off to sleep.
She was still afraid—but something inside her had grown strong enough to fight that fear.
She believed… the joyful memories between her and Mu Yan must far outnumber the painful ones.