After the Breakup, the Possessive Heiress Regretted It - Chapter 36
Chapter 35: So Pitiful
After watching Ji Wanmian safely walk away and completely disappear from her sight, Pei Jinyue finally turned around and, enduring the cold wind, slowly left the apartment complex where Ji Wanmian lived.
She hadn’t even returned home when she was startled by the loud shouting of a neighbor. Although it wasn’t cursing, it was enough to make one tremble for a while. She finally managed to get into her own house, originally thinking that after a tiring day, she’d just take a shower and lie down. Unexpectedly, the light was broken again.
Pei Jinyue sighed. A few years ago, when she had just run away from home, she probably wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Now, she was quite adept at such things.
She turned on her phone’s flashlight, first went to turn off the power, then found the ladder at home, put on gloves, carefully climbed up, unscrewed the old bulb gently, and installed the new one quietly. After making sure it was done, she climbed down.
She flipped the power switch, and with a “click,” the light came on. Pei Jinyue even squinted her eyes, momentarily blinded by the sudden strong light, and sat down on the living room sofa. The house wasn’t soundproof, and the faint voices of her neighbors’ conversations could vaguely reach her ears through the wall.
Every time these things bothered her, her mind would always wander—
Did Ji Wanmian experience such hardships when she lived alone in a rented room just to be near her?
She had always thought she felt nothing for anyone outside of Su Nian and Pei Siche in the past, indifferent to people and things, until she truly realized she had completely lost Ji Wanmian. The overwhelming pain was undeniable.
In fact, from the moment she sat outside Ji Wanmian’s rental apartment and shed that tear, her heart had already changed.
She would forever love the girl who, in the evening breeze, would joyfully spin around just because she could hear her sing.
Three years ago, Xiaomian would be overjoyed by a single word from her, would continuously praise her cuteness, would watch TV and eat with her, and would finish her work as quickly as possible to spend time with her.
Thinking of those memories, Pei Jinyue’s lips always curled upwards, and her heart swelled with joy.
But soon, her smile slowly faded, she lowered her eyes, tightened her sleeves, regretting what a beastly thing she had done before.
While Ji Wanmian was eagerly awaiting her response, at that moment, her mind was only focused on how to quickly find Su Nian in Sucheng and fulfill her long-held obsession. She would only trample on Ji Wanmian’s sincerity, even though Xiaomian had almost laid her love on the table, she turned a blind eye, deaf to Xiaomian’s repeated complaints and sorrows, treating it all as mere amusement.
She even, for her momentary desire, caused Xiaomian to…
Pei Jinyue closed her eyes, angrily slapping her forehead.
To be honest, it wasn’t that no one had advised her to just find someone else to like. If all else failed, just find someone with a similar personality and appearance to Ji Wanmian. But Pei Jinyue simply wouldn’t listen. She even got angry and fought with the person who suggested it. She, who usually grudged even speaking two extra words to people, at that moment, with messy hair, loudly declared, “No one can replace Ji Wanmian!”
But the person who was hit smiled and said, “Miss Pei, do you have the nerve to say that?”
Pei Jinyue froze, her heart suddenly trembled, her breathing hitched, and the hand that wanted to slap that person hung in mid-air, unable to fall.
Because that person was right. Anyone had the right to say that, but Pei Jinyue didn’t.
She had absolutely no right to say those words.
So, no matter how Xiaomian treated her now, she deserved it.
In the past, she was a complete scumbag.
Even after three years, she had changed her personality, but the harm she inflicted on Xiaomian could not be mended overnight.
She picked up a small notebook, opened to the third page, and neatly wrote down—
“Fourth rejection: Xiaomian still didn’t want to talk to me today, but she instinctively reached out to help me up. Overall, I’m still happy.”
She flipped back, recalling the previous rejection records.
“First rejection: After much searching, I found out about Xiaomian. I was very happy. It happened to be her birthday, and I wanted to give her a surprise. But later I realized I might have caused her trouble. I thought it was because Xiaomian and I hadn’t seen each other in a long time, plus there were many people in the hotpot restaurant, so it was inconvenient for her to talk to me. But in the bakery, she still didn’t really want to talk to me, and even said she would never love me again. I was very sad, but I didn’t dare to follow her, afraid she would get angry again.”
Pei Jinyue now recalls the scene of her first rejection, she can only silently shake her head.
She must have been crazy to think of reuniting with Ji Wanmian in such a way.
No wonder Xiaomian would call her shameless. Thinking about it this way, her actions were completely without consideration for Xiaomian, entirely to satisfy her desired grand entrance. She deserved to be scolded.
Her inherent confidence made her believe that she would get whatever she wanted, no matter what. And it was precisely because she got whatever she wanted that she developed a possessive personality, and consequently lost many important people and things.
Pei Jinyue turned to the second rejection record.
“Second rejection: I heard that girls are very happy when they receive flowers. I originally didn’t like flowers, but I remembered Ji Wanmian looking at them a few times when passing a flower shop and even praising some of them as beautiful, so I wanted to bring flowers to see her. But for some reason, Xiaomian, who would still say a few words to me on my birthday, completely ignored me today. I don’t know what I did wrong, so I had to go home, not daring to wait for Xiaomian downstairs at the apartment complex anymore, afraid of disturbing her life.”
Seeing this, Pei Jinyue took out the pink rose from her bag. It had already wilted, its petals shaky, no longer as dazzling as before.
The flower withered, and along with it, her former arrogant self also withered.
She placed the flower on the table, and then closed the notebook, no longer looking at the third rejection record.
The first two times, at least Xiaomian was just angry and unwilling to talk much with her. But the third time was different. This time, there was another person between them, and it was obvious that person had an exceptionally good relationship with Xiaomian, so close that it was like…
Pei Jinyue shook her head, not wanting to think too deeply, as if by not thinking about that layer, the person’s relationship with Xiaomian wouldn’t be as she feared.
Although she knew her actions were akin to burying her head in the sand, she couldn’t help but feel upset, a deep-seated fear, a thousand times more terrifying than when she couldn’t find news of Su Nian, dreading that her guess might come true and her only wish would be dashed.
Just then, Pei Jinyue’s phone suddenly rang, startling her so much that her heart almost skipped a beat. After a moment, she took out her phone from her bag and looked at the caller ID, still somewhat dazed.
It was Qi Wanwan.
Ever since she learned that Pei Yan had approached Qi Wanwan and discovered her search for Su Nian, she had changed her SIM card and reduced contact with Qi Wanwan. However, later, when she had just run away from the Pei family with no money, Qi Wanwan came to her, saying she wanted to make amends for what she had done before. Pei Jinyue, feeling helpless at the time, trusted Qi Wanwan and contacted her with her new number.
Pei Jinyue was already annoyed and didn’t bother to think too much. Just before the ringing stopped, she answered the call.
“Pei… Sister Pei.” Qi Wanwan’s voice was muffled, and a clear swallowing sound could even be heard.
Pei Jinyue frowned: “Speak.”
“I’m sorry! But please don’t hang up!” Qi Wanwan seemed to blurt out the entire sentence in one breath, as if gathering courage, and then rustling sounds came from the phone.
Pei Jinyue was about to ask for clarification, but upon hearing the voice from the other end of the phone, she paused for a moment, then pinched the flesh of her palm with her fingertips, and replied, “You still haven’t given up looking for me, Ms. Pei Yan.”
She was indeed shocked for two seconds when she first heard the voice, but this also confirmed her suspicion—Pei Yan had found Qi Wanwan again.
Pei Yan said sternly, “Jinyue, if you come back now, I can let bygones be bygones.”
Hearing this, Pei Jinyue scoffed, saying each word distinctly: “Who. Cares.”
“Don’t think I don’t know how much you suffered outside after leaving home in a fit of pique without a penny,” Pei Yan said. “You, a child who grew up pampered, making bread for others outside, aren’t you afraid of being laughed at?”
Pei Jinyue leaned back against the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. The pristine white wall flashed with frames of memories of going hungry and suffering, but she didn’t feel sorry for herself. She hadn’t looked back or stopped on this path. She had to find her sister, and she had to love Xiaomian.
Pei Yan didn’t get a response from Pei Jinyue, so she had to back down: “Alright, if you bring your sister back with you, the arranged marriage won’t be necessary. You and Siche can do whatever you want, and still enjoy your lives.”
Pei Jinyue was silent for a while, but she didn’t agree to the request. Instead, she asked, “Can we still like the people we want to like?”
“No! Always thinking about who you like or don’t like! Being emotional, you’ll never achieve anything great!” Pei Yan said indignantly, “Besides, do you two really have to like those two women? You’re throwing away a promising future and a life of luxury and comfort, just to suffer and be scolded. What’s the point?”
What’s the point…
Pei Jinyue curled her lips. This reminded her of what she had asked Ji Wanmian before.
What else could be the point of enduring hunger, cold, and hardship, of bravely pursuing something without looking back?
She replied, “Because I like them. As long as I like them, it’s worth it.”
Pei Yan grew more and more angry: “Love can’t make you happy. I’ve always acted solely from a position of self-interest, which is why I’ve achieved what I have today. I can’t understand how I could have given birth to two such emotional children.”
“Mom.” This was the first time in many years that Pei Jinyue had called Pei Yan “Mother” in front of her.
Even Pei Yan, who was still fuming, was stunned for a moment.
“Children will resemble their mothers to some extent,” Pei Jinyue looked out the window. In the pitch blackness, faint distant lights flickered. “If you don’t understand emotions, why did you agree three years ago to let me find Su Nian, and propose the condition of giving up Ji Wanmian and completely cutting ties with her?”
Pei Yan’s voice trembled slightly: “Pei Jinyue, don’t say anymore.”
Pei Jinyue ignored her words, continuing to look into the distance, saying, “You clearly saw that I had already fallen in love with Ji Wanmian at that time. You wanted to completely root out the problem while I hadn’t fully realized it, pretending to be thinking of my well-being, but actually trying to eliminate any potential trouble.”
For the first time, Pei Yan lost some emotional control, unable to speak a complete sentence: “I told you… don’t say…”
“Mom, my mom.” Pei Jinyue called out several times, uttering the words that had been suppressed in her heart for many years, “You lost the person you loved, so you want your children to lose theirs too?”
“I told you to stop talking!” Pei Yan was completely enraged. After hanging up the phone, she angrily threw it far away.
Qi Wanwan, standing nearby, gasped, almost crying from heartache, but knowing that Pei Yan was in a bad mood, she had no choice but to swallow her own pain.
“I’ll transfer the money for the phone to you,” Pei Yan stood by the window, enduring the cold wind, now much more rational. She softly said, “You can go now, and don’t tell anyone what you heard today.”
Qi Wanwan was quietly taking out the SIM card from her phone. Upon hearing Pei Yan’s words, she quickly assented and hurried away.
The distant lights flickered on and off, for unknown reasons.
Pei Yan lowered her gaze, recalling Pei Jinyue’s words, especially the latter sentence, which felt like a sharp thorn piercing her heart.
Loss…
Qi Wanwan hadn’t gone far when she heard footsteps behind her again.
Pei Yan looked at the flickering lights outside the window, thinking it was Qi Wanwan returning, so she didn’t turn around and said directly, “Did you forget something?”
“Mrs. Pei, we found Miss Pei Siche.”
Hearing the voice of the person behind her, Pei Yan’s heart suddenly trembled. She turned and asked the person behind her, “Where?”
The person replied, “In a hospital in the neighboring city.”
Pei Yan quickly walked over, her voice trembling as she asked, “Why is she in the hospital? What happened to her?”
The person lowered their head and said nothing.
Pei Yan staggered back several steps, the inexplicable fear that arose making her extremely uncomfortable. She accidentally bumped into the window, feeling a sharp pain.
She turned her head, intending to draw the curtains, only to find—
The distant, flickering lights no longer shone.
In Nancheng, the light outside Pei Jinyue’s window also stopped flickering.
She walked away from the window, feeling a little hungry. She wanted to get something to eat, only to find that there was no oil left at home.
No oil, and a broken light, reminded her of a phrase—the lamp running out of oil.
Pei Jinyue smiled, then dismissed the phrase from her mind.
They were all still so young, and no one was sick. What was there to talk about the lamp running out of oil?
Pei Jinyue didn’t bother to find anything more to eat. She simply returned to her small desk, picked up her drawing pen, and prepared to draw.
Suddenly, the small box on her desk was blown to the ground by the wind, spilling out a pile of fragmented items.
Pei Jinyue got up to close the window, then bent down to pick up the fallen items, and found a familiar bracelet.
It was given to her by Pei Siche.
More than ten years ago, she was chased by bad people because of this bracelet. She had thought she had thrown it away in a fit of anger long ago, but unexpectedly, it was still in this rarely opened small box.
Come to think of it, she hadn’t properly asked Pei Siche what exactly happened that year.
But it didn’t matter. Since they made up on New Year’s Eve last time, they had been in frequent contact.
There was plenty of time to ask.
Pei Jinyue didn’t dwell on past memories anymore. She intended to pick up the bracelet and examine it for any wear and tear.
But as soon as she picked it up, the bracelet broke…
Why would such a bracelet break?
Pei Jinyue blinked, dazed for a long time.
She felt an inexplicable sadness in her heart, so she carefully put the bracelet back in the box, stood up, and poured herself a glass of water to drink.
“Gulp, gulp—”
At this very moment, all of Ji Wanmian’s water had spilled onto the painting meant for Lu Yu.
Having just finished scrolling through short videos, she had intended to simply fall asleep. But then she remembered what Pei Jinyue had said at the apartment complex entrance about Lu Yu and Pei Siche, feeling a mix of worry and admiration.
Young people were like that: impulsive yet brave, reckless yet passionate, unyielding yet persistent.
Lost in thought, she felt thirsty and got up to pour herself a glass of water. But somehow, when she reached her desk, her foot slipped, and the items in her hand naturally became unstable. Coincidentally, last time, for Wen Su’s selection, she had placed all her paintings on top. When the water glass fell, all the water spilled onto the paintings.
Right on target.
Ji Wanmian steadied herself and quickly picked up the water glass, finding it almost empty.
She had thought these paintings held no special meaning and wasn’t too worried. But upon picking one up, she realized the top one was the one meant for Xiaoyu.
Ji Wanmian sighed. Although she had painted all these pictures, this one was specifically painted as a gift, so it naturally held a different emotion.
If she were to paint an identical one now, without the same feelings from that time, it would still be somewhat different.
She thought as she used paper to wipe the water off the painting.
Perhaps she used too much force, for the paper actually tore.
A hole was poked through the pink fish.
It looked so pitiful.