After the Breakup, the Possessive Heiress Regretted It - Chapter 37
Chapter 37: No Tomorrow
There are many sorrows in this world that are hard to bear. Parting is not feared; with love, there will be reunion. But only separation by death is a fatal blow. People often think that there will be a tomorrow, that some words, some things can wait to be said later.
But some partings have no tomorrow.
Ji Wanmian learned of Pei Siche’s death more than ten days later.
It was the first time she felt “death” was so close to her. She always thought death was a distant thing, as if she could eternally believe herself a child, never grow up or mature, and thus never face such pain.
But no matter how afraid, what was bound to happen still did.
Even if it all came without warning, catching her off guard.
Just a few days ago, Ji Wanmian had seen Xiaoyu’s WeChat Moments post a few pictures announcing her relationship. At that time, she had chuckled, thinking to herself, Although this single dog doesn’t want to see public displays of affection, it’s good to see Xiaoyu happy.
But why, in just a few days, did everything change?
The vibrant life in the picture was forever fixed in a black and white photograph.
She still remembered her first impression of Pei Siche: serious, unsmiling, looking fierce, yet wearing a small fish necklace that didn’t match her temperament.
Although she was afraid of Pei Siche because she resembled Pei Yan, she could also tell that Pei Siche would definitely become an excellent person.
Unexpectedly, she left so early.
Ji Wanmian sighed, lying on the sofa, quietly looking up at the ceiling, her mind filled with complex thoughts.
Even she, who had only met Pei Siche once, felt this sad, let alone Xiaoyu and the Pei family…
She first called Lu Yu several times, but no one answered.
A sudden panic arose in her heart. She wanted to go and find her, but then remembered Pei Jinyue saying that Xiaoyu had gone to find Pei Siche. In that case, she probably wouldn’t be in her original city of residence, and finding her might be difficult.
Ji Wanmian truly didn’t know what to do; the feeling of powerlessness was the most painful.
Feeling depressed, she naturally wasn’t in the mood to work. She casually put on a hat and went out for a walk to clear her head.
She walked with her head down, taking a long roundabout route. As she walked, she looked up and found herself by the river.
The riverside nights used to be lively, with many vendors setting up stalls, the air filled with enticing aromas. Most passersby would stop to buy food. But recently, it had been continuously raining, the weather grew colder, and there were fewer pedestrians, so it seemed exceptionally desolate at the moment.
Ji Wanmian had no intention of lingering, afraid of catching a cold if she stayed out in the chilly wind. But just as she turned to leave, she saw a familiar figure walking towards the riverbank.
She recognized her at a glance: it was Pei Jinyue.
Ji Wanmian’s steps halted. She originally wanted to just walk away, pretending not to see her, but she couldn’t help but feel worried. So, she followed her innermost feelings, choosing to turn around and walk towards Pei Jinyue.
“Are you… okay?”
Pei Jinyue, hearing the voice, looked back in surprise, then shook her head, pulled her hat brim lower, and said nothing.
Ji Wanmian didn’t know what to say either. She stood still, not getting closer.
After a moment of silence, Pei Jinyue placed her hand on the bracelet in her bag and spoke in a hoarse voice: “I came back to pick something up. I have a flight tonight. Do you… have anything you want to say to Lu Yu? If I can meet her, I can tell her for you.”
Ji Wanmian lowered her head. Ever since she learned of Pei Siche’s death, she hadn’t been able to contact Lu Yu. She couldn’t help but want to check on her, but now that she had the chance to relay a message, she couldn’t say a word. Should she say those empty words like try to be positive, it’s okay, everything will pass, look forward? These words are easy to say, but the person truly facing everything endures far greater pain than others see. Perhaps this sadness weighing on her heart could even cause her to…
So, the only thing she wanted was: “Please confirm that Xiaoyu didn’t… try to take her own life because of this. You don’t need to say anything else.”
As she uttered those two words, Ji Wanmian was somewhat reluctant, but she was also afraid that Xiaoyu, who she couldn’t reach, might actually do such a thing.
Pei Jinyue agreed and didn’t linger. She stepped back two paces, left with a simple “I’m leaving first,” and departed.
Ji Wanmian watched her retreating figure, wanting to call out, but felt she had no comforting words to offer. She simply lowered her head, turned around, and walked in the other direction.
With every step, she felt an unusual sense of panic.
She turned her head to look at the flowing water and suddenly remembered the small fish on the drawing paper that had been poked through from wiping too hard.
It won’t happen, everything will be fine.
Ji Wanmian returned home, lay on her bed, comforting herself over and over again.
Finally, after suffering from insomnia until 5 AM, she still climbed out of bed, picked up her phone. Although she knew the other side wouldn’t answer, she still made the call.
This time, the other side actually picked up.
“Wanmian?”
It wasn’t until Lu Yu spoke first that Ji Wanmian confirmed she had actually gotten through this time.
“Xiaoyu, are you okay?” Ji Wanmian asked anxiously after collecting herself.
Lu Yu replied concisely: “No.”
Ji Wanmian said “Ah,” and was about to say something more when Lu Yu interrupted her.
“But I won’t do anything reckless,” Lu Yu added. “It’s quite a coincidence, Pei Jinyue just talked to me a lot too. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone before because I was heartbroken, but what I’m thinking now is that Pei Siche said she only knew work for the past few years and never went out to play. Although she’s already… but I still want to fulfill her wish.”
Ji Wanmian was a little worried: “Are you going alone?”
Lu Yu replied, “Yes, going alone. I sold my supermarket to someone else, and I still have some money.”
Ji Wanmian wanted to say something more, but felt that Lu Yu had made up her mind, and further persuasion would be futile. She decided to let Lu Yu go; it might also help her clear her mind.
After a few more casual words, Lu Yu hung up the phone.
Ji Wanmian put down her phone, not intending to sleep, but instead turned her head to look at the sky outside the window.
Winter days begin late, and dawn was still far away.
It was pitch black.
Not a single light was on in the Pei family home.
And no one was asleep.
In this dark night, Pei Jinyue caressed the letter Pei Siche left her. Her eyes were swollen and painful, almost unable to shed more tears. Her head was buzzing, unable to recall anything, yet remembering every sentence in the letter, especially the line, “Actually, I didn’t break our promise; I just ran into my father who came looking for money again. I was afraid he would hurt you, so I didn’t stay in the park.”
The truth was this simple, but due to her years of aversion towards Pei Siche, in the end, she never got to hear these words directly from Pei Siche herself.
She no longer blamed Pei Siche, nor would she resent Pei Siche because of Pei Yan’s favoritism…
But she could no longer apologize.
Pei Yan also lost the chance to receive Pei Siche’s forgiveness.
Even if she kept disbelieving that all this was real, telling herself it was just a dream over and over, every sleepless night, her tears of regret would tell her that she had lost her eldest daughter, Pei Siche.
At first, she also blamed Lu Yu, even pushing all the fault onto Lu Yu, believing that Pei Siche’s escape caused such a serious illness.
But that wasn’t it.
The facts couldn’t deceive her.
Pei Siche ran for herself; she didn’t want to be anyone’s puppet anymore. She wanted to be a living person. She didn’t want to involve Lu Yu, which is why she didn’t tell her. After Lu Yu found her, they stayed together, promising never to separate again. Pei Siche even mustered the courage to go home with Lu Yu to explain things to their family, but it was at this time that her condition worsened.
It turned out Pei Siche had symptoms many years ago, but she didn’t want to get checked, fearing it would delay her work. She took medication to keep going, dragging it out until it became more and more serious.
After hearing all this, Pei Yan still didn’t believe it and kept questioning Lu Yu: “Why didn’t she come home when her condition worsened later? I could have taken care of her if she had come home!”
Lu Yu only said, “She said she wanted to do things that made her happy in the last moments of her life.”
Hearing this, Pei Yan angrily slammed the table and raised her voice, “Was she unhappy with me?”
Lu Yu remained silent, and Pei Jinyue also turned her head away.
No one uttered a word.
Silence, too, was an answer.
This meant that Pei Siche was only unhappy when she was by her side.
Pei Yan now completely understood that her so-called “being good to her children” had, in the end, become the reason for the mother-daughter separation.
She lifted her head, not wanting the tears to fall, but today’s tears simply wouldn’t stop, as if her child could no longer be held onto.
The former her always believed that as long as she arranged everything for her children, even without asking their feelings beforehand, they would naturally understand her painstaking efforts and certainly understand her as a mother later on.
She forbade Pei Jinyue from singing and Pei Siche from dancing, painstakingly making her children do things she deemed satisfactory. Pei Siche was obedient from a young age and never touched her dance shoes again after being told. But Pei Jinyue was disobedient. Forbidden to sing, she secretly learned to paint behind her back, stubbornly choosing a path that would surely anger her.
Now that she thought about it, she actually wished Pei Siche had been more disobedient like her younger sister. Perhaps then, she wouldn’t have delayed her illness for so long, could have sought treatment earlier, and wouldn’t have…
Pei Yan could no longer hold her head up. She buried her face and sobbed softly.
No matter how long the night, mixed with tears, it still welcomed the dawn.
When the light pierced through the curtain’s gap, her swollen eyes opened painfully, carrying longing, and another new tomorrow awoke.
Before officially setting off, Lu Yu returned to the convenience store where she and Pei Siche first met, and walked past the bus stop where they had waited together.
She had no specific plan, only remembering some cities Pei Siche had mentioned. Naturally, she didn’t have much luggage. The only important things in her bag were the small fish necklace and a photo of her and Pei Siche.
Suddenly, she didn’t know if it was because her head ached from crying, or her eyes were blurry, or if her foot slipped, but as she walked, she suddenly fell to the ground.
Hiss—
The back of her hand was scraped raw, a stinging pain.
The pain felt like she was back three years ago, when she fell to the ground while holding her groceries.
She tried to struggle to her feet, but in a daze, she seemed to see a hand reaching out to her.
She looked up, as if seeing an old friend.
But today, she couldn’t grasp that hand no matter what.
With just a blink, the old friend completely disappeared.
You still left.
Pei Siche.