After Transmigrating as a Scumbag Gong, I Ended Up with the Cannon Fodder - Chapter 20

Because, apart from Yin Man, she had no one else to rely on.

Liu Siyin wholeheartedly trusted Yin Man. From the moment Yin Man proposed marriage and brought her from the Liu Family, Yin Man had been her only anchor.

Everyone said Yin Man was cruel, but perhaps that was because she had rarely encountered kindness in her life. To Liu Siyin, Yin Man’s kindness was already extraordinary. Yin Youxia had also been good to her; though she didn’t like her, she never bullied her during their engagement. Yin Zhe, though he felt Liu Siyin wasn’t worthy of Yin Man, never showed her any malice.

Outsiders spoke of the Yin Family’s terrifying reputation. Back at the Liu Family, they warned her never to cross the Yins, calling them “ghost-fearing demons”—demons so fearsome that even ghosts trembled before them, let alone humans.

Yet the Yin Family felt far warmer than the Liu Family, at least to her.

Still, she could sense Yin Man’s unstable temperament, fluctuating between good and bad moods, though the good times far outnumbered the bad.

“Si Yin,” Yin Man murmured, as if to herself, “if you enjoy a certain way of life, shouldn’t you also bear its responsibilities?”

Liu Siyin overheard and took the question to heart. She always answered Yin Man’s questions with utmost seriousness.

“Responsibility is an inherent part of life,” Liu Siyin said. Take herself, for example. No matter how much she disliked the Liu Family, how much she feared Liu Mei, or how desperately she longed to escape, she had no choice but to obey. Her mother still relied on the Liu Family’s financial support, and she herself had been raised by them. She had learned much, though none of it was to her liking, but she was undeniably fulfilling her responsibilities.

Perhaps this analogy wasn’t perfect, but it was like the princesses in history who were sent to foreign lands for political marriages, or the nobles who forged alliances through arranged marriages. No one had the right to enjoy privileges without bearing responsibilities.

That was Liu Siyin’s firm belief.

Yin Man shared some of this sentiment, but at her core, she remained a selfish person. As an orphan, she had only ever needed to care for herself. She had never experienced familial bonds or the responsibility of caring for others.

But now everything was different. She had become someone else—a person with power, status, and a family.

Originally, she had only planned to take the money and escape this place with Liu Siyin. But when she saw Yin Youxia’s breakdown and witnessed everyone’s cold treatment of her, she suddenly felt compelled to make amends for the Original Host’s past mistakes.

Yet Yin Youxia had clearly suffered deep psychological trauma. Could mere amends truly resolve such profound damage?

Yin Man wasn’t sure.

As for Mei Xuying, she might not be a hypocrite. Perhaps she simply harbored an irreconcilable hatred for the Original Host, buried deep in her heart. The very act of feigning affection while harboring such loathing made her seem disingenuous.

Yin Man didn’t necessarily need an answer; she wanted a way to alleviate her guilt. This wasn’t the Original Host’s conscience, nor was it her own shame. But as their memories merged and her personality shifted, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had wronged Yin Youxia.

A perfectly normal young girl had been driven to madness.

She was no longer a reader, no longer able to judge characters from a detached, omniscient perspective. She was now a character in the story, and even the smallest action could trigger a butterfly effect, completely derailing the plot.

If things continued like this, would she end up erasing even Yin Youxia’s feelings for Mei Xuying?

Yin Man recalled the way Mei Xuying had looked at Jiang Yan, and a chill ran down her spine.

“Si Yin, should we move out?”

Liu Siyin looked puzzled. “Didn’t we say we’d wait until my legs recover?”

Originally, they had planned to move out once Yin Man regained her mobility—either by standing up herself or when Liu Siyin regained his sight—so they could manage their own lives. But the crumbling plot reminded her that if she didn’t act now, Yin Youxia’s world would lose its only light.

Because Liu Siyin hadn’t died, many plot points from the original story hadn’t developed, and Mei Xuying’s protective actions toward Yin Youxia were significantly reduced. Now, Mei Xuying and Jiang Yan were even suspected of having an affair.

Yin Man wasn’t being noble; she was simply plagued by guilt.

She dreaded the unfolding plot, fearing her downfall, yet she was equally uneasy about the story’s complete collapse. Wasn’t the unknown more terrifying? It would be better to follow the original plot; at least she could still rely on her partial memories.

Moreover, Mei Xuying was likely the last warmth in Yin Youxia’s life.

“Since Youxia is so afraid of dogs, I think it’s best if Xiao You and I live separately from her,” Yin Man said, sounding remarkably virtuous. Liu Siyin agreed readily, “Sister Man, I’ll do as you say.”

Liu Siyin was docile and obedient, clinging to Yin Man’s side like the ideal wife in her imagination. Yet something was missing. Yin Man remarked, “Don’t you think we don’t feel like a couple? You’re too agreeable.”

“But isn’t a wife supposed to be obedient?” There should be some arguments, some friction. It’s friction that sparks passion. Though she lacked experience, she had read countless books and watched countless dramas—that’s how love always blossomed.

They should be burning with passion, deeply in love, not lying in bed together without a spark of desire.

But Yin Man didn’t know how to explain this to Liu Siyin. She couldn’t just pull out a book and point, saying, “Learn this now!”

Liu Siyin wouldn’t just think she was crazy; she’d think she was a pervert. Besides, Liu Siyin couldn’t even see right now.

After a moment’s thought, Yin Man asked, “Does your aunt listen to your uncle like this too?”

“Aunt and Uncle don’t live together. Aunt lives with Second Aunt.”

“…” Yin Man was speechless. “Doesn’t your uncle care?”

“Why would he care? Aunt and Uncle have their own lives. Uncle has two illegitimate children.”

“…” Yin Man was utterly speechless. She’d forgotten that this world was crawling with Scum Gongs. This damned worldview was shattering her own values.

“What about your mother?” Yin Man asked, then immediately clamped her mouth shut. “Never mind. Don’t answer that.”

Her future mother-in-law, a woman who became someone’s mistress at a young age, certainly couldn’t have instilled any healthy values in Liu Siyin. In this world, marriage was just a piece of paper. Even after marriage, everyone carried on with their own affairs. There was no lifelong devotion, no selfless love, and no faithful, devoted partners.

Everyone here is either cheating or on the path to cheating. Perhaps in their eyes, it’s not even considered infidelity—just following the desires of their hearts.

No wonder Yin Youxia indirectly caused Liu Siyin’s death in this godforsaken place, and they’re still considered the “pure” ones.

As a normal person raised with the belief in lifelong devotion, this place completely shattered her worldview.

“Sister Man, are you upset?” Liu Siyin asked. Yin Man hadn’t said a word or made the slightest movement, yet Liu Siyin could sense her emotions. Did she possess some kind of mind-reading ability?

Yin Man’s puzzled gaze locked onto Liu Siyin. That didn’t seem likely either.

Liu Siyin’s fair, unadorned face was strikingly beautiful, smooth as tender tofu beneath her fingertips. Even the slightest pressure felt like it could crush her. Yin Man murmured, “Liu Siyin, you mustn’t become like them.”

“Hmm?”

“Cheating, being fickle, indulging in casual affairs—none of that is acceptable.” Yin Man resolved to reshape Liu Siyin’s values, believing there was still hope for her. After all, during her engagement to Yin Youxia, Liu Siyin had been single-mindedly focused on marrying Youxia. Though it was also possible she was simply afraid of the Yin Family.

Before the wedding had even taken place, she was already worrying about being cuckolded.

“You’re not allowed to be like them. By the same logic, you can demand the same of me.”

“Really?” Liu Siyin asked, incredulous.

Her mother had told her that there was no such thing as wholehearted devotion in this world, that most married men still chased after pleasure. Yet her father’s wife loved him deeply—so deeply that she couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else near him. This love twisted into hatred, leading her to destroy Chen Si’s eyes.

Even after being blinded, Chen Si didn’t hate the woman. She simply stroked Liu Siyin’s face and murmured, “Si Yin, if only someone could love you like that.”

At the time, she dismissed it as her mother’s mad ramblings. But after joining the Liu Family and living with the woman, she finally understood the depth of that solemn devotion.

Liu Mei and the others kept many male and female lovers, their affairs tangled and messy. The woman seemed like an outsider in that household, confined to her room where she embroidered. Her needlework depicted paired lotus blossoms and mandarin ducks—never a trio.

Her embroidery skills were renowned, and many sought her work. Yet she only embroidered when her father asked, using her creations to curry favor for him. Only his request could draw her from her room. She had loved only her father and slept only with him.

But Father remained forever lost in his sensual pleasures, his mind occupied with countless other desires beyond contemplation. The Madam had a son who was the spitting image of his father—a man of no accomplishments and a spendthrift. He had been betrothed, but when the Madam went to inspect the bridal chamber, she discovered four men and women lying together in bed, her son among them. She forcibly annulled the engagement and severed all ties with him.

Liu Mei dismissed her as mentally unstable, but the Madam ignored her, filing for divorce. Having married into the Liu family beneath her station, no one dared stop her from leaving.

As she departed the Liu residence, she left only these words: “I am different from you all. From childhood, I was taught self-respect and fidelity. Marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, not a communal affair.”

Liu Siyin remembered those words vividly. She believed in their truth. She had read in books of the beauty of unwavering, lifelong devotion to a single person. Yet reality was different; none of them considered adding another’s name to the story of love a sin.

“Of course, love should be exclusive. A story between two people shouldn’t involve a third.”

Yin Man’s words echoed in her mind, overlapping with the Madam’s. Yin Man had once again offered her an elusive, unattainable dream.

“Sister Man, I believe in you.”

Yin Man had no idea what Liu Siyin was thinking, only that her own moral compass wouldn’t allow her to act recklessly, and she wanted Liu Siyin to do the same. Pinching her soft cheek, she said, “I trust you too. From now on, you’re only allowed to like me, got it?”

“Why from now on?”

“We just met. Feelings need time to develop.” Her words pierced Liu Siyin’s heart like needles, leaving her restless even after falling asleep. In the dead of night, Liu Siyin woke up from a nightmare and groped for Yin Man’s face in the darkness, tracing her delicate skin until she found Yin Man’s lips. She leaned in.

When her lips touched Yin Man’s, tears streamed down her face.

“So, Sister Man, you don’t like me yet.”

But she already liked Yin Man so, so much—for the sense of security she provided, for appearing in her life like a savior, for the ethereal dreams she spoke of.

She loved Yin Man deeply, but Yin Man didn’t love her back.