Aki Apricot Juvenile - Chapter 7

(Jiang Ji’s Version)

If love were an illness, then I must have long since fallen beyond cure hopelessly, completely.

Before meeting Qiu Xingyou, I used to think love was nothing more than a spice in life. Sweet or bitter, it wasn’t something you could rely on. In the end, no matter how long the road stretched ahead, you had to walk it alone. Happiness, sadness were both burdens you carried yourself. A partner was important, yes, but love was something that had to come naturally. You couldn’t force it.

And yet, I was a coward. I’ve always known it. I could never be that kind of man who lets go gracefully. I’ve never been able to stop thinking about him Qiu Xingyou.

From the very first moment I saw him, I liked him. But I also knew one thing: love that burns too quickly fades too fast. Eternal love, if it exists at all, has to be nurtured slowly. So I planned it carefully moving into the same dorm as him, waiting patiently for half a year before finally confessing.

I once heard a line in a movie: “Loving someone is like hell. And if that love depends on beauty, it’s hell within hell.” A goldfish only has value when it’s trapped inside its bowl that’s what makes it “a goldfish.”

That’s me. I’ve spent years drifting through the entertainment world, relying on this face. But how many people love my music me for what I truly am? That’s the sorrow of being a singer.

Qiu Xingyou left for years. I missed him constantly, but what good did it do? We once swore to be together till the end of time, yet I’m the one who left him covered in scars. Looking back, maybe I really was no different from those heartless men I used to despise.

After he left, it felt like my soul had been hollowed out. My heart, emptied. Everything I once was seemed to follow him and never came back.

After April Fool’s Day, I remembered it was the anniversary of his parents’ death. I knew he would go to their grave. I thought, if I go too, maybe I’ll see him again.

It had been so long since we last met. I wanted to go to him, but the courage just wasn’t there.

That morning, the sky was a soft gray, and a fine misty rain fell without end. The cemetery was shrouded in fog, like a scene from an old film. If, in that moment, Qiu Xingyou had been a vampire who’d lived a thousand years, I would have gladly offered up my flesh and bl00d to keep him alive just to stay by his side. Even if it meant being reborn as nothing more than a dog, I would have accepted it without hesitation.

My thoughts drifted with the rain. By afternoon, I saw a black car slowly approach. Qiu Xingyou and Meng Li stepped out, their arms full of offerings.

I wanted to go to him. I really did. But my feet wouldn’t move. I was terrified terrified that he’d avoid me, that he’d turn away. So I stayed there in my car, watching silently from behind the tinted window, thinking that if I could just watch him from afar for a little while longer, it would be enough. Better to be unseen than unwanted.

Through that dark glass, I never took my eyes off him.

I watched him feed the paper money into the small brazier, his lips moving in words I couldn’t hear. I watched his tears fall one by one into the ash. Each drop felt like it landed on my chest, scorching. My heart ached like a fish thrown onto dry land, gasping for air, helpless.

And then his face turned pale, his body swayed, and he collapsed.

I threw open the door and ran to him, shouting his name again and again, but his eyes remained closed.

Meng Li and I carried him into the car, rushing toward the hospital. I followed behind them all the way just as I had once promised him long ago: As long as you still love me, as long as I still have you, I’ll follow you anywhere. Heaven or hell it doesn’t matter.

Jiang Ji’s Point of View

I followed Meng Li’s car all the way to the hospital. Qiu Xingyou looked so fragile lying there, his face pale and lips cracked. I wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief, watching the doctors inject him with fever medicine again and again. Each time his brow furrowed in pain, my heart clenched harder.

If I could, I would have taken all that suffering onto myself.

I stayed by his side for two days. His condition was unstable, and since neither Meng Li nor I was family, the doctors wouldn’t tell us much. They only said his high fever had been caused by exposure and exhaustion.

During the day, his temperature would drop slightly, but at night it always spiked again. Watching the IV drip into his arm, bottle after bottle, I felt useless. Meng Li and I took turns watching him, though, truthfully, Meng Li was too stubborn to rest. We ended up staying together, keeping vigil by his bed, while my assistant brought food and drinks from outside.

On the second day, his fever finally broke, though a faint warmth still lingered on his skin. It was just before dawn when he opened his eyes. Only then did I dare to breathe again.

He looked at me coldly, said nothing. I knew he had long lost faith in me. Still, I also knew deep down, somewhere in his heart, my name hadn’t faded completely.

Now that he’s back, I swear—I’ll never let go again.

Mini Theatre: The Universe Between You and Me (Part 2)

It had been two or three days since Qiu Xingyou and I arrived at that tiny village. Bored out of our minds, we spent our days playing cards though, honestly, we only knew how to play Solitaire.

On the fourth day, I suggested we take a walk up the nearby hills.

The village was far from Luozhou City, surrounded by rolling hills and open fields that stretched endlessly, like a green sea. After lunch instant noodles again we packed a backpack with bread, bottled water, and a small tent. We wanted to spend a night in the mountains, just to breathe in nature.

We walked and stopped, walked and stopped, until we found a large tree halfway up the hill. We sat side by side beneath it, leaning against the trunk.

“Qiu Xingyou,” I said.

“Mm?”

“I think love has nothing to do with gender. So… I think I love you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? What do you mean, okay?”

“Okay, we’re together.”

Their story had always been that simple.

If one of them spoke, the other never refused. If I like you, no matter what reasons the world gives, I’ll choose to be with you. But if I don’t, no matter how many good reasons you give me, I’ll still turn you down.

Two young men lying beneath a tree in the countryside, whispering the same promise again and again.
a vow to their own boundless, private universe.