Aki Apricot Juvenile - Chapter 8

That had been the most beautiful time of their lives yet they both loved too deeply, thought too little, and overanalyzed everything that should have simply been felt. After the brilliance fades, what’s left is loneliness. No one can live their entire life engulfed in flames. Like fireworks that dazzle for a brief moment, love too eventually fades into nothing but a flicker in memory.

The love between Qiu Xingyou and Jiang Ji had always been that simple.
Since they loved each other, why not be together?
But if love were really that simple, if merely loving someone were enough, the world would be a much gentler place.

“My love,” Jiang Ji once thought,
“If I could take your place, I’d rather be the one who falls, the one who suffers, the one who hurts.
If it means you could be loved, could run freely under the sun, could live long and happily.
That would be my greatest blessing for you.”

— Jiang Ji

“My leaving was because I loved you and because I was selfish,” Qiu Xingyou confessed.
“If I could, I wish I’d been the one who stayed by your side till the end.
Or maybe… it would’ve been better if we had never met.
But I’ll never stop loving you.
I’ll just make you realize loving me was the greatest mistake of your life.”

— Qiu Xingyou

After Qiu Xingyou recovered, Meng Li left for a long trip without saying where he was going, leaving Xingyou alone. Day after day, Qiu wandered through the park, unsure what to do with himself. When his birthday came, he found himself sitting there, lost, not knowing how to face the day.

At dusk, he sat on a park bench. The air was cool, the breeze soft and clean. A golden retriever bounded over, a small ball clamped between its teeth. It sat beside him, tail wagging. Qiu reached out his hand, and the dog dropped the ball into his palm.

“How cute,” he murmured.

“Yeah… really cute.”

Qiu turned around and Jiang Ji was standing right there beside him.

“You… why are you here?”

Jiang Ji took the ball from his hand and tossed it into the distance. The golden retriever sprinted after it. He sat down beside Qiu Xingyou and smiled.
“Happy birthday,” he said softly. “I… I missed you so much.”

He pulled out a small box and pressed it into Qiu’s hands. “Your gift.”

Inside was a delicate pinky ring. Jiang Ji gently slipped it onto Qiu’s finger, then lifted his own hand his little finger bore the same ring.
“Matching rings,” he said. “I know we can’t be together right now… not yet. But that’s okay. As long as we still have the chance to meet again later is fine. I can wait.”

“But what if I can’t?” Qiu whispered, resting his head on Jiang Ji’s shoulder.
For a moment, he thought how wonderful it was to touch him again. This time, he was really here.

The Next Morning

Sunlight poured through the curtains of the “Little Lucky” room, painting soft gold over the white sheets and over Jiang Ji’s sculpted face. The world was quiet, peaceful.

“Good morning,” Qiu said, nudging the still-sleeping Jiang Ji.
He blinked awake, his long lashes fluttering, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Good morning.”

He leaned in, pressed a gentle kiss on Qiu’s forehead, then playfully ran off the bed.

If this were a dream, Qiu thought, I hope I never wake up.
Jiang Ji thought the same.

They had believed their spring had already passed, that the cherry blossoms had long withered. Yet after all the storms, the blossoms bloomed once more quietly, tenderly, filling their hearts with joy.

“When I lost you,” Jiang Ji wrote,
“It felt like I’d lost my soul. I waited five years endlessly and finally found you again.
Your eyes are still as pure as the first day we met. Your soul, unchanged.
It feels like being reborn. You’ve always been the fire that keeps me alive.”

“I’m selfish. I’m greedy. I’m clumsy.
All I want… is to love you properly, one last time.”

— Qiu Xingyou