Before Going on a Variety Show, the Actress Lost Her Memory - Chapter 14

The moment Xi Xiuyun’s kiss, tinged with frustration and embarrassment, pressed against her, Yu Wenyu felt a wave of resentment surge through her.

Xi Xiuyun is angry? I’m not even angry! What’s she so mad about?

Xi Xiuyun’s words from just minutes earlier resurfaced with painful clarity. Yu Wenyu dissected each syllable, finding them even more unbearable than when she’d first heard them.

A cold liquid touched her cheek, jolting Xi Xiuyun awake. She saw Yu Wenyu turn her head away, refusing to meet her gaze.

Those eyes, glistening like they were submerged in water, were damp and flushed. Her lips parted slightly, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she struggled to regain her composure.

Xi Xiuyun’s heart clenched with a sudden, sharp pain—a relentless, needle-like ache that pierced her chest.

“Ayu, I…” Words seemed hollow, futile, like spilled water impossible to gather.

“I’m sorry, Ayu.” Xi Xiuyun buried her face in Yu Wenyu’s neck, neither speaking.

After an indeterminate stretch of silence, Xi Xiuyun had time to reflect. She realized that she shouldn’t keep so much hidden from Yu Wenyu.

They had grown up together, and Xi Xiuyun couldn’t bear to be apart from Yu Wenyu.

Just thinking about Yu Wenyu’s earlier words made Xi Xiuyun feel like she was suffocating. How could she ever accept the thought of someone else being by Yu Wenyu’s side one day?

Xi Xiuyun’s love had always been possessive, yet also painfully cautious.

In matters of the heart, all her obsessions ultimately backfired on herself, leaving her inner world in utter chaos. Yet she couldn’t bear to let go, nor could she learn how.

“Ayu, actually, I’ve always…”

“There won’t be another time. This is the last time,” Yu Wenyu’s muffled voice interrupted.

Xi Xiuyun froze, startled. Her confession, still unfinished, had been cut off.

Ayu… has she forgiven me?

“Xi Xiuyun, if you ever dare say again that you want to push me onto someone else, I’ll make good on everything I threatened earlier.”

Yu Wenyu stared at Xi Xiuyun, her eyes still red-rimmed, yet stubbornly meeting her gaze.

Don’t let go of me again, Xi Xiuyun. I need everything you’ve shown me.

“I won’t let go again,” Xi Xiuyun said firmly, her voice sincere as she addressed the skeptical comment in the live stream’s chat.

“So, Best Actress Xi, did you ever consider letting go?”

She was no longer the naive teenager of seventeen or eighteen, haunted by baseless fears and ready to push Yu Wenyu away at the slightest misstep.

Regardless of who Yu Wenyu might have loved in the past, Xi Xiuyun was the one by her side now, and the one Yu Wenyu loved in return.

As if sensing her gaze, Xi Xiuyun turned her head and met Yu Wenyu’s eyes.

Yu Wenyu’s gaze softened, her warm brown eyes reflecting Xi Xiuyun’s image with perfect clarity.

Xi Xiuyun’s heart melted. She chuckled softly, pressed her hand against the camera, and used her other hand to tilt Yu Wenyu’s chin up. She leaned in and gently kissed her.

Yu Wenyu’s lips were cool but soft. Xi Xiuyun couldn’t resist deepening the kiss, nipping lightly at her lips before holding her close for a lingering embrace.

Yu Wenyu’s eyes shimmered with a spring-like radiance, her red lips glistening like ripe fruit.

Her utterly yielding posture stirred Xi Xiuyun’s heart, nearly causing her to loosen her grip on the camera.

“Did they kiss? That was definitely a kiss!”

“Do they have some kind of skin hunger? They’re always kissing and cuddling.”

“It’s hard to imagine Best Actress Xi being such a kiss-obsessed maniac.”

“Hard to imagine, plus one! Do they just cling to each other all the time in private?”

“They’ve been dating for so many years and married for three, yet they’re still so sweet! I’m so jealous.”

“Their lipstick is smudged! Who gets it?! I’m going to rewatch the ship scenes and kiss scenes from Imperial Heart ten times! Aaaaaah!”

Yu Wenyu blushed slightly at the fans’ cheers, then became a detached question-answering machine.

She avoided looking at Xi Xiuyun, even though she could feel her occasional glances from the side.

“Any news on Imperial Heart 2? The Regent Aunt and the Eldest Princess, who endures and rebels, are such a perfect pairing!”

Seeing a fan ask about Imperial Heart 2, Yu Wenyu hesitated.

“Was the ending of Imperial Heart not satisfactory? Why does everyone want a second season?”

While Imperial Heart boasted stunning visuals and exceptional storytelling, it had also emotionally devastated countless fans.

In the Yin Dynasty, where women held supreme authority and men were subservient, Empress Fu Dai ascended the throne during an era of unprecedented national power.

The Empress personally led military campaigns, expanding the dynasty’s territory relentlessly. Vassals bowed their heads, offering their necks in submission, and entrusted their fates to imperial officials.

The Empress had few heirs. When Eldest Princess Fu Huai reached adulthood, she was formally designated as the heir apparent.

Ji Xin, the younger sister of the Empress’s consort Ji Cun and Fu Huai’s aunt, served as Prime Minister. Her power over the court and the realm was absolute.

Yet her eccentric personality drew criticism. Her face was said to be capable of toppling nations, her methods were ruthless and unpredictable, and rumors whispered of her fondness for intimacy with women.

The only redeeming quality was her rare tenderness and patience toward Fu Huai.

During one of her military campaigns, the Empress was assassinated. The circumstances surrounding her death were shrouded in mystery, and factions within the palace began to reveal their true colors, each vying for power.

While secretly investigating her Empress Mother’s death, Fu Huai ascended the throne to stabilize the realm.

As Prime Minister, Ji Xin diligently assisted her. But what the world didn’t know was that on the eve of Fu Huai’s coronation, Ji Xin had suddenly attacked in Fu Huai’s chambers, forcing the new Empress to become her captive.

“You will inherit everything from your Empress Mother, including me. But I don’t just want to be your Prime Minister—I want you.”

Though Ji Xin wasn’t a bl00d relative of the Ji Clan, Fu Huai had always regarded her as an aunt. How could she harbor such feelings for her own aunt?

Yet, facing Ji Xin’s relentless power grab, Fu Huai, treading on thin ice, chose to endure and comply.

By day, Fu Huai attended court; by night, she indulged in furtive intimacies with her aunt in her chambers.

As Ji Xin gradually relinquished power, Fu Huai, softened by their nightly trysts, lost her heart. She refused to take concubines or marry, even resigning herself to spending her life with Ji Xin. But then she discovered that her Empress Mother’s death had been orchestrated by Ji Xin herself.

The murder of one’s mother is an unforgivable crime.

Fu Huai moved with calculated precision, seizing power in a single stroke. She stripped Ji Xin of her Prime Ministership and imprisoned her in the dungeons.

They would never meet again in this lifetime. Yet the very next day, news of Ji Xin’s death arrived.

Fu Huai collapsed, her hair turning white overnight. But what tormented her most was Ji Xin’s final letter.

It recounted their first meeting in childhood, the moment Ji Xin fell in love and plunged into hell. Her service at court had been nothing more than a pretext to steal glances at Fu Huai.

Empress Fu Dai fabricated false information to tarnish Ji Xin’s reputation, forcing her to submit. Upon discovering Ji Xin’s feelings for Fu Huai, she ordered Fu Huai’s assassination.

Even tigers don’t devour their cubs, yet Fu Dai’s cold-heartedness was truly ruthless.

During a military campaign, Fu Dai attempted to force herself on Ji Xin, but Ji Xin accidentally stabbed her to death in self-defense.

Ji Xin used her authority to conceal the truth, staging it as an assassination. However, the coachman escaped and was never found by Ji Xin’s men.

Every time Ji Xin shared a bed with Fu Huai, she clung to the illusion of love while dreading the moment the truth would be revealed and that love would be withdrawn.

Combined with later testimonies from the coachman and Ji Xin’s trusted confidantes, Fu Huai learned that her revered Empress Mother, beneath her righteous facade, had even plotted to harm her own daughter.

A year after Ji Xin’s death, Fu Huai abandoned state affairs, shaved her head, and became a nun, taking the Dharma name “Forget Love.”

Three years later, a nun on Spirit Truth Mountain was washing clothes by the river when a voice called out from behind:

“May I ask, Holy Nun, how one forgets love?”

Forget Love turned her head in a daze. The camera zoomed in, focusing on the woman’s black hooded sweatshirt.

Some said the visitor was Ji Xin, who had faked her death; others claimed it was a dying hallucination of Fu Huai. Theories swirled, but the official line remained silent.

“Fu Huai never fully trusted Ji Xin, and Ji Xin wasn’t entirely honest either. Perhaps this ending was the best for them,” Xi Xiuyun remarked, taking over the conversation. Ji Xin had only dared to take that final step, even confessing her love only after death. In truth, Ji Xin was quite similar to Xiuyun herself.

Because they loved too deeply, they lacked the courage to express it, resorting instead to clumsy excuses and selfishly possessing their beloved.

Once they hurt the other, they would draw a line in the sand, trapping themselves in a self-made prison.

“Actually, Fu Huai was too weak. When I played her, I struggled to get into character. If I were Fu Huai, I wouldn’t have thrown Ji Xin into the dungeon.

First, whether it was love or hate, I wouldn’t let go. I’d keep her by my side. Second, how could I claim to love her if I didn’t personally demand the truth from her own lips?”

“To believe only one side of the story—such shallow love is unworthy of Ji Xin. Fu Huai only realized this later, which led her to become a nun.”

“Even if the visitor had been Ji Xin herself, Fu Huai would have struggled to forgive herself for what happened between them, unable to reconcile their past.”

Yu Wenyu spoke these words while keeping her gaze fixed on Xi Xiuyun.

In her youth, before Fu Huai’s heart had even begun to stir, Ji Xin’s presence had filled her life with vivid, indelible marks.

These nascent feelings remained indistinct in her youthful innocence. But after Ji Xin’s departure, those traces deepened into her bones and bl00d, each breath and heartbeat carrying the shadow of Ji Xin.

Fu Huai could never find peace. Even after becoming a nun, she would eventually succumb to the torment of her deepening love and take her own life.

One should never encounter someone too dazzling in youth, for afterward, one will never again see the stars or the sun.