Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 10

Ayaka couldn’t quite understand the meaning behind Kyoya’s words. Even though he said he had been waiting, that was just the result—it didn’t change the fact that he simply didn’t want her to come to the classroom.

Yet, even after knowing the truth, Kyoya still said he was “happy.” Why?

As she wondered about it, Ayaka thought that if she could think like Kyoya, she might be able to avoid all the messy feelings inside her. She might even be able to smile like Kyoya —genuinely, not just masking everything with a fake smile like she always did.

“Shall we eat?”

“…Okay.”

Still, old habits were hard to shake off, and Ayaka gave Kyoya a thin smile in response to his invitation.

They sat across from each other, eating their bento. When Ayaka took a bite of her tamagoyaki (Japanese omelette), it tasted a little too salty.

“Is something wrong?”

Kyoya noticed the change in Ayaka’s expression and gently asked. Ayaka, managing a wry smile, pointed at the tamagoyaki.

“I think I put in too much salt. It turned out a bit too salty. I messed it up.”

“Tamagoyaki is surprisingly hard, huh? I did the same. Look, I kind of burnt mine.”

Kyoya picked up his tamagoyaki with his chopsticks and showed it to her. Ayaka noticed the brown scorch marks on what should have been a yellow omelette. But what caught her attention wasn’t that.

“Senpai, you make your own bento? That’s impressive.”

“It’s not that impressive. I just had to do it. And if I messed up, I bet you made your own too, right, Ayaka-chan?”

“Well, yeah… but for me, it’s just for this month since my mom’s really busy.”

Her mom’s job was in its busy season, so she left the house at six in the morning and didn’t come back until around ten at night. Ayaka had been making her own bento since a few days ago, because she couldn’t ask her mom to do it under those circumstances.

“And except for the tamagoyaki and sausages, everything else is from the freezer.”

Ayaka smiled awkwardly, embarrassed, and Kyoya’s bento looked like it had been carefully made from scratch—his tamagoyaki, meat-and-potatoes stew, and asparagus wrapped in beef all looked delicious.

“Even if your mom’s busy, just helping out is impressive. And using frozen food is fine too. You’re just making good use of your time. I mean, I just reheated some frozen karaage (fried chicken) and the meat-and-potatoes stew is leftovers from last night’s dinner.”

“Thank you for saying that. By the way, senpai, your bento looks really good! Have you been making your own all this time?”

Ayaka asked, partly out of curiosity and partly to hide her embarrassment from the compliment. After finishing the bite of tamagoyaki in his mouth, Kyoya casually responded.

“Yeah. I live with my grandmother since my parents aren’t around. I didn’t want to burden her with making my bento.”

“Eh…”

The casual way Kyoya said it left Ayaka speechless for a moment. She almost dropped her chopsticks but quickly gripped them tightly to steady herself.

He said it so naturally, but there was no way he could be that calm about having no parents.

Ayaka almost blurted out an apology, but she quickly sealed her lips.

He must have told this story to many people, and he’d probably heard pitying comments like “How awful” or “I’m sorry.” Maybe that’s why he could say it so casually now—so he wouldn’t have to hear those words of sympathy anymore.

So, what should Ayaka say? How could she avoid hurting Kyoya ?

“…I see.”

Taking a small breath, Ayaka spoke.

“But even though you could have bought lunch, it’s really impressive that you decided to make it yourself!”

She tried to sound as bright as possible, hoping not to make the situation heavy. Kyoya looked surprised by her response, then smiled.

“You really are kind, Ayaka-chan.”

“Eh? Me?”

“Yeah. Thank you for being considerate.”

Ayaka shook her head at his words.

Kind? That’s a lie. It’s just a temporary word. It doesn’t solve anything.

It’s just a nice-sounding phrase to cover things up, hoping that I can get through this moment.

“That’s not…! I’m not like that at all. I’m really bad at being considerate, and I end up being careless with everyone.”

“I don’t see you like that.”

“You might not, but that’s how I really am. So, if you ever want to break up, you can tell me anytime. It’d be pointless to keep dating someone like me…”

“That’s not true.”

This time, it was Kyoya who cut Ayaka off. He put down his chopsticks and looked at her directly.

“You’re kind. I know that the words you said earlier were to protect me from getting hurt. I understand that.”

“Senpai… but…! I don’t even like this version of myself…”

Ayaka had never argued back like this before. Now, she couldn’t believe she had said that, and she lowered her gaze in silence.

After a brief pause, Kyoya looked at her thoughtfully before speaking gently.

“Nobody loves every part of themselves. The things they don’t like are also part of who they are.”

Ayaka lifted her head to look at him. His words felt like he was telling himself something.

There seemed to be something hidden behind Kyoya’s words. If she stayed by his side, maybe one day she’d understand the feelings behind those words—the thoughts Kyoya was hiding.