Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 22

In her pajamas, Ayaka was sitting on her bed. After her conversation with Fujina, she had returned home, eaten dinner, and taken a bath. But because her mind was elsewhere, she couldn’t even remember what she’d eaten and had ended up shampooing her hair twice. That was how much she had been thinking about the conversation with Fujina about Kyoya.

But no matter how much she thought about it, Ayaka knew one thing for sure—she still liked Kyoya. However, she still had no idea what Kyoya was thinking right now.

“What should I do?”

On her smartphone screen was the messaging conversation with Kyoya. She had been typing and deleting the same words over and over. Unable to send even a few short words, she sat on her bed, gripping her phone.

Maybe I should just let the trial period end without saying anything else, a devilish voice in her head whispered. If she didn’t say anything more, perhaps they could still continue dating even after the trial period.

But the angelic voice of her conscience argued back. No, you need to know what Kyoya is really thinking, and why he wanted to date you in the first place. If you don’t ask, it’ll be hard for you.

Ayaka wished she could pretend not to know anything. But her heart wouldn’t allow her to.

“…Okay.”

She read through the message she had typed again. It should be fine. The timing was good. With trembling fingers, she was about to press send when a thought crossed her mind.

She remembered the day she had gathered her courage to send Kyoya a message, wanting to go out with him. She had sat just like this, on her bed, trying to gather her courage, and when she finally pressed send, her heart had raced, filled with bittersweet excitement. But now, everything felt different.

Letting out a breath she had been holding in, Ayaka pressed the send button.

She was too scared to check if it was read, so she turned the phone face down and lay back on her bed. The message she had sent was only seven words long: “I want to talk.” That was it.

Ayaka didn’t know if this would lead to a conversation about their future or if it was only going to be about what had happened so far. But one thing was certain: unless she talked to Kyoya, she couldn’t take even a single step forward.

Ayaka checked her phone the next morning. Two hours after she had sent the message, around the time the date had changed, Kyoya had replied with a short message: “Is lunchtime today okay?”

She replied with a confirmation and then sent another message: “I have some errands, so I’ll go ahead.”

In truth, she had no errands at all. She had been thinking about staying with Kyoya for as long as possible, just in case the trial period ended and their relationship came to a close. But she also knew that until she understood the truth, she had no idea how to act around Kyoya.

The walk to school, which she usually took on her own, felt oddly long today. Even though they had only been together for a month, Kyoya’s presence had become so natural that it felt like he had always been there.

Depending on how the conversation went today, they might not be together tomorrow, or even later today. Could she endure the loneliness if Kyoya were no longer by her side?

With those thoughts weighing her down, she dragged her feet toward school.

The more she tried not to think about it, the more Kyoya kept coming to mind. What Hanami and Fujina had said echoed in her head over and over. She couldn’t focus on her lessons because of it.

Before long, the bell for the fourth period rang, signaling the end of class, and lunchtime arrived.

Although she had said she wanted to talk, now she felt like running away. She wanted to shout, “Forget the message from yesterday!” and pretend nothing was wrong, smiling next to Kyoya without a care in the world.

Was this weakness in her heart? Was she afraid of learning the truth?

Ayaka wanted to trust the Kyoya she had known. But the more she thought about it, the more she wondered what that Kyoya really was.

“Ayaka, over here.”

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Shuri poking her. Looking up, she saw Kyoya standing at the entrance to the classroom, looking directly at her. Ayaka hurriedly stood up.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”

“It’s fine. Let’s go.”

As usual, Kyoya greeted her with his warm smile. Despite the fact that she had said she wanted to talk, his unchanged smile only made Ayaka feel more uncertain. She wondered if her words would even affect him.

Not wanting anyone to overhear, they headed up to the rooftop. Due to the cloudy sky and the strong wind, the usually crowded rooftop was nearly empty.

They sat side by side against the wall behind the entrance. Ayaka clutched the lunchbox she had brought and placed it on the ground.

“Um…”

When she looked at Kyoya, he had also placed his lunchbox on the ground and was looking at her with a gentle smile.

“What’s up?”

Ayaka fell silent, and Kyoya gently prompted her.

“You wanted to talk, right?”

There was no turning back now.

“I… I have something I want to ask you, Kyoya-senpai.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“…You said before, when you asked me to go out with you, that the reason was because I was always smiling. What did you mean by that?”

She had always thought it was because he liked the fact that she smiled. But what if she had misunderstood?

“That means exactly what I said.”

Kyoya replied with his usual smile.

“I don’t like seeing people cry.”