Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 23

Kyoya’s words hit me like a punch to the head. I’d heard the same thing from both Kanna and Fujina but hearing it directly from Kyoya’s mouth felt like a much bigger blow than I’d imagined.

I had been telling myself that I liked his smile, that once the trial period ended, I’d want to properly date him. But the truth was, Kyoya didn’t like me. He never had.

And here I was, foolishly getting my hopes up all on my own.

“Just—”

“I’m sorry!”

I could tell Kyoya was about to say something, but I couldn’t let him finish.

“I—I can’t go out with you after all.”

I noticed Kyoya’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but I didn’t have the mental space to figure out what his expression meant.

“I’ve always been smiling, yes…”

Tears threatened to spill over, but I held them back, fighting with everything I had. I wanted to keep smiling, just like I had when Kyoya had told me he wanted to date me.

“But just smiling doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt… I’ve been hurt so many times, always smiling through the pain.”

It was Kyoya who had reached out to me then. He was the one who showed me that it was okay not to smile when I was hurting. With him, I didn’t need to force a smile—I could laugh naturally.

He had taught me all of that.

“I like you, Kyoya-senpai.”

Tears blurred my vision. I couldn’t bring myself to smile anymore, no matter how hard I tried.

“So… if you don’t like me, I can’t be in a relationship with you.”

Even though Kyoya had said he didn’t like it when I cried, I pushed down the sadness, forcing a twisted smile.

“Huh…?”

In that moment, I saw a single tear fall from Kyoya’s eye, trailing down his cheek.

I couldn’t hide my shock at seeing Kyoya cry for the first time.

“Kyoya…senpai…”

I almost reached out to him, wanting to ask if he was okay, what happened. But instead…

“…”

I turned my back to Kyoya and walked away. He didn’t chase after me.

Just like that, a one-month relationship ended in the blink of an eye.

After parting with Kyoya, I wiped away my tears and went back to the classroom. It was lunch break, but strangely, I didn’t feel hungry. I put my untouched lunchbox back in my bag.

The classroom was crowded with noise and people, and on any other day, I would have felt uncomfortable, but today, the noise made it easier not to think about anything. I didn’t want to think. I knew if I did, the tears would come again.

But eventually, the quiet moments arrived.

After class, I walked alone across the schoolyard, where I would usually walk with Kyoya. I stood alone at the platform where we used to wait for the train together. On the train, I looked at my reflection in the window.

In those quiet moments, memories of Kyoya would hit me, and my chest would tighten. Tears would follow.

If only I hadn’t said I couldn’t date him. No, before that, why did I ask if he wanted to date me at all? Maybe if I hadn’t asked, Kyoya would still be by my side, smiling. Maybe after the trial period, we could have stayed together. Maybe, someday, he would have truly liked me back…

“…Ah, ugh…!”

I desperately wiped away the tears with the sleeve of my uniform, trying not to let anyone notice. Somewhere deep down, I knew I had done the right thing, that being with someone who didn’t love me would be painful and hollow. I didn’t need to imagine it. But even so, I could feel the hole Kyoya had filled inside me grow even bigger. It felt like my heart was being swallowed whole.

The next day, I somehow managed to calm my swollen eyes before heading to school. I took a later train than usual, because I was too scared to face Kyoya.

On the way to school, my feet felt heavy, and even as I entered the classroom, I was anxious about whether someone would say something. But nothing like the excitement when we first started dating happened. No one seemed to care, or maybe they just weren’t interested anymore now that we had broken up.

The morning passed, and the bell rang for lunch break.

Normally, I’d grab my lunch and head out to eat with Kyoya, but today, that wasn’t going to happen.

In the classroom, people were eating at their desks, some heading to the cafeteria, others taking their lunches outside, just like I used to do. I made my way to where Fujino and Shuri were sitting at their desks, facing each other.

“Hey, um…”

“Huh? Ayaka, what’s up?”

“Are you not eating with Ikeda-senpai today?”

“Well, about that…”

Even though the classroom was noisy, I could hear the sound of my own gulp, and it felt strangely loud in my ears.

“We… broke up.”

“What?”

Saying it out loud made my chest tighten, and I felt my nose sting with tears that threatened to come out. I tried my best to hold them back.

“Kyoya-senpai and I… we broke up.”

I forced a smile, trying to protect myself from the pain.