Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 26

Even after the class started, Fujino’s words wouldn’t leave Ayaka’s mind. She tried forcing a smile, but it twitched, looking more like a grimace than a real smile.

How many people would understand that this was just a way to protect her heart? She had thought she was expressing her feelings clearly, but she never expected how painful and sad it would be to not be understood.

Still, a part of her thought it might be her fault. Maybe people think I’m not sad just because I’m smiling. Maybe it’s just an excuse when I say it’s a reflexive smile, and I’m really not as hurt as I think.

If she were truly sad, she wouldn’t be able to put on a smile at all.

Ayaka knew there was something wrong with her. It must be her fault, and if something was wrong, it was probably her fault.

The thorns that had pierced her heart seemed to multiply, covering her whole being and hiding her true feelings. It felt like her emotions were being completely smothered.

But no matter how much sadness weighed her down, Ayaka’s face remained locked in a smile.

It wasn’t until the bell for the sixth period rang that Ayaka noticed the message. She casually checked her phone and froze when she saw the name “Ikeda Kyoya” on the screen.

She thought maybe she had misread it, so she turned her phone face down on the desk. There was no way Kyoya would contact her now. Maybe she was so desperate to hear from him that she was seeing things.

She let out a sigh and flipped the phone back over.

But sure enough, the message was still from Kyoya.

She heard the sound of the teacher approaching, talking to someone in the hallway, and quickly checked the message. It said just one thing: “I want to talk.”

Her heart skipped a beat. What could this be about now? Was this going to be the final blow? Was he going to say, “I can’t date you anymore,” on the one-month mark?

But maybe it was for the best. Maybe if he ended it now, she would be able to move on more easily.

She quickly replied with “After school” and put her phone in her pocket. The rest of the class flew by without her paying attention.

When you’re excited, time drags on, but when you’re dreading something, the minutes seem to fly by. Ayaka was lost in thought, and the next thing she knew, it was time for the end of the school day.

She didn’t have the energy to respond to anyone who tried to talk to her, so she left the classroom early.

Standing at the staircase landing, she waited for Kyoya to come down, just like she had a month ago.

Back then, she never could have imagined that she’d be waiting for him with this kind of feeling.

The truth was, she was terrified. She almost wanted to run away.

She lied to herself, telling herself that maybe it would be easier to just have the final blow. But deep down, she was really just scared of being rejected again. It was painful. It was hard. She wished that he would just leave her alone.

But still, no matter what—

“Ah…”

As soon as she saw Kyoya coming down the stairs, her heart tightened.

She realized that she hadn’t given up on him at all. She still loved him more than anything.

“Ayaka-chan…”

Kyoya seemed surprised to see her, calling her name with a slightly shocked expression.

“You waited for me?”

“Ah, yes.”

“I see. Thanks.”

Kyoya smiled shyly, just like always, acting as though nothing had happened between them, as if the conversation they had yesterday didn’t exist.

Ayaka couldn’t understand how he could act like nothing had changed.

“I’d like to talk somewhere. How about a café near the station?”

Normally, Ayaka would have been excited about the idea of an after-school date with Kyoya. But not now. They had broken up. If this was the moment she was going to be rejected, she didn’t want to be humiliated in public.

“Um, what about the usual courtyard?”

“Huh? Oh…?”

Kyoya seemed confused for a moment at her suggestion, making a face that looked both puzzled and troubled. Ayaka couldn’t figure out why.

“Okay, let’s do that.”

Kyoya flashed his usual bright smile, and they began walking together.

Ayaka walked behind him, no longer having the courage to walk beside him.

Normally, they would be talking about something, but now there was only silence. The air between them felt unusually heavy.

She briefly wondered if she should just make an excuse and go home, but if she could do that, she wouldn’t be standing here right now.

In the end, Ayaka hadn’t changed at all. She was still the same person she was a month ago, unable to even speak her true feelings.

She had wanted to change. She had thought she had changed.

She had thought Kyoya had helped her become someone new.

But now…

If she hadn’t changed, then she still wanted to.

She didn’t want to forget the month she spent with Kyoya.

Suddenly, Ayaka stopped walking.

“Ayaka-chan?”

Kyoya turned around when he noticed she wasn’t following.

“Um, actually, I think I’m going to go home.”

“Why?”

“Because… we said goodbye yesterday… so…”

So, she wanted him to stop. To leave her alone. To not care about her.

Many words came to her mind, but none of them seemed to express how she felt right now, and she faltered.

Kyoya lowered his gaze, then spoke.

“I want to talk about yesterday, again.”

Ayaka couldn’t understand the meaning behind his words.