Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 3

I hesitantly placed my left hand over Kyoya’s outstretched right hand, which was slightly larger than mine and cold and rough.

“Well then, I guess it’s nice to meet you for the next month,” Kyoya said, smiling brightly.

“Yes, nice to meet you too.”

Kyoya squeezed my hand tightly, still smiling happily. I couldn’t help but feel frustrated that I couldn’t return a smile that felt genuine. What if he could tell I was faking it? What if he thought I should smile more naturally?

Even while asking myself these questions, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this relationship wouldn’t last.

There had been people before who told me they liked seeing my smile. I had dated a few of them. I didn’t like my own smiling face, but if someone else liked it, maybe I could come to like it too. Most of all, it felt nice when someone said they liked me.

But in the end, they all left. They’d say things like, “I can never tell what you’re thinking,” or “You smile all the time, but are you really happy?”

I understood why they said that. I knew it too well. Because in front of them, I couldn’t stop myself from faking smiles. I couldn’t voice what I truly felt.

So, I knew this time would be the same. Kyoya, with his soft smile, would probably say something like, “Let’s break up,” before the month was even over.

I already knew the ending, and just thinking about it made everything feel hollow.

The sounds from the archery dojo stopped. It must have been break time.

“Um, so I should…?” I started.

“Hey, are you walking or taking the train?” Kyoya interrupted.

“Uh, oh, I’ll take the train.”

“Then we’re going the same way.”

Kyoya invited me to walk with him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I actually wanted to stop by a bookstore and check out the new releases on the way home, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it to Kyoya .

“Y-yes,” I replied, forcing a smile.

I nodded and walked beside him. As we walked toward the school gate, the noise from the sports field suddenly grew louder.

“What… why…?”

“Who’s that? Just an ordinary girl.”

I heard several voices, filled with criticism, from all around. I knew it, but Kyoya was very popular. Even now, as we walked, I could see several girls glancing over at him. He was the popular guy everyone admired.

Was I really okay with being his girlfriend? Could I really be with someone like him?

Maybe I should just call it off now, even if it meant making him upset. But if I could do that, I would never have agreed to this in the first place.

I kept circling these questions in my mind, unable to find an answer. Before I knew it, Kyoya had been staring at my face, as if he was waiting for something.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking up at him with a forced smile.

He smiled softly and squinted his eyes.

“Nothing. You just looked like you were deep in thought.”

“S-Sorry. I was being quiet even though I’m walking next to you…”

Kyoya gave me a confused look.

“Why apologize? I think it’s nice to see all the different expressions you make.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. But… I don’t want to see the sad face of the person I like.”

His words made my chest tighten in a way I couldn’t explain. He was smiling, but somehow, there was a sadness in his expression that made me uneasy.

Come to think of it, when he confessed, he had said, “I love your smile because you’re always smiling.” Did he not want to see me sad because he liked my smiling face, or because he hated seeing sad people?

I couldn’t figure it out, but I knew that if this relationship was just going to last a month, at least I should try to make him happy. I was good at pretending to smile, after all.

We finally arrived at the station, and Kyoya asked me:

“I’m going this way, but where are you going, Ayaka-chan?”

The way he added “chan” made my heart skip a beat. I tried to hide my reaction with a fake smile as I pointed in the same direction.

“I’m going that way too. I’ll have to transfer halfway, though.”

“Got it, so we can at least walk together until then.”

Kyoya smiled softly, and I understood why everyone was drawn to him. His smile had warmth and kindness in it, something I didn’t feel I could match.

My smile, cold and fake like a mask, felt completely different.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

I tried to smile back, but deep inside, my heart sank. I wanted to smile, but it felt like I couldn’t. I knew this wasn’t good, but I couldn’t help it. It was so hard to smile genuinely next to someone whose smile was so natural.

“Hey, Ayaka-chan.”

“Uh, yeah, what is it?” I asked, surprised.

Suddenly, there was a stuffed animal in front of my face. It looked like a mix of a sheep and a bear. It wasn’t ugly, but I wouldn’t exactly call it cute either. More like one of those “ugly-cute” types. Before I could ask, Kyoya pressed the belly of the stuffed animal with his thumb.

The moment he did, a strange sound came from the toy—”funu-aa.”

“F-Fufu… ahaha. Wait, is this a sheep? A bear? What was that noise…?”

“Hehe, it’s weird, right?”

Kyoya looked down at me, smiling gently. Maybe I had been making him worry.

“I’m sorry, I… didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Why are you apologizing? Come on, Ayaka-chan, try it too.”

“Eh, what?”

I did what he asked and gently pressed the stuffed animal’s belly. Again, the same strange sound came out: “funu-aa.”

“…It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“It is weird.”

We both exchanged glances and laughed together. This time, it was a genuine smile, not a fake one.