Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 36

Ayaka headed towards the bench in the courtyard, a place that had almost become her regular spot. The sun had grown much stronger, and compared to the early spring, it seemed there were fewer people eating lunch in this area.

It had been two months since Kyoya asked her to try dating for a month. Two months ago, she never imagined that she would fall for him or that their past would have any connections.

“So, what happened?” Shuri prompted.

Ayaka began to tell them about what had happened in her past. At first, both Shuri and Fujino listened attentively, nodding as they ate their lunch. But as the conversation grew heavier, their pace of eating slowed, and eventually, their chopsticks were placed on top of their lunchboxes.

“It was my fault. Kyoya’s parents died because of me, and Kyoya was left with a scar on his heart.”

As Ayaka finished speaking, Fujino puffed her nose in anger.

“That’s not your fault, Ayaka! Sure, Kyoya may have saved you, but—”

“But if Kyoya and I hadn’t been playing there, his parents wouldn’t have come to help us,” Ayaka interrupted.

“That might be true, but that still doesn’t mean it’s entirely your fault!” Fujino insisted.

Fujino’s words were always blunt and direct, and sometimes they could hurt, but Ayaka knew that Fujino was just being kind. Even now, she was angry on Ayaka’s behalf.

“But, when your parents die trying to save their own child, that’s different from dying while trying to save a stranger’s child,” Ayaka added softly.

Ayaka’s own parents had been there that day, but they didn’t come to rescue her. Her father had only pretended to be a father. He never cared about her or her mother. The only reason he even went that day was probably because someone told him to, not because he genuinely wanted to spend time with his family.

Back then, her mother had always been cautious of her father’s moods. Even when her father abandoned them for his mistress, her mother had quietly accepted it.

“So, are you planning to break up with Kyoya because you think it’s your fault?” Fujino asked.

“…Kyoya… he’s lost his memory of the accident,” Ayaka said quietly.

“Eh…?” Shuri and Fujino gasped in surprise.

They both held their breath as Ayaka continued, leaving out the reason for Kyoya’s memory loss.

“If he’s with me, he might start remembering that day, you know?”

“I… I see,” Fujino murmured.

“I don’t want him to remember the image of his parents being swept away in front of him,” Ayaka said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You’re right,” Fujino replied softly.

Ayaka didn’t want to remind Kyoya of those painful memories. If Ayaka’s forced smile was her way of protecting herself, then Kyoya’s silence must be his own way of protecting his heart, by forgetting.

It would be better for him to forget. If he remembered, his heart might break.

“But, is that okay with you?” Fujino asked gently.

“…I don’t have the right to say if it’s okay or not. It’s my fault to begin with,” Ayaka whispered, her voice barely audible.

“But—!” Shuri started to protest, but Ayaka shook her head with a small smile.

“I have no right to be upset about it,” Ayaka said, trying to force a smile to keep her face from crumpling. “It’s painful, but… it’s better this way. It’s better than Kyoya being sad.”

“Even if you break up with him, I think Kyoya will still be sad,” Fujino said, her gaze firm and direct.

Her words pierced Ayaka’s heart, making it ache terribly. The thought of making Kyoya look that sad again was unbearable. But…

“Then… maybe he’ll end up hating me, just like his ex-girlfriends did… Maybe then he’ll… forget me…” Ayaka’s voice faltered.

Tears started to flow freely, and she couldn’t finish her sentence. When she tried to speak, all that came out was a soft, strangled sound from the back of her throat.

Fujino pulled Ayaka into a tight hug, and Shuri took her hand in hers, holding it gently.

Their warmth and kindness surrounded her like a comforting blanket.

“If you ever feel like crying, we’re here for you,” Fujino whispered. “Whenever something happens, you can always rely on us.”

“Yeah! We can cry together, get mad together, or even go eat sweets or sing karaoke!” Shuri added brightly.

“That’s just because Fujino wants to go, right?” Ayaka managed to smile, her voice shaky.

“Oops, you caught me!” Fujino laughed as she pulled away from the hug, making Ayaka and Shuri smile despite everything.

Ayaka realized that, right now, she had people who cared for her deeply. She wasn’t alone, and with them by her side, she would be okay.

“Thank you… I’m going to talk to Kyoya. I’m going to tell him that I want to break up, that I want to be apart,” Ayaka said, her voice steady despite the tears.

“Yeah, I think that’s the right thing to do,” Shuri said, nodding.

“As long as it’s what you’ve decided, we’ll support you, no matter what,” Fujino said with a reassuring smile.

Through her tear-filled eyes, Ayaka could see her friends looking at her, their faces full of warmth and understanding.

She knew, deep down, that everything would be okay.

So, she would talk to him.

She would tell him she wanted to break up.

Because that was the only thing she could do right now.