Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 37

I’ve never been so scared of the end of the school day. It might be the first time I’ve ever wished that class wouldn’t end.

The more I wished time wouldn’t pass, the faster it seemed to go by. Was it always this quick? Without really focusing on the lesson, I found myself staring at the clock on the wall, watching the hands move.

Eventually, the bell signaling the end of class rang, and my heart skipped a beat. My chest tightened, and the uncomfortable sensation made it hard to breathe. As I reached for my mechanical pencil on the desk to put it back in my pencil case, I noticed my fingers were trembling.

“…Huff.”

I gripped my hand tightly with the other. It’s okay. It’s nothing. It’ll be fine. The pain I’m feeling is nothing compared to the sadness and suffering Kyoya must have felt that day.

I repeated those words in my head over and over, as if to remind myself. I couldn’t move from this spot unless I told myself that.

By the time I finally finished cleaning up my desk, homeroom was already over. My classmates were heading off to their various places, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave my seat.

I should hurry. I shouldn’t keep Kyoya waiting. Even though I thought that it felt as if I had been glued to the chair with instant adhesive. I couldn’t stand up.

But then…

“Ayaka-chan, Ikeda-senpai’s here to pick you up.”

A classmate, who hadn’t a clue what was going on, spotted Kyoya standing at the entrance of the classroom and called out to me.

I had no choice but to brace myself.

“Oh, uh, thanks.”

I stood up from my desk, but then I suddenly felt a gaze. It was Fujino and Shuri. Normally, they would have left for their clubs after homeroom, but today, they didn’t budge from their seats.

I could see the worried look in their eyes. To show that I was fine, I forced a small, awkward smile and nodded.

“I’m off.”

I whispered as I passed by them, heading for the classroom door.

“Sorry I kept you waiting.”

“No, it’s fine. I finished early.”

Maybe Kyoya noticed how tense I was, because his words sounded more formal than usual.

“Shall we go home?”

“Yes.”

Thinking that this might be the last time we walked together like this, my chest felt tight with an unbearable sadness.

I didn’t know what to say. Despite having braced myself, I felt like I would cry if I opened my mouth. So, I stayed silent as we walked down the hallway.

I could hear other students from different classes whispering as they passed by us. It was probably something like, “They don’t look right together,” or “They should know their place.” That kind of thing.

“Sigh, I’ve gotten used to seeing them together.”

“Yeah, me too. It’s annoying, but… I guess it kind of suits them?”

“I know, right? When Kyoya-senpai is with her, he just looks different—like there’s no room for anyone else.”

“Ugh, I wish I had a boyfriend.”

“Me too!”

The sound of their voices was drowned out by the noise of students in the hallway, and I couldn’t hear the rest of their conversation.

However, their words kept repeating in my head.

I glanced up at Kyoya, who was walking beside me, and he smiled back at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah, no, it’s nothing.”

I quickly faced forward and walked a little faster, trying to shake off the thoughts. I hadn’t realized how much things had changed around me. I never expected that people would see us like that. But now that I knew, I wished I didn’t. After deciding to break up, I didn’t want my heart to be swayed.

It was painful.

I had made up my mind to say goodbye, but now, the feelings of not wanting to leave, not wanting to part with Kyoya, were clashing with the reality that I had to. I knew I shouldn’t be with him, and yet, my heart was being torn apart.

I had to tell him soon. Before the feelings of wanting to stay together completely overwhelmed me.

“Ah, um!”

As we walked toward the station, I finally lifted my head. I was going to say goodbye.

“I… I need to talk to you, Kyoya-senpai.”

But before I could finish my sentence, Kyoya’s finger pressed gently against my lips.

“Stop.”

“Eek!”

Caught off guard by the sudden touch, I froze, not knowing what to do. I looked up at Kyoya, unsure.

He smiled awkwardly, his finger still on my lips, then pulled it away.

“Before you say anything, I need to tell you something.”

“Something?”

I felt my heart tighten in my chest. What could he possibly have to say? I wondered if he was about to tell me something… something I didn’t want to hear.

Could it be? Was he going to say goodbye too? Was he going to tell me he wanted to break up?

“…!”

I had been planning to say the same thing to him, but the thought of hearing it from him made my chest ache. How could I feel so torn apart by something I was about to say?

It’s okay to say it, but I don’t want to hear it. How selfish am I? Maybe that’s why Kyoya was planning to break up with me.

“Why?”

I wondered if it would be easier if he just rejected me. If I could just walk away from him, then…

“Hey, how about we go on a date tomorrow?”

“Huh?”

His words caught me completely off guard. I couldn’t help but let out a stunned, silly-sounding voice.