Before My Memories With You Melt Away in Tears - Episode 39

It was a holiday, so the train was a bit crowded, but we were able to find a pair of seats. In about thirty minutes, we’d arrive at our destination, the theme park.

“Have you been here before, Ayaka-chan?” Kyoya asked.

“I went a few times when I was in elementary school, but back then, I was too short to go on most of the rides,” I replied.

“I see. I went once during a middle school field trip, but I don’t really remember it.”

His casual words made my heart skip a beat. The fact that he didn’t remember meant…

“I think I had a fight with the girl I was dating back then, so I lost all my memories of that day,” he added.

“Ah, I see…” I said quietly.

“Maybe that’s why I wanted to come here with you. I didn’t want to forget this time.”

Kyoya smiled softly, looking down.

For him, today would be the first time at a theme park with a clear memory of it, but that memory might fade with time. I wondered whether it was right for me to erase that memory. If it was going to be forgotten, would it be better not to go at all?

“What do you think about losing your memories, Ayaka-chan?”

“Eh…”

I hesitated, unsure how to answer. Losing memories felt like a sad thing. The time spent, the memories—all of that would just vanish.

But I was unsure if I should say that. A careless word might end up hurting Kyoya, and I was scared of that.

It seemed like Kyoya saw right through my thoughts, and he spoke up again.

“Even if I forget the memories, I don’t think that means they’re truly gone,” he said gently.

“Even if you forget, you still think those memories exist?” I asked, surprised.

Kyoya nodded quietly.

“For example, Ayaka-chan, do you remember every place your parents took you when you were a child?”

“Not every place… Sometimes, when I look at photos, I remember where we went, or I hear stories about my childhood, and it all comes back to me… Ah…”

I stopped myself when I realized what Kyoya was trying to say.

Even if memories fade, that doesn’t erase the past. Just because we don’t remember something doesn’t mean the time spent with someone didn’t matter.

“Exactly. So, even if one day I forget the time I spent with you, Ayaka-chan, you’ll remember. As long as the memories live on in you, those moments won’t be gone.”

“Yes…”

“Thank you.”

Kyoya smiled shyly, but I looked away, turning my gaze out the window. Through the reflection in the glass, I could see the tears that had gathered in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away before Kyoya noticed.

He probably realized that I was planning to break up with him. He must have understood that the memories between us would eventually fade.

Or maybe this was all just my misunderstanding, and he simply wanted to invite me to the theme park because he wanted to cheer me up. Maybe he had noticed how down I’d been lately and just wanted to make me happy.

I couldn’t be sure which one was right, but I felt like Kyoya was already prepared for the end. Prepared for the day when his memories of someone would fade away.

Kyoya and I—one who would forget, the other who would be forgotten.

Until now, I had always thought it was cruel to forget someone, that it was sad for the people who were forgotten.

But now, watching Kyoya, I started to think that even knowing the memories would fade, being with someone might be about wanting them to remember you.

Even if I forgot someone, even if everything with them became a blur in my mind, if they still remembered me, if they held onto the time we spent together, then my existence would still have meaning. It would prove that I was there.

I was suddenly shaken awake by someone.

“Ayaka-chan, we’re here.”

“Huh? Oh, I…”

“You must’ve fallen asleep. We’ve arrived, so let’s get off.”

Still half asleep, I struggled to gather my thoughts as Kyoya helped me off the train.

“Wow! This is amazing!” I exclaimed.

As soon as we stepped out of the station, a world that felt like a different dimension unfolded before us.

“Well then, shall we go?” Kyoya said, smiling.

I nodded and took a step forward, ready to make new memories with Kyoya —the kind of memories that would eventually be forgotten by him, but would always live on in my heart.