Bone-Attached Disaster - Chapter 30:
Chapter 30: Disturbance
Lu Jie eyed Fu Jia’an skeptically. “‘Haven’t decided what to study yet, I’ll play and think about it’… I really want to punch you.”
Fu Jia’an blinked with genuine sincerity. “When are you going to punch me? I’ve never been in a fight before.”
“Do you know that you’re quite sick?”
Fu Jia’an laughed heartily. “I admit it.”
Lu Jie raised his head. Snowflakes drifted down, seemingly free to fly wherever they pleased. Perhaps ambition was something that belonged to ordinary people. It was ironic that this genius, capable of becoming a “scientist,” had never entertained the thought of scientific research. He didn’t want to do anything, indifferent to everything.
“But I’m the same; I haven’t figured out what I want to do,” Lu Jie said. “There have been a few times when I thought I had found what I wanted to do, but I later realized… it was just an illusion.”
Fu Jia’an asked him, “Does not being a genius mean you can’t continue to like physics?”
Lu Jie was stunned for a moment. This was a secret he had always kept hidden in his heart. Having Fu Jia’an ask it so frankly was brutal, but it also brought a sense of relief from no longer having to evade the truth.
“Not exactly. It’s just that I’ve come to terms with my own heart. Only after you appeared did I first ask myself: if physics couldn’t bring me praise and success, couldn’t satisfy my vanity, if I couldn’t always get first place, would I still like it? It seems I wouldn’t.”
Fu Jia’an was still a little naive in this area. “Is there any kind of liking that has nothing to do with winning or losing? Something simple, something that makes you happy just by doing it?”
“Perhaps? But not everyone can find it.”
A current flashed through Fu Jia’an’s mind. Some strange feelings were resolved, and he suddenly felt he understood Lu Jie’s meaning. It was the same as falling for someone. He liked Lu Jie, regardless of winning or losing. Being with him was enough.
“Hey, right,” Lu Jie said. “What’s the meaning of your WeChat name? Expired Can?”
“That? It’s a secret, unless you trade a secret for it.”
Lu Jie said, “What do you want to know?” That Fu Jia’an wouldn’t simply answer was within expectations.
“What did you want to talk to Tang Ningxue about tonight?”
Fu Jia’an’s curious question surprised Lu Jie. Why would he ask about Tang Ningxue? Fu Jia’an hadn’t had much contact with her, had he? Lu Jie felt a little uncomfortable inside, though he couldn’t pinpoint what was bothering him.
However, he genuinely couldn’t tell Fu Jia’an everything about what he discussed with Tang Ningxue.
Lu Jie could only give a vague answer: “I… had something to tell her.”
In that instant, Lu Jie chose an answer that was not only vague but also somewhat suggestive. He didn’t know why he had to imply this, as if he and Tang Ningxue really did have something going on.
Fu Jia’an smiled and didn’t press further. “My turn now. Why am I called Expired Can? Because my original name was this.”
Lu Jie: “……”
Fine. One piece of nonsense exchanged for another piece of nonsense.
“The power’s back on!!”
A few shouts came from the nearby classroom. Students who had been wandering outside and playing in the snow sighed regretfully, but after hearing the broadcast announcement, they started walking back to the academic building in succession. Lu Jie’s phone vibrated. He pulled it out and saw a message from Jiang Yan: [Where are you?]
“Let’s go,” Lu Jie stood up, brushing the snow off his shoulders and legs.
During evening self-study, Fu Jia’an sat at his desk, staring absent-mindedly at the distance between his chair and Lu Jie’s. He thought he shouldn’t have sat so close to Lu Jie on the bench earlier. The feeling of their sleeves unintentionally brushing against each other made his heart feel warm and ticklish. He had grown greedier; now, even sitting next to him was too far.
After that, Fu Jia’an and Lu Jie were still publicly known as rivals, but the people around them gradually noticed that the magnetic field between them had changed.
The onlookers were getting their minds blown daily. It started with the paper and pens on their desks mysteriously changing positions: Lu Jie using Fu Jia’an’s eraser, Fu Jia’an naturally grabbing Lu Jie’s compass. Later, they saw Fu Jia’an wearing Lu Jie’s jacket during his afternoon nap, and Lu Jie would even grab two cups when going to fetch water.
If days like this continued, perhaps one day they truly would become very close friends. Jiang Yan strongly protested this notion. He tried to stir up trouble a few times, but Lu Jie simply turned a deaf ear.
Peng Yuan commented: Jiang Yan and Fu Jia’an are starting to resemble a relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law.
Jiang Yan: ???
Lu Jie: ???
Until December 30th of that year, the snow fell relentlessly, piling up in a thick layer on the ground, as if giving one last heavy, satisfying fall before stopping.
Since they had three days off, Lu Jie returned to his own home. After Dai Mengshu fell asleep in the evening, Lu Jie quietly opened the window, and the cold wind rushed in.
A few snowflakes were carried onto his desk, quickly melting into droplets of water. Lu Jie liked the scent carried on the wind—like crisp mint, refreshing and clarifying.
He had opened and closed WeChat many times tonight. Finally, he grabbed his phone and sent a message to Fu Jia’an, asking if there was an alternative solution to the last major question on the math practice test.
This kind of “strategy exchange” was normal during a truce, and they were about to start preparing for the final exams after the New Year holiday. Lu Jie wondered what Fu Jia’an planned to do during the winter break. The second half of the third year of high school started very early, and the break was only about ten days. Perhaps he could suggest that he, Jiang Yan, and Peng Yuan meet at the library near the school.
Lu Jie waited until 1:30 AM, but Fu Jia’an never replied. He assumed the other person was asleep, so he closed the window and burrowed into the quilt. But when he woke up the next morning, the interface was still empty.
On New Year’s Eve, Lu Jie was called out by Jiang Yan for dinner and karaoke. Around 10 PM, his phone finally vibrated.
He quickly opened it, only to find a message from Dai Mengshu asking when he was coming home.
Lu Jie switched off his phone and tossed it aside, annoyed. He felt something was off. It was just one unanswered message. Was there any need to be so distracted? It was perfectly normal for guys not to reply to messages. He often couldn’t be bothered to reply to Jiang Yan, and Jiang Yan wouldn’t look at his phone when engrossed in a game, but it had never bothered him this much.
The KTV room was suddenly filled with the noisy electric guitar accompaniment. Jiang Yan bounced over, waving for Lu Jie and their other friends to join the fun. Lu Jie decided not to be confined by the small phone screen. He stood up, grabbed a microphone, and immersed himself in the New Year’s Eve atmosphere.
When they parted ways, Jiang Yan was slightly tipsy. His driver came to pick him up, and Lu Jie said goodbye to everyone while pulling out his phone to call a taxi. But he saw a red circle on WeChat. Fu Jia’an had replied. Four words:
Happy New Year.
Lu Jie didn’t even bother to call a cab. He squatted down right on the roadside, not caring that it was 1 AM on January 1st, and dialed a number.
“Hello?”
“It’s Lu Jie.”
“I know.”
Lu Jie stepped on the accumulated snow on the ground. A crunching sound echoed as his foot shifted. He said, “Are you leaving?”
“Leaving where?”
“I mean… not coming to school anymore. Did you choose the guaranteed admission after all?”
Fu Jia’an was silent for two seconds. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, the snow has stopped.” And you haven’t replied to my messages…
Lu Jie didn’t know how to explain. Fu Jia’an had clearly said he would stay.
Fu Jia’an seemed to smile softly on the other end. “I’m not leaving.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Lu Jie sighed in relief. “Then I’ll see you next week.”
“Okay.”
“By the way, Happy New Year.”
“Mmm, Happy New Year.”
Lu Jie squatted by the roadside, waiting for his ride. Out of boredom, he scooped up two handfuls of snow and shaped a snowman. The soft snow, compressed, turned into a hard, cold stick. The head was round, and the limbs were thin. Lu Jie deliberately drew a bizarrely simple face, finishing with a small mole on the bridge of its nose.
After completing his work, Lu Jie looked at the ugly little snowman and chuckled to himself, slapping his thigh a few times.
A car’s headlights swept past. Lu Jie realized his ride had arrived. He checked the license plate. Before getting in, he had to leave the little snowman behind. The small snowman was placed standing against the wall, its expression foolish yet strangely cute. Lu Jie curled the corner of his mouth one last time, closed the car door, and drove away.
The next morning dawned with the first clear sky in a month. In a hidden corner, the accumulated snow slowly began to melt.
Another two weeks passed. All the snow in the city had disappeared; there was no trace of it even on window frames or treetops. Fu Jia’an had not come to class at all.
Ye Mingyan asked for the umpteenth time, “Lu Jie, what’s going on with Fu Jia’an? He’s been gone since the New Year.” In her hand was the English practice test that had been passed forward. Since Fu Jia’an was absent, she was already used to handing his test papers to Lu Jie first.
Lu Jie would then smoothly take it, write Fu Jia’an’s name on the test paper, place it back on Fu Jia’an’s desk, and secure it with a large book.
The workload for the third year of high school was already heavy. Two weeks had accumulated a thick stack of blank test papers. Lu Jie was like a worker on an assembly line, his movements smooth, without complaint, but mostly silent.
“You can message him on WeChat yourself,” Lu Jie told Ye Mingyan.
“I did, but he didn’t reply.”
“Didn’t Mr. Dai say he had some family matters to deal with?” Jiang Yan happened to be wandering in the back row. “He probably won’t be back until the final exams. But Lu Jie, didn’t Fu Jia’an tell you anything else?”
Lu Jie said blandly, “No.”
“This kid is really cold, isn’t he? And after all the care you showed him,” Jiang Yan said indignantly. “See? I told you. Genius kids have brains but no heart. They’re not bad people, but there’s no need to get close to them.”
Lu Jie wanted to argue but felt there was nothing to refute. The memory of sitting and talking with Fu Jia’an on that snowy night was slowly becoming blurred. Even he himself doubted whether the recent improvement in his relationship with Fu Jia’an was just an illusion.
The next time Lu Jie saw Fu Jia’an was truly at the final exams.
In the examination room, Fu Jia’an’s seat was diagonally in front of his. Lu Jie had thought he wouldn’t show up, but he appeared right as the exam time started. Lu Jie had many questions for Fu Jia’an. He wanted to corner him after the exam and ask everything clearly.
But Fu Jia’an was quick at answering. He submitted his paper an hour early for every subject and then vanished, as if deliberately avoiding him. When Lu Jie got home, he wanted to message Fu Jia’an, but opening the chat box allowed him to see all the messages he had sent over the past few days.
Lu Jie: [Why didn’t you come to class?]
Lu Jie: [Mr. Dai said something happened in your family. Is it serious? Can I help with anything?]
Lu Jie: [I wrote your name on all your test papers for you.]
Lu Jie: [It’s been a week already. How are you doing?]
……
Looking at the screen full of one-sided messages, Lu Jie felt he should have some self-awareness. Fu Jia’an must have his reasons, he understood that, but they were not close enough to share those reasons.
He hadn’t forgotten Fu Jia’an’s background. Their experiences growing up were so vastly different. What disappointed Lu Jie, Fu Jia’an already possessed, and the innate suffering Fu Jia’an carried, Lu Jie dared not claim he could endure.
With two such divergent life paths, Lu Jie’s fantasy of empathizing with and comforting the other person was truly overestimating his capabilities. He realized he should find his correct place and stop disturbing the other person.