Bone-Attached Disaster - Chapter 44:
Chapter 44: Love
At seven in the morning, Lu Jie drove Fu Jia’an to the hospital. After the car stopped, Lu Jie asked, “I guess I can’t come to see you for these two days?”
Fu Jia’an nodded. “There have been reporters staking out the Second Municipal Hospital entrance since yesterday, and more medical staff have been assigned around Zhan Qionglou. Everyone is keeping watch around the clock, so I definitely can’t leave.”
“Then I’ll come pick you up after the surgery,” Lu Jie sighed deeply. “But I still have to wait two days, alas.”
Fu Jia’an unbuckled his seatbelt from the passenger side and leaned over to peck Lu Jie on the chin. Feeling the brief touch, Lu Jie smiled, a gentle, wry expression. His mood was complicated, like sending a lover off to war.
Fu Jia’an said, “It’s only two days. It will pass quickly.”
“Mhm,” Lu Jie closed his eyes and kissed Fu Jia’an back. “Message me when you have time. I’m free 24 hours a day.”
“I know.”
Lu Jie tapped Fu Jia’an’s forehead with his fingertip, this time with a truly relaxed smile. “Don’t miss me too much. You need to focus.”
Although the two instructions were somewhat contradictory, Fu Jia’an didn’t mind. He liked everything Lu Jie said to him; everything Lu Jie said was right.
He nodded, stopped stalling, and opened the car door to get out. Before entering the inpatient building, Fu Jia’an turned back twice, and Lu Jie smiled and waved a few times. Finally, they parted ways.
Lu Jie left the hospital and drove straight to the company. He went to check on the petri dishes in the lab, deal with some contracts, and since it was quiet on the weekend, he could efficiently read some papers. Lu Jie had always been reluctant to let personal matters interfere with work, but it had been difficult to focus for the past week. Every day, he prioritized the crucial tasks, put aside anything less important, and rushed to the hospital whenever he had a chance.
Looking back now, even though he hadn’t recognized his feelings, he had long been dedicating his time and attention to Fu Jia’an.
Since he was specifically back to work overtime today, Lu Jie turned off message notifications and concentrated, completing his work item by item as planned. When he finally looked up, the sky had already darkened.
Lu Jie stood up to stretch his slightly stiff spine. Feeling a bit hungry, he planned to order takeout, eat at the office, and then go home.
The moment he opened his phone screen, Lu Jie saw that his messages had exploded. Dai Mengshu had been messaging him since the morning, and he had over a dozen missed calls that he hadn’t checked.
A line below, the red circle on another avatar tugged at Lu Jie’s heart more. His fingers reacted faster than his mind, immediately tapping to open it.
Fu Jia’an hadn’t sent anything serious, just a meme during noon and another in the afternoon. But just looking at the cats and dogs, Lu Jie couldn’t help but feel a pleasant fullness in his heart. He remembered the soft lips from last night, the sweet kisses, and the heat that flared up throughout his body as they kissed…
Self-restraint during the rush of new love was harder than at any other time. Last night’s situation was like a child having their first taste of ice cream snatched away. The first taste of sweetness is the most addictive and the one that should never be interrupted. Lu Jie wasn’t a saint; although he didn’t throw a fit like a child, he was close to the brink of desperation.
Honestly, even after Lu Jie admitted he liked Fu Jia’an, he wasn’t sure he could accept physical intimacy with a person of the same s3x so quickly. But perhaps because Fu Jia’an had been so clingy recently, his tolerance had already been raised. The kiss happened so naturally, as if it were something Lu Jie had long craved.
Everything felt foreign to Lu Jie. He even felt that the person he was in front of Fu Jia’an was always a stranger. It was a side of himself he had never faced or discovered, and this fact didn’t make him fearful or retreat. On the contrary, he was excited.
People always assume they know themselves, but that’s not always the case. The more mistakes people make, and the more the boundaries of their world expand, the more opportunities they have to find pieces of their true self. This self-discovery experience is most common during adolescence and youth. Once a certain age is reached and the surrounding world solidifies, the chances of finding new pieces diminish.
Yet, every day he spent with Fu Jia’an, Lu Jie was discovering new fragments of himself.
Lu Jie replied to the message, asking Fu Jia’an if he had eaten. Fu Jia’an actually had a moment to reply, saying he had a quick bite and would be busy again soon.
Lu Jie ended with: [I’ll cook you something good when you come home on Sunday]
Fu Jia’an didn’t reply again, likely having gone back to work. The thought of eating at home made Lu Jie hesitate to settle for takeout, so he found Lu He in his contact list and placed a voice call.
Over the years, Lu Jie would occasionally go to Lu He for a meal. Lu He’s small restaurant, which had been struggling, closed down when Lu Jie was a sophomore in college, but his cooking skills were still as good as before. In recent years, Lu Jie felt that he and his father had developed a more equal relationship. Lu He was not a perfect father, but he was a decent friend.
So, Lu Jie was one of the first to know when Lu He adopted a puppy.
It was a small Shiba Inu. Lu Jie had seen photos before, but seeing it in person today, he realized the dog had quickly grown to twice the size it was in the pictures. Lu He said he saw the puppy in a dog seller’s cage during the summer, looking listless and nearly dead from the heat. His heart softened, and he bought it.
The puppy liked Lu Jie very much, constantly panting, wagging its tail, and trying to jump on him. Lu Jie couldn’t bear to pull it off, letting it lick his face all over. Overwhelmed, he asked his father, “What’s this puppy’s name?”
Lu He was already busy cooking in the kitchen. He answered in his spare time, “I haven’t named it yet. I’ll let you name it.”
Lu Jie’s hand, which was holding one of the Shiba Inu’s paws, paused. He remembered when Sweet and Sour Fish was first brought home, he was sitting in the living room, happily letting it jump on him. Then Lu He had said, The puppy hasn’t been named yet. You name it.
Lu Jie’s favorite dish cooked by Lu He at the time was sweet and sour fish, so the puppy was named Sweet and Sour Fish.
“Then let’s call it… Golden Egg .” After saying it, Lu Jie laughed at himself, his throat feeling a little dry. Only then did he realize he felt a little like crying.
“Alright, Golden Egg it is.” Lu He’s voice came from the kitchen, mixed with the sizzling sounds of stir-frying.
After dinner, Lu Jie stayed overnight at Lu He’s house as usual, and the father and son sat around the coffee table chatting.
Golden Egg was already familiar with Lu Jie, lying on the floor by his feet, its tail sweeping back and forth, brushing against his trousers. Lu Jie stroked the Shiba Inu’s glossy fur and spoke whatever was on his mind. “Dad, are you feeling a little lonely now that you’re older?”
“What do you mean ‘older’? I’m only in my fifties.”
“That’s not what I meant. I just meant…” Lu Jie said, “If you want to find someone else to live with, I wouldn’t mind.”
“Oh, I’m doing quite well on my own. I have things to do every day.”
That was true. Since closing the small restaurant, Lu He had explored other interests. Recently, he had been learning gardening and floral arrangement, and the balcony was filled with various types of flowers.
Lu Jie, however, had another thought: “You’re not going to tell me you still can’t let go of Mom, are you? That’s so cheesy.”
Lu He was genuinely stunned for a moment, then said, “It’s not about letting go. I… I only ever loved your mother. It’s hard to say if I still love her now, but I only ever loved your mother.”
This time, it was Lu Jie’s turn to be stunned. He hadn’t expected to uncover such a stunning secret. It was also somewhat amusing that he had never thought there was any love between his parents.
Lu He suddenly opened up. “When I was young, I always dreamed of painting. You know that later on, but because I wasn’t particularly talented, it was… a luxury, I guess. I never told anyone because I was afraid of being laughed at.”
Lu He reminisced about his younger days, his tone gentle. “Your mother was a more straightforward, decisive, and ambitious person than I was. She was the first person who made me feel that revealing my dream wasn’t shameful. She liked the paintings I did for her; she firmly believed I was talented. When we first got together, our dates were always at art exhibitions. Her presence gave me great confidence; she was once my spiritual pillar. But as you know, after I started painting full-time, and shortly after you were born, we started arguing constantly. Later, she accused me of being a failure and not fulfilling my responsibilities as a father… Actually, I think everything she said was true.”
“Because I didn’t have an income at the time, I was determined to achieve something extraordinary. I couldn’t let go of my male pride, hiding in the studio all day, telling myself I had to succeed. Because I never achieved anything significant, I struggled. I truly apologize to you and your mother.”
“…It’s just that I later discovered that your mother’s straightforwardness, decisiveness, and ambition—the very qualities that attracted me to her—eventually turned into knives that pierced my heart.”
Lu Jie said, “Given how Mom was, do you hate her?”
Lu He shook his head. “I never hated her. The divorce wasn’t because I hated her. I just realized I was slowly losing myself in the marriage. If I didn’t escape, I would lose the last bit of myself, too.”
He turned to look at Lu Jie seriously, changing the subject. “But Lu Jie, this doesn’t mean you can’t hate your mother, and it doesn’t mean you can’t hate me. You are free to disagree with any of our choices.”
It took Lu Jie a while to process this before he said, “Dad, why are you suddenly telling me all this?”
“I heard about your mother continuously trying to set you up with girlfriends,” Lu He said. “She’s asked every relative to help, including your aunt. But what I want to say is, Lu Jie, you must follow your heart when making decisions. That way, even a wrong decision won’t leave you with regret. I hope you can find someone with whom you can share all your passions and joys. I can’t guarantee you won’t get hurt, but if you want to experience true love, that’s what love is like. There is piercing pain, but there is also immense happiness that nothing else can compare to.”
…
Lu Jie had a good sleep that night, dreaming a very absurd scenario. He dreamt he was a magician and Fu Jia’an was his only audience member below the stage. His hands were empty, yet he said he would conjure doves out of thin air.
The doves were all hidden in Lu Jie’s heart. He reached into his chest and pulled out white-feathered, lively doves, one after another. The doves flapped their wings, pula-pula, flying in a circle and then back. Some landed on Lu Jie’s shoulder, and a few perched on Fu Jia’an.