But you love a fool - CHAPTER 8:
Jian Suiying had always loved spicy crayfish. His mother adored spicy food, and when he was little,
she often brought him to eat it peeling the shells for him,
piling the glistening red meat into his bowl. His father never came.
He said street food like this was filthy.
Sometimes that was all it took for his parents to start another fight.
His mother had been a true daughter of an old, refined family wealth built over generations.
Her ancestors donated tons of gold to the revolution, sent their sons to war,
and earned a reputation for patriotism.
Because of that, they had survived the Cultural Revolution untouched.
His grandfather, though, came from the opposite world
eight generations of poor peasants, red roots, red bl00d.
He had been so poor as a child that he couldn’t afford pants,
joining the Party only because hunger left him no choice.
He could never have imagined he’d rise as far as he did.
Later, his grandfather and his mother’s father forged a deep revolutionary friendship,
and that was how his mother ended up marrying his father.
Who would have thought it would all end like this?
Against that woman’s docile, soft-spoken facade real or not his mother was bound to lose.
When the scandal broke, his grandfather couldn’t bear to face his mother’s family anymore.
He moved out to the countryside to farm, letting everything in the house rot on its own.
After his mother’s death, his grandfather didn’t speak a single word to his father for almost five
years. Not until Jian Suiying grew up and tried, clumsily,
to mend things did his grandfather finally let his father set foot inside the house again.
As a child, Jian Suiying had hated his father and that woman with a passion.
He’d been the kind of rebellious that burned everything it touched.
Whatever made his father lose face, whatever could hurt him he did it.
He remembered once throwing seven-year-old Jian Suilin into a swimming pool.
He tied a rope to the boy’s wrist, squatted on the side, and watched him thrash.
When the kid nearly drowned, he’d pull him out, let him cough and choke,
then toss him back in. Three or four times like that.
When his father found out, he beat Jian Suiying so hard he couldn’t get out of bed for a month.
And that wasn’t even the worst of it.
Looking back, he sometimes marveled that he hadn’t actually killed Jian Suilin and
that his father hadn’t killed him.
He didn’t have the energy for that kind of cruelty anymore.
Sometimes he even felt a twinge of guilt when he remembered it.
And besides, Jian Suilin had turned out so considerate,
always fussing over him, always eager to please,
that Suiying liked to think he was a decent brother now.
Over the past two years alone, he’d taught Suilin how to invest,
how to trade stocks, how to run a business
sponsoring him to the tune of more than two million yuan.
So if Suilin wanted to dote on him, he’d call it filial piety.
And now, Suilin was peeling crayfish for him, his movements neat and efficient,
while the elder brother leaned back, lazily eating one after another.
This place really does it right, he said between bites. Xiaolin, peel a few for Li Yu too.
Li Yu’s face hardened. I’ll do it myself.
Let him, Suiying said. No need to burn your fingers.
I’m used to doing things myself, Li Yu said flatly, ripping the head off a crayfish
with more force than necessary. Heat flared low in his chest quiet, steady, angry.
He hated the way Jian Suiying talked to Jian Suilin ordering him around like a servant.
To Li Yu, Jian Suilin had always been rare: polite, graceful, kind to everyone,
the sort of young man who carried light with him.
Even Li Yu’s father had said, That boy knows how to behave. He’ll go far.
For nearly ten years, Li Yu had looked forward to seeing Suilin again.
Now, every day he got to spend with him felt like a gift. And yet,
Jian Suiying treated him like a butler.
It was like watching someone use a gemstone as a paperweight
something you could only dare to glance at from afar being handled like trash.
The unfairness of it made Li Yu’s stomach twist.
Jian Suiying either didn’t hear or didn’t care about the bitterness in Li Yu’s voice.
He gulped down a mouthful of Yanjing beer and said casually,
Don’t eat too much, both of you. Too spicy and your stomachs will rebel.
And no more beer, it’s too cold. Eat, but keep your energy for tomorrow.
We don’t want upset stomachs before the big day.
Suilin smiled. Don’t worry, bro.
Nervous? Suiying asked.
Not really.
Oh? Really?
Really. I’m ready.
Suiying grinned and turned to Li Yu. What about you, Li Yu? Nervous?
Li Yu shook his head. Not much.
That’s the spirit. I wasn’t nervous before my exams either mostly because I knew I’d flunk them.
But who cares? My career never needed a diploma.
You’re smart, bro, said Suilin.
Of course, said Suiying with a smirk. But you’re different.
You’ve always been good at school. The family expects big things from you.
Whether you go into business or politics, a good university will open doors.
So do your best tomorrow. If you get into X University.
Suilin looked up, eyes bright with hope.
If you get in, tell me what you want. Anything.
He didn’t answer, just smiled.
Can’t decide yet? Fine. Think about it.
Thanks, bro.
Suiying turned back to Li Yu. After exams,
where do you guys want to go? I’ll take you.
Li Yu glanced at Suilin and said nothing. The summer he’d been dreaming
of was about to begin he wanted nothing more than to spend it with Suilin.
But not with Jian Suiying.
Suilin perked up. You’ll take us out, bro? You don’t have work?
I’m my own boss. Work’s whenever I say it is.
Wherever’s fine, bro. You pick.
Suiying thought for a moment, stumped.
If it were just Li Yu, he knew exactly where he’d go somewhere dim, indulgent, slow.
But with his kid brother tagging along? What, an amusement park?
He glanced at Li Yu again, eyes lingering a second too long,
already imagining how it might be to get him alone.
By now all three had lips bright red from spice.
The air-conditioning roared, but sweat still shone on their skin.
The mountain of crayfish slowly disappeared, shell by shell.
Suiying’s drinking tolerance was legendary he’d trained it at banquets and bars
but alcohol flushed his skin fast. After one glass, his cheeks turned pink,
after three, his whole body glowed like he’d bathed in wine.
Suilin and Li Yu didn’t drink, so they just watched as his skin grew redder and redder.
He was a stylish man, the kind who drew eyes without meaning to.
That night he wore a cream knit sweater with a deep V-neck that dipped to his chest,
just enough to show the sculpted muscle underneath.
With that luminous skin and glimmering eyes, he was impossible to ignore.
In ten minutes, four shy waitresses had drifted over to refill their broth,
each sneaking glances before scurrying away blushing.
Jian Suiying, of course, didn’t notice. He already had something prettier right beside him.
Li Yu sat close enough to smell his cologne heady, sweet,
mixed with the faint sourness of beer.
The scent wasn’t exactly pleasant, but it stirred something in him all the same.
He, who never drank, suddenly wanted a glass.
And the longer they talked, the easier it became.
Jian Suiying was worldly and funny, sharp without being cruel,
and conversation with him against all expectation was strangely enjoyable.
By the time they finished, Suiying was pleasantly drunk. Since he wasn’t driving,
he didn’t bother holding back.
When they got home, he realized he hadn’t prepared their beds.
He waved a lazy hand from the sofa. Xiaolin, go make up the two guest rooms.
Then, half-collapsing into the cushions, added, And get me some water.
Suilin poured him a glass before heading off to make the beds.
Li Yu followed. I’ll help.
Suiying, half-dozing, thought how comfortable he was,
how easy it would be to just drift off like this.
Somewhere in his half-sleep, laughter filtered from the guest rooms
bright, young, unguarded.
He stood, a little unsteady, and walked over.
At the doorway, he saw them two boys, tangled in blankets,
play-fighting and laughing until they fell breathless.
That unfiltered joy hit him like sunlight. He found himself smiling without meaning to.
The next morning, Jian Suiying didn’t get up. He sent his driver instead to take
the two of them to the exam and pick them up at noon.
When he finally woke around ten, he called a hotel to prepare lunch.
As the time drew near, he realized he was… nervous.
He kept wondering how they were doing. Did the questions go well?
Did they make mistakes? Were they anxious?
It was ridiculous he almost felt like a parent waiting outside an exam hall.
In the end, he couldn’t sit still. He told the driver to swing by and
pick him up so they could go wait at the school together.