Cherishing You As Always - Chapter 16

I tiptoed back onto the bed and lay down with a sense of relief. Turns out, I’m not such a bad person after all. Even though I act mean, deep down, I still care about others.

Lying on my side with my hand as a pillow, I took out that silk ribbon from my chest and couldn’t help but wonder: what would Yin Yunchi look like with her hair down?

I scratched my head, which was messier than straw. This ribbon really doesn’t suit me. Beautiful things should belong to beautiful people. Someone like me barely even passable as plain-looking really isn’t suited for it. I should find a chance to give it back to her.

I stared at the moon in the sky for a while, then looked at the red silk ribbon in my hand, and inevitably thought of the old legend about the god of love, Yue Lao.

They say Yue Lao ties a red thread to everyone’s finger, connecting each person to their destined other half. Those who are fated to be together will eventually meet and stay together.

But what does that red thread actually look like? If every person is tangled in a red thread, who is at the other end of my brother’s thread? Who is at the other end of mine?

I raised my hand, hoping I could see that red thread. I wanted to tear it off because I didn’t want to imagine myself being tied to someone for the rest of my life. It felt like… being trapped.

“To hold your hand and grow old together?”

The words from the old master’s book flashed through my mind.

Will someone really appear in my life who’ll be with me until old age? Will I even be willing to accept such a person?

I know I’m a selfish person. I want my own life, to be in control of everything about myself not to marry some man and then be confined to the house like some dutiful wife, while he goes off fooling around outside. I don’t want that.

If the man could be fully devoted to me, maybe just maybe I might accept him.

But where do such good things exist? Where could I find someone who would truly accept me?

I’ve got a spoiled young lady’s tempe  most men probably couldn’t handle that.

I tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep.

Suddenly, I was startled by a shadowy figure near the bed. A small figure had somehow silently appeared right beside me. I let out a loud scream:
“Wah! Big sister, are you trying to scare me to death?!”

She stood there with her eyes half-closed, moving slowly and eerily, like a ghost. I shrank into the corner. Was she here for the scissors?

I scrambled under the bed, searching desperately until I finally found the scissors and grabbed them tightly in my hand. She didn’t move, just stood there. Summoning my courage, I asked,
“Y-you… what are you doing?”

She didn’t respond. She just walked over to the cabinet, picked up a book, and drifted out like a ghost. I immediately sensed something was wrong and followed her.

It seemed like she wanted to leave the room, but the door had apparently been locked by herself. When she couldn’t open it, she turned around. I quickly stood in her way and waved my hands in front of her face but there was no reaction at all.

She went back to her chair, hugged the book, and silently lay back down again. The whole process didn’t take very long.

I wiped the cold sweat off my forehead. “No way, is this girl sick?”

Getting up in the middle of the night just to go pick up a book and lie back down again? I called her name—no reaction. She wandered around the room like some kind of ghost.

I threw the scissors back under the bed and walked toward her. Carefully, I waved my hand above her face. She really seemed to be asleep.

I immediately backed away just in case she jumped up again with a pair of scissors. I still wasn’t ready to die so young. I curled back into bed, truly feeling a bit scared.

So regretful what was I thinking, choosing to share a room with her? Now even if I wanted to back out, how could I tell the scholar that I needed to move? How could I ask to be reassigned to a different place after just settling in?

Filled with fear and regret, I eventually fell asleep.

When I woke up again, I saw her gently covering me with a blanket. The moment I saw her, I broke out in cold sweat and sat up quickly, stammering,
“Y-you okay?”

Ever since I met her, I’ve basically had to ask this same question every time we interact. I can’t exactly call her creepy… but the truth is, I don’t understand her.

And no one isn’t afraid of someone when you have no idea what they’ll do next. I’m no exception.

I worry that one night she’ll stab me in her sleep. But looking into her clear eyes, I couldn’t say a word. The questions I wanted to ask all turned into a single sentence of concern.

She immediately pulled her hand back, letting the blanket fall to the floor. I was too stunned to speak.

She quickly said, “There’s an early class today. I’ll go first. You should get up soon or you’ll be late.”

She turned to the table, grabbed her book, and was about to leave when I called out,
“Stop!”

She froze for a moment and asked calmly, “Is there something else?”

Still half-covered by the blanket and clutching my palm, I hesitantly asked,
“You never answered my question. Are you okay?”

She nodded and hugged the book tighter. “Thank you for your concern. I’m fine. If you think I’m difficult to live with, just let the scholar know in a few days and request to be moved. I understand I must seem strange to you.”

Hearing her talk about herself like that, I blurted out,
“No. No, it’s not like that. Don’t overthink. I don’t know anything, really. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to the scholar.”

Someone who looked so fragile I just couldn’t bring myself to upset her. I’d rather put up with it. I’ll just be more careful in the future.

Did she know she sleepwalks? Is that why she was so afraid of what I might say? Why she feared my questions?

She gave me a grateful look, but then a crisp ringing echoed throughout the entire courtyard, echoing through the mountain valley.

She immediately turned and ran out, shouting as she left,
“Quick, get up! The teacher hates lateness. If you’re late, you’ll have to copy books as punishment!”

She rushed off with long strides. I looked outside and shouted in frustration,
“Is there no justice?! The sun’s barely up and we already have to go to class? How is this place fit for human beings?!”

I barely even got any sleep. This place is not made for humans.

I got up slowly. I was still wearing yesterday’s clothes. My luggage was probably still with Zihui. But I had to go to class I’d heard that if you’re late, you get punished by copying books. No way I want that.

So I just stayed in my clothes from yesterday and walked out casually. Since I was new here, I wasn’t even wearing the same uniform as the others. I wondered if the scholar would give me a new outfit today?

Just as I was about to shut the door and head out, Zihui came charging in, carrying a big bag in each hand and balancing a small bundle on her head, panting and shouting,
“Miss! Miss! Help me out! I’m exhausted!”