Chimera of Batius - Chapter 17

“Hey. Did I ask you for something difficult?”

“I’m sorry, but Lord Dexler summoned me urgently. He said he needed to punish the soldiers… I had no choice.”

The reason Dexler called Hein was absurd: a foolish insistence on punishing the soldiers because the training ground, which had been moved inside the castle, was too noisy.

Dexler’s room was far from both the knights’ building and the training ground. However, using that reason to summon Hein when he and Reym weren’t present could only be seen as intentional. This was even more evident since it resulted in another humiliation for Cheil.

He didn’t know if Dexler’s attitude was revenge against him or harassment toward Cheil, nor what his true intention was. But one thing was certain: if Ruzerolt wasn’t there, no one in this castle could protect Cheil. Just thinking about what had happened moments ago still gave him goosebumps.

He couldn’t take care of Cheil under these conditions. He didn’t want to transmit even a bit of his emotions to him, nor did he want to leave him to bathe alone while his wounds were still healing. Ruzerolt left Cheil in River’s care and waited in the second-floor hallway. He leaned against the wall and stood rigidly for a while, until River came out of the room.

“Oh, Sir Ruzerolt…! You’re here!”

“Why are you coming out so soon? I told you to help Cheil bathe.”

“Well… it seems he doesn’t want me to touch him.”

River scratched his cheek and tilted his head.

“He says he doesn’t want help either, and he’s just standing there without moving. It seemed hard for him to respond properly… I couldn’t force him.”

Cheil hadn’t said anything during the entire walk to the guest house either. The dark shadow he sensed was probably resignation. It would have been better if Cheil had been afraid. It hurt more to see him accept the situation so calmly. Ruzerolt hit his chest with his fist. There was no other way to express that feeling than to call it pain. The fact that Cheil was going through this caused him great suffering. Hiding his emotions with difficulty, he told River:

“I’m going in, so return to the castle.”

“Understood. I’ll come back tomorrow morning.”

After River went down the stairs, Ruzerolt opened the door. Cheil was standing in front of the large bathtub, staring into space.

“Cheil.”

At the sound of Ruzerolt’s call, Cheil turned around. His upper torso was flushed, reminiscent of the day he was whipped. The smell of alcohol mixed with lavender evoked the stench of bl00d from that day. A knot formed in Ruzerolt’s throat as he faced Cheil, who only looked at him in silence. He was overwhelmed by guilt for not having been able to take care of him.

“…I’m sorry.”

Cheil blinked, as if he didn’t understand.

“I put you through something terrible.”

Cheil averted his gaze and then, as if he had understood, shook his head and approached Ruzerolt.

“What are you talking about…? No, I should be the one apologizing.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

Ruzerolt looked at Cheil’s throat, which was now closer. The bandage visible beneath his clothes was stained red.

“The bandage is soaked with alcohol, too. If you leave it like that, the wound could get infected, so you should wash it.”

Cheil then looked down at his wet clothes.

He raised his arm to untie the bandage. However, his trembling hand stopped mid-air and fell back down. He looked troubled.

“Then I’ll call River again. It’s a bit hard for me to untie the bandage by myself…”

As Cheil tried to walk past Ruzerolt, his wrist was caught.

“I’ll help you.”

Cheil closed the distance between them.

“… Can I bother you with that?”

Ruzerolt gave a slight nod. Cheil then removed his layers of clothing one by one. With each layer, the fabrics fell to the floor, revealing his muscular body wrapped in bandages.

Then it was Ruzerolt’s turn. His rough hands began to undo the knots of the bandage carefully, one by one. The tied cloth came loose under his deliberate movements.

Only after all the bandages were removed did Cheil take off his pants. Although Ruzerolt had seen his torso when treating his wounds, it was the first time he had seen his body completely naked. Cheil’s body, sculpted by dance, was lean and without an ounce of fat. His broad shoulders tapered smoothly, and beneath his dark skin, the defined muscles seemed like they were drawn.

His body was different from Ruzerolt’s, which was built through training, both in structure and silhouette. To Ruzerolt, who had only seen soldiers’ bodies, Cheil’s form was more beautiful than any other man’s. Without realizing it, Ruzerolt placed his hand on Cheil’s shoulder, admiring the dark skin. Cheil slowly turned around. Though he was completely naked, he still wore his mask.

“Sir Ruzerolt?”

Ruzerolt flinched and looked at Cheil. When their eyes met, heat began to build in Ruzerolt’s chest.

And not just in his chest. He felt a strange excitement in his lower abdomen.

He quickly turned away and offered an excuse.

“Your wounds are healing very quickly. Almost all the broken skin has already closed.”

“It’s thanks to you, Sir Ruzerolt, for taking care of me.”

Cheil’s voice was lower and deeper than Ruzerolt’s. However, when he spoke with a smile like he did now, it sounded as soft as fluttering fabric. Hot steam filled the bathroom. Ruzerolt gestured toward the tub with his eyes, and Cheil dipped one foot in. The water rippled around his knees.

“Be careful.”

Ruzerolt extended a hand. Cheil took it and submerged his other foot. The water level rose with his weight. Since they were both men, and Cheil was probably a beta with the same genitals, his instincts shouldn’t have responded sexually to Cheil’s presence. Yet, every time he saw Cheil’s naked body, the heat inside him intensified.

Ruzerolt took a clean cloth from a basket beside the bathtub, soaked it in water, and knelt down.

“Turn around.”

“I… I can do it.”

“If you move wrong, the wound might open again.”

“…”

“Come on.”

Ruzerolt shook the wet cloth. Cheil, with no other choice, turned around.

He swept his wet hair off one shoulder. Seeing that, Ruzerolt swallowed hard. If not for the sound of water, the noise from his throat would have been loud enough for Cheil to notice. With great effort, he suppressed the instincts urging him on. Focusing on dulling his senses and awakening his reason, he began to wash Cheil’s back.

The back, where he had been whipped, was marked by irregular, ugly scars from the healed flesh. However, Ruzerolt did not find them unpleasant or ugly.

“I’m sorry for showing you such ugly scars…”

“…I told you before, you don’t need to apologize for that. With or without scars, you are still beautiful, so don’t worry.”

Cheil glanced back and then looked forward again. His eyes seemed more tired, as if intoxicated by the heat. The shoulder Ruzerolt was touching relaxed even more. He heard the sound of water being stirred by a hand.

“Sir Ruzerolt, you are very kind.”

“…I’m not.”

“No, it’s true. I’ve met many people, but I’ve never known anyone who cares so much about me, a simple dancer.”

“That’s…”

It wasn’t because he was a dancer that Ruzerolt worried. It was because he had grown fond of Cheil as a person.

It seemed Cheil had no idea about the feelings he harbored toward him. That’s why he could say something like that.

“If… if I hadn’t been born like this…”

Cheil let out a small sigh, leaving the sentence unfinished.

Ruzerolt continued cleaning his back in silence, waiting for him to continue. But Cheil said nothing more. Ruzerolt stopped his hand.

“Today, I will listen to everything you want to say, so speak freely.”

So, Cheil turned around. They looked at each other, the wooden wall of the bathtub between them. Cheil hesitated for a moment before continuing.

“If I had been born in a slightly better position… I probably would have found the courage.”

“Courage?”

Ruzerolt echoed.

Cheil remained silent, not responding immediately. After a while, he spoke again.

“There’s something I want to ask you.”

Ruzerolt gestured with his eyes for him to continue. Cheil took Ruzerolt’s hand and brought it to his own chest.

“If I wanted to be by your side… would you allow it?”

“…”

“Or would you reject me for being an insolent commoner?”

“…”

“I want to know.”

Cheil draped his long arm over Ruzerolt’s shoulder. His breathing, tense and warm, spread between them.

“I want to be a little selfish…”

Anxiety mixed with the rising steam. Cheil leaned forward. Ruzerolt’s heart, which had barely managed to calm down, began to pound again. In an instant, Cheil’s face was very close to his.

“Will you allow me?”

He gently brushed his nose against Ruzerolt’s.

Ruzerolt’s heart felt like the water in the bathtub: rising and unsettled by Cheil’s presence. As Cheil’s presence grew heavier, so did Ruzerolt’s desire.

With a low whisper, Ruzerolt felt his member harden under his clothes. Cheil caressed Ruzerolt’s chest.

“Just once…”

In a whisper, Cheil tilted his head. His upper lips touched through the fabric that covered his mouth. Then, their lower lips met. With each touch and separation, Ruzerolt’s breathing quickened. With each brush of their lips, a small spark ignited.

“Sir Ruzerolt…”

Cheil murmured against his lips.

“A little more…”

His pleading voice trembled as if he were about to cry. Ruzerolt’s heart beat strongly.

Cheil rubbed the back of Ruzerolt’s neck with an anxious hand, pressing as if he wanted to mark the skin.

A shiver ran through Ruzerolt’s entire body from that point of contact. It was the moment when Cheil pulled him closer.

“…!”

Ruzerolt reached out and cupped Cheil’s cheeks. He pulled him close and pressed their lips together hard. With the cloth between them, their mouths moved, seeking each other. The moment silent permission was granted, Cheil began taking Ruzerolt’s lips without hesitation. Cheil, who had been in the water, rose, his body soaked and glistening. Each time his torso leaned out of the tub, water splashed onto the floor like a wave.

“Cheil…”

Even after parting for a breath, Ruzerolt didn’t look away from his dancer. His hands stroked Cheil’s cheeks, his fingers wandering over the soft skin, rubbing beneath the fabric that hid the lower part of his face.

“Taking it off… means I’m willing to serve you in bed.”

Knowing its meaning, he still felt a fierce urge to tear the cloth away.

“I still… haven’t experienced what it means to give my heart completely. I’ve never been connected with someone I love.”

“I want to love someone I can truly give my heart to.”

I could protect Cheil without hurting him. Only I could shield Cheil from the storms in this place.

A fierce desire to possess him flared, yet he couldn’t take him. That mask was also the belief Cheil held so dear, the one he wanted so much to protect.

His arousal throbbed painfully. He wanted to rip the mask off at once.

Ruzerolt pulled Cheil’s face closer, expressing his rising need by crushing their lips together again. The cloth crumpled between them. A long while passed before their ragged breathing calmed.

Ruzerolt exhaled shakily and rested his forehead against Cheil’s. Cheil’s hand came up to brush Ruzerolt’s cheek.

“…Sir Ruzerolt.”

Instead of answering, Ruzerolt covered the back of Cheil’s hand with his own.

“May I stay by your side always?”

He wanted to protect him. Even if only for a season, even if he could hope for nothing more.

“Yes. While you’re here, as long as you wish, I’ll be beside you.”

At that, Cheil’s hand froze for a moment.

“While I’m here…” he murmured, lowering his head again.

Their lips met once more through the cloth. As Cheil gently bit Ruzerolt’s lip, Ruzerolt closed his eyes and sank into deep thought.

***

A long darkness settled over Heinsley. From the day the gates closed, the duchy cut itself off from the outside world for an entire winter. The peasants who farmed the open land also retreated into the fortress, and the nobles, with their storehouses full of food, enjoyed a prolonged period of rest without exception. It was a time of unique isolation in the north, and also a quieter era than any other. Yet, within Ruzerolt, a storm was brewing.

Ever since he had kissed Cheil, Ruzerolt had felt restless. He worried when he didn’t see him, and if he heard Cheil’s name mentioned anywhere, all his senses sharpened.

The greatest change, however, was that he began to be disturbed by every small detail of Cheil’s behavior.

He had thought that after what happened that night, they had both understood their feelings a little better. But Cheil still wore a resigned expression, especially in his presence.

What is going on? What did I do that made him feel this way?

“Captain.”

He couldn’t ask him directly. He had no idea of the reason, and lacking that knowledge, he feared he might hurt Cheil with a careless question.

“Captain.”

Cheil’s expression, his actions, his voice, his beautiful body—everything swirled in his head.

“Captain Ruzerolt!”

At Reym’s call, Ruzerolt finally looked to his side.

“What is it?”

“Are you alright? I called you several times, but you didn’t answer.”

“…It’s nothing important.”

Reym frowned in concern. However, he didn’t press further.

“Did something happen with Hilinda?”

“Hilinda?”

Ruzerolt raised an eyebrow at the sudden mention of the name. The knights’ building was already in sight ahead.

“Yes. I saw Lady Hilinda recently, and for some reason, as soon as she saw me, she started getting angry. She always projects her feelings about you onto me.”

“…”

Hilinda had a habit of venting her frustration with him onto the knights, especially Reym and Hein.

The only reason Hilinda would get angry would be because of Cheil.

“It was just a small argument. Don’t worry; it’s nothing important.”

Reym, who was opening the door, looked surprised.

“Why that expression?”

“A fight… it’s a bit unexpected. Until now, you’ve always tolerated Lady Hilinda’s actions.”

“This time she went too far.”

Ruzerolt had always overlooked Dexler’s annoyances without much reaction. Reym, who had observed him closely, knew this better than anyone. Reym frowned as he considered Dexler and Hilinda’s usual behavior. This was the first time Ruzerolt had reacted in a way that wasn’t typical of him.

“Does it have something to do with the dancer?”

Both men stepped onto the stairs. Ruzerolt’s hand tightened into a fist. Seeing his captain’s jaw tense with force, a shadow crossed Reym’s face.

“Captain. That man is just a humble dancer. He’s not someone who deserves so much concern from you.”

Ruzerolt’s brow furrowed even more deeply at those words.

“You know well what Dexler and the other castle members did to him. I cannot ignore it.”

“They always act the same way whenever they have the chance. It’s not something you should worry about.”

Ruzerolt stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Reym, fearing his speech would be cut off, continued hastily.

“He is nothing to you, Captain. Are you perhaps planning to take him as a lover?”

“Reym.”

Though Ruzerolt’s voice held a tone of reproach, Reym only lowered his head in silence, seemingly unwilling to retract his statement.

Lover.

He couldn’t attach that label to someone whose deepest desire was simply to be with the person they loved. How could he dare to think of someone so pure in such terms?

Reym let out a deep sigh.

“He is nothing to you, Captain. I wish you would stop giving him importance.”

Nothing.

The word Reym had spoken struck Ruzerolt’s chest. A relationship that meant nothing, absolutely nothing…

He wanted to deny that Cheil was just a simple dancer to him. But Ruzerolt had no grounds to reprimand Reym. Because, as Reym had said, Cheil was just a humble dancer; neither his lover, nor his partner, nor anything to Ruzerolt.

“Let’s go in.”

His tone grew even heavier. Trying to calm his troubled heart, Ruzerolt gestured toward the door.

With a brush of their shoulder armor, the door to the captain’s meeting room slammed shut.