Chimera of Batius - Chapter 19

“I’ve caused you so much trouble…”

Ruzerolt, who had seated Cheil on the couch, wore a worried expression.

“There’s not much to do at this time of year.”

Ruzerolt wrung out a wet cloth and placed it on Cheil’s face.

“Close your eyes.”

He gently cupped Cheil’s chin and lifted his face, then folded the wet cloth over his eyelids. The cool sensation soothed his heated skin. Cheil relaxed and moved his hands restlessly.

With his eyes closed, Cheil considered how to steer the conversation. He had to take advantage of this opportunity to press his advantage.

How could he break the resolve of this upright man?

Cheil repeatedly clutched and released the fabric of his clothes. Ruzerolt caressed the back of his restless hand, his eyes filled with concern.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… about earlier…”

His fingers twitched a few more times.

“About earlier… it wasn’t Reym’s fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. It was because I was careless and didn’t know my place. I mean… I don’t want you to misunderstand Reym…”

Ruzerolt smiled wearily and stroked the side of Cheil’s head.

“Do you think I’m going to punish Reym?”

“Rather… I don’t want him to be blamed for my fault…”

“You’re so sensitive…”

Ruzerolt lifted the cloth that was slipping again. He carried a deep sadness not only in his touch but also in his breath and his gaze.

Ruzerolt gently touched Cheil’s neck.

“Your wounds… have multiplied.”

“I’m fine. They’re not even deep. They’ll heal soon…”

Ruzerolt’s forehead rested against Cheil’s shoulder.

“It’s my fault for not taking better care of you…”

The warmth was so intense it felt heavy. The sincere warmth that Ruzerolt radiated enveloped Cheil. Although Cheil was the one who had been threatened, for some reason, it seemed as if Ruzerolt was the one on the verge of tears. The emotion he transmitted made Cheil, who was busy plotting, waver. Once again, a small tremor spread through his empty heart. Cheil looked down toward his own chest. It felt as if something different had occupied the empty space.

“Cheil?”

“Ah.”

Cheil regained his composure and adjusted the mask of his conscience once more.

How pathetic to have lost my head over a simple touch!

Cheil put on a solemn expression again. He had already returned to being the innocent dancer.

“I’m sorry you face injustices because of me. I apologize on Reym’s behalf.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Cheil straightened up and shook his head. The cloth covering his eyes fell onto the sofa.

“Apologize? No! I… I’m so happy to be by Sir Ruzerolt’s side. I’m so happy to be with you right now… truly!”

In fact, he was so happy he wanted to throw himself straight into his bed.

Unable to finish speaking, Cheil bit his red lip. Seeing his lower lip being chewed, Ruzerolt gently pulled it down with his thumb.

“I’m glad you feel that way. Still, it’s true that it’s my fault for not supervising Reym properly.”

Then, how about belittling yourself and taking responsibility for your mistakes?

Every time his completely different inner and outer thoughts clashed, Cheil’s lips trembled. After biting his lower lip for a while, he hesitated for a moment and then cautiously spoke.

“I think… Reym believes I have some ulterior motive for being by your side.”

“That’s absurd.”

Ruzerolt replied with a gentle expression.

“I’m the one who knows you best in this castle. It’s only because the others don’t know you well yet. Don’t let their words hurt you while you’re here. I promise to take better care of you.”

“Ah.”

Cheil’s eyes curved, taking on an increasingly gloomy air at those words.

“While I’m here… huh…?”

He murmured in a low voice, his lips barely moving. Cheil’s reaction made Ruzerolt feel uneasy again. His pheromones, emanating strongly, revealed his emotions. Ruzerolt examined Cheil with restless eyes. Not missing the opportunity, Cheil focused his gaze on him once more.

“Our relationship, Sir Ruzerolt… yours and mine… will only last one season. Just while I’m here…”

Ruzerolt was taken aback by Cheil’s words.

Shortly after, Cheil’s eyes welled with tears. His voice grew even softer.

“Did you hear what I said to Reym?”

“…”

“Did you hear it? Is that why… are you putting more distance between us?”

Ruzerolt’s expression showed a shade of embarrassment at the sudden turn in the conversation.

“Cheil.”

“I should have kept it hidden until the end.”

Cheil blinked once, and tears fell from the corners of his eyes.

“I know that to Sir Ruzerolt, someone like me is just a passing dancer. That’s why I tried to hide my feelings. I didn’t want you to confirm my position to me in this way. But unfortunately…”

Cheil rose from his seat.

“I know very well that the feelings of someone as lowly as me are nothing but a bothersome burden to someone like you.”

“That’s not true…! Don’t speak of yourself like that.”

Ruzerolt stood up to follow Cheil.

I have to push him further.

Cheil feigned a calculated despair. He carefully expressed the sadness of their status difference and the forbidden love growing between them.

His shoulders trembled as if overwhelmed by sorrow.

“It’s always like that… a season, a night, a few hours. To others, I am a fleeting presence.”

Ruzerolt couldn’t hide his surprise at such an unexpected response. Tears streamed down Cheil’s face.

“No one… no one has ever promised me a future.”

Ruzerolt clenched his fist tightly, his face contorted with pain.

“Before, you asked me what I would do if I obtained the sexslust flower. I… I would give it to you, Sir Ruzerolt.”

“…Cheil.”

“Because there’s no other way to aspire to you without resorting to such a cowardly method. I… I love you, Sir Ruzerolt.”

As soon as the desperate confession ended, the air fell deathly silent. Ruzerolt, who had remained rigid for a while, placed his hand on Cheil’s arm.

“Cheil, stop crying.”

However, Cheil turned away as if rejecting the caress.

“This is the first time I’ve felt such sadness at being destined to be a dancer… Everywhere, my existence is denied!”

Suddenly, Cheil leaned forward forcefully, and his cheek brushed against Ruzerolt’s firm chest. Ruzerolt gritted his teeth and hugged him even tighter.

“Cheil. You are not a fleeting presence.”

Cheil blinked his reddened eyes at the beginning of Ruzerolt’s response.

“You are not someone who withers in a single night. At least in my heart, you are not like that. I hadn’t anticipated that my words would hurt you so deeply.”

It had been Cheil who feigned the pain, but it was Ruzerolt whose heart was truly breaking. The walls Ruzerolt had built crumbled without a trace before the storm Cheil had unleashed.

Ruzerolt held Cheil at arm’s length and looked at him intently, his hand still gripping Cheil’s arm firmly. Cheil squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, seeing the pain reflected in Ruzerolt’s green irises.

Ruzerolt brushed away the black hair stuck to Cheil’s tear-dampened cheek. After contemplating him for a long moment, he broke the heavy silence.

“I didn’t want our relationship to be about mere pleasure. I don’t want it to be like that.”

“Then what will we be, Sir Ruzerolt…?”

“…”

“Will you discard me when this season ends, like all the others?”

“Discard you? Don’t say that.”

“I thought you considered me a vile person, unworthy of your affection.”

“It’s not like that. It’s the complete opposite.”

Ruzerolt took Cheil’s hand firmly in his own. Then, his own eyes welled with tears.

“The fact that I dance to seduce others… doesn’t mean my heart is frivolous.”

“I know.”

Cheil rubbed the edge of his mask with trembling fingers. A burning desire shone in Ruzerolt’s eyes.

Ruzerolt. Don’t you desire me?

“I… I want all the seasons with you. I want you to stay by my side.”

Ruzerolt raised his hand toward Cheil’s cheek. Cheil grabbed his wrist and guided it to the back of his head, where the knot of the fabric was tied. Ruzerolt’s fingers began to work on untying the knot.

Cheil filled his eyes with feigned sorrow.

“If I take this off, you must accept my heart completely.”

His green eyes nodded with a sincerity that needed no words.

“You must allow me everything.”

Even with those words, Ruzerolt’s rough hands didn’t stop. Finally, the knot came completely undone, and the piece of fabric slid down the bridge of his nose.

The face thus revealed was even more beautiful than when it had been hidden. His lips, which had only been seen vaguely, were now clear and defined, and the bridge of his nose, previously hidden by the cloth, was flawless, as if sculpted. No statue in the world could rival his beauty.

Holding Cheil’s cheeks, Ruzerolt made a silent promise:

I will protect you, you who are so beautiful and delicate.

Cheil smiled through his tears at the warm caress.

“You must give me everything you have, Sir Ruzerolt.”

“Yes, I promise.”

Ruzerolt bowed his head toward Cheil.

“Sir Ruzerolt…”

A wave of euphoria, born in Cheil’s heart, rose up, enveloping his entire body. A burning excitement spread to the tips of his fingers. Cheil disguised his triumph as love.

“I love you. I love you…”

Ruzerolt’s arms wrapped around Cheil’s body tightly, almost as if wanting to absorb him. Their lips met. A satisfied smile formed at the corners of Cheil’s eyes as they slowly closed.

He had succeeded.