Come Sit At My House - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Luo Qingmeng struggled but couldn’t escape. Mentally, she was deeply uncomfortable, and her body constantly resisted Qiu Shuxue. But Qiu Shuxue wasn’t in a hurry. Every time Luo Qingmeng broke free, Qiu Shuxue would coax her. “Here, sister. Yes, sister. So cute.” She would praise her and then reward her with a little kiss.

Luo Qingmeng, at 28, was being coaxed by a woman a few years younger than her. She bit her lip, crying in frustration. Tears streamed down her face, and she couldn’t stop them. Finally, her vision blurred. Luo Qingmeng continued to sob, too ashamed to move. She used her last bit of strength to press one hand over her eyes. She let out a low wail, her body tensing up in a near-cramp.

Qiu Shuxue kneaded her body unhurriedly, sitting beside her with her fingertips hooking Luo Qingmeng’s hair. “Why are you so cute?”

Qiu Shuxue leaned in to kiss her. Luo Qingmeng turned her head, refusing. When Qiu Shuxue came closer again, Luo Qingmeng pushed her away forcefully, scrambling to sit up. Her feet hit the floor as she frantically searched for her shoes, which had disappeared. Barefoot, she made a run for the door.

“Sister,” Qiu Shuxue called out. “Your dress.”

Luo Qingmeng realized she had been clutching the hem of her nightgown in her hand the entire time. She was so red with shame that it spread to her ears. She quickly let the hem go and darted out. She reached her door and frantically pressed her fingerprint until it unlocked, then she quickly slipped inside.

Everything that happened that night shocked Luo Qingmeng’s mind. She had been quiet since she was a child. In school, she had mostly nodding acquaintances and few friends. At home, even though she was the oldest sister, she wasn’t close to her siblings. So, let alone this, she hadn’t even held hands with another woman.

With her back pressed against the door, Luo Qingmeng’s face was beet red. The images from just moments ago filled her mind.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“How can you be so perfect?”

Luo Qingmeng could have fought harder, but… but the moment Qiu Shuxue said she was “perfect,” she just melted. She craved affection too much.

She ran into the bedroom and wrapped herself tightly in her comforter, pulling it over her head. She gripped it, wondering why she had lost control. She thought and cried, and cried and thought… She had never been like this before. When she first started dating, Li An took her to a hotel, and she paid for her own separate room. Even holding hands made her tremble. Li An had even teased her, “Are you like this because you like women?”

Like women? Impossible. But she had been so unwilling to be intimate with Li An, and now she had just let Qiu Shuxue do this to her. It was… it was terrifying.

Do I… do I like women?

Luo Qingmeng felt numb from head to toe. She had never considered being with a woman. The education she received from childhood taught her that men and women belong together. In the closed-off small town she grew up in, the word “homosexuality” didn’t even exist. She never knew about men with men or women with women. She always thought only men and women could be together… and now, this was happening to her.

Luo Qingmeng couldn’t make sense of it. Her mind was a complete mess. Even more confusing was that she didn’t know if Qiu Shuxue had done something to her. Why did she feel… that tingling sensation again whenever she thought about what had just happened?

Is… is it because summer is coming soon?

…

Luo Qingmeng got up from bed at seven. The apartment wasn’t far from the bookstore where she worked, a forty-minute commute. Since she worked in a mall, she didn’t have to go that early. She left the apartment quietly, not wanting to run into Qiu Shuxue. But as she passed her door, she remembered her status as the “original wife.” She didn’t want to seem weak, so she immediately straightened up and held her head high. A woman should never stoop or hunch her back.

The bookstore opened at nine. She had to get there twenty minutes early to tidy up the shelves and check the online best-seller lists to set up the day’s recommendations. But… Luo Qingmeng was all thumbs.

“Sister Meng? Sister Meng?” The part-time college student next to her called her several times.

Luo Qingmeng came back to reality and looked at her. “What’s wrong?”

“You wrote the wrong character. It’s ‘Atonement’ (赎罪), not ‘Punishment’ (赎罚).”

“Oh, right. Thanks.” Luo Qingmeng erased the character and rewrote “Atonement.” Her handwriting was beautiful. Sometimes, when she was in a good mood, she would copy a quote onto a small board by the door to attract customers. She was in no mood for that today.

Her mind was elsewhere, stuck on one thing. Qiu Shuxue had seen her body yesterday and touched her. She felt so miserable and unsettled. The fear kept coming back to her. Luo Qingmeng turned her head and saw Chen Xin copying a summary onto a blackboard, her handwriting sloppy. Luo Qingmeng went over, took the board, and wrote it herself.

Everyone has flaws. In the West, everyone has original sin. Since we have flaws, imperfections, and original sin, we must atone. Atone for whose sins? Of course, our own. — “Atonement”

There were no customers at the moment. Chen Xin went to clean the windows while Luo Qingmeng went to the reading room to place today’s free books. She opened one and couldn’t help but sit down and read two pages.

“Atonement isn’t done to receive God’s forgiveness. It’s for yourself. When you acknowledge your own mistakes and face them head-on, that’s when a person can change.”

Luo Qingmeng read for three minutes. She felt like she, too, needed to atone.

I can’t be reading this, she thought. They’re the ones who need to atone.

On the weekend, the bookstore was busy with people coming and going. The reading room was full of young people. Luo Qingmeng refilled the drink machine several times. Qiu Shuxue didn’t come to buy books today. Luo Qingmeng repeatedly checked the desk calendar. The date was correct. Chen Xin, her colleague, was getting ready to leave and reminded her, “Sister Qingmeng, don’t forget you’re covering my shift tomorrow.”

“Got it,” Luo Qingmeng nodded.

Only one customer was left in the store. Luo Qingmeng waited for them to leave. Chen Xin was tidying up outside and saw someone walk in. She looked up and said, “Sorry, we’re closed. The reading room is already shut down.”

“I’m here to pick up a book I ordered.”

“Which one? I’ll have my colleague get it for you.”

“A set of ‘World History’,” the person said, rattling off a few titles.

Chen Xin walked inside and said, “Okay, please wait a moment. Are you taking them with you now? They’re quite heavy and thick. It might be inconvenient…”

“I have a car.”

Chen Xin walked into the bookstore and talked to Luo Qingmeng. “Sister Meng… the person who ordered the books is here.”

Luo Qingmeng lowered her head and pushed the calendar back, her cheeks inexplicably flushed. Chen Xin said, “The person who ordered the set of ‘World History.'”

The last customer in the store had found their book and came over. “Cashier, please.”

“You go get the books,” Luo Qingmeng said, taking the customer’s book to scan. “42.9. Do you want to sign up for a membership?”

“Is there a discount?” the customer asked.

“There’s a 2% discount. On member days, it’s 12% off. You also get free tea in the reading room and can redeem small gifts with enough points.”

“Okay.”

Luo Qingmeng had him give her his phone number. Her fingers flew across the keypad, entering the information. She put the book in a paper bag. “Have a nice day.”

Chen Xin came out of the back warehouse carrying a stack of books. They were large, thick wooden-bound volumes. When they first arrived, Luo Qingmeng had mentioned how expensive they were, over 300 yuan each. This customer had bought a whole set, worth more than half of her monthly salary.

Qiu Shuxue took one. Luo Qingmeng reached out to help Chen Xin with the rest. Then Qiu Shuxue stood in front of her and held out a membership card. “I’m a member. Do you need my card or my account number?”

Chen Xin finished moving the books and went to the back to take off her apron. Luo Qingmeng regretted it instantly. She should have gone to get the books and let Chen Xin handle the register.

“Phone number.”

Qiu Shuxue read off a string of numbers. Luo Qingmeng’s fingers quickly entered them, and she glanced at the points on the screen. “You just need to pay the remaining balance, 1,200.”

“Okay,” Qiu Shuxue said, holding out her payment QR code.

Luo Qingmeng scanned it. After a soft beep, Luo Qingmeng handed her the receipt. Qiu Shuxue pinched the paper and asked, “When do you get off work?”

Luo Qingmeng didn’t answer. She lowered her head to sort the cash in the drawer and reconcile the accounts. Most payments today were by phone, so the accounts were in order.

Chen Xin came out of the dressing room and hung up the “Closed” sign. Qiu Shuxue glanced at her and, picking up her books, said, “I won’t keep you from leaving.”

Luo Qingmeng went to the dressing room to change out of her uniform. She took off her apron and thought about what Qiu Shuxue was wearing today—a long white trench coat, very casual, and probably a designer brand.

After what happened, why would Qiu Shuxue come here? To humiliate me? To get a thrill from seeing me humiliated? Like in a TV show, where the mistress flaunts herself in front of the original wife, swaying her hips and showing off?

Luo Qingmeng was so angry she threw the apron on the chair. She put on her own coat, her mind replaying yesterday’s events. Qiu Shuxue holding her hand, twirling her around while kissing her on the mouth.

When she was weak with pleasure, Qiu Shuxue would whisper, “So beautiful, so beautiful, sister.”

“She’s crazy,” Luo Qingmeng cursed under her breath. “She’s sick.”

She buttoned her coat and went out. Chen Xin handed her the keys and looked at her. “Sister Meng, what’s wrong? Why are your eyes red? Oh, right, I heard Xiaoman and them say you got married.”

“Congratulations, Sister Meng.”

The words felt like a dagger to Luo Qingmeng’s heart. Her hands were in her pockets, and she pulled her collar up to hide her flushed face. After a while, Chen Xin didn’t get a response and sensed her mood wasn’t good. “What’s up? Are you feeling sick?”

She looked up again and saw Qiu Shuxue. Qiu Shuxue had a lot of books, seven in total. As she was about to get in the elevator, Chen Xin enthusiastically went to help. They each held three books, leaving one on the ground. The two women, similar in age, looked vibrant together. Chen Xin turned her head and called out, “Sister Meng, come on up.”

Chen Xin looked confused. Luo Qingmeng walked over and picked up the books. It was just the three of them in the elevator. Chen Xin was a chatterbox and talked to Qiu Shuxue the whole time. Luo Qingmeng stood in the corner, looking at them with a sidelong glance. She didn’t hear what they were talking about, but she felt annoyed and cold-heartedly mocked them in her mind.

I was that age once, too.

“Oh, Sister Meng, you two live together?” Chen Xin turned to her.

“Huh?”

Luo Qingmeng didn’t know what to say and just hummed in agreement. The moment she hummed, she knew she had made a mistake. Chen Xin gave one of the books to her and handed the other two to Qiu Shuxue. “Could you give our Sister Meng a ride home? The subway is packed at this time.”

“I can go back by myself.”

“I’ll give you a ride,” Qiu Shuxue said, accepting.

Chen Xin got off on the first floor. Luo Qingmeng was about to follow her, but she was still holding the books. Before she could, the elevator door closed, and in just a few seconds, it reached the underground garage. Qiu Shuxue’s car was parked close by. She put the books on the roof, took out her keys, and pressed the unlock button. She put the books in the back seat. Luo Qingmeng did the same and then turned to walk away.

But Qiu Shuxue grabbed her hand.

“What are you doing? Let go,” Luo Qingmeng said, glaring at her. “Don’t… don’t touch me.”

She looked disgusted, grabbing her sleeve to push Qiu Shuxue away through the fabric.

Qiu Shuxue said, “If you’re so disgusted, why didn’t you throw the books away? You carried them all the way here for me.”

Luo Qingmeng choked on her words.

It was because the books looked so nice. She couldn’t bear to get them even a little dirty. When they arrived, she immediately put them in the warehouse for safekeeping and had envied them for a long time. She had a deep reverence for books, otherwise she wouldn’t have worked at the bookstore. She pushed Qiu Shuxue away again and said, “It’s none of your business.”

Qiu Shuxue seemed to misunderstand her and gripped her wrist. She said softly, “Okay, I’ll make it my business. Let me give you a ride home as a thank you. How about it? Thank you for carrying so many books for me.”

“I don’t want a ride from you,” Luo Qingmeng stubbornly refused, still disagreeing.

“…Then let me give you a book. How about that?” Qiu Shuxue noticed the glimmer in Luo Qingmeng’s eyes. Luo Qingmeng herself didn’t realize she was wavering, even though she thought she wouldn’t be swayed by a few books. Luo Qingmeng cursed, “A book? What’s a book?”

“I’ll give you the whole set… to celebrate your divorce.”

Qiu Shuxue added, “Congratulations on your divorce.”

Luo Qingmeng deflated like a punctured balloon. “You… you think a few books will…”

“Will get you a ride home.” Qiu Shuxue held the car door open and gently pushed her into the passenger seat. Luo Qingmeng’s body retreated, and when she opened her mouth, no words came out.

Qiu Shuxue quickly came closer and sat on Luo Qingmeng’s lap, cupping her face. “Don’t be mad. Even when you’re mad, sister is so pretty. You were so charming at work today. I stood outside the bookstore and stared for a long time, especially when you looked at the calendar. It was like a painting.”

Luo Qingmeng wanted to tell her to get off. Her ears were soft and flushed with embarrassment. She never thought she looked pretty working at a bookstore. It wasn’t a real career; it was kind of a dead end. Even Li An had mocked her for having no room for advancement.

Qiu Shuxue pulled the seatbelt over and gently buckled it for her. She said, “Your apron was so sexy. It even had little bears on it.”

“Don’t touch me…” Luo Qingmeng pushed her away forcefully.

Qiu Shuxue pursed her lips and looked at her with even more infatuation. “I can tell… sister really likes to be praised by me.”

Luo Qingmeng’s tightly-closed lips moved. “I do not.”

So annoying, so annoying. Why is this happening? I hate Qiu Shuxue.

“You had the same look in the elevator… It was as if you were jealous.”

Luo Qingmeng tried to look away. Qiu Shuxue followed her gaze, continuing to coax her. “If you don’t like this, I can stop. I won’t kiss you, sister, but you have to tell me no.”

Luo Qingmeng parted her lips to speak.

Then, Qiu Shuxue kissed her.

Luo Qingmeng’s eyes widened. How could Qiu Shuxue do this? She didn’t even give her time to react. She didn’t keep her word. Luo Qingmeng let out a muffled sound and wanted to get angry, but she was like a person with an incontinence of tears. When she was kissed, unable to resist, she just wanted to cry.

She let out a soft “wail” and quickly closed her eyes, letting Qiu Shuxue’s brazen kissing have its way.