Confession to You in Early Summer (GL) - Chapter 7

The bus departed at 7:30 and arrived in Yizhou after more than 4 hours. It was nearly noon when they arrived at the station. Yan Wei’s parents had been informed in advance and were already waiting at the station. As soon as she got off the bus, she saw her parents in the crowd.

They were both cultured and refined, younger than they would be many years later. The wrinkles around her mother’s eyes were fewer, and her father’s temples were not yet gray.

Yet, as Yan Wei looked at them, she felt a complex mix of emotions.

There was a sense of nostalgia, an instinctive fear, a hint of sympathy, and an inescapable sadness.

Before she could dwell on her emotions, her mother saw her and waved excitedly, “Weiwei!”

Her father also showed a relieved smile.

Yan Wei dragged her light suitcase and followed her parents out of the station. Yan Tingyue snatched the suitcase from her hand and put it in the trunk. Yan Wei sat in the back seat, leaving the passenger seat for her mother, He Ping.

“Weiwei, are you tired from the bus ride? What’s going on with your school? Why did they let you return so late?” He Ping started chattering as soon as she got in the car.

Yan Wei leaned against the car window and closed her eyes to rest, mumbling a noncommittal response. Yan Tingyue glanced at her through the rearview mirror and dissuaded his wife, “How could she not be tired after a 4 or 5 hour bus ride? Say less, let Weiwei rest. She usually goes to bed at this time. When we get home, she should wash up and rest directly, so as not to affect her daytime spirit and disrupt her biological clock.”

He Ping felt that her husband was right and turned to Yan Wei, “Go to sleep, I’ll call you when we get home.”

Yan Wei hummed in response and pressed her forehead against the car window, half-closing her eyes to watch the scenery flying past outside the window.

“Weiwei, we’re going to see Grandma tomorrow, so don’t sleep in,” Yan Tingyue told Yan Wei as he took off his shoes after returning home. “Remember to set an alarm for 7 o’clock to have breakfast. We’ll leave early and come back early, so it won’t affect your homework.”

As usual, Yan Wei didn’t express any opinions about the decisions they had already made, but simply nodded in agreement, “I know.”

She returned to her room and looked at the familiar yet distant furnishings. Although she hadn’t been back for over a month, the floor was still clean and the desk was spotless.

Yan Wei looked at the few books sandwiched in the bookshelf and remembered something. She walked over, pulled out one of them, and flipped through it quickly.

The doodle sandwiched between the pages was gone.

He Ping would clean Yan Wei’s room every weekend, tidy up her desk, and throw away anything she thought shouldn’t be in a high school girl’s room, even if it was just a few meaningless doodles.

Her parents rarely questioned her about why she would do these strange things during study time, but their seemingly gentle and tolerant attitude was actually more domineering and unreasonable in their actions.

In my past life, I don’t know if I’ll wake up from this dream, so let’s just call the experiences in my memory my past life.

After college, she rarely went home. Sometimes, during winter and summer breaks, she would stay in Fudou to work part-time. Every time she saw her parents, she would discover that they had aged a little more, but before she could feel any regret, she would be pulled back to reality. A few words would lead to an argument, and it would usually end with Yan Wei storming out, both sides unhappy.

During the two years she was a graduate student, she never went home once.

After being a good girl for so long, once she rebelled, there was no stopping her. The accumulated grievances, resentment, and the confusion and sadness caused by Jiang Youyi’s death had crossed a threshold, making her feel exhausted and weary. She no longer wanted to play the role of an obedient child to please anyone or avoid punishment.

Perhaps, she was simply venting her emotions.

In the end, they stopped communicating with each other. Everyone was at fault, but no one was willing to give in, especially her parents who had been domineering for two or three decades.

But at least now, they would still rush to pick her up in the middle of the night out of concern for her safety. She never doubted their love for her. From their perspective, setting aside their unconscious selfishness and their desire to control, they had indeed poured all their love and hope into her.

It was just that they never introspected and didn’t understand that this domineering and controlling love was like a shackle that confined her, making her constantly want to escape.

She had a pride that was as strong as theirs, but because of her long-term suppression of herself, she developed inferiority, timidity, and cowardice. These contradictions distorted her values, causing her to accumulate rebellion in her submissive life, constantly struggling against another self deep within her, and eventually erupting without consequences, burning everything to the ground.

He Ping didn’t knock before entering the room and handed Yan Wei a cup of hot milk.

She saw the book that Yan Wei was flipping through and didn’t ask any questions or say anything, as if it was all natural.

Yan Wei put down the book, finished the milk in one gulp, and handed the empty cup back. “Thank you, Mom. You and Dad should go to bed early too. Good night.”

“Good night,” He Ping smiled and went out, closing the door behind her.

The next morning, as soon as the alarm went off, Yan Wei opened her eyes immediately and got out of bed without hesitation.

About two minutes later, He Ping pushed open the door. She looked at Yan Wei, who was folding the quilt, and smiled contentedly. “Weiwei, breakfast is ready. Go wash up and eat.”

“Okay,” Yan Wei agreed, while at the same time pressing down the corners of the quilt.

Five minutes later, the family of three sat down for breakfast in an orderly manner. Yan Tingyue and He Ping sat side by side on one side of the long table. Yan Wei glanced at the empty seat on her left, showing no emotion, and lowered her head to quietly finish her breakfast.

At 7:40, they left home, and Yan Tingyue drove his wife and daughter to the suburban cemetery.

It was Qingming Festival, and the sky was gray and overcast with a drizzle. From a distance, Yan Wei saw a figure standing in front of her grandmother’s grave, holding a black umbrella.

Yan Tingyue and He Ping also saw it and stopped walking at the same time.

The other person seemed to sense something and turned their head. When they saw the family of three not far away, there was no expression on their indifferent face. They simply paused their gaze on Yan Wei for a few seconds before turning away and walking down the long steps from the other side, without saying a word from beginning to end.

There was a woman waiting for her at the bottom of the steps.

He Ping took a deep breath and glanced sideways at Yan Tingyue, whose face was ashen.

“Does she have the nerve?” Yan Tingyue’s temples throbbed. “To dare bring her here? What a disgrace to the family! A shameful thing!”

Yan Wei watched their backs disappear and remained silent, keeping a rational distance.

The young woman’s name was Yan Chu, Yan Wei’s older sister, three years older than her. And the person beside her was her lover, and they had been together for many years.

In Yan Wei’s memory, when she was in the second year of middle school, Yan Chu was exactly the same age she was now, a high school sophomore.

Yan Chu had a secret relationship, which was discovered by her teacher. The object of her affection was a woman eleven years older than her, almost old enough to be considered an elder.

Before this incident, Yan Chu had always been her parents’ pride and Yan Wei’s role model. She was an excellent student, had participated in many math and physics competitions during her junior high and high school years, and had won numerous awards. She was the teacher’s favorite and a true darling.

After her relationship was exposed, she unhesitatingly came out to her parents. The argument was earth-shattering. Yan Wei had never seen her gentle and considerate sister burst out with such a powerful force. Her usually gentle and refined father had gone crazy, slapping Yan Chu across the face, but it couldn’t extinguish the stubbornness in her heart.

In the end, Yan Chu slammed the door and left, got into that woman’s car, dropped out of school, and never came home again.

Yan Tingyue and He Ping had tried to find her, but she never broke up with her girlfriend until she was forced to drop out.

From then on, the family pretended that this person didn’t exist. Neither Yan Tingyue nor He Ping ever mentioned Yan Chu, but they controlled Yan Wei even more strictly than before in all aspects of her studies and life.

Often, Yan Wei felt that perhaps her parents’ love for her was mixed with something else, like they wanted to find a trace of the former Yan Chu in her.

But she wasn’t Yan Chu. She didn’t have the audacity to rebel, nor did she dare to accept Jiang Youyi’s confession with such a heavy burden, dragging the already injured girl into another abyss.

In her past life, she didn’t realize until Jiang Youyi died.

She wasn’t truly willing to accept it.

Effort might not always lead to a perfect outcome, but if you don’t actively pursue it, you’ll only be left with regrets.

She envied Yan Chu’s rebelliousness and courage. Life had given her a second chance, even if it was just a dream, she didn’t want to let it go.

Not only did she want to keep Jiang Youyi, but she also wanted it for herself.

After the depressing atmosphere at the cemetery, they returned home. Yan Tingyue sat on the sofa and turned on the TV to watch the news, He Ping went to prepare lunch, and Yan Wei went back to her room to do her homework.

High school students never lacked homework during their vacations. In fact, they had even more homework than they did at school. All the teachers seemed to have a consensus on squeezing students’ free time.

With a three-day Qingming Festival holiday, there were two sets of test papers for each subject, totaling twelve papers. Coupled with the upcoming monthly exam and mid-term exam review after Qingming Festival, her academic workload was heavy. Besides studying, there seemed to be no other free time.

In this family, only studying was considered an effective use of time. And only when she was locked in her room studying could she enjoy a brief period of freedom.

Having spent over a decade living with her parents in such a seemingly peaceful but lacking rational communication environment, she had long since become accustomed to it and had developed an inner sense of the patterns. The moment she heard footsteps outside, she could judge and predict how many seconds it would take for someone to open her room door.

As Yan Wei closed the drawer, He Ping’s voice accompanied by the clicking sound of the doorknob turning sounded, “Weiwei, take a break and come out for dinner.”

“I’ll be right there after I finish this question, just 2 minutes,” Yan Wei replied.

The door closed again. Yan Wei pulled open the drawer again, flipped through the thick stack of photo albums a couple more pages, found a specific photo, took it out, and on the back, there was a phone number written in ballpoint pen.

It was their junior high school graduation photo. Yan Chu had come to school to see her on the day the photos were distributed.

Yan Wei didn’t know if Yan Chu had changed her phone number in the past two years, but this was the only way she could possibly contact her now.

T/N: Yan Chu, Yan Wei’s sister, has her own novel. I haven’t read it yet, but I think Yan Chu’s story is heavier; a lot of things seem to happen in it.