This Director Is Not To Be Trifled With - Chapter 40

“I really did die before, so I cherish every day I’m alive.”

At the moment close to death, the brain produces an illusion that slows down time; memories play like a movie in the mind past, present, and future all compressed into that one second. That feeling is cold, so cold it makes it hard to breathe, desperate to survive yet powerless.

If she must experience it a second time, Song Xian hopes that day comes much later.

Pei Zixuan felt Song Xian’s words didn’t sound fake, but she wasn’t very interested in other people’s affairs. After all, she was the one hurting the most right now; she couldn’t possibly be the one to comfort Song Xian.

Pei Zixuan: “I said, I won’t seek death.”

Pei Zixuan: “She was my high school tutor. At first, we were purely teacher and student. She was knowledgeable, beautiful, and charming hard not to like her, including me. But I knew that as long as she was my teacher, she wouldn’t accept my feelings. So I waited until after the college entrance exam to confess.”

“But she rejected me. She said I wasn’t eighteen yet,” Pei Zixuan looked down and smiled softly, a sweet smile, a beautiful memory.

“So I kept waiting, until the day I turned eighteen, and confessed again. Just like I expected, she rejected me again. This time the reason was the age gap; she wanted me to think carefully about my future, whether this path was right. But I knew, she was scared that my love for her was just a fleeting fancy. Yet, we still ended up together. Want to know why?”

Song Xian found the story quite interesting and listened attentively. “Why?”

“Because I threatened to die if she didn’t admit her feelings for me. How about that? Think I’m a bit obsessive?” Pei Zixuan smiled bitterly.

Song Xian: “No, I think you’re brave. If you were prepared to be with her for a lifetime, that’s not a bad way just don’t really die.”

“The days with her were the happiest of my life. But in less than a year, my mom found out about us and also threatened to die. My mom knew I wouldn’t give in, so she suppressed her everywhere even interfering with her job. But we still held on. We resisted all the pressure, but in the end, we were defeated by our own hands. Isn’t that ridiculous?”

Song Xian: “Then why did she marry someone else?”

From this story, this love really was touching. But why did it come to this?

Pei Zixuan: “That was her choice. Whatever path she chooses, I will support her. So I want to let her marry with peace of mind, to live a life she may not want but chose.”

Song Xian: “Why didn’t you threaten to die again?”

Pei Zixuan: “Because I’m afraid of death! Because I love her even more now, I don’t want her to suffer or worry because of me.”

In Song Xian’s mind, two people who love each other should be together. Don’t talk about whether it’s suitable or not. Life has so many hardships; if you can’t overcome love, then you can’t even manage a temporary partnership.

“You just let her go to someone else’s arms so easily? You loved her so much and gave up, so why wouldn’t others?” Song Xian pushed off the railing and jumped toward the river, calmly saying, “The one I love must be protected by me.”

At that moment, Xiao Yutong’s face involuntarily appeared in his mind.

She turned back and saw Pei Zixuan crying again, tears streaming down her face. She comforted her, “But that’s just my view of love.”

Song Xian: “If you’re really determined, say goodbye to the past. Isn’t your goal to make her think you’re happy? But crying like this doesn’t look happy at all.”

She reached out to wipe Pei Zixuan’s tears. Not sure which string she pulled, Pei Zixuan suddenly collapsed into her arms, crying loudly, attracting passersby.

Pei Zixuan’s emotions fluctuated like waves; she cried for a while then stopped. She rubbed her face on Song Xian’s clothes, mixing tears and snot on them.

Song Xian: “Hey, my clothes!” The clothes were expensive.

Pei Zixuan didn’t care, took a tissue and blew her nose hard. “These clothes were bought by me anyway.”

“Alright, alright, all yours then!” After spending the day together, Song Xian realized she was powerless against Pei Zixuan; whatever she said was final.

“Well, since you won’t seek death anymore, I’ll head off,” she had promised her mom to have lunch, and it was almost time. If she delayed any longer, her phone would be bombarded.

“Oh, don’t forget what you promised me.” Seeing Pei Zixuan silent, Song Xian took it as agreement and started to leave. Suddenly, crying came from behind again.

“Even you don’t want me, even you’re going to abandon me, I…” Pei Zixuan sobbed continuously. Although it seemed fake, it might be real.

“I’m so sad. Can you bear to leave me alone?” Pei Zixuan played the victim.

“Miss, your sadness has nothing to do with me; it’s your ex that makes you sad. Why don’t you find her?” Song Xian was amused.

Song Xian:

“If I could find her, why would I need you? Sob sob…” Pei Zixuan hugged Song Xian and cried loudly again.

Xiao Yutong and Jiang Lan rode their bikes a couple of laps and were out of breath. Thinking back to college, running ten laps was like a game; people can’t help but feel old.

They pushed their bikes and walked along the riverside, chatting a lot work, life, and love. She didn’t hide anything about her relationship with Song Xian and decided to break the contract and try dating Song Xian seriously.

Jiang Lan: “Who on earth is this that made you, this old iron tree, bloom?”

When she said this, Jiang Lan’s eyes were full of sadness. When Xiao Yutong was with Liu Qianwen, she never worried, because she always thought that relationship wouldn’t last, and at that time, she was still the most important person in Xiao Yutong’s heart.

But this time, Xiao Yutong seemed truly moved. They had been together for over ten years. In college, Jiang Lan wanted Xiao Yutong to confess but at that time Xiao Yutong said she only wanted a part-time thing, to focus on studies, no time for love. After working, they remained friends, and Jiang Lan dared not confess. She thought of being Xiao Yutong’s lifelong friend, so she dated others crazily, went to bars and nightclubs, but none of it helped her forget Xiao Yutong.

Even though she loved someone else, when holding others, her mind was still on Xiao Yutong. She was undeniably a bad person. With such a twisted heart, she stayed by Xiao Yutong’s side. But now she could confess what right did she have to confess? If Xiao Yutong knew her disgusting thoughts, she might want to cut ties. Jiang Lan herself felt disgusted.

Seeing Xiao Yutong happily sharing her happiness, she hesitated.

“How to say it? Sometimes you think she’s a rascal, a scoundrel. Sometimes you’re impressed by her talent, warmed by her kindness. She can surprise you and move you. But sometimes she also needs something from others,” Xiao Yutong spoke like a girl in love, a state Jiang Lan rarely saw in her best friend of ten years.

Jiang Lan always thought Xiao Yutong was much more mature, maybe because of family reasons. She had grown up thinking and bearing more than others. If someone could bring back her lost youthful joy and innocence, even if not Xiao Yutong, that would be good.

Maybe this time, she really should let go. Ten years of unrequited love will end in an unhappy but reasonable conclusion.

Jiang Lan: “So, are you really ready this time? To have a real relationship?”

From then till now, luck had never been on Xiao Yutong’s side, so she didn’t believe she’d be so lucky to meet love. But when she saw Song Xian throw herself into her arms worried, hold her gently when sad, hold her hand and run at a wedding, let her be silly when drunk

Seeing Song Xian tortured by past pain, she thought maybe this time fate was on her side. Love really had come. Because she wanted very much to protect someone.

Xiao Yutong was about to answer Jiang Lan: “I’m ready.”

But she glanced at two people not far away, intertwined. The one facing her was someone she recognized last time at Song Xian’s home, the woman. The back facing her was a figure she knew all too well. Even though the clothes were completely different from that morning, she could tell.

“Maybe I should reconsider.”