Diamond Dust - 11

Left alone at the desk, feeling awkward playing with idle hands, I tidied up the empty glasses we had drunk from and rearranged the remaining pamphlets unnecessarily. Then, suddenly, a shadow fell over the desk.

“Can I have a pamphlet?”

Looking up, I saw a man from the passenger seat smiling.

The smile itself seemed fresh, but oddly enough, there was something in it that made viewers feel resistant. It was probably due to his light tone and seemingly flippant attitude.

I handed him a pamphlet, but he seemed not particularly interested in it.

“I recently moved to the 32nd floor. I used to live in a single-family house with a garden, but moving to a high-rise building feels like being trapped and rather bleak. Can you recommend a painting? The name is….”

The man looked around my chest area as if searching for a name tag.

“Seo Ihyun.”

The man, who had been eyeing me with a smiling gaze, shook his head lightly.

“Even your name is a preference.”

That was a self-deprecating remark.

Since the man had been acting somewhat flirtatiously from the moment I saw him at the front door, though it seemed more like a joke, and I hadn’t received a direct proposal of anything, I found no particular reason to react. He didn’t seem to expect a reaction from me. From the beginning to now, he had been talking and amusing himself alone.

“I’d like you to recommend one piece. What would be good? Something that could help me relax.”

“I’m just a temporary helper today….”

“That’s fine. Just recommend something. I’ll only use it as a reference.”

The manager and Ms. Yuni were already dealing with customers. I couldn’t see the teacher and Mr. Juhan since they were in another section. Although I was reluctant, knowing that he asked for a recommendation even though he knew I was a temporary worker, it didn’t seem like there would be any problems if I did what he asked.

“Where do you plan to put it?”

“Well… If you recommend it, I’d like to hang it in the bedroom….”

The man laughed, putting an emphatic stress on the word “bedroom.” He then left the desk, smiling with a light expression, like a typical playboy from a TV drama.

There were about 50 pieces of artwork displayed in the exhibition.

This exhibition featured a joint display by seven or eight artists affiliated with the gallery, with some exhibiting as few as two pieces and others as many as ten or more. Since I had helped prepare all night, I had a rough idea of the images and locations of the paintings.

Without hesitation, I walked to a painting, which was on a square canvas measuring 53 centimeters on each side.

The painting was a bizarre interpretation in Cubist style with a cheerful and lively cartoon-like style. On the contrary, it had dark and heavy colors.

“This one? This painting?”

The man asked repeatedly, as if he didn’t understand why I was recommending this painting. I nodded my head twice.

The man, after glancing between the painting and me, looked around as if searching for someone, then called the representative who was talking with three or four people in front of a large Pop Art piece.

“Kun, come over here.”

The representative, apologizing to the people he was talking to, approached us.

Though I wasn’t very tall, I was not short either. The tips of the man’s lips were at my nose level, and the representative’s lips were at the man’s nose level. The representative was easily over 190 centimeters tall.

As he got closer, he had a look of annoyance on his face again. After all, a sweet, romantic smile would be an unnecessary option for the man from the passenger seat and me.

Standing with one hand in his pants pocket, he urged the man to get to the point.

“I asked for a painting to hang in the bedroom, and you’re recommending my painting. What do you think?”

The representative’s gaze turned to me. Though it had only been two days, it was the longest gaze I had received from him during that time. It was neither indifferent nor hostile, and it was the first genuine look I had received.

His gaze was not like a lion observing a potentially threatening stray animal; it was more like a lion watching an individual with careful attention, as if gathering information through my eyes.

When his gaze moved away from me, I was struck by the coincidence that the painting I recommended was indeed the work of the man from the passenger seat.

“How do you think this painting would suit me?”

“I didn’t realize you were the artist of this painting.”

“You wouldn’t have. I’m not asking about that; I’m curious why you recommended this painting to me.”

The man from the passenger seat seemed to find this situation quite enjoyable.

“Can you be honest? Please.”

Was he so hungry for honest feedback that he even added “please”? With his hands clasped in a prayer-like gesture and his eyes on my lips, I glanced at the painting one more time.

I had never been curious about other people’s opinions on my paintings since I was absorbed in painting them alone. However, recalling the emotions evoked by my one and only award and the critique from that time, I could understand the man’s feelings.

“Although it seems to show everything honestly, there’s something not quite honest….”

“Not honest?”

“Somehow, it feels similar.”

“Similar to me and this painting?”

“Yes.”

“Is it not honest? To me and this painting?”

The man, pressing his face close and firing questions, made me involuntarily take a step back.

“It’s somewhat different… It’s a state of wanting to be honest but unable to be… If you look at it in terms of revealing that state without reservation, it could be considered a form of honesty….”

The man’s face lost its playful expression, while the representative laughed out loud. Though it was a very brief laugh, it was a clear one.

“I’m sorry. I’m not very good with words… And it’s just my personal opinion, so don’t worry too much about it.”

The man from the passenger seat, looking momentarily flustered, soon bent forward and scrutinized my face with an interested gaze. His expression had already returned to its casual demeanor.

“What are you doing after today? I heard it ends at 6.”

The sudden shift in conversation was hard to follow.

“Cleaning up… I guess.”

At my answer, the man first dropped his exaggerated grin and showed a disappointed expression. He then tapped the representative’s arm, seeking agreement.

“Is this a dead end?”

The representative looked at me with a serious expression, as if seeking an answer in my face. I did not avoid his gaze.

What I faced was a beautifully vibrant color. Forgetting for a moment that it was a human eye, I immersed myself in the living beauty of the color, slowly appreciating it first with my left eye and then with my right eye.

The next moment, the man’s focus shifted away from my gaze without hesitation.

“Do you really want to deal with someone ten years younger than you, whether it’s a dead end or not?”

The representative, clicking his tongue, said this and turned his back, returning to his original place.

As I listened to the man from the passenger seat, who mentioned knowing the best dumpling soup restaurant in Seoul and asking for some time, I wondered if I had ever told the representative my age.

■ ■ ■

“Did you really underline everything in the editor’s book?”

Mr. Juhan and I placed the remaining six bottles of champagne from the party on the large conference table in the office. The representative opened one bottle and poured it into glasses while asking the teacher with a mischievous smile.

“Do you have time for that these days? It’s been less than two weeks since that book was released. Think about how we’ve spent those two weeks.”

Taking the glass handed to him, the teacher, who had grown tired from standing all the time, rested his leg on the table and answered.

“So what is it?”

“What, Ihyun?”

The teacher, as if he was already curious, demanded an answer from me.

“I thought it shouldn’t look too much like a new book…. I wanted to make it look used, so I touched it up in the taxi, made some underlines… folded a few corners… I did it that way.”

Technically, the instruction was only to buy the book. However, since the teacher had mentioned actually reading the book and it would be awkward to present a newly purchased book for signatures just for show, I did it to avoid that embarrassment. Now, with it becoming a topic of discussion, I was nervous, wondering if I had done something unnecessary.

After successfully finishing the party, the atmosphere, which had been warm in celebration of decent sales, momentarily grew cold. The source of this coldness was, of course, the representative. As I felt yesterday, he had a talent for leading the mood with just his gaze and expressions. It wasn’t just because of his position as the owner.

“He might get upset if his own book is handled carelessly. Underlining and folding pages… isn’t there a lot of people who dislike that?”

He mumbled to himself as he sipped his champagne.

“I only thought it should show signs of being read. I’m sorry.”

“Ihyun, why are you apologizing? Kun, what’s wrong? Are you going too far?”

The teacher slammed his champagne glass down on the table.

“I wasn’t criticizing. I was just asking if you hadn’t considered the opposite perspective.”

Shrugging, he avoided the teacher’s gaze while pretending to sip his champagne.

Although it wasn’t the same cold hostility as yesterday, his attitude remained skewed. The teacher seemed a bit angry. It was rare.

“Representative Ryu is results-oriented and performance-oriented. If the sales increased because of Ihyun’s efforts, he should give a bonus. Why is he being so picky? I brought him here. Does he not like it?”

His eyes slowly turned toward me. I couldn’t tell how personally close the teacher and the representative were, but I could feel that he trusted the teacher completely. At least he didn’t have a look of annoyance or a villainous grin towards the teacher. Nor did he have a mechanical smile armed with harmful sweetness like a candy made in a factory.

“What’s it matter whether he likes it or not? It’s someone who just helped for a bit. You know I’m uncomfortable working with strangers. If a bonus is to be given, I’ll give it if Manager Han says so.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Oh, you haven’t changed at all.”

The teacher shook his head, finished his remaining champagne, and emptied the glass. He checked the time and got up from his seat.

There was an after-party with more important VVIPs following this.

“People don’t change after twenty-five,” the representative said, playfully massaging the teacher’s shoulder. He took out a card from his wallet and handed it to Yuni.

“Thanks for your hard work today. Have fun after you finish cleaning up.”

Yuni, who was organizing the remaining pamphlets, quickly ran to grab the card. Her eyes sparkled as she asked.

“Is this a corporate card? Representative’s personal card?”

He flicked Yuni’s forehead with a scowl.

“Why are you so obsessed with that? Do you like my money that much?”

“Yes, it feels like affection.”

“There’s no affection in a corporate card, so stop talking nonsense.”

The catering items and leftover food had all been cleaned up and taken away by the service provider. We just needed to tidy up a bit inside and out to finish the day. As I was about to go upstairs to start cleaning up, Juhan hesitated and spoke with an apologetic expression.

“Is our representative… a bit unsettling?”

“Don’t worry too much. He’s like that with anyone he meets for the first time, not just with Ihyun.”

Yuni added a comment.

“It was even worse when I first came here. I was so mad I even thought about scratching up cars with nails and going into hiding. Seriously. It was intense.”

Thinking of how he treats Juhan now, it was hard to imagine. However, judging by Juhan’s expression, it didn’t seem like a story made up to comfort me.

“But if I had done that, he would have found me and made me pay somehow… so I gave up on scratching up cars. I felt like he would find me, strip me naked, and scratch me up with nails.”

Juhan’s face crumpled as if he had actually received such a threat from the representative.

“Well, don’t you think the way you were so forward with the representative might be a big cause?”

Yuni, who was placing “Sold Out” stickers on the artworks sold today, said this.

“Hey, who was forward? It’s the pheromones! How could I resist Golden Alpha pheromones?”

“What are you talking about? Why would the representative release pheromones in front of you? And you’re a beta.”

After Juhan had gone on and on about the representative’s excellent pheromone control, he seemed embarrassed by his own flimsy excuse and glanced at me.

“What I’m saying is, the representative’s personality is just unpleasant in general, not that he particularly dislikes Ihyun. That’s the point. The representative being picky isn’t about disliking someone. He treats everyone like that before he starts to like them.”

Whether this was comforting or not, it seemed true that he wasn’t picking on me specifically.

As Juhan and I carried the table with all the legs folded and moved it to the railing, he added.

“And with someone like the representative, if he sets his mind to it, he could even use pheromones on a beta.”

Yuni, leaning against a partition dividing the sections, frowned.

“Pheromones aren’t like a hero’s special move. Use them to feed?”

“Well, if he decides to use them, they could become a special move. Hey, and do you know what’s stronger than pheromones?”

Juhan looked back and forth between Yuni and me. Neither of us had an answer. Juhan raised his chin slightly and assumed a somewhat arrogant stance.

“It’s a matter of taste, taste. There’s taste beyond pheromones. At first, I was slightly swayed by Golden Alpha pheromones, but once I came to my senses, they weren’t my taste. My taste is…”

A passionate discourse about Juhan’s taste, caught between youth and middle age with a slightly sagging face, continued.

From their conversation so far, it seemed Juhan’s romantic interest might be men. And he didn’t seem to try to hide his preferences even in front of me, who wasn’t very close to him. I also had no intention of pushing him beyond a special line for that reason.

Yuni shook her head, as if she had heard it many times before. Then, as if there was no need to listen, she grabbed my wrist and headed down the stairs.

Looking back, there was no reason to dislike someone I had only met twice. Like the teacher and Yuni said, it was just the representative’s consistent attitude towards strangers.

I wondered what it would feel like to be “specially” disliked by him.

I thought there might have been many people among those who came to the exhibition earlier who would want to be “special” to him, even if it meant being disliked.