Divorce Application - Chapter 20
Chapter 20: Thoughtful
Liu Sinan sat in front of the vanity, quietly looking at herself in the mirror.
Every part of this vanity table was personally designed by Li Jinping.
The eight layers of meticulously crafted makeup drawers, the tabletop at just the right height for her when she knelt, the antique hand-polished bronze mirror…
Liu Sinan didn’t spend much time in this room. It was just a temporary stop for her, but Li Jinping hadn’t been perfunctory. Instead, she had personally designed every detail.
The four corners of the table, the corners of the cabinet doors, every sharp edge in the bedroom was rounded off. From the headboard to the bedroom door, the path was clear and unobstructed, so she could find her way out even with her eyes closed.
When Liu Sinan woke up in the middle of the night, she didn’t like to open her eyes. She often put on her slippers with her eyes closed and would only open them after a few steps.
Because of this, she would often bump into things in unfamiliar places.
Once, the two of them were traveling and staying in a hotel suite. Liu Sinan drank too much water at night and woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.
She was half-asleep, thinking she was at home. She slept on the inside, and Li Jinping slept on the outside, so she fumbled to step over Li Jinping to get out of bed.
But this time, Li Jinping had gone to bed early and was sleeping on the inside. The moment she stepped over Li Jinping, she had an intimate encounter with the wall, making a “thump” sound.
Li Jinping was jolted awake by the noise. Before she was even fully conscious, she subconsciously hugged Liu Sinan. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Liu Sinan held her head, feeling both pain and drowsiness, and also a desperate need to pee.
She snuggled into Li Jinping’s arms, tugging at the collar of Li Jinping’s pajamas, and whimpered, “I hit the wall.”
Li Jinping was stunned for a moment, then couldn’t help but laugh for a long time. “You silly girl.”
Liu Sinan was so annoyed that she slid out of her arms, turning her back to her.
Li Jinping hugged her waist from behind. Her voice, husky from just waking up, had a rising intonation that was very alluring.
Her fingers rested lightly on Liu Sinan’s lower abdomen, and she whispered, “Need to go to the bathroom?”
Liu Sinan held back from answering.
“Alright,” Li Jinping wrapped one arm around Liu Sinan’s waist and, with a little force, picked her up in a cradle carry. “Let me see where you hit yourself?”
Li Jinping turned on the small night light and checked her forehead in the dim light.
“Tsk,” Li Jinping cleared her throat and said with exaggerated seriousness, “It’s really red.”
She stopped speaking, and Liu Sinan quietly lifted her head, her watery, big eyes full of indignation. “Where is it red?”
“Of course, my little fawn’s face is red. Your little face is pink from holding it in,” Li Jinping pinched her cheek, and a light kiss landed on the corner of her eye. Her slightly cold voice had a perfect huskiness. “You hit your head and can’t walk, so you need your big sister to carry you to the bathroom, huh?”
Liu Sinan was so flustered that her scalp tingled. She was too shy to open her eyes, her eyelashes fluttering rapidly, and her face was flushed crimson.
“I’m not teasing you anymore,” Li Jinping laughed softly for a moment, then got up, pulled her up, and led her to the bathroom, holding her hand. “My little fawn has poor eyesight and is prone to bumping into things at night. She needs someone to hold her hand.”
She said she wasn’t teasing her, but her words were still mocking her. However, Liu Sinan didn’t have time to feel embarrassed. She gripped her hand tightly, following closely behind.
Li Jinping led her just like that.
She led her out of a life of endless nightmares and a life of despair and degradation.
She was just such a clumsy person, afraid of the dark yet completely unguarded; she feared intimacy with others but couldn’t bear to be alone; and even though she loved someone fiercely, all that came out of her mouth were hurtful words.
They were already divorced, but in the days after the divorce, Li Jinping had never initiated contact with her. She had repeatedly bothered Li Jinping, even showing up at her doorstep, but each time, Li Jinping gave her the care she needed.
This gave her a false sense of security.
A delusion that there was still someone behind her and a place to return to.
In the end, it was because she wasn’t independent or strong enough.
Li Jinping had given her a warm embrace to rest in, holding her for seven years, allowing that warmth to become a part of her very bones, and then one day, she let go, giving her back her freedom.
But she had reached a point where she could only feel free when Li Jinping was holding her, only in Li Jinping’s embrace.
She was completely, utterly, unable to stay away.
The tangible marriage was over. Li Jinping had personally opened the luxurious golden cage, but an invisible one was tightly binding her completely, making it impossible for her to leave even a single step, no matter how difficult the journey, leaving her to constantly hover in place, unable to rest.
Liu Sinan stared at her hands for a long time and said to herself, “Li Jinping, I really want to go down my own path, but as soon as I try, the karma from my past wraps around me like a vine, making it hard to breathe.”
“Before, that karma was my unbearable memories. But now, that karma is you.”
“I will try to move forward… but I’m so scared. Scared that I won’t be able to resist looking back, and even more scared that when I do, you won’t be there.”
…
Liu Sinan was not in a good mood. She hadn’t recovered the next day and was still in her pajamas when the doorbell rang.
“Who is it?” There was a small screen by the door that showed who was outside. Liu Sinan shuffled in her slippers. “Who are you looking for?”
Standing outside was a middle-aged woman holding a shopping bag full of fruits and vegetables.
“Me, me, me, she’s mine,” Wu Haoxue scurried out when she heard the voice. The moment she opened the door, her face was beaming. “Aunt Sun, you’re here!”
The person called Aunt Sun smiled as she looked at Wu Haoxue. “Miss, you’ve grown taller after not seeing you for a few months.”
“Aunt Sun, don’t joke with me,” Wu Haoxue took the bag from Aunt Sun’s hand and placed it in Liu Sinan’s. “It’s been years since my growth plates closed. I haven’t grown in a long time.”
Liu Sinan’s hand dropped with the weight of the bag. She noticed that besides vegetables, there were also various bulging supplements inside.
“This must be Little Nan,” Aunt Sun put on her slippers, recognized her after a moment, and said with a smile, “You’re even prettier than when you were a child.”
Liu Sinan was a little surprised. As she walked to the living room, she turned back and asked in confusion, “You know me?”
Aunt Sun walked over with a pleasant smile, clearly in a good mood. “I had already been working at the Wu’s for a long time when you guys moved away, so you don’t remember me. You were 14 then, right in the middle of your growth spurt, and you were a head taller than Xiao Xue. She would draw a line on the wall every day and jump a hundred times, hoping to grow taller.”
Wu Haoxue was embarrassed by Aunt Sun revealing her private information. She pushed her into the kitchen, rushing her, “Oh, Aunt Sun, don’t just stand there and talk. I’m hungry. I want to eat your crispy fried pork!”
“I’m not here to cook for you,” Aunt Sun tapped Wu Haoxue’s hand, squatted down to pull out a few ginseng-like herbs from the bag, and then sized up Liu Sinan from the bottom up. “Little Nan is too thin. She needs to be nourished. First, a week of the bone fracture meal plan, and then a week of nutritious meals.”
Liu Sinan immediately understood why Aunt Sun was here. She quickly shook her head and backed away. “No, no, no, that’s too much trouble. I’m perfectly healthy. How can I trouble you…”
“Thank you, Aunt Sun!” Wu Haoxue gave a sweet smile, hanging onto Aunt Sun’s back, and winked at Liu Sinan. “But you can’t be too biased. I need to be nourished, too!”
Aunt Sun laughed heartily. “Okay, I’ll nourish both of you.”
During the time Aunt Sun was cooking, Liu Sinan pulled Wu Haoxue to the balcony and whispered, “Why did you call your family’s nanny over? Are we really that useless and lazy?”