Divorce Application - Chapter 33

Chapter 33: A Trip Down Memory Lane

This year, the Frost’s Descent was much earlier than in previous years. The night was as thick as water, and a dense fog settled in the early morning.

Li Jinping hadn’t slept well all night. She felt sore all over, as if she had been run over by a large truck. It took her a while to even move her arm.

Despite the lack of sleep, the biological clock she had developed over many years still made her sit up when the clock pointed to six.

She got up and walked to the French window, found a chair, and sat down. She looked at the desolate autumn scenery outside the window and felt a sense of weariness, as if she was up but still had no energy.

Sometimes she would think that she was already thirty-seven years old. In a few more years, she would be forty, and her life would be more than halfway over.

For an ordinary person her age, their children would have grown up, and they would be looking forward to having grandchildren. But so far, she was still alone.

These days, she worked, worked, and worked tirelessly. She flew abroad a few times, and each time she landed and adjusted to the time difference, it wasn’t as easy as before.

Aging starts with the eyes. Maybe she was old, and time would eventually take back all the favors it had bestowed upon her. In the mirror, there weren’t many wrinkles on her face, but her eyes were already old, withered, and listless.

But maybe it was just because she had left Liu Sinan.

Li Jinping gently spread her five fingers and pressed them against the glass. A circle of white mist quickly gathered around her five fingertips. The coldness traveled from her fingers all the way inward, making her shiver.

There was nothing in the garden. The turned-over soil was still exposed, leaving only the roots of the roses and the fallen leaves from the violent uprooting.

A messy and desolate black and yellow filled the garden that was once full of life. A month ago, the roses were in full bloom, with dark green, deep white, and deep red flowers intertwining like a richly colored oil painting. When the wind blew, the roses in the garden swayed, creating uneven waves. And under the phoenix tree, a person holding a large teacup would stand and admire the flowers. Now, the phoenix leaves covered the spot where that person once stood. The ground was covered with fallen leaves, leaving only emptiness.

As Li Jinping looked, the cold and sticky feeling in her heart rose.

She took several deep breaths, but she still couldn’t shake it off.

Sometimes she felt like a mushroom growing in a cut log. It was dark, damp, and couldn’t grow in the light. That kind of melancholy, like a parasite in her bones, would occasionally give her a splitting headache. The condition would come and go, always recurring.

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there. The sunlight had already shone on the wasted garden. Li Jinping’s door was knocked on three times. When it was knocked on for the fourth time, she cleared her throat and said in a hoarse voice, “Come in.”

Housekeeper Wang came in with a white porcelain bowl and gently placed it in front of Li Jinping. “Ms. Lin Xia’s hand has been checked. It’s a superficial wound. After some time, it will be fine.”

Li Jinping was still looking out the window, not moving at all. She just hummed in response.

Housekeeper Wang hesitated, glanced at Li Jinping, and then lowered her head. “Madam needs daily massages. Ms. Lin Xia’s hand is injured like this, so she definitely can’t do it. We need to find someone else.”

Li Jinping said, “Get Yang Ya.”

Yang Ya was the doctor who was called yesterday. Her father, Yang Li, had been the Li family’s private doctor for over ten years, and Yang Ya herself worked at the Li family’s private hospital.

Housekeeper Wang nodded and sighed. “Ms. Lin Xia knows how important her hands are. Even if she was mad at Ms. Liu, she shouldn’t have put her hand in the car door. Not only did she hurt herself for no reason, but it also affected madam’s treatment.”

“This is today’s medicine. Please remember to take it, madam.” Housekeeper Wang complained for a few sentences, put down the food and medicine, and discreetly left.

Li Jinping never turned her head. The moment the door closed, her entire body sagged a few centimeters.

Just these few centimeters made her look much more dejected.

She lowered her eyelids, opened the white porcelain bowl, and listlessly took a look. She picked up a spoon and ate the contents without tasting anything, then swallowed the pills.

Lin Xia was a serious person, a top student from a prestigious school. The research direction of her doctoral dissertation was very relevant to Li Jinping’s illness. Lin Xia had approached her on her own initiative, hoping to do something for her condition. In return, Li Jinping only needed to truthfully tell her about her recovery.

Li Jinping initially didn’t want to accept her suggestion, but her methods did work. They could alleviate her severe headaches, and reduce the frequency and severity of the attacks. So, Li Jinping gave her a very generous reward to treat her.

At first, Li Jinping was still wary and always refused hypnotic therapy. Later, she gradually let go of her guard and allowed herself to fall into a deep sleep for a moment, sinking into her subconscious to get a moment of sound sleep.

Li Jinping had no other intentions for Lin Xia. If Lin Xia could quietly stay by her side and treat her, she would give Lin Xia an even more generous reward, allowing her to live a life without worry.

But that was it.

After a while, a phone call from a senior executive of the company came in.

She managed over a dozen companies, and the phone calls from senior executives had different ringtones. It took Li Jinping a few seconds to slowly get up and get her phone.

“Boss, we’ve finished what you asked us to investigate,” a hoarse female voice said from the other end. “Zhao Qiran’s businesses are indeed problematic.”

This was a studio she had opened that was similar to a detective agency. It took on various tasks to gather information and served the upper class.

“Several KTVs and bars have had incidents. They were all covered up with money later, but I found a few people involved to get the details. Zhao Qiran’s business methods are definitely not legitimate…”

She had her subordinates expose the businesses. The methods didn’t have to be gentle. They had to be to the point, and it was best to make sure Zhao Qiran couldn’t get out.

This was Li Jinping’s usual resolute style. She didn’t like to make enemies, but once she made a move, she wouldn’t give her opponent a chance to recover.

She would strike at the leader, destroy their foundation, and nip the problem in the bud.

After she hung up the phone and calmed down, Li Jinping started to stare blankly again.

The time she spent staring blankly grew longer and longer, like a lifeless old person. She would sit for an entire afternoon.

Just now, when she was closing her phone, she happened to see the WeChat interface.

Her “little deer” was at the top of her WeChat list. Liu Sinan had changed her profile picture at some point. She had replaced the behind-the-scenes photo of the ‘Hao Fou’ fashion show with a white cartoon sun.

It was cute, sunny, and adorable, making people happy just by looking at it.

Just as Liu Sinan had shouted at her last night, she would continue to move forward, find someone she loved, and live a good life.

Li Jinping closed her eyes for a moment and suddenly felt like she had a tendency to self-harm.

She couldn’t help but think, and the pain in her heart was unbearable.

That feeling of her heart shrinking in pain and her head feeling like it was being chiseled open and filled with molten iron hadn’t appeared since her younger sister passed away. But recently, it had been happening frequently.

She had known since she was a child that she was different from other children. Other children would be sad and cry when they saw a dead cat or dog, but she couldn’t shed a single tear, not even at her father’s funeral.

Other children would pull their hands away when they touched fire and their legs would turn to jelly when they stood at a high place. Their genes told them to avoid life-threatening situations in time. The things written in their genes gave them the instinct to grow flexibly in society, but unfortunately, Li Jinping did not have that.

She wasn’t afraid of anything that threatened life. She wasn’t afraid of the dark, the uncanny valley effect, skeletons, ghosts, or bl00d. Nothing related to death could trigger her fear.

At the same time, she learned things very quickly. Once she learned something, she would get tired of it. One time, she was staring at her wrist and was suddenly curious about what was under her skin, so she took a blade to dissect it. Housekeeper Wang, who found her in time, stopped her.

This was also an important reason why housekeeper Wang was overjoyed when she found out that Li Jinping was raising a kitten.

A child who once wanted to dissect herself with a blade one day picked up a small animal that was countless times weaker than her and said she would raise it well. It looked like she had returned to normal.

Her mother was once very afraid. She personally took her to countless masters and begged them to teach her benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and faith. She even begged the gods, Buddhas, and the Western Jesus to bless her poor child and let her grow up safely and smoothly.

The wisdom of her ancestors washed over her soul and also created a transparent and powerful shell, wrapping her broken and endangered inner self. The gentle and elegant traditional culture molded her into an elegant and less aggressive person.

But these methods only worked when they were applied consistently for over a decade. In Li Jinping’s childhood, her mother had to watch over her every day and spend all her energy taking care of her.

And during this time, her father was not only absent but also had countless mistresses. One of them even got pregnant because they didn’t take precautions.

When that mistress came to the door with a little girl who was less than two years old, Li Jinping was being punished by her mother for kneeling because of an unfinished calligraphy scroll.

The little mistress was pretty and in her early twenties. The look in her mother’s eyes was not disgust or rejection, unlike housekeeper Wang. Li Jinping could even see a faint look of pity in her mother’s eyes.

“Please go back. I have no obligation to raise his child,” her mother repeated this gently to the crying girl. “I can provide you with legal assistance to make him pay you alimony.”

The little mistress was not there to cause a scene. She was young and inexperienced and thought that if she had a child, she would be treated differently. But she never expected Li Jinping’s father to be a cold, selfish, and heartless man. Not only did he not acknowledge that the child was his, but he also stopped giving her money. With nowhere else to go, the little mistress had no choice but to come to their house.

Her mother was a gentle but strong person. In this regard, Li Jinping was very similar to her. She also had pity, but that was all.

Until Li Jinping suddenly spoke.

When the little mistress was crying, the little girl she had brought with her broke free from her mother’s hand and walked over to Li Jinping by herself.

The little girl was so delicate. Li Jinping thought that the freshly made Japanese tofu wasn’t as delicate as her. The delicate tofu couldn’t stand steadily. She wobbled her way over to her and then plopped down on the ground.

With a soft thump, the little girl’s body was light, so it didn’t hurt even when she hit the ground. She was stunned for a moment, then she started to laugh.

Her laugh was pure and crisp. She clapped her hands as she laughed and mumbled “doesn’t hurt, doesn’t hurt.” She tried several times before she finally stood up, wobbled to Li Jinping’s side, and pulled on her sleeve.

“Get up… to play,” the little girl’s baby voice was muffled in her mouth and hard to understand, but her big eyes blinked, and she wasn’t afraid of her. “Play!”

Li Jinping watched her for a long time and then suddenly said, “I’ll raise her.”

Since Li Jinping wanted to raise her, she was no longer the child of a mistress who was to be kicked out. She became Li Jinping’s exclusive toy.

Li Jinping started by taking care of a child’s food, drink, and daily needs. From this little sun-like baby, she gradually learned about warmth and coldness. The purity and innocence of the child were like a bridge leading Li Jinping to the human world. She learned to experience joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, and to worry and care like an elder.

A person who can take care of others is a “complete person.” Li Jinping learned to take care of a child growing up without any guidance, and in the process, she became a mature adult.

Her younger sister was tied to her humanity, rationality, warmth, and past… all the precious things. She was her armor, the scabbard that held her sharp blade.

So, when she saw her younger sister’s incomplete body, put in black plastic bags piece by piece and carried off a smuggler’s boat like minced meat, the fated nightmare found her and never left.

Li Jinping quickly distracted herself. With powerful self-control, she took care of all the aftermath. To avoid touching on the sad memories, she even had her younger sister’s tombstone erected in the United States and had the servants remove all of her younger sister’s belongings from the house, strictly forbidding anyone from mentioning her.

She took herself out of the unbearable pain, but she also knew that the wound wouldn’t get better if she covered it. It would only fester bit by bit into her bones.

She had lived alone for all these years, burying her head in the sand and deceiving herself, until she met Liu Sinan.

Li Jinping couldn’t be sure if she saw her younger sister’s shadow in Liu Sinan. Maybe in the first glance of stunning beauty, there was some impure element mixed in.

Liu Sinan and her younger sister were not alike. One was beautiful and independent, and the other was cheerful and lively. But the feelings they both gave Li Jinping were surprisingly similar.

They both made her willing to pursue, to give, to possess, and to protect.

The pursuit of her younger sister’s pure smile and kind closeness was more like a child grabbing a toy—I like it, so I must have it.

The pursuit of Liu Sinan was more like huddling together for warmth. She was too cold and wanted to absorb some fresh warmth to have the ability to move forward. This was more like a calculated desire and possession of an adult.

She saw Liu Sinan in a video, wearing a light blue floral dress, with her legs wrapped in pink gold stockings. She was wearing an outfit with the theme of “vitality.” She walked calmly to the end, and the second before she turned around for the camera, she suddenly looked up, and a sharp sarcasm burst out from the corner of her eyes.

Liu Sinan was pure and world-weary, innocent and pessimistic. The experiences before she was fourteen left a trace of pure kindness in her heart, but the experiences after fourteen made her stand on that kindness and coldly and distantly observe the world.

This made Li Jinping unable to resist the urge to explore and protect that changed kindness, and even want to be an “older sister” again, wanting to restore Liu Sinan to her original self.

So she appeared at that car show, stood in front of Liu Sinan, and followed the carefully designed steps to spend a fortune on her, leaving her contact information. Then she instructed a company employee to call Liu Sinan and say that the matter of her fraudulently receiving student charity funds had been confirmed and to ask her to come to the company to cooperate with the investigation.

That day, Liu Sinan was wearing a long gray trench coat. A scarf wrapped up to below her eyes, revealing only a pair of quiet and silent eyes.

The company employee repeatedly confirmed Liu Sinan’s identity and said in a business-like manner, “Ms. Liu, according to our regulations, your situation will be included in our charity blacklist. But considering that you just turned eighteen, are in a difficult financial situation, and have actively cooperated with our investigation, we will keep a six-month review period. After six months, your information will be automatically deleted from the system.”

Liu Sinan’s chin was hidden in her scarf, and she nodded softly. “Thank you. I’m very sorry.”

“But if Ms. Liu can return the fraudulently claimed subsidy, we can also consider…” The employee said hesitantly, but before she could finish, she was interrupted by Liu Sinan. “I’ve already spent all the money.”

“You don’t have to worry. As soon as I have enough money, I will transfer the funds back to your account. I have already raised a sum of money and will be able to pay it off soon,” Liu Sinan said in a low voice. “I’m really sorry.”

The employee looked at her, sighed, tidied up the documents, and left.

Liu Sinan sat by herself for a while, looking down at her knees, not knowing what she was thinking.

“What are you thinking about?” Li Jinping raised her hand and knocked on the door. She gave a polite smile when Liu Sinan turned her head. “We meet again.”

Liu Sinan stood up awkwardly. After Li Jinping had spent a fortune on her, she went back and looked up Li Jinping’s information. She naturally knew that the subsidy she had fraudulently received came from Li Jinping’s company.

Now that the person was standing right in front of her, Liu Sinan’s face flushed. She was so embarrassed that she didn’t know where to look.

“I’ll talk to them so you won’t be put on the blacklist,” Li Jinping said with a smile as she walked over, holding a cup of hot coffee in her hand. She handed it to Liu Sinan. “Are you not busy with work today?”

Liu Sinan took the coffee. The rich aroma gradually enveloped her body, and the warm feeling gradually made her relax. Liu Sinan thought for a moment and smiled. “No work. I don’t have to work for a while.”

Li Jinping was happy to see her. She asked curiously, “Why?”

“Because you helped me solve a very big problem,” Liu Sinan said, holding the coffee cup and looking at her with sparkling eyes. “Thank you so much.”

Li Jinping said, “Oh? Was it a problem that money could solve?”

Liu Sinan tilted her head and thought for a moment, then smiled. “Pretty much. You helped me pay off my debts, so I can finally change landlords and move to a much safer neighborhood. For a while, I won’t have to worry about the neighbors fighting or the landlord kicking me out.”

When Liu Sinan said this, she was full of pure happiness and didn’t care about the difficult life she had lived before. It was as if she was given a piece of candy, and she was only willing to show the joy of having that candy.

Liu Sinan’s height was only average for a model. Her good proportions made up for it, but she was still much taller than the average person.

But Li Jinping was a little taller than her. Perhaps it was because she always stood elegantly. When she was holding the coffee, her body was straight, and her neck was long, as if she was tasting a glass of fine wine. Every subtle change was so beautiful it could be painted.

Liu Sinan said, “Your clothes are so beautiful.”

She had never seen such exquisite embroidery before. Even when her family was wealthy before she was fourteen, her mother didn’t have a fondness for it. She preferred to buy new designer brands rather than traditional, retro-style clothes.

Li Jinping was wearing a loose-fitting long dress. The hem was an inch below her knees. The slit had an inner lining. The neckline was adorned with complex and exquisite blue phoenix embroidery that was very three-dimensional. However, the overall loose design made it more modern and fashionable, so it didn’t look out of place.

Li Jinping raised her arm so that she could see the outfit clearly, and then said, “The clothes you’re wearing today also suit you very well.”

“I got this from a vintage store,” Liu Sinan smiled and raised her eyebrows. “You’re not lying to me, are you? This is just a simple coat.”

Li Jinping shook her head and extended a hand. Her fingers gently brushed against the edge of her sleeve and a button. “This is a style that was popular among English nobles in the 1960s. However, it was mostly for men. There would be a belt designed here.”

Li Jinping’s fingers pressed down slightly, pressing the fabric down half an inch, resting below Liu Sinan’s waistline. “The belt for men’s clothes is designed to be above the hips and below the waist, which not only shows off the proportions but also makes them look majestic and energetic. The thirty-degree gray also makes the color more elegant and gentlemanly. Many nobles at the time loved this style.”

“When I bought it, the person also said that this outfit originally came with a belt,” Liu Sinan never expected that Li Jinping could tell her the history of a random piece of clothing. “What about this button? I saw you looking at it just now.”

“The button was probably replaced later,” Li Jinping said with a smile and shook her head. “It’s too out of place. The wooden button doesn’t match the overall style. The original design here… should have been copper or bone.”

Liu Sinan said, “Then does that mean I’m wearing men’s clothes?”

Li Jinping looked at her for a while. “You can’t say that. The West was already very open in the last century. Many women liked to wear men’s clothes. And this style doesn’t have very obvious male features. For example, the shoulders. On you, it has a loose, draped feel. If a man wore it, it might be tight.”

Liu Sinan was so impressed that she was completely in awe of Li Jinping’s beauty and knowledge.

She was so captivated by Li Jinping’s words that she almost forgot why she was there. She was still a little embarrassed. “Um, Ms. Li, even though you don’t plan to hold me accountable for the fraudulent claim, I still want to say sorry and thank you.”

Li Jinping raised her chin. “The coffee is cold.”

Liu Sinan said, “Huh?”

“Drink your coffee,” Li Jinping said, then took a sip. Liu Sinan instinctively raised her cup and drank. The rich aroma of the coffee spread through her mouth, making her feel relaxed all over. In her relaxed state, she heard Li Jinping say nonchalantly, “Don’t tell me about these small things in the future.”

Liu Sinan didn’t know how to thank Li Jinping. “You’re a really good person. Really. The first time I saw you, I felt a sense of closeness. The clothes you wear, the Chinese you speak, they all make me feel so familiar.”

“You’re also the first Chinese person I’ve paid attention to in the United States,” Li Jinping looked outside. “I’ve been abroad for most of the past two years, and it’s hard to get a taste of my hometown cuisine.”

Liu Sinan followed her gaze, but she didn’t see anything. “Really? Ms. Li also has hometown dishes she can’t eat?”

Liu Sinan’s tone was full of doubt. Li Jinping was so rich that she could eat a Manchu Han Imperial Feast at any time and in any place, right?

But Li Jinping’s expression became serious. She stared at Liu Sinan and said very seriously, “Yes.”

“Food should be eaten while it’s hot. Maybe it’s because there’s no chef following me around to cook. By the time I get the food, it’s either thick or mushy,” Li Jinping said, thinking to herself. She also felt helpless. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had the first bite.”

Liu Sinan pursed her lips and thought for a long time, then suggested, “Then why don’t you come to my house for dinner, Ms. Li? I’ve grown some vegetables, and I can cook. I often make hometown dishes. I just don’t know if you eat spicy food, prefer sour or sweet flavors, or like light or salty food…”

Liu Sinan chattered on and on. Her voice got softer and softer, and she finally shut up and looked at Li Jinping, feeling awkward again.

Her eyes were timid, yet incredibly pure.

Like a reckless and beautiful little deer.

Li Jinping said, as if she were giving an important instruction, word by word, “Spicy, sweet, and light.”

Liu Sinan was stunned and quickly said, “I’ve got it!”

Li Jinping glanced at the door again, waved to Liu Sinan, and said in a low and fast voice, “Hurry up and go!”

Liu Sinan was confused and followed Li Jinping out the back door.

Liu Sinan said, “What’s wrong? Is someone going to come in from outside?”

Li Jinping stopped, laughed out loud, and said playfully, “Of course. This is the lounge. Of course, people will come in.”

Liu Sinan didn’t understand what someone coming in had to do with Li Jinping wanting to take her out the door. In the next moment, Li Jinping made a final decision. “My assistant is probably looking for me, but I don’t want to have the meeting today.”

Liu Sinan was still confused. “Huh?”

Li Jinping smiled. “Cancel the meeting and go to your house for dinner.”

After she said that, she took out her phone and sent a WeChat message to her assistant, then asked Liu Sinan, “Is that okay?”

“…Of course!” Liu Sinan, who had been stunned for a long time and was suddenly called out, replied loudly.

Li Jinping remembered that day she was driving a blue SUV. From the first day she saw Liu Sinan, when Liu Sinan was wearing a blue show outfit, her life had a lot more blue in it.

She had no dating experience at all. Her pursuit of Liu Sinan was the most insane adventure of her life.

She used all the things she had learned in the first half of her life to walk around Liu Sinan gently, elegantly, and calmly. When Liu Sinan needed her, she would appear, give her what she wanted, make her depend on her, trust her, and make her unable to live without her.