Don't Remember Me - Chapter 69

Chapter 69

For the woman he loved, he abandoned his position as the Grand Duke. And the fact that they have a child in between.

What must that life have been like?

But for some reason…

When Haven neared the bedroom, he suddenly stopped in his tracks and shook his head.

“… What the hell…”

It was a good thing no one could see into his mind. He set the bucket of firewood down and wiped his face with both hands, his expression filled with confusion.

In the image that flashed in his mind, the woman, the mother of Flitta… was none other than Rosé’s face.

“I’m out of my mind. How could I… How could I have let this happen? With the child so sick…”

No, it wasn’t just the child being sick—it was all nonsensical. Haven shook his head harshly. But he didn’t even realize that he had thought similar thoughts many times before. 

And every time, the cause was Rosé.

It was then.

From inside the bedroom, a sound reached his ears. Since he hadn’t fully closed the door behind him when he left, the sounds from inside the bedroom leaked out into the hallway.

A cough. Then Rosé’s voice… and… the voice of the child.

‘Has she woken up?’

Haven thought, recognizing Flitta’s voice. His steps quickened as he grabbed the metal bucket of firewood again. Just as he was about to enter the bedroom, he heard Flitta’s voice, weak and trembling with a cough:

“Cough, am I… am I going to die?”

Haven’s hand froze just before touching the door handle. He drew back, his heart tightening with the fear and despair in the child’s voice.

He clenched his teeth and lowered his head. He could see the bucket of firewood in his hands and the logs inside.

His lips twisted. He looked pathetic—his pride had been so inflated over the trivial task of bringing firewood, while his daughter was in pain, scared, and in need of comfort.

‘… What am I even doing?’

He was about to turn and leave, unable to bear the disgust with himself when Rosé’s soft voice stopped him.

“It’s not true, Princess. You’re not going to die.”

Trying to calm the sobbing child, Rosé spoke gently, but Flitta, still sniffling, continued:

“But they said it was a bad disease. I heard the maids talking… that it’s a really bad disease, and that it spreads to others. That’s why Dad… Dad sent me away, right? He should have sent me further away…”

“Princess…”

The maid’s comforting words were met with Flitta’s continued sobs:

“That maid… she screamed and ran away, afraid she’d catch it from me. I… I wonder if Dad hates me now. I broke the rule not to go outside… I wonder if he’ll never want to see me again. Maybe… maybe he wants me to die quickly.”

Haven’s heart broke as he heard the terrible words from his own daughter. He felt a sharp pain, as if something had cut through his chest. He had suspected his neglect had hurt Flitta, but hearing it so directly from her made the wound deeper.

‘No, Flitta… I…’ 

Haven wanted to explain, but he stopped himself. This wasn’t the time for that. Before he could even step into the room, Rosé’s voice interrupted again.

“Princess, do you know the meaning of your name?”

Flitta, in the middle of her crying, seemed distracted by the question. Perhaps Rosé had brought it up to divert the child’s attention from her worries. 

Haven quietly placed the metal bucket by the door, leaning against the wall as he listened. His guilt still weighed heavily on him, but for a moment, Flitta seemed to forget her pain and became curious.

‘Should I laugh at her innocence… or cry?’

Haven swallowed a bitter laugh and sighed softly. At least she was awake. That was something, a small relief.

‘I need to tell the physician that she’s awake.’ 

As he thought about that, he heard Rosé respond to Flitta’s question:

“Your name comes from a wildflower.”

“Wildflower?”

“Yes. It’s a little red flower that doesn’t easily wilt, even in the winter. The name ‘Flitta’ comes from that flower. It’s strong, even in harsh conditions.”

“This flower’s name is Flitta. It’s not flashy, but it’s strong and doesn’t easily wilt, even in winter.”

The voice from his memories echoed with Rosé’s, causing a dizzying headache. Haven staggered, the world around him spinning.

Flitta.

The name that had slipped out of his mouth when the steward asked what to name the child.

“Flitta. Let’s call her that.”

Why had that name come so easily? He hadn’t known its meaning, hadn’t even realized it was the name of a wildflower.

It was such a simple, unremarkable name for the child of the Guinters family, the Duke’s heir. No wonder the steward had looked at him strangely.

‘Now I understand why Yannick looked at me like that.’

Haven chuckled bitterly and opened the door a little wider. Through the gap, he saw Rosé sitting on the bed, holding Flitta in her arms, comforting her like a mother.

Rosé gently stroked Flitta’s head and spoke again:

“I heard that it was His Grace, the Duke, who named you.”

“Yeah… Dad… he named me.”

“Your father must have hoped you’d grow strong, like that flower. He probably named you Flitta so that you would grow strong, healthy, even in the coldest winter.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Your name carries that meaning. Your father would never have named you without thinking of that. He’s very smart, after all.”

Haven felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. He hadn’t known the meaning of Flitta’s name when he gave it to her. It had been a spontaneous decision, unthinking.

How had that happened? 

‘To give her the name of a wildflower, without knowing what it meant?’

His blue eyes wavered with confusion. In the midst of it all, Flitta seemed to feel a bit better. She stopped coughing and smiled.

“I want to see that flower. Cough, what does Flitta look like? I’ve never seen it in the garden.”

“A wildflower, so it’s probably hard to see here. In the countryside, they’re easy to spot, but not in a place like this. When you’re healthy again, we can go see the flowers together.”

“Really?”

“Of course. But first, you need to take your medicine and rest. Only then will you get better quickly and be able to see the flowers.”

As Rosé helped Flitta take her medicine and settled her back into bed, Haven stood at the door, watching. 

He stayed there for a moment, then gently closed the door without making a sound. He moved the metal bucket of firewood just outside the bedroom door, where it would be visible as soon as it opened, and then turned away.