Double Junk - 120

His fingers tingled. It felt like cement had hardened between his bones. And there was no strength either. Even bending and straightening his fingers required effort.

Ajin blankly stared at his own hand. It felt strange. It wasn’t a sudden accident, yet the feeling of injustice at what happened to his wrist came first.

At that moment, a hand came from behind and replaced the blanket Ajin was about to lift. The thick blanket covered Auntie’s shoulders. Ajin quickly turned around.

“…”

Seokju flinched at the sudden gaze, trembling his shoulders. Then he subtly leaned his upper body backward. He seemed like a mouse hiding in a hole. It was an unexpected movement. Because of that, Ajin felt a strange sensation, as if he had triumphed over him with just a glance.

After staring at Seokju for a moment, Ajin glanced at the bandage around his wrist, the unfamiliar clothing covering his arm, and the view behind Seokju. Then, he finally realized where he was.

“Here… is this the hospital?”

His voice was subdued, with a hint of melancholy. How sweet and gentle that voice was. Seokju momentarily lost his focus, then regained it.

Ajin’s voice sounded so unfamiliar, without crying, yelling, or getting angry. It had been months since he had spoken so calmly. Perhaps Ajin also found his own voice monotonous and faintly trembling.

Seokju slowly nodded.

“Yeah, it’s the hospital.”

“I went outside?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that okay though?”

“…I guess so.”

Seokju affirmed a beat later.

“…”

Ajin stared intently at Seokju. His gaze was deep and sharp. It seemed as if he could see through something. Seokju reflexively avoided that gaze, then looked back at him. His black pupils were stiff with tension.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Ajin didn’t ask anything else. He didn’t resent or inquire further. Continuing in silence, he slowly got up. While leaning on the wall, Seokju supported him as he stood up, staggering.

Ajin didn’t return to bed but stood by the window. And he drew the curtains. The faint blue moonlight, which Seokju had covered, settled thickly over Ajin’s pale face.

Seeing this, Seokju wanted to say, “Let’s go back to bed. You’re not fully recovered yet. You need to rest. Let’s call the doctor for an examination. You need to eat something, at least drink some water first.” But he kept his mouth shut. He felt that his concern might be an unpleasant interference to Ajin.

Ajin looked out the window into the distance. The Seoul night view filled the window. Although it was past midnight and the lights of the buildings were mostly off, the rows of streetlights and the dazzling neon signs of the bars were enough to create a splendid night view.

It was a strange sight. He couldn’t see the outside scenery from the gambling den, and from Seokju’s house below the mountain, only moonlight filled the yard.

At night, the moonlight should be the brightest. But the city’s artificial lights were so strong that they almost obscured the moonlight. It felt like being in a different world.

With his uninjured hand, Ajin gripped the window handle. He wanted to know whether the scene he was seeing outside the window was a dream, reality, a painting, or an actual landscape.

As he tried to pull the window, before his fingers exerted any force, a hand came from behind and opened the door for him.

With the sound of sliding, the sliding window opened, and the cold wind and the blue moonlight rushed in like waves. Ajin took a deep breath of the wind mixed with the city’s scent. Then he grimaced, feeling his lungs ache. The sudden cold air felt like tearing his chest apart.

“Uh…”

As Ajin hunched his shoulders, Seokju asked unusually.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Or cold? I’ll close the door.”

He tried to close the window again. Ajin urgently protested.

“No, I don’t want that. Please don’t close it.”

Ajin didn’t think Seokju would listen to him even if he said so. “No.” He would stubbornly ignore my plea and close the window. Then, he would probably lay me down on the bed as if throwing me there, gripping my wrist. I even entertained the absurd thought that he might take handcuffs out of his pocket and tie my ankles to the bed frame.

But Seokju withdrew his hand from the window without saying a word.

“…”

As if finding it strange, Ajin glanced at Seokju once and then turned his head towards the window. He waited like that for a long time. Not because the cold wind bothered him, but because he wanted to see the unfamiliar cityscape again.

Seokju, who had been guarding Ajin like that, realized that this was the first time Ajin had come outside since entering his house. He had been living indoors, trapped in his room for the past few months. He must have missed the moonlight and fresh air.

Seokju stood a half-step closer to Ajin and called his name softly.

“Ajin.”

“…”

“Do you want to go out?”

At those words, Ajin blinked rapidly. A faint smile appeared on Seokju’s lips as he saw it. He was glad that he could do what Ajin wished for.

Seokju persuaded him gently, as if Ajin was being reluctant and had to be persuaded to give a positive answer.

“There’s a small park in front of the hospital. It’s just entering spring, so some flowers have started to bloom.”

“…”

“There won’t be any cars since it’s dawn. Of course, there won’t be any people either.”

“…”

“Wear warm clothes and let’s go out.”

Seokju opened the closet in the hospital corner and fetched a coat and the blanket he had brought in advance for Ajin. As he thought he might need socks too, a thin voice came from behind.

“Are you testing me?”

“What?”

“If I go out because you tell me to, are you going to hit me, thinking I’m trying to run away?”

“…”

“Or are you going to grab me by the hair and drag me home?”

“…”

“Or are you going to undress me right in the bustling streets of Seoul?”

Seokju’s mouth hung open. But he couldn’t say anything in response. Why would I? Why would I ever do that? I wanted to say that, but it didn’t seem appropriate. He had hit Ajin’s cheek for just lingering in front of the door or wandering in the yard, dragged him like a dog by the hair all the way to the room, and ruthlessly pressed and trampled him in that room.

Seokju tightly clenched the clothing. Ajin murmured as he turned his head away from the window.

“I don’t want to go out.”

There was resignation, regret, despair, and fear mixed in the round back of his head. Seokju rolled his lips. His eyes felt hot with frustration. Seokju, who had taken a sip of dry spit and washed his face with dry hands, approached Ajin. Then he quickly extended something towards him.

“Here.”

Ajin glanced at it absentmindedly, then looked ahead, then quickly looked back at what Seokju was offering. His eyebrows arched upwards in disbelief. There was something utterly unbelievable in front of him.

Slightly larger than the palm of his hand. A black and sturdy body. A long barrel.

It was a gun.

Ajin stared at it as if through it. It wasn’t the first time he had seen a gun. When he worked at the gambling den, the boss had one, and he had seen it occasionally since entering Seokju’s house.

But it was the first time a gun had been handed to him. So it didn’t feel like it was mine at all. It didn’t feel right to hold it. It seemed like Seokju was trying to test me again.

As Ajin reflexively took a step back, Seokju grabbed his wrist firmly. And he personally placed the gun in Ajin’s hand.

“Why, why… I don’t want to. I don’t want to…”

Ajin shook his wrist frantically. But Seokju persistently placed the gun in his hand. He delicately folded each finger to grip the gun handle. Ajin tried to shake off his arm as if it was infested with bugs, but Seokju stood closely in front of him.

And he clasped Ajin’s hand holding the gun with both of his hands and directed it towards himself. Unexpectedly, Ajin stiffened at the turn of events.

“Ajin.”

“…”

“If I try to hit you again, shoot me with this.”

“…”

“Point it here at my head, and pull this.”

“…”

“If you miss, don’t worry. Like this. I’ll push my face against it. Your bullet won’t miss.”

Seokju pressed his face against the gun. The muzzle pressed firmly against his forehead. If Ajin pulled the trigger now, that handsome face would shatter and break grotesquely. The skull would crack, the eyeballs would burst, and the brain matter would gush out.

Ajin shuddered at the thought of that scene. His hand holding the gun trembled violently. Seokju’s hand withdrew.

With a calm expression that contrasted sharply with his earlier threat, he helped Ajin put on his clothes. He wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.

“It’s still cold outside. Even though it’s spring, it hasn’t warmed up at all. But strangely, flowers were blooming.”

“…”

As the atmosphere quickly changed, Ajin rolled his eyes, unsure of what to do. Seokju wrapped his arms around his hips. Then he swiftly lifted him up and sat him on the bed. Startled, Ajin dropped the gun.

Clack, thud. The black metal lump rolled on the floor.

“…”

Seokju picked it up without saying a word and placed it back in Ajin’s hand. Ajin held the gun in a strange posture, neither gripping it nor letting it go.

Seokju knelt at his ankles. This act of kneeling on the cold, hard floor, and this position of looking up at Ajin, truly pleased him. It felt satisfying, almost like atoning.

With a faint smile, he carefully wrapped Ajin’s ankles. Ajin trembled slightly. But fortunately, he didn’t pull his foot away. Seokju began to put socks on his bare feet. Seeing the thick, white socks enveloping Ajin’s feet made him feel quite content.

Seokju glanced up at Ajin. With furrowed eyebrows, Ajin looked at him as if he were seeing a ghost. Seokju chuckled.

“Are you thinking the boss has gone crazy?”