Double Junk - 126

“……”

“But they said the first surgery went well. The pro-unificationists…took grandma away and missed the recovery period.”

Ajin dejectedly slumped his shoulders. From the beginning, they said. When she collapsed and was brought to the hospital, she was already in a dying state. But I didn’t know at all. I was the only one who didn’t know. Seokju knew.

And then…and then he confined me at home. He threatened me, talking about Flower Lady, telling me to shut up and live. He oppressed me so terribly and cruelly.

And in the end, the situation became like this. Flower Lady doesn’t have much time left. I only have a few days left that I can be with her. I missed the chance to save her without even realizing it. I wasted that precious time being trampled by you, crying.

Ajin’s eyes turned beet red. His body trembled violently. A ringing sound spread in his ears. Seokju in front of him seemed like a beast, like an evil spirit.

It seemed like he could imagine what kind of heart Flower Lady had when she took a shard of glass to find Seokju. He had hated Seokju countless times, but never felt the urge to kill him. If he had a gun in his hand now, he might have shot Seokju right away.

Seokju stood in front of Ajin, filled with anger and resentment. And he repeatedly made futile apologies.

“I’m sorry, Ajin. It’s my fault.”

“………”

“I’m sorry for not telling you about the illness, for not protecting grandma, and for it ending up like this.”

Seokju took another step towards Ajin. Then Ajin took a step back. Seokju stopped abruptly. Ajin glared at Seokju with watery eyes.

“Grandma won’t die.”

“…Yeah. She won’t die.”

“I’ll have her get surgery.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll save her.”

I’ll definitely save her.

I won’t be left alone like this in vain.

*

“No.”

As expected, Flower Lady shook her head as soon as she heard about the surgery. Ajin, sitting next to Flower Lady’s bed, closed his eyes tightly. Although he had anticipated this, he couldn’t stop his heart from dropping to the very bottom with a thud.

“Haah…..why not?”

“It’s expensive.”

“But the director will pay for it.”

“Still, I don’t want to be indebted to that man.”

“Why would it be a debt? Oh, think of it as compensation. It’s money you rightfully deserve.”

“You want me to have surgery with the money you earned through bloody tears? Say something that makes sense!”

Flower Lady glared sharply at Ajin and scolded him. Ajin bit his lip. He felt so frustrated he could go crazy.

“Do you know how dirty it feels to have surgery? It hurts worse than being sick. But even if you do, you don’t know if you’ll live or die. The doctor said I could die during the surgery, you know.”

“………”

“Do you want me to die like that, Ajin? Do you want to kill me that way? Still, I can’t. I’ll decide where I die.”

“Why…are you saying that?”

Ajin responded in a gloomy voice. He was so angry at Flower Lady for constantly talking about failing or dying that he wanted to yell at her to stop, but his blocked throat seemed to only let out sobs.

Flower Lady harshly spoke as if the dejected Ajin wasn’t even pitiful.

“Or else, Ajin, let’s leave the hospital together when you’re discharged. I’m sick of hospitals now.”

“Leave? Where would we go after being discharged?”

“Well……”

Flower Lady started to say something carelessly, then closed her lips. After swallowing her dry saliva, she opened her mouth again.

“Anywhere. Anywhere is fine. The streets of Seoul are our home.”

“Just go live anywhere on those streets?”

“Yes.”

“Just the two of us, grandma and me?”

“Yes.”

Ajin slowly closed and opened his eyes. Living peacefully with just Flower Lady in a new home. At first glance, it sounded hopeful, seemed happy, but misfortune came to mind first.

The ailing Flower Lady and me, a cripple. Flower Lady growing weaker and suffering in pain day by day, while I watched her death from afar. After witnessing her death like that, I too would be stained by death. Then one day, our bodies would be found in that wretched home, filling a corner of the newspaper.

Ajin turned his head. He saw Seokju standing beside him. Strangely, his head turned that way, as if seeking Seokju’s answer. Perhaps Seokju noticed, as he opened his mouth as if waiting.

“You can come to my house. I’ll clear out a room for you. You and grandma can live there. You won’t have to worry about meals or medicine costs – I’ll take care of everything for you-”

At those words, Flower Lady, who had been lying listlessly, suddenly sat up. With wide eyes, she barked loudly.

“Are you insane! How can you suggest going back there! Absolutely not. Even if I die on the streets, that’s not an option!”

She grabbed Ajin’s hand. “Right? You won’t go, will you?” Her questioning voice was a jumbled mix of worry and anger. Ajin called out to Flower Lady with a sigh.

“Grandma.”

“No way. Right? Ajin, no way.”

“Listen to me. Since I’m a crippled leg, I can’t be confident about properly caring for your three meals a day. I can’t tend the hearth, gather firewood, go grocery shopping.”

“……….”

“But I also don’t want to see you eating just gruel in a cold empty room.”

“I can do it. I can do all of that. I’m physically able-”

“And I don’t want you working either. What if you collapse? Get sick again? Will I be able to carry you to the hospital with this leg? Or since you’ll die anyway, should I just blankly watch you suffer?”

“……”

“It’ll take all day going back and forth to the hospital for medicine too. I can’t ride vehicles or walk fast, so I’d have to drag my leg the whole way. Who will look after you in the meantime?”

“You don’t need to. I said I’m fine. So let’s just live together, just the two of us. I, I……I don’t want you staying at that house.”

“Then don’t get sick!”

Ajin shouted loudly. His piercing scream seemed to cleave the hospital room in half horizontally. Flower Lady stared at Ajin with wide eyes. Ajin screamed at her like a scream, his ragged breathing scorchingly hot.

“You should have never gotten sick! You should have stayed healthy until your hair turned white!”

“…Ajin.”

“And of all things, your heart got sick! It’s because of you, grandma!”

Why are you making me make this choice? Why are you making me crawl back there? Why are you making me so miserable? Why are you tormenting me? Why are you making me cry again? Why are you leaving me alone again?

Ajin ranted with tears streaming down his face. His body trembled uncontrollably from the rising resentment. Sorrowful tears clung to his eyelashes. After yelling for a while, Ajin suddenly froze stiff – because Flower Lady’s drained face was burned into his retinas.

Ajin collapsed forward across Flower Lady’s legs, hugging her waist tightly and regretting the misdirected resentment he had vented.

“Ah, aahh…no, no. That’s a lie. Grandma, I’m sorry. No……”

“……”

“Grandma didn’t do anything wrong. Sniff, it’s all my fault. I did it all…… I……”

Ajin cried bitterly, clinging to Flower Lady. He felt wedged between walls, unable to move. No, he felt trapped in a coffin, buried alive. The world was dark and he couldn’t breathe.

Reality was unbearable. He wanted to abandon everything and run away. He wanted to hide away in the sky, underground, or underwater and forget this dreadful situation.

“I’m sorry……. I did it because I was scared. I was so scared…… Sniff, don’t die, grandma……”

Ajin burrowed deeper into Flower Lady’s embrace. He was gripping her so tightly. His not fully healed wrist made a cracking sound, then began gushing bl00d.

But it didn’t hurt at all.

The Night When No One Slept

The doctor recommended a few more days of hospitalization. Ajin’s wrist had reopened bleeding, his mind was quite unstable, Flower Lady’s illness – there was more than one cause for concern.

But Ajin shook his head firmly. No one knew how much time Flower Lady had left. The days he could spend with her were limited. He couldn’t bear to spend that precious time in a bleak hospital room.

Thanks to that, Ajin and Flower Lady were discharged hastily. As he prepared for discharge, Ajin pondered seriously. What was the way to make her remaining days as happy and peaceful as possible?

He wanted her to eat only good things, see only good things, and suffer as little pain as possible. To do that, he had to temporarily set aside his own sadness and suffering. His pain could wait until after she was gone.

With that thought, everything became clear. His hazy mind straightened out in an instant.

Gripping Flower Lady’s hand tightly, Ajin got into Seokju’s car waiting outside the hospital. They had to take the car to reach Seokju’s house in a corner of Seoul. Leaving the hospital room and heading to the car felt like a towering mountain of terror. He worried he might wet himself in the car. But once inside, he managed adequately.

Though Seokju in the passenger seat kept worriedly glancing back at Ajin in the backseat, nothing eventful happened.

Seokju’s house looked the same as always after so long. The spacious courtyard, the stylishly curved tiled roof, the thick elongated pillars, the finely colored paper doors.

But Ajin stubbornly kept his eyes down, knowing he’d only recall unpleasant memories if he looked at the house.

Myeongjin led the way, guiding the two of them to their room. He was at least the most comfortable person in this house – no, the only one who didn’t participate in hating Ajin.

The henchmen helpfully carried their luggage even without being asked. It only contained some clothes and medicine from the hospital, so wasn’t heavy, but they briskly followed Myeongjin while carrying it.

As Ajin trudged across the courtyard, he absentmindedly glanced back. Seokju, smoking a cigarette, was watching him from afar. Ajin didn’t avoid his gaze, staring back before slowly turning his head. And he gripped Flower Lady’s hand beside him a bit tighter.